Lost chance
by Carol Sandford
Rated: PG
Set: After the ep. Future Imperfect
Disclaimer: Yep, Paramount are rich, I am not

‘I miss her. I don‘t know why, but I do.

I don‘t know how many times I had said it, but every time I did, I felt her
pull just a fraction more. But where is she pulling me to? There is nothing
to culminate the reunion, just another moment of loneliness. Just another
reminder that I loved a figment of my imagination.

Only she wasn‘t, not really. I talked to her. I laughed with her. I held
her in my arms and we danced. In my mind‘s eye I made love to her too. Just
another part of my imagination, but it is the strongest one of all. The one
I am going to cling on to, no matter what.

I feel her love and it embraces me, even now, even after all this time. I
know she felt the same for me, I just know it, and it must have been true,
because Barash would not, could not have created Minuet from just a
treasured moment in time. The power of our love must have been strong,
strong enough to create the ultimate fantasy.

Only he had killed her. I had a chance of loving her all over again and he
snatched it away from me. I don‘t care that he had made a monumental
mistake in using her image, and I don‘t care that he invaded my innermost
secrets to obtain that image. But hell, I just wanted to hold her again. I
just wanted another chance to satisfy my desolate soul so that I could be
with her again.

Love her again.

I wanted to tell her how I felt. I wanted to hear those same words from
her. I wanted to taste her skin. Her lips. Her hair. And I wanted to trace
pathways with my fingertips, down her throat, between her breasts and
further beyond.

Oh God, I wanted her, I wanted her so damn much.

I just wanted a little while.

I feel denied. Cheated. Helpless.

Angry.

Just a little while.

Just a minute.

That‘s all I wanted.‘

End