Recovery

carol020@juno.com

This takes place approximately a month after Lost Souls ends.

Disclaimers: The characters aren't mine and I'm not getting paid for
this.

Rating: Teen and up.

Recovery

Will Riker had just gotten into bed after a long day overseeing
repairs to Titan. He and Deanna were staying in temporary quarters
on McKinley Station while Titan was undergoing its repairs. Deanna
was already in bed but as he lay down, she rolled over and snuggled
up. He could feel her happiness that they were together and their
unborn daughter was alive and healthy. He was happy too but he was
still feeling guilty about leaving her and the rest of the away team
behind on Axion. Deanna looked up at him and he knew she could sense
his feelings.

"I forgive you for leaving us behind. Even mother has forgiven you."

"I know. You could have died on Axion and I wouldn't have known it."

"I know, but we didn't." She took a breath. She knew what she was
about to suggestion wouldn't make her husband happy but she also knew
it was something that she had to suggest. "I was talking with Huilan
today and he suggested that the Away Team and you go through some
counseling while we're
here."

"Why?"

"You're feeling guilty about leaving us. He's talked to the others
and they're harboring some anger at you for leaving us. We all
understand why but it doesn't stop us from being angry with you."

"You're angry too." It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"Do you want to talk about it now?"

She knew he wouldn't like her answer. "No. I've made us an
appointment with Huilan tomorrow morning."

"Without making sure I was OK with counseling?"

"Yes." She propped herself up on her elbow. "Since we got back,
things have been wonderful for us but I've still got feelings of hurt
and anger about your leaving us behind. You may be trying to hide
your guilt, but you're not doing that good a job. Right now, I'm not
worried about our marriage. We made it through our fertility
treatments but it could hurt us and our daughter in the future."

He reached up and caressed her hair. "OK."

She leaned over and kissed him before laying down again.

The next morning, Will woke up when he heard Deanna get up and run to
the bathroom. He got up and went into the bathroom to hold her hair
and rub her back. She had tried many remedies for morning sickness
but none worked. A few minutes later, Deanna sat back leaning into
Will's arms. She looked up at him and smiled. "This shouldn't last
much longer. I hope."

"That's OK. I'll get up with you."

"Thanks." She chuckled. "I'm not going to complain about the
morning sickness though. Our daughter is healthy."

"I agree." He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "Do you
feel up to some chamomile tea and some crackers?"

"Yes." She started to get up. Will got up and helped her the rest
of the way up. While she rinsed her mouth and brushed her teeth,
Will went to the replicator and requested tea and crackers from
Deanna and orange juice and a bagel for himself. He had given up
coffee at home because the smell tended to cause Deanna to become
nauseous. He would rather wait for his first cup of coffee than see
her suffer.

Will put the food and drinks on the table and sat down. Deanna came
out a couple of minutes later and sat down.

"Feeling better?"

"Yes." She started nibbling on her crackers and sipping her
tea. "The morning sickness does seem to be easing a bit. I'm not
suffering from the dry heaves I was a week ago."

"And you're keeping your breakfast down."

She nodded and smiled. "Maybe you'll be able to have some coffee at
home soon." She loved that he had willingly given up coffee at home
when he saw that the aroma made her nauseous.

"It's for a good cause." He reached over and patted her hand. "So,
what time is our appointment?"

"0900. You're not angry with me for making this appointment without
talking to you first are you?"

"No. You're right. Everything is fine now but down the road it
could change especially if we face any more problems like we did with
conceiving this baby."

"There is one more thing Huilan suggested."

Will looked at her suspiciously. "What was that?"

"Well, he wants to talk to all of us individually and then he would
like a group session where we all would talk about our feelings to
each other."

"So all of you on the Away Team can yell at me for leaving you
behind."

"Right and we would all hear your reasons. I'm sure some of the team
may be reluctant to tell their CO how angry they were at him."

"Did you sense any anger from any of them?"

"No and I also noticed that none of them have requested a transfer
off the ship."

"I noticed that too." He smiled. "Will Huilan have a security team
there to protect me if necessary?"

Deanna laughed and got up to get herself something for breakfast.
Will shook his head when she came back with chocolate chip pancakes
and apple juice. "I gather your appetite is improving as the morning
sickness subsides?"

"Yes."

"While you eat, I'm going to shower and dress."

"Can't you wait until I'm done? Then I can join you in the shower."
She said suggestively.
"I suppose I can." He got up and got himself some more for
breakfast. After finishing breakfast, Will and Deanna took a
romantic shower and then dressed.

Here's part 2

Disclaimers in part 1

Rating Teen and up

When they arrived at Huilan's temporary office on the starbase,
Huilan started the session by asking Deanna not to tune in to Will's
feelings but allow him to express them. She agreed.

"OK. Captain, how about if you start by telling Deanna why you
decided to leave the Away Team?"

Will took a breath. "I didn't want to leave them. Captain Hernandez
said she could help us escape from the Caeliar. We knew about the
war with the Borg and felt helpless as we saw casualty lists. I had
a duty to my ship and the Federation." He put his head in his
hands. Deanna started to reach out but Huilan shook his head. "It
was either leave 8 people as captives or doom over 300 people to
captivity. I wasn't sure if one more ship would make a difference in
the war." He turned to Deanna. "Dee, I'm so sorry for leaving you
and the others. I hate myself for doing it. I chose duty over the
woman I love more than anything in the whole galaxy and the daughter
who I never would have known." He took her hands in his. "Please
forgive me. If you can't forgive me, I will never be able to
forgive myself."

"Will, I forgive you. As a Starfleet officer, I understand. As your
wife, I was angry and hurt that you would leave me and our daughter.
At first, I thought Inyx wanted to terminate my pregnancy rather
than save it. I wanted you there. I wanted you there when our
daughter died. When I was healed, I thought I would never see you
again. I thought I would have our daughter without you and that she
would grow up never knowing her daddy. I was worried you would be
killed. I would rather have had you as a fellow captive than lose
you." She started to cry. Will looked over a Huilan who nodded.
Will got up and knelt in front of Deanna pulling her into his arms.

Huilan smiled. He knew that both had let everything out. He hoped
the group session would go as well as this one did.

A few minutes later, Deanna stopped crying and sat back up while Will
moved back to his chair.

"I can tell that both of you expressed most of your feelings of anger
and guilt. What I want you to do is to continue communicating. I
know you two had a lot of problems over the last year and it looks
like there will be a happy ending. I think the biggest problem with
what happened between you was that you didn't communicate."

Deanna looked at Will. "We will from now on. We have a good
reason." She said patting her abdomen.

"Good."

"One more thing, counselor," Will said. He wasn't sure he wanted to
bring this up in front of the counselor but knew it would stay within
these walls. Huilan nodded. "Deanna, I want you to know about
something that happened in my Ready Room, the day Dr. Ree told us
that he wanted to terminate your pregnancy."

"I know what happened. Christine told me and I sensed your terror."

"She told me, but what she didn't know was what I was thinking at the
time." He knew Deanna sensed how he was feeling at the time but knew
he needed to tell her anyway. "I was feeling that you rejected me
when I needed you most. I needed comfort. I wanted our baby too. I
was heartbroken over your miscarriage. You didn't seem to need or
want me."

"I know. I had been pushing you away for months. We were sleeping
in the same bed but the closeness wasn't there. Christine was
missing Jaza. As I told her it was a classic case of transference
with a touch of displacement."

Huilan smiled and nodded. "That's what I mean. You two need to talk
about everything - even baby names." Deanna told him about their
trouble deciding on a name for their daughter.

"We will." Deanna said. Will nodded his assent.

"I'm meeting with the rest of the Away Team over the next couple of
days then we'll have the group session."

"Will you have security there to protect me?"

"If necessary." Huilan said with a laugh. "I'll let you know when
the group session will be."

"OK."

Will and Deanna left and went back to their quarters. "I guess I
better go to the ship and see how repairs are going."

"OK. How about if we go out for dinner for a change?" Deanna
suggested. "During one of my exploring sessions, I found a nice
restaurant that looks like it might be romantic."

"Sure. I'll see you at around 1730 hours."

"I'll be here." Will gave Deanna a quick kiss and left.

Deanna smiled. What she hadn't told Will was that she found a new
dress during one of her exploration missions that she new would be
perfect for a romantic evening. She and Will hadn't had a nice
romantic evening in far too long. By the time he came home, she was
usually in bed.

Here's part 3.

Disclaimers in Part 1

Rating: Adult

Later that afternoon, Will came home. He didn't see Deanna but heard
the shower. He smiled and placed the flowers he brought her on the
table. Then he went into their bedroom and stripped for a shower
deciding to join Deanna. If she was planning a romantic evening,
what better way to start it was with a romantic shower with her. She
smiled when he stepped in the shower and pulled her into an embrace.
After finishing in the shower, Deanna dried her hair while Will
dressed. She made him wait in the living room while she dressed.

When Deanna came out of the bedroom, Will looked up and smiled. "You
look gorgeous." Her dress was black and strapless and short. She
wore black stockings and black heels.

"Thanks. After I found the restaurant, I decided to see if I could
find an appropriate outfit. I spotted this right away and knew you
would like it. I figured if I was going to get it; I had better do
it now because a month from now I probably won't fit into it."

Will chuckled. "Then, we'll just have to find some equally beautiful
and sexy outfits for you."

"Thanks." She went over to him and he pulled her into an embrace.
She looked up at him and he leaned down and kissed her. Deanna
pulled away first. "We better go. Our reservation is in 15
minutes." She smiled seductively. "I requested a secluded table."

"That's good." He knew this evening might be one of the best nights
they had in several weeks. They left their quarters and walked hand-
in-hand to the restaurant. They passed a jazz club that Will had
been wanting to check out.

"Maybe we can stop here after dinner. We haven't been dancing in
awhile."

"We'll see."

During dinner, they sat side by side in a secluded booth in the
restaurant. They ate slowly, stopping to share a kiss periodically.
After dinner, they went to the jazz club for some dancing. Will held
Deanna close as they danced to a slow song. She lay her head on his
shoulder and closed her eyes enjoying the closeness and the way Will
was holding her. After the dance, they went back to their table to
finish their drinks.

The ensemble started to play Glenn Miller's Nearness of You. Deanna
knew it was one of Will's favorite songs. "Do you feel up to another
dance?" He asked.

"Yes." They got up and danced. Again, Will held her close. After
the song ended, Deanna suggested they go home. Will agreed and they
walked back to their quarters.

When the door closed, Deanna wrapped her arms around Will. He held
her as close as he had when they danced. Deanna looked up at him and
smiled seductively. "Computer, play Glenn Miller's Moonlight
Serenade." She smiled again. "Do you feel up to another dance?"

Will smiled. "Yes." He held her close as they swayed to the music
barely moving from the spot they were standing in. Deanna looked up
at Will and he leaned down and kissed her. As the kiss deepened,
both were beginning to feel the stirrings of desire. Will picked
Deanna up and carried her into the bedroom. He set her down on the
floor and kissed her again. They slowly undressed themselves while
looking into each other's eyes stopping for a kiss. After both were
undressed, Will picked Deanna up again and lay her on the bed. He
lay down next to her. She looked up at him and smiled seductively.
He knew exactly what she wanted. He pulled her to him and kissed
her. As the kiss deepened, their desire for each other became
stronger. They made love slowly and tenderly.

Afterward, Deanna snuggled up next to Will. He held her as she
snuggled. "I hope we can do this 6 or 7 months from now." She said.

"We will."

"Then I guess it's a good thing that Dr. Ree cleared me medically."

After another kiss, both fell asleep.

Here's part 4.

Disclaimers in part 1

Rating All.

Several days later, Huilan was able to get the away team and Will
together in his temporary office for the discussion. The individual
sessions had gone well and he hoped the group session would go as
well. His primary concern was Torvig who he wasn't sure would be
willing to open up with his commanding officer. He also wasn't sure
how much Tuvok would open up but hoped he would at least open up in
some way. When the whole group had assembled, the started the
session.

"First of all, all of you should open up. Nothing you say here will
be held against you in any way. Counselor, it might be helpful if
you would put up your shields." Deanna nodded. "Also, I would like
Dr. Ree to go first, followed by Counselor Troi just in case."
Deanna nodded again. She glanced at Will who looked a bit
concerned. She patted his hand to indicate she would be
fine. "Doctor."

"I was angry that you would leave us behind especially Counselor
Troi. You stood by her when she refused an abortion only to leave
her when she needed you most. I know you were doing your duty and
everything turned out fine; but if Inyx hadn't been able to save
Deanna and your daughter, Deanna would have died with friends by her
side but not her husband."

Will looked down at his hands. He knew this would be difficult to
listen to but didn't count on Ree's reminding him that Deanna would
have died without him at her side. Deanna reached over and took
Will's hand. She glanced at Huilan who indicated that it was OK.

Deanna took a breath. "I was angry at you for leaving us behind. As
a Starfleet officer, I understood why you left. As your wife, I
couldn't understand how you could leave me behind. I wanted you by
my side when I thought Inyx wanted to terminate my pregnancy. I
wanted you to be to be the first to know that our daughter was alive
and would be OK. I was afraid you wouldn't be there when she was
born and that she wouldn't know her daddy." She squeezed Will's
hand.

Ree looked over at her. She nodded that she was OK.

"Who would like to go next?" Huilan asked.

"I will go next." Tuvok volunteered. "Unlike everyone else in this
room, I am not driven by emotions but I could feel the anger and hurt
everyone felt. I know you did what you took an oath to do but you
nearly lost your wife. I lost my son and, despite suppressing my
emotions, I feel the loss as you would have if we could not have
gotten back."

Will looked up at Tuvok. He knew Tuvok was correct. He would have
missed Deanna as he knew Tuvok and T'Pel missed their son even if
they didn't show it.

Keru whispered to Torvig who nodded. "I'd like to go next." He
hesitated but Keru nodded. "Sir, this isn't easy because I'm not
used to speaking freely to my CO. I understand how you were doing
your duty by going back to the Federation to assist in the battle
with the Borg. What I don't understand is how you could leave your
wife behind. Commander Keru told me you and Counselor Troi have
known each other for a long time. He told me that everyone on the
Enterprise was thrilled when you announced your engagement and when
you got married. What I don't understand is how you could leave
someone that you've known for so long behind; someone you've loved
for so long; someone who was pregnant with your daughter." He took a
breath. "I also don't understand how you could leave 4 members of
your senior staff behind. They are your friends and most trusted
advisers. I'm an ensign and you really don't know me that well but
you left 4 people who you do know well."

Will looked down into his hands again. Deanna reached over and
squeezed his hand again. She reached out with her senses to him and
could feel that this was becoming overwhelming to him.

After Sortollo and Dennisar spoke, Keru decided it was his
turn. "How could you leave us behind for a war that you weren't even
sure the Federation would win? I'm glad you had a hand in destroying
the Borg by taking Captain Hernandez back but when you left us you
didn't know. You could have been killed and none of us would have
known it. Deanna would have spent the rest of her life never knowing
if you were alive. Tuvok wouldn't have known if T'Pel were alive.
You were so kind to me when Sean was killed but you were willing to
leave your wife and daughter behind. That makes no sense to me."

Will didn't look up. Deanna squeezed his hand again. She could see
that his eyes were brimming with tears and that he was fighting to
hold them back.

"Commander, it's your turn." Huilan said to Vale. After hearing
what the others said and seeing how Will was reacting, she wasn't
sure she wanted to say anything but knew she had to.

"Captain, you've had to hear a lot in the last 30 minutes and I can
see how it has hurt you. We all understand that you did what you did
out of a duty to Starfleet and Titan. Like everyone else, I can't
understand how you could leave Deanna. After Inyx healed her, we
were happy for both of you. Yes, we were captives but we were
treated well. Deanna would have had your daughter and all of us
would have been there for her but you are the one person she wanted
there most of all. I can empathize with how Deanna felt. I lost
someone I cared about a great deal" she glanced at Deanna. "Some
might even say I loved him. I'm angry at you for possibly causing
her to go through what I went through. Besides, how do you explain
to a little girl that her father intentionally left her behind."

Will put his head in his hands. Deanna moved closer and wrapped her
arms around her.

"How about if we take a short break?"

As everyone left the room, they each stopped to pat Will on the
shoulder to show him that despite what they said, they cared about
him. Dr. Ree stayed behind to make sure Deanna was OK. Deanna saw
that he had his tricorder out and nodded that it was OK to run it.
After Ree ran the tricorder over Deanna, he left the room.

Will wrapped his arms around Deanna. Both cried as they held each
other close. When both recovered their composure, Deanna went to get
the others. <<Don't worry about letting everyone see your emotions.
I know what leaving us did to you but they don't.>>

Will nodded. When everyone was seated, he looked around the room.

"I didn't want to leave. Captain Hernandez said she could help us
get back to the Federation. You all saw the casualty lists. We all
lost people we knew; people we were at the Academy with; people we
served with and ultimately family. Tuvok, I regret that we couldn't
get back to save your son and daughter in law. I wasn't sure if we
could help but I knew we had to try. We would have come back for
you. I was not prepared to completely forget the 8 people that I
left behind." He turned to Deanna knowing that he was repeating what
he had said during their session but he wanted to repeat it for the
others. "I hate myself for leaving you and our daughter behind. I
chose duty over the woman I love more than anything else in the
galaxy. I probably would have missed our daughter's birth and who
knows what other firsts." He looked around the room. "I know it will
be hard, but please forgive me. I know none of you have requested
transfers yet and hope you don't. Please give me a second chance."

Christine got up from her chair and went over to Will. She took his
hand and pulled him to his feet. She hugged him. "I'll give you a
second chance."

The others got up and came over to Will. Deanna wasn't sure if the
others would actually hug Will as Christine had. Sortollo and
Dennisar both shook his hand and indicated they would stay. Torvig
followed. He also shook Will's hand and said he would stay. Tuvok
nodded and indicated he would stay and in an attempt at humor
said. "T'Pel is look forward to babysitting your daughter. She said
that if I did not stay on Titan, I would have to go to another
assignment without her." Will smiled. Tuvok lifted his hand. "Live
long and prosper."

Ree stepped forward next and shook Will's hand. "I've been through
too much with you two over the last year to not be there when your
little miracle is born."

Keru was next. He hugged Will. "You can count on me. There were a
lot of people who weren't tolerant of my relationship with Sean but
you were." Will nodded his thanks.

After Keru moved away, Huilan stepped up. "I'm going too." He
shrugged. "I figure you'd want to know." He shook Will's hand.

After Huilan moved away, Will turned to Deanna. "What about you?"

She tried to look like she was trying to decide but no one was buying
her attempt. "I guess I'll stay on Titan." She hugged him as the
others laughed.

"I just need to say two more things. You were downright happy with
me compared to Deanna's mother. I thought she was going to find some
ancient Betazoid torture technique to use on me." Everyone
laughed. "I also want to treat all of you to lunch. There's a nice
restaurant in the concourse, McCoy's." As everyone started to leave
the room, Christine stopped Will, Deanna, and Huilan.

"Can the 4 of us talk alone?"

Huilan knew what Christine wanted and understood that it was
something she didn't want to bring up with the others in the room.

"Sure." Will said. He had a feeling what she wanted. Keru said
that he would get a table at the restaurant.

"I just wanted to apologize in front of Deanna and Huilan for my
actions in your Ready Room. You were upset about Dr. Ree's prognosis
of Deanna's condition, but I acted totally unprofessionally. Almost
kissing you was the worst thing a First Officer could do to her
Captain especially one married to someone who loves him very much."

"Chris, I understand and I accept your apology." He smiled. "As I
once told Deanna, you'd be surprised how far I hug can go for
personnel problems."

Vale laughed. "You've used hugs for personnel problems."

"Yes, with Worf and Geordi."

Vale laughed again. "You'll have to tell me that one sometime."

"Come on, let's go get some lunch." He turned to Huilan. "Would you
like to join us?"

"No thanks. I have some appointments. If any of you need to talk
further, please let me know."

"Thanks. We will."

Here's the final part. I hope you've enjoyed this little story

Disclaimers in part 1

Rating: All

The trio joined the rest of the group at the restaurant for lunch.
During lunch, the group discussed how repairs were going and
speculated what their next assignment would be. They all hoped that
they would continue their exploration. They knew it would take them
away from the friends and, in some cases, family; but they also knew
that they accepted their assignments on Titan because it was a ship
of exploration.

Eventually the conversation turned to baby names. "We're down to a
few possibilities but can't decide which one to use." Deanna said.

"What have you considered?" Christine asked.

"Elizabeth after Will's mother and Kestra after my sister are the
front runners." Deanna said.

"How about Inyx?" Keru suggested.

"For a girl?" Will said.

"That's a good point."

"We're also considering Natasha after Tasha Yar who was Security
Chief on the Enterprise D when we both first came on board as well as
Kathryn." Will said.

"After Captain Janeway?" Tuvok asked.

"Yes." Deanna said. "We've also considered Erika after Erika
Hernandez. If it hadn't been for her, we wouldn't be sitting here
today."

Everyone nodded. "Deanna, knowing your mother, surely she came up
with a few suggestions." Christine said.

"Oh yes. She likes Kestra, Kesanna, which was her mother's name, and
Cassandra, which was my father's mother's name."

"Not Lwaxana?" Keru asked.

"Believe it nor not no." Deanna said. "Apparently she was never
overly excited about her name."

The others laughed.

"Deanna, Captain, I have some news for you two that I was going to
give you at your next appointment." Ree said.

"Is it good or bad news?" Deanna asked.

"It depends on your point of view. A few months from now it could be
bad news."

"What is it?"

"I spent some time researching gestation periods for babies of mixed
heritage with particular emphasis on your situation. I discovered
that in most cases the baby's birth was usually between the 2 races
or species. In other words, since you're just about 3 months along,
your baby will most likely be born in about 6 ½ months."

"Thanks. I guess we'll have a couple of less weeks to get ready."
Deanna said.

"I also wanted to let you know that I spoke with your mother."

"During your research?"

"No. She contacted me. I gather she has never met a Pahkwa-thanh
before?"

"Probably not." Deanna said and then started laughing. "I can only
imagine her reaction."

"Let me guess she didn't want you to deliver her granddaughter."
Will said.

"She didn't say. She wanted me to put you on medical leave." Ree
said

"Why?" Deanna asked.

"She wants to you go home to Betazed so she can make sure her first
granddaughter is delivered as properly befits someone of her status
and so that she can introduce the baby properly to Betazoid society."

All except Tuvok laughed. They all had heard of the formidable
Lwaxana Troi.

"What did you tell her?" Deanna asked.

"That I couldn't put you on medical leave unless it was medically
necessary and it's not medically necessary."

"She must have loved that." Will said.

"Let's just say that she wasn't thrilled. Before she ended the
communication, she said something about going to Starfleet Command."

Deanna yawned. "I'm sorry about that."

"That's OK. It's normal." Ree said.

"Do you want to go back to our quarters?" Will asked.

"When you're ready to go."

"You look like you're ready to fall asleep."

"OK." She and Will stood up to go. "I just want to say one thing
before we go. I noticed that when you all expressed your feelings
about what happened that none of you seemed to be upset about being
left behind for yourselves but for me. That means so much to me."
Her voice started to crack. Will wrapped an arm around her. "I'm
sorry for getting so emotional."

"That's OK." Ree said. "And perfectly normal."

"I agree with Deanna." Will said. "It means so much to me that you
would be angry with me for leaving Deanna." He smiled. "I'm also
glad you're all staying. Thanks for everything."

"No problem." Vale said with a smile. "Will, why don't you take the
day off. I can handle overseeing the repairs."

"Thanks."

Will and Deanna left

"They're going to be just fine." Keru said.

"We all will be." Vale said.

"As long as we all remember to communicate." Tuvok said.

The End