by Carol Sandford
Disclaimers out there, just gotta look for it
Set: Um, I give up

I lay in bed, just on the brink of sleep. I was tired. Actually I was
exhausted. Counselling the crew after the latest mission had reduced me to
a frazzled crisp, and I desperately needed some R & R. But most of all I
needed sleep.

Lots of it.

There had been no time for relaxing with my friends. Beverly had had more
than enough on her plate with the injuries some crew had sustained.
Thankfully none were major. The weekly game of poker had even been
postponed, and that was a shame as we all could have used that precious
quality time to unwind, catch up and more importantly, to laugh again.

As for Will, I had barely seen him. he had been up to his ears with doing
the rotas to allow for the changes that had occurred with the mission, and
then of course doing the reports.

I didnt envy him that job.

Tomorrow was another day, one I was sure would be as normal as normal could
get on the Enterprise. I sighed deeply as I snuggled down further into my
coverlet as the thought of normality swept through me, managing to settle
my mind and my body.

That was until I heard the unmistakable sound of a womans high pitched
squeal; A squeal that indicated that she was been manhandled and enjoying
every minute of it.

And guess who the man was that was handling her?

Uh huh, the only man on the ship with a reputation even larger than him,
William T Riker.

I waited for his door to open, but was surprised at the silence. But then
my heart fell  with one almighty thump as I realised what they were doing.

Kissing. Thats what they were doing, right there in the corridor.

The image in my mind was so vivid I might as well have been hiding around
the corner watching them.  I found myself listening intently, I couldn't
stop  myself, even though it was worse than torture.

The woman giggled again and I wondered if I knew who it was.  I berated
myself, of course I knew who it was! I was the ships Counselor, I knew
everyone. And somehow that made it worse.

And I wondered if she knew who I was. I wondered if she knew about Will
and I.

But then I thought, What about Will and I? There is no Will and I.

Well, not at the minute.

I heard his door finally open and close a heartbeat later and I wondered if
he would ply her with more wine before he bedded her, or whether she was
the type to go at it from the word go.  I must admit, I went right at it.

But then, I did love him.

I still do.

I always will.

Im pathetic.

Im jealous.

And lonely.

God, Im lonely.

Roll on tomorrow; To normality; To friendships; To maybes.

Maybe itll be my turn tomorrow.