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deadestiny@yahoo.com

If Only

I don’t know how to love you

How I should hold you

We’ve been friends for so long

And I don’t know where we’ve gone wrong

All I know is that

Things have changed between us

The comfortable friendship has turned deadly

And I can’t continue,

even though I want to so badly

I need your arms around me,

Holding me where I should be

With you,

With you in my mind

With you in my soul

With you in my life

For now and forever.

Only you’re not ready

And I’m beginning to doubt you’ll ever be.

You have no idea for the longing I feel,

For the dreams I have, night after night

How badly I wish things would become right

If only you knew,

If only you could see how badly I want us to heal

Together as one.

Why can’t you see?

Why can’t I hold you like I should?

Why won’t you love me

Like I love you?

If only we could be together

If only the hurting would stop

And the barriers could be dropped

I know what I said so long ago

And what that decision cost us,

But I’m telling you now,

From the bottom of my heart

That I will vow

Today and tomorrow

And the day thereafter

Through tears and through laughter

That my heart, my soul,

That my very being belongs to you.

Today, tomorrow, broken and whole.

If only you felt it too.