I never had to define my relationship with Deanna Troi until someone - some
jerk, told me that what I felt for her was lust, not love.

I almost hit him.

And I‘m ashamed to say, that he did get me thinking about Deanna in a way
that I never had before. I‘ve never questioned what was between us, I‘ve
never had to, until now. I‘ve always considered myself to be a man with
depth. Not too much, but enough to make a lady feel cared for - cherished.
Even if it was just for one night.

I guess I‘m no different than any other ‘animal‘ in the universe. We were
put on God‘s earth to procreate, and most of us do a good job of that, I
think. Me, I prefer the safe route. Don‘t fall in love and don‘t leave them
pregnant. If that makes me a swine, then so be it.

I used to have nightmares about some girl coming up to me and saying, ‘I‘m
having your baby, and I thought you‘d want to know about it.‘

Like hell I did!

But if a certain little Betazoid had told me the same thing, I know it
would have been a different story. I know I would have been chuffed to
bits, because she wasn‘t ‘one of those‘. Deanna Troi is the one woman in
this universe that I would have welcomed having a child with.

Not lusted, Loved. No question, no hesitation. Just the pure, honest simple
fact; I loved Deanna Troi.

I‘ve had a lot of women in my lifetime. I‘m not proud of that fact, not
really, but then I am a man, and us men have urges, and unfortunately, we
have to act upon these urges otherwise we become uncontrollable bears.

Some may think I‘m already a bear, what with my height, and the beard, the
way I sometimes growl at ‘stupid people‘. But honestly, I‘m nice, I really
am.

Do you really think Deanna would fall in love with a bear??

But then again, she did date the Klingon...

Nah, that wasn‘t fair. Worf was a nice guy really. I figured Dee just
wanted a little ‘rough ride‘ for a while. thats okay, I can handle that.
I heard she even fell for him a little. Now that I did mind.

There is only one person in this cosmos that Deanna can love, and thats me.
What is between us is something else. I‘ve yet to categorize it. I know I
love her, and she loves me. I know I desire her body even though it has
been ‘a while‘.

That‘s okay, we‘re both cool about it. But it still gets my back up when I
think about what that guy said; Lust. The very idea of it! The cheek!!

Lust is when you go after a woman and you don‘t care who she is, or what
you‘re doing as long as you get ‘a result‘. You don‘t care when you get up
and walk away from her after. Heck, you don‘t even care when she calls you
a ‘mean son of a bitch‘!

Now passion, thats different. Without love, passion sucks. Without love,
passion doesn‘t even figure.

Without Deanna there is no such thing as passion. She ~is~ passion. She is
fire, and heat. She is my light. She is my love. She is the whole friggin‘
ball game.

When she touched me, so long ago, she consumed me. She filled me, she
surrounded me. She took over my heart and left me weak and wilted,
literally, and I didn‘t mind. Deanna had introduced me to the finer art of
love, and lust wasn‘t anywhere in sight.

She wanted me almost as much as I wanted her. I saw, I hunted, I scored.
But she in turn lay down and let me catch her. The chase was short and what
she showed me was more than I‘d ever envisioned.

The animal became a man. I fell ~in love~ with her that day, and I love her
even more deeply today. If I had a chance at reliving the moment we became
joined for eternity, I‘d change nothing - except the massive boob I created
afterwards. A boob that I‘m still paying for. A boob that still keeps us
linked, but irreparably apart.

But even so, she still loves me, so I guess I didn‘t boob too much. I guess
by the time I‘d made the boob, I‘d managed to get under her skin, and for
that, I will be eternally grateful, for life without Deanna Troi‘s love
would not be a life at all.

I love Deanna passionately, but the passion is within. It is secret. It is
cherished, and it is worshipped. When I am with her I am happy and content.
My animalistic traits get crushed underneath the constant waves of love
that wash over me when she‘s near, or when I choose to take out a treasured
moment and savour it for a minute.

And I‘m sure she does the same.

So that man was wrong. I don‘t lust after Deanna, I love her. Lust is
constantly on the wander, looking for ~something~ Love is like being home
with apple pie.

Lust!!?? Ha! Who needs lust when I have passion, love, Deanna Troi AND
apple pie?

End