What If?

By: Carrie

Description: What if someone elso would capture Will`s heart? What if this love would be as strong as the love Will and Deanna share? What if Will would meet his earth soulmate?

Chapter One

Will Riker was furious. The last week had really screwed him. First, he led an away team into the burnig hell of an likely unfamiliar planet and got nearly captured by human-eating animals. Second, he ad a serious dispute with Deanna about their "status-quo" relationship. And Third, he lost at the weekly pokergame twice in a row against Geordi, the worst player of them all.

And now he had to welcome the new crewmen from the academy and certein ships who were picked out to serve under Picards command.

While pacing along the ship , he briefly studierd the files of the new crewmen. " Pearson, Amanda.. science...... Smith, Joel.....navigator...Urban, Kraz......medical staff........." He reached transporter room 3 where O `Brien happily smiled:" Commander." Will locked up for a short:" Hello, Chief." and went back to his padd.

Chief O `Brien tried to pull his superoir officer into a conversation:" Well. I am really looking forward to all these new cremen,well maybe I even find a suitable wife for myself."

Will went on studying:" Winters, Hailie...." Then he looked up and gave the Chief a devilish smile:" Just make sure I won`t grab them away in front of your Irish nose:" Well, O ´Brien always knew how to lighten up Rikers` day.

Exactly at this moment the first group of "New Flesh" appeared on the transporter platform.
Will started to call out names.

It took him one hour until everybody had been placed into their new cabins.

" Commander, there is still one person who needs to be greeted."O´Brien warned before Will could make his way out of the transporter room.

" Go ahead , Chief." Will answered exhausted.

When the beautiful blonde appeared at the transport room Will`s breath was taken away. Somhow he managed to throw the standart greeting at her.

She smiled sheepishly:" Nice to meet you Commander Riker. I am more than honored to serve under Cpt. Picard."

Will smiled brightly. Thoughts crossing his mind which had definetly nothing to do with work. He took her appearance in.

He body structure may have been not perfect but her face...man her face was more than just a beautiful excuse for that.

The shiny blue eyes throwing flahes at his face everytime she smiled. The brownish skin surrounded by her blone hair supported that with perfection.

Her lips were full and rosè .

"My name is Lt jnior Hailie Winters,sir."

"Sure, I won`t forget that." he grined form ear to ear. This day is definetly a turn in his week.

7 months later

"But Beverly...he is so differnt since this chick turned up." Deanna and Beverly Crusher were situated in a dark corner of Ten Forward. In front of them two big steaming cups of hot chocolate.

" Dea, he is a man, remeber that! Will is always fascinated by beautiful women." Beverly tried to calm her best friend. But Deanna was still upset. She has been upset since yesterday and she would not stop until Will would come to his senses again.

" Beverly, he is so in love with her that even I can feel it." The docter leaned back, curious:" What do you mean"even you"? I thought you are an empath and because of that bond you share you can sense Will better that any other person on this vessel."

" That is true but Will is very good at blocking me out and he has been doing this all the time. But not during the last two weeks."

"What do you mean? You saying he is conciously doing that to hurt you?"

" No! " Deanna gasped for air. " These emotions are just to strong to hide them."

"Oh, I see your point. But since he has been on this ship he hasn`t had a relationship lasting longer than...what...6 months?!"

Deanna eyes got wet and her view shaded." But this time it is...different."

Beverly took her into her arms and rubbed her back in comfort.

"Oh my, Dea. I think we have a heartache problem here." The only thing Deanna Troi could do was nodding her head. She couldn`t have found the strength to say something.

"Will , come on!" Hailie shouted out of the bathroom.

" Just a moment, Hail. I can`t get rid of my socks."

A light laughter reached his ears :" Oh stop making me giggle, my love."

Will walked to his bathroom and the door hissed open.

He took in the view with a devilous smlie:" I think.." He kissed her neck with light little kisses:" I am.." and went on until he reached her delicate lips:" in trouble..." and covered her mouth with his:" now."

She gladly leaned into his naked body , fully aware of her own nakedness and the effect on him:" Oh I belive that Mister."

Will groaned." God, you feel so good. I can`t remember what I ever did without you."

They slipped into the tube, filled with hot water. She gently stroked his back with a sponge :" Is that what you tell every women crossing your way?" He dramaticly put his hands on his hairy chest:" Me? No I am no ladies man."

" Of course you are not. From what I have heard you still could be a virgin."

He leaned back into her naked body and kissed her flesh:" So you have found out about my love life, huh?" She looked down at his chest and went on rubbing the sponge upon his body:" Well, I needed information about you." He raised an eyebrow:" Oh, and everybody was of course willing to telll you everything." She threw her head back and laughed:" Kind of, I paid them with gum, chocolate, drinks...you know all the stuff a lady needs when her heart had been broken."

He gently turned around, making sure he wouldn`t press her too much against the wall of the tube and leaned his head against hers:" Shall I tell you something, my love?"

She nodded while drinking in his sparkling blue eyes:" Yeah."

Will took all his brave he had togther, breathed heavy and said:"Maybe during the three years I am serving on this vessel I never had a relationship lasting longer than 6 months and yes I also call myself guilty of breaking a few hearts ..." Hailie would not let him finish:" A few?" He smiled:" Well, some dozen, anyway what I wanted to say...Since you crossed my way and we fell in love with each other...I feel...like I could never love another woman in my life." She blushed and kissed him passionated:" Oh Wills , this is so sweet of you. And let me tell you this. Never ever in my life I have felt such strong emotions towards a man as I am feeling towards you." He kissed her back and took her into his strong manly arms never noticing how much water slipped over the tube.

Captain Picrad leaned back holding a cup of Earl Grey in his hands:" Well, Beverly I am certainly not the man who would like to step into the personal business of my crew."

Beverly Crusher waved her arms in resignation:" Jean-Luc,...Capatin... Can`t you see how much Deanna is suffering?"

Picars looked at her steel blue eyes:" Yes I can see that. She is often late for a shift, her eyes are constantly reddish because of crying and every time Will turns up she has to struggle holding back new tears." He gasped for air and then continued his statement:" But,and let me make this clear, Will has a right of a relationship and I cannot and will not forbid him a relationship."

Beverly glanced at him:" I never asked for that. I only asked you to consider the opportunity of sending Lt. junior Winters away. It is no good for Deanna to see Will and her together."

Capatin Picard grabbed a crossaint:" With all due respect for Counsellor Troi AND you, I cannot believe how you are acting. We are all grown-ups."

Will kissed his sleeping girlfriend goodbye. She turned away from him never noticing the kiss. He smiled at her :"All right I let you have your sleep." and went out of his quarters to start his shift.

While pacing through the corridor he thought about Deanna.

It didn`t went unnoticed to him that she suffered because of him and Hailie. He always noticed the tears and the reddish eyes. He felt sorry for her and he felt angry towards him for making her suffer.

But then he also felt happy because of Hailie. She did so much for him. He always felt understood when he was with her. It was as if she would be the blonde Deanna. As if she would be some kind of an Imzadi. A soulmate from earth maybe.

Capter two

"This is Captain Picard from the USS Enterprise please answer our hailings!" Picard got nervous, he rarely got nervous but now he was. He looked at the planet and he was aware that if those people weren`t saved in 2 hours the sun would become a supernova and every body on the science station would die.

They had sensed lif signals but still their hailing stayed unanswered.

" Number One, prepare an away team and get down there, I want every body on the vessel in one and a half hour."

" Aye, sir." Will stood up and nodded towards Worf and Data to come with him.

" And Number One."

" Yes, Captain."

" Take care."

Will smiled:" aye sir."

Doctor Crusher took her medikit and went to Hailie:" Lt. junior I want you to stay here and be ready for medical emergencies." Hailie nodded fully concentrated:" Okay Doctor." Beverly let out a sigh:"

Good, that would be all."

Hailie turned toward her:" Take care." Beverly never looked into her eyes and went out without losing a word to the woman who ment so much pain for her best friend.

Hailie sat down at a biobed and shook her head , tears streaming down her face . Why would the Doctor be a pain in the ass? Since she has been together with Will Beverly Crsuher turned into Hailie`s worst nightmare.

She forced her to do things not even a nurse had to do, she never gave her responsibilty, she would always critizise her and the worst of all, she had a good reason.

Hailie knew about Will`s past with Deanna Troi and she also knew about the friendship of Beverly and Deanna.

"Ensign Tacker , make sure that the survivors will get to sickbay as fast as you can." Picars shifet in his chair and looked to his left :" Counsellor I want you to be at sickbay." He knew that Lt jun. Winters would be there but now it wasn`t the time to take care of personal business, life had to be saved.

" Aye, sir."

"Picard to Commander Riker"

" Riker here."

" How does it look? Did you find people?"

" Positive sir. We have found 3 people and they are ready to beam..."

Picard looked out int the open sky narrowing his eyes in horror:" Commander!" No answer" Number One!" He looked at Wesley Crusher, who flew with his fingers over the board and shook his head:"

Sir, I think something is wrong."

Picard tapped his communicater again:" Will!!"

Deanna screamed in pure horror:"NO!!!"

Hailie ran to her:" Counsellor? Is something wrong with you?"

Deanna looked through her:" i felt pain,so much pain,oh my god it was....it was Will!"

Her eyes watering from the experience, her lips shaking with every word she pressed out of her throat.

Finally she got aware of Hailie standing beside her. Her mouth was covered with one hand, the other one resting on Deanna`s shoulder, her eyes wide open in shock. Hailie mumbled under tears:" What happened?"

Deanna slipped into her counsellor role, without thinking about the pain of Hailies presence she touched her arm:" I don`t know. But he is still alive."

Hailie started shaking badly , her chest rising and falling fast. She hyperventilated and coughed.

Deanna got aware of the bad condition of her opponent:" Come on calm down, Lt junior Winters.....Hailie please calm down he is still alive."

Hailie`s wet eyes seemed to shine even more but the sparkle went out of her eyes totally:" Oh my god."

Will Riker had never felt so much pain in his entire life. His right leg was god knows how often broken. Everytime he tried to inhale air he felt an emense pain in his lungs piercing through his throat.

He tasted blood when he opened his mouth.

Beverly came running towards him:" Will can you hear me?" She took her tricorder immediatly and studied the readings. Will looked at her never able to speak. " Will, you are in a bad condition but we will fix it when we are on board again." She turned and waved Data to her:" Over here, I found him!"

Data came running:" How is he doctor?"

Beverly made sure Will couldn`t see her face when she looked at Data and whispered:" He is definetly in a very very bad condition. His lungs are torn. It is a wonder he still can breathe. His leg is broken, and so are his ribs and one arm. He has lost a lot of blood. We have to get him back, as fast as we can, or else." She never finished the sentence.

Data understood and tried to contact the Enterprise.

" ...problem and need help."

Picars rose out of his chair:" Data, we could not understand the begining please repeat!"

" Sir, Commander Riker is badly injured. We need to beam onboard We could rescue all of the members of the science team. They have a major problem and need help."

" Picrad to sickbay"

" Sickbay, here." Picrad was irritated that a male voice appeared but did not worry:" Please be ready for Commander Riker, he got badly injured."

"Aye,sir"

"Transporter room 3 beam Commander Riker directly to sickbay."

" Understood sir."

Lt Harrods stood still when he saw Riker lieing on the biobed.His face was covered with blood, bones sticked out of his right leg and his arm hung motionessly .

Deanna turned Hailie away who hadn`t recovered from the shock.

Beverly paced around the room trying everything to help her friend.

10 hours later

A hoarse whisper flew to her ear. When she looked down at him she met his eyes , he whispered again:" Hailie, I need Hailie."

Beverly leaned closer over him to make sure he could hear her:" Okay Will." He tried to smile but all he could do was narrowing his eyes in pain while trying.

Beverly went rhough the room and a door hissed open. She saw Hailie sitting in a chair. Her eyes showing her exhaust." He wants to see you." She said coldly:" All right." Hailie answered and went to the room in which he lay.

Beverly exchanged a glance with Deanna.

She stepped closer to him, finally touching his hand:" Hey you."

He looked at her beautifull face and whispered:" Hi."

She smiled at him and gently touched his lips with her free hand:" I am glad you are still here with me."

He nodded:" Me too."

" Will, I was so afraid. I thought you`d die." Her tears streaming down her cheeks:" Hey, please don`t cry. I am still here. I may be wounded as hell but still here."

Hailie`s head was close to his one, salty tears falling down on his lips and affecting a light pain.

He reached for her with all strength he had left and pressed a weak kiss upon her lips.Hailie opened her eyes :" I love you."

Will had only said these words once in his life. He remembered the person he said those words to. It was Deanna , the biggest everlasting love of his life. He never had been able to tell another women these words. Maybe it was because he never really loved them, or he was to afraid of the responsibility which was going along with these three words. But at this moment in sickbay he felt exactly what Hailie had just told him. He loved Hailie , he loved her more than life, adventure, exploration and jazz. Will couldn`t tell if he loved Hailie the same way as Deanna but he loved her.

" I love you, too Hailie Rose Winters."

Deanna heard Hailie saying those important three words to Will. She wasn`t able to understand Will`s words but from the reaction she observed from Hailie he must have said that ,too.

Deanna felt empty, totally empty. Only 10 hours ago she was thankful and happy that her Imzadi was alive. She forgot about Hailie being his girlfriend. It was just the two of them, both suffering for Will.

But now that he was back and commited to that girl, in a way he used to do at her when they had been to the Jalarian Jungle, she felt empty.

He always has helt ther relationship on board the Enterprise status quo and he never told her again that he loved her. How could he let those words slip so easily out of his mouth in front of this girl?

Is this the end of Imzadi?

Chapter three

"Come on Hail, it won`t be that bad. And besides ,where do you wanna hide? Will asked bemused.

" Well, I don`t know, at the holodeck or Ten Forward or..." Hailie asnwered

" Okay, okay. You could BUT you won`t. " Will told and then came closer.

" Because you would suck life out of my body if you would leave."and kissed her deeply.

She freed herself out of his arms:" Oh, really. Well, if you put it that way..."

Hailie came closer again, never leaving his glare.

She came to a halt right in front of him:"And what exactly do I get for staying here, watching a poker game with 6 people, of whom two definetly try to kill me?" She asked with a hoarse voice which made Will lose his senses.

" Oh, let me think that over.... mhm you could have a quick massage, or a kiss or.." He went down to kiss her and pressed her against the wall.

She let out a groan while he was pressing his body against her. Hailie`s hands rubbed his back gently, while kissing his neck and biteing his ears. Will cuped on of her breasts and masaged them until her nipple was erect.She mumbled words of pleasure towards him which made him going on with his sweet torture.

While exploring each other they both undressed themselves and finally Will lifted Hailie upon his hips.

She begged him to finally enter her.

The pressure in his body needed badly to be released or else he would implode.

When he entered her both let out a groan of pleasure. Will rocked her against the wall until the pressure became more and more intense:" Oh gods Will, please.....please" Hailie mumbled under loud groans.

After both have reached the climax Will released Hailie out of the lovers`embrace. Hailie still having problems with slowing down her pulse said:" I ...think your poker friends...will.. arrive soon." Will smiled satisfied and gently stroked back the lose hair:" Mhm, we should get ready, then."

She nodded, still exhausted.

4 months later

Deanna sat at the couch and slowly looked around in the room. her eyes narrowed and she went over to a bookshelf. That was clearly nothing of Will`s stuff. Carefully she observed the books, a lot of love stories and some action stories. Still, Deanna couldn`t help but wonder how fast Hailie had moved in here and how fast Will accpeted her as a roommate.

Deanna really began to wonder about how deep her and Will`s love had went. Hailie must be a very special person to get so close to Will, even closer than she had been.

"Well, Dea, what was it you wanted to talk about?" Deanna turned around to see herself staring at Will. His muscular body was wrapped into shorts and a t-shirt. His hair was still wet from showering and he had some waterpearls hanging on his gair. They shimmered in the light of a plaent they were observing.

"Dea?" Will asked confused.

"Yes, I..I wanted to talk about us." Deanna struggled with herself to finally spill out the words.

During the last months she had suffered a lot, she want from not understanding, to the feeling of deep hurt and rejectness and then finally accepted that other women could atract Will. But before she could go on with her life, she wanted to know what made Hailie special.

"Us?" Will repeated still not knowing where this conversation would lead to.

"Will, I had suffered a lot because of you and your relatinship. And now I am able to accept it. But I need to know why Hailie is so specail, why you would let her into your heart.........instead of me."

Will had taken a seat. Her brown eyes never leaving his face when he thought about the question.

"Dea, you are my Imzadi. And I will never ever forget that.

But to be honest, "Imzadi" was something that was special to your culture, not to mine. I had become your Imzadi because you are a Betazoid.

And on earth we have soulmates, a person who is your one half."

Deanna protested calmly:" But that is exactly what "Imzadi" means."

Will smiled and took her hand:" Yes but it was meant for you and all the other Betazoids. What if I finally found my soulmate?"

Deanna looked down at her hand in his:" Is Hailie your soulmate?"

Will shook his head:" I don`t know. What I know is that I don`t feel complet without her. I honestly feel totally lost."

Deanna nodded:" I understand."

But Will went on:" When I first met her I thought she would be a nice substitude for you. It was right after our dispute.

But when I got to know her , I could see how wonderful she is. She is so breathtaking."

DEanna wanted to leave. She felt a lot of anger and dissapointment rolling up along her throat ready to kick out:" I understand, I think I need to go now."

"Okay."Will said.

Deanna couldn`t resist but ask for her last wish:" Will, would you please kiss me the way you did when we were in love? Only one last time?" she asked with tears in her eyes.

Will had to struggle with himself. On one hand he wanted to fulfil Deanna`s last wish, he oweded her that, but then there was Hailie.

He finally gently pushed her chin up and kissed her.

At that moment the door hissed open. Hailie stood in the room, completely schocked, not able to say or do anything.

Deanna was the first one to notice her. She quickly dragged herself from Will. And then Will saw Hailie. There eyes met and his schock met with her hruting, tearful blue eyes, shaking her head she said:" What have you done, Will?"

"Hail, I..it was Deanna`s last wish." Will studdered.

Deanna kept quiet and after a long pause she finally announced:" I think I leave now."

Hailie turned towards her:" No, stay. I will leave." And turned around.

Will sank into the couch:" Oh shit!2 he sweared. Deanna left him, without saying a word. She felt ashamed and worried. She had sensed something inside of Hailie that was more than just dissapointment.

When Will sat alone in his bedroom, chnaging for the night, he felt like shit. For the first time in months the left side of the bed would stay empty. And everything just because of one tiny mistake he did.

Deanna wanted one last kiss and he offered it to her , even while thinking about how wrong it was.
He stripped down his shirt and lay back. The bed was way to large for him alone. No warm body leaning against him. No one to speak to him. No one he could carress. No Hailie.

Haile stayed over night at a ensign she knew from sickbay. She had offered her the bed when she heard about what had happened.

Hailie was still in shock.

How could Will have done that to her? Kissing her worst enemy. After reassuring her that Deanna would be nothing than a good friend to him, after begging her to believe him, after all those months, after finally telling her that he loved her.

How could he dare to do somehting so evil? How could he betray her in the worst way?

Deanna sat together with Beverly. Beverly`s face never hiding her smile:" Well, I am truly sorry for Hailie, but it looks like he still loves you. From what you`ve told me baout the kiss."

Deanna couldn`t smile:" Bev, I really don`t wanna speak about wheter Will loves me or not."

Beverly took her hands in defence:" Okay, so what is bothering you?"

Deanna slipped her hat chocolate:" You know, when I saw Hailie there was a feeling.. I cannot identify..but it was so much pain and betrayal and dissapointment."

"Well, honestly how would you feel if you`d catch your guy with your worst enemy?" Beverly asked.
" Yes, but it was something else...more."

Chapter 3

Hailie walked into sickbay, her face pale and her eyes reddish from crying. Her hair was hanging loose around her face. Her eyes daed inside.

Beverly now was concerend , since Hailie had caught Will and Deanna she became more pale every day. She had lost a lot of wieght. Actually, more wight than healthy.

Hailie started checking her patiens, motionless she signed padds and asked how they felt.

Bevely walked over to her:" Lt. jun. Winters, may I speak with you for a minute?"

Hailie didn`t care anymore what Beverly Crusher thought about her. It wasn`t important if she tried to defend her best friend, or not.

"Of course." she told Beverly.

The red-haired walked towards her office and sat in her comfortable chair :" Miss Winters, I have occupied you during the last days..and I reckoned that you are not as involved as you should be." Her sharp tone was piercing through Hailie`s soul. Another ship she had to flee from....and again it was a man ..who.. and then her thoughts stopped wandereing in her head. The emense pain which was brought up with those thoughts was more than Hailie could handle.

" I apologize, Doctor Crusher. I will take care about that." was Hailie`s profesionell answer.

Beverly leaned closer to her:" Listen Miss Winters, I know that Commander Riker and you...well broke up. And this may be hard for you and I understand that..but your carreer should not interfere with that.

Deanna stood outside of Will`s quarters. She had already rang the bell for three times. She could sense that Will was in there and she knew that he didn`t want to see people. But her instinct told her to talk to him. After long discussions she finally entered the code, she had received from Will and went in.

The room was semi-dark.

Deanna could see a lot of boxes standing around. The spot where the bookshelf had stood was empty.

" Hail has taken away her stuff when I was on duty." a deep voice answered her questioning face.

" I see. Actually I wanted to apologize for what has happened and I...wanted to see how you are."

Deanna said in a professionell tone.

Will shook his head and slammed his hand against the nearby wall :" I am fine, Deanna."

Because of his body language Deanna noticed that he wasn`t fine. She could also sense the deep hurt and the true suffer.

" Will you do not have to play a role for me, it`s just me, Deanna."

Will wanted to shout that he didn`t want her , that he wanted Hailie...but he didn`t.

" I know." was all he could say.

"Do you want to talk about what has happened?" she sheepishly asked, afraid of his answer.

" No." Will said in a sharp tone.

He sat down again, taking a glass of vodka in his hand:" I hurt her, Deanna. It seems as if I would aslways hurt the people I love most. First I hurt you and then Hail."

Deanna sat down,too:" Will it was my fault, I asked you to kiss me. You did because..." And then she trailed of, she didn`t know why he had done it.

"Why have you done it, Will?"

Will`s head turned towards the slim brunette:" I wanted to make you smile again. I knew that you have heard a lot bad stuff from me. I mean, I told you I love Hailie."

Deanna thought about that. She remembered what Beverly has told her. Now there was the chance to win Will back. Of course she felt sorry for Hailie but took it as a stroke of fate. How often did destiny help the two of them. They were ment for each other.

She slowly positioned next to Riker and put an arm around his neck:" I know it hurts a lot."

Will took Deannas offer and let his head fall against hers for comfort:" I am too stupid with women. I can flirt with them, make love to them but when it comes to commitment and faith,I am a total looser."

"Shh, Will."she calmed him down.

Hailie sat in her quarters. She was wearing her favorite pants, they were washed out because she had kept them for too many years. The last time she had worn them was before she had left the USS Livingston.

The time had been hard, nearly unbearable. The only place she could hide was her quarters and these pants and a large shirt from her first boyfriend Glance.

Hailie thought about Will. She remebered their first date. She remembered how vividly he talked about serving under Captain Picard and how his eyes had shined.

She remembered how his eyes turned dark blue when he spoke about his mother.

How his nice handsome laughter had turned into a sad smile.

She remebered their first night together, how she started shaking when he touched her and how he had calmed her and then they only lay there.

Hailie took her cup of coffee and drank.

The warmth surrounded her body immediatly.

2 weeks later.....

Deanna frowned when she sensed Hailie`s emotions. During the 2 weeks she had spent a lot time with Will. They went to the holodeck for skiing or hunting or fishing. She even talked him into horse riding.
Deanna had done a lot to make Will not think about Hailie. Beverly had kept Hailie busy so that she wouldn`t have to think about Will, either.

But now Deanna could sense how Hailie struggled with a decision.

"Counsellor Troi to Lt. jun. Winters"

" Yes, Counsellor." the sharp voice made clear that Hailie wished no contact.

" I would like to talk to you."

" Does it have something to do with work?"

"yes" lied Deanna.

" I will be with you in a couple of minutes."

Hailie clenched her teeths togtether. The day didn`t start very good.

When she entered the counsellor`s office, Deanna smiled:" Hello Miss Winters."

Hailie sat down and greeded without any effort to show her hatred.

" Mis Winters, Hailie, I could sense you are struggling with a decision."

" That is non of your business, counsellor."Hailie hissed.

Deanna continued:" I could also sense that you felt more than only pain when you and Will split up."
Now Hailie was angry:" What the heck do you want from me?" she screamed.

" Isn`t it enough that you made me lose my boyfriend and let your best firend watch me and count the mistakes I am making?"

Deanna was shocked how many hatret slammed against her. Hailie wasn`t only angry, she was furious and she felt a certain bitternes in her soul.

" I am here, as a counsellor. Will and me, we are only friends, he refused to start a relationship with me again. The kiss was a last kiss. He did that to make me smile again, after he had told me how much you ment to him."

" Yeah, right.Listen, woman, I have suffered enough to go though this again. I do not care about your little games you play with Will, I don`t care any more. I asked the Captain to get me onto another vessel."

Deanna`s eyes widened:" Why? only because of personal difficulties? Thet is not very professionell of you."

Hailie`s hand slammed against the table:"You know what, if you would have gone thru what I have you would never ever talk about apprpriate behavior of an Starfleet officer anymore, and you know why? Because no Starfleet ever behaved like this!"

And then tears streamed down her face:" Wills, was the only one who behaved appropriate until you came along. He promised me something and you destroyed everything!"

And then she ran out of the office.....

"I cannot believe this!" Beverly shook her head in disgust. "That is soo awful!"

" I know. And I am so sorry for behaving so stupid. I mean I wanted to have Will back baecause I was jealous and now I know what I had done. I have taken away her only source of strengh."

Beverly caressed her friend:" You know, it`s also my fault, Since the day you told me about her and Will I made her feel how I disliked that relationship and her."

Will sat down, he had heard about the talk between Hailie and Deanna. But he was too afraid to ask Hailie how she felt. After they had split up they never ever talked again. He was too afraid of saying something wrong. He only had sent her a message that her secret would be safe with him and that he would always love her. She never wrote back.

" You wanted to see me." he announced and looked from Bev to Dea and back.

Deanna began:" Yes,I have told you about my talk with Hailie and after my talk I contacted the ship`s counsellor from the USS Livingston."

Will sat back his hands in his face:" No!. You shouldn`t have done that."

Deanna went on:" He told me about the......rape."

Will`s eyes turned into ark blue:" The rape or the rapes?" he asked.

Deanna looked from Will to Beverly, whose eyes widened in horror:" You mean more than one time?"

Will laughed bitterly:" More than one? Gods, Hailie was the Captains favorite toy for 3 months, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, what do you think how often he did that?" he whispered.

Deanna`s hand went to her mouth to cover a scream.

Hailie packed her boxes, she took out an teddy bear. Will had gave it to her for birthday, he had said the bear would protect her when he wouldn`t be with her.

She held it close to her heart and pressed it against her skin.

"Capatian Picard to Lt, jun. Winters"

"Yes , sir."Hailie tapped her communicator.

" Would you join me in the observation lounge,please?"

"Of course, sir."

Hailie took the bear back into the box and started her way towards the turbolift.

in the observation lounge...

Cpt. Picard sat in his chair, his face was pale.

" Counsellor, if it is true what you have told me, we have to send it to Starfleet, Cpt. Morrow isn`t allowed to serve anymore."

Deanna sat nearby the Capatian:" That`s why I alarmed you."

" I thought during the centuries of development we would have learned about abusing people. I thought men would finally have learned that treating women like that is the most horrible thing in the world.."

Picard shook his head.

When Hailie entered she wasn`t sure about what to think about the situation she saw. Counsellor Troi was sitting near the capatain. The Cpt. stood in front of his chair. His face was pale and he looked serious.

"Miss Winters, please sit down."he said softly.

Hailie followed his order.

" I am sorry that you have to find out about that this way but the counsellor and I thought it would be the best if we would tell you in private."he paused.

" Counseloor Troi had talked with Mr. Cheety , your counsellor onboard the USS Livingston and she found out about your....sitauation onboard."

Hailie`s eyes widened in horror.

Picard put a hand in front of him:" We absolutly believe you. And I have to say I find it disgusting and horrorbile what had happened to you."

Deanna spoke:" We want to help you. Cpt. Morrow has to be banned from Starfleet, he has to be punished for what he has done."

Hailie shook her head:" I don`t understand.I never wanted this to be official. I wanted to have my privacy."

Deanna tried to touch Hailie`s arm for comfort, but she refused:" NO!"

That`s when Will walked in.

"Hailie, I told Deanna about what had happened to you ....and how often." his voice was hardly above a whisper.

Hailie`s eyes got wet. She felt like somebody had punshed her hard into her stomach. She felt as if they would like to emberass her. She felt soo betrayed.

Her mouth felt way to dry to speak and she nearly coughed to catch her breath.

Captain Picard understood the signals Hailie was sending:" We only want to help you. We want to prevent that this will happen to other members of the crew."

Will felt Hailie`s percing blue eyes and he knew he wouldn`t stand them for long. Not after what has happened. He knew she felt lost.

He moved one step closer to her chair:" I am here to support you. I didn`t want to let you go alone through all of this."

" You cannot force me to tell something." It was the first time Hailie had spoken. Her voice was hoarse and cracky.

Picard watched the scene in front of him. He felt sorry for the young woman and he felt sorry for Will because he could see how his heart broke in slow motion.

"No, we cannot." Deanna tried again to change her mind:" But you can help others."

Hailie looked like a hunted animal. Then she thought about what had happened to her, how she had tu suffer, no she wouldn`t want another one to experience this. But she was afraid, afraid that everything will come out with a force she couldn`t bear.

" That`s why Will is here. He will help you finding the strength you need to go through this." Deanna answered her silent questions.

"Can I talk to Will for a moment?" Picard smiled:" Of course, just call when you are ready."

When Deanna and Picard had left the room, Hailie touched Will`s hand lightly. She put her smaller hand into his. Will`s eyes watched her. He didn´t dare to say somehting. He didn`t wanna interfere and stop the physical contact with his beloved one.

Very slowly Hailie came closer. She then touched his cheek and carefully leaned inton his body. No word was spaoken while she went closer. When she lifted up her head, their faces were only inches away.

And then she started shaking, shaking so badly that it drew all of Will`s strength away. She cried and cried, she ven screamed because of the force of the pictures coming to surface.

Hailie could feel again the hurt, the shame, the torture.

Will only held her body. After the screams stopped he gently spoke to her:" I know I ruined everything, but let me help you now. Let me hold you, make you feel safe."

Hailie answered by leaning closer into him. He picked her uo and sat down, taking her into his lap, gently removing her face from parts of her hair and drying the tears.

When Hailie found her speech again, there was only one sentence:" I still love you Will."

Will carfully kissed her forehead:" I will always love you, Hailie."

P.S. Cpt. Morrow was punished for raping Hailie Rose Winters.

He had to quit service at Starfleet and is now living in a prisoner colony on Marvis Five.

Hailie Winters stayed at the Enterprise and moved again into Will`s quarters.

Deanna and Beverly made peace with Hailie.

After a couple of months Deanna finally accepted the relationship of Hailie and Will and started dating Worf.

Explaination: I have choosen the topic of rape not to scare you, but to make you see how awful and horrorbile this is. How much the women have to suffer even though they only are victims of brutal men.

Please do not forget that all over the world women are used only as sexual objects, even by their own families.

End