The challenge:

Most of you have probably watched an episode of the show and thought that you could have written it better. Or you wish the writers had put a scene in there that seems to be missing. Well, here's your chance to make it so.

Choose an episode of the show that you could improve on in some way. If you're really ambitious, you could rewrite the whole thing as a novelette and do it your own way (sticking with cannon or veering away from it - either way is fine).

Here's a response from Nemesis. For the most part, this is based on
a paragraph from the novel which since the turbolift scene was
deleted from the movie I had to adapt for the movie. It takes place
after the mental rape of Deanna and before Sickbay.

Disclaimers: The usual. Also, I borrowed a couple of lines from the
novelization of Nemesis by J.M. Dillard.


"She threw her arms around Will and took comfort in the strong arms
that enfolded her."

He rolled over on to his back and held her tightly as she cried. He
knew something had happened – something horrible. Soon Deanna's sobs
quieted. He kissed the top of her head. She recoiled. <<What the
hell happened to her?>> She was trembling.

"Deanna, what happened?" He asked gently.

She pulled out of his embrace and got up. She picked up her
nightgown from the floor and put it on and grabbed her robe. All of
a sudden, she was freezing. When Will sat up, she turned around. He
pulled on his robe, got up, and moved to her side. When he reached
out to touch her, she pulled away and went into the living room. She
sat down in a chair. He followed, more confused than ever.

"Please tell me what happened? Obviously something has made you
scared of me."

Deanna was quiet for several minutes. Will could see she was
centering herself before she could tell him what had happened. "It
was Shinzon and his Viceroy." She finally said.

"Shinzon and his Viceroy?" Anger welled up in Will. "What did they
do to you?" A horrifying thought crossed his mind. <<Not again>> he
thought. "Did they mentally rape you?"

"Yes." Deanna said and started sobbing again. When Will moved
toward her she pulled her feet up on the chair. "No. Please don't
touch me." He stopped. "They entered my mind and you became first
Shinzon, then the Viceroy, then Shinzon again." She was beginning to
tense up and tremble again.

"One of them is telepathic?"

Deanna nodded. "I think it's the Viceroy. When we were on the
Scimitar, there was a fleeting attempt at telepathic communication.
I thought I was imagining it." She knew the one other thing she had
to tell Will would hurt most of all. It hurt her most of all, but
they had promised not to keep secrets from each other. "They called
me Imzadi."

Will started pacing around the room in anger. He knew he had to work
through the anger and hatred before she sensed it. He was hoping
that Deanna was too distraught over her ordeal to feel his anger and
hatred toward Shinzon and the Viceroy. He was wrong.

"Will, you're angry." She knew it was an understatement.

"You're damn right I'm angry! I have every right to be angry!
Deanna, those bastards mentally raped you and to make it worse, I
became them when we were making love. It was almost as if I was the
one raping you."

"You weren't. The only thing that prevented me from completely
surrendering to the horror of it and probably from lapsing into a

coma like last time was I kept telling myself that it was your body."

"But they were in your mind! You thought I was them! They called
you Imzadi!" He sat down on the sofa and buried his head in his
hands. His anger was dissipating a bit. Seeing how distraught Will
was made Deanna feel almost motherly. He looked so lost. She moved
from the chair to the sofa and sat next to will wrapping an arm
around him. "Deanna, I just want to kill them both." He shook his
head. "Here I call myself civilized. But all I want to do is kill
him with my own hands."

Deanna smiled a bit. Will often used humor in tense situations to
diffuse the tension. Maybe she could do the same. "I like my men a
bit primitive." It didn't work. Will didn't even smile. "We'll be
fine. I'll research Betazoid techniques to shut myself off. It'll
be tough for a few days but everything will be fine. Don't worry,
our honeymoon will be as romantic as we planned."

"I hope you're right." He sounded a bit calmer than he was
earlier. "Maybe I should take you to Sickbay just to make sure
you're OK physically."

"OK." She got up and started to the bedroom. "Do you think I should
ask to be relieved from my duties?"


"I could become a liability. What if Shinzon tries to use me to
destroy the Enterprise or worse the Federation."

"If that's what you want, I'll back you up."

"Thanks." She continued into the bedroom to dress. Will followed a
bit later. He was still feeling a little upset and was hoping this
mental rape didn't affect Deanna in ways he couldn't even see. She
seemed confident that everything would be OK. He hoped she was right.