TITLE:   Settling In
AUTHOR: AStory2873@aol.com
SERIES: ST:TNG
RATING: G
CODES: R/T (Imzadi)
TIMELINE: Post Nemesis??
SUMMARY: Companion to Realization...
DISCLAIMER: Characters are the property of Paramount, etc.. No infringement is intended other than the enjoyment of its readers.
FEEDBACK: Encouraged and welcomed.
4/3/02


'Settling In'

Deanna Troi Riker <open personal log>

We have settled onto the Titan.. Our new home.  I miss the Enterprise terribly.  I talked to Beverly at Starfleet Medical yesterday and we have decided to make it a point to get together with everyone at least once a month, schedules permitting.  She is also getting acquainted with her new staff -- I am excited for her and the opportunities before her; however, I feel the loss of my confidant and workout partner profoundly.

I can tell that Will is already missing his Tuesday poker night.  And since Captain Picard joined the games - it made the evenings something we all looked forward to even more. The camaraderie was second to none and very special to all of us.

I suppose we had to go our separate ways eventually, but there was a time when I believed I would serve on the Enterprise and with those people until my dying day.  It has been like growing up and leaving home, trying to find your own place in this vast universe.  We are a family and while I will continue to miss their daily presence - there is much to do here as well.  It won't be easy starting over and long hours will be all too common but neither is something we haven't been through before. An entire crew to get to know, orientate, learn about.  I know the task at hand and I am positive we will adjust in time.

I can scarcely believe that Will and I finally got married and he finally has his own ship.  Or 'our' own ship as he refers to it.  We must have had one of the longest courtships in history.  So many ups and downs and bumps along the way.  I am still utterly amazed we are finally together as husband and wife. 

Even though over the years I had imagined what it might feel like - I never thought.. it could be remotely like this.

These feelings we have for each other are so all-consuming that most of the time I can't distinguish between them. And yet I feel complete and at peace in a way I never dreamed was possible. We truly are two halves of a whole and when we are synchronized together - not even the *best*  Ktarian chocolate puff can compare to the euphoria I experience with Will.  We knew we had a special bond and would always be connected to each other but even this far surpasses anything either of us ever envisioned.

In many ways, I wouldn't want to change a thing from the past almost 2 decades I have known Will.  We may not have chosen the simplest or most direct path to each other and yet if even one circumstance changed - we wouldn't be who we are today.  And for that - I am eternally grateful.

This journey taught us both a great deal about life, hardships, love, friendship, ourselves and each other.  I am not sure I can fully articulate what Will's presence has meant to my life since our first meeting on Betazed all those years ago.  I am constantly asking patients to tell me what they are feeling - to put those emotions into words and yet I can't do the same.  Will often jokes about "who will counsel the counselor" and I guess that is what these logs are for and yet I can't even put my *own* thoughts into words.  Maybe after I have had some time to sort through all the changes of late I will be able to come back to this entry and do just that.

Until that time, however, I must see to my new patients.

<end personal log>

The End.