Wishful Thinking
by Carol Sandford
Disclaimers out there, just gotta look for it
Set: When they weren't a couple

Not so long ago, I used to count my men, my lovers. For a long while I
thought of myself as ‘Loose‘, it wasn‘t a title I was proud of and it
certainly wasn‘t something that I wanted my colleagues to know about.

Oh, Will Riker was different. He knew, whether I told him or not. But
funnily enough, he was the only one who I had no fear of condemnation, and
I always assumed it was because he was the same way.

Will used to date women as many times as I ate chocolate, it seemed to be
almost constant.

I wasn‘t that bad!

But I had quite a few, more than my colleagues knew about. More than those
that the Captain had a right to know about. God, I hated revealing my
relationships to him when a mission ended or went bad.

Why was it me that always suffered when it went wrong. Why was it me that
always ended up with ‘the bad guy‘? And why was it me that always seemed to
lose my heart?

I guess because I was always searching for that elusive relationship that
meant more than a quick roll in the hay. But I never found it. Oh, I always
thought I had, but I never did.

Mind you, Will Riker didn‘t seem to fare any better than I. He managed to
fall in love even more times than I did, but the end result was always the
same. We both always ended up with a temporary broken heart.

Thats an odd phrase, ‘Temporary broken heart‘, but its so true. Each
relationship we ever had that meant anything, was over and done with within
days, hours sometimes. Which just goes to show just how shallow we have

Each one of us too damn scared to take the real plunge and fall headlong
and hopelessly in love.

So why don‘t we. Why doesn‘t that happen to us?

I don‘t know, and I don‘t suppose Will does either. On the odd occasion we
have sought each other out to console one another on another failed
liaison, we always end up blubbering like idiots asking that same
ridiculous question, ‘Why me?‘

But I‘m glad he‘s there to make me feel better, he always does, and I know
I seem to be able to do the same trick for him. I guess thats why we are
such close friends. I guess thats why we are like we are.

Two people, searching for a relationship that was as strong and intense,
erotic and mind blowing.
All consuming and simply as wonderful as ours once was.

Isn‘t it a shame that we can‘t give each other what we seek in everyone
else anymore?

We wish...