"And These Are My Friends----"
Deanna
Troi lowered her book and let out a long sigh.
It had been quite a week. Three
family crises, two
promotion
evaluations, a major supervisor problem, and, Troi fingered her collar --- I
am now a full
commander,
and a real, certified bridge officer.
Normally,
she enjoyed getting out of her uniform and into something lighter and looser
as soon as she got
off
duty, but this week was different. Somehow,
she wanted to stay in uniform, so, Troi laughed, if a
Romulan
attack started and she had to Captain the ship, at least she'd look the part.
Troi
was just settling back into the pages of her current ancient western when the
door chimed.
"Come!"
"No,
no, no. You come to the
door" Troi heard both the
words and the laughter in her head.
Enjoying
the moment, she sent back "Why should I?"
"I've
got chocolate."
"Well,
Will, why didn't you say so?" Troi
rolled off the couch and headed for the door.
When
the doors separated, she was confronted with not only a grinning Will Riker,
but LaForge, Crusher,
Worf,
and Data. The humans were
snickering, Worf was as close as he ever came to a smile, and Data was,
well,
busy observing.
Riker
stuffed a bundle of white cloth at her. "Here,
put this on."
Troi
was caught a bit off guard. "Would
someone mind telling me what is going on?"
Riker
just kept grinning. "I said,
put this on. We're taking you to
the holodek."
Troi
stood her ground. "I repeat,
would someone mind telling me what is going on?"
"Get
dressed, Deanna" Crusher taunted. "There's
a party on the holodek, and you're the guest of honor."
Troi
unravelled the bundle. It was
some sort of long, white, flowing robe. "And
I have to wear this?"
"Get
changed now, or I'll do it for you" Riker returned.
Troi
pulled herself up to her full height, and answered in the most formal tone she
could muster "Given a
choice,
Commander, I'll change myself."
As
soon as she disappeared back into her quarters, the mob in the hall broke into
excited chatter. "Great,
great,"
LaForge bubbled "she doesn't have any idea what's going happen."
Data
continued to observe the interaction. "Geordi,
what is the purpose of such ceremonies? My
research
indicates
that such rituals extend back to ‑‑‑"
"The
purpose," LaForge explained "is to have fun.
And to congratulate an officer on a new promotion."
"Will,
Worf, did you get the program set up? I
mean, is it authentic? Will it
look right?" Crusher queried.
Worf
rumbled his reply. "I assure
you, doctor, the setting is suitable. We
have programmed an arena,
seating,
and large terran felines."
"Not
to mention a throne for the Emperor!"
Riker chuckled.
"Speaking
of "The Emperor"" LaForge asked, "Where is he?"
"He
said he'd meet us at holodek two" Crusher assured.
"Don't worry, he'll show. I
threatened him
sufficiently.
He'll show."
At
that point, Troi reappeared, and the noisy group began herding the somewhat
puzzled counselor down
the
corridor.
xxxxx
Riker
snickered as he spotted the captain waiting at the holodek doors.
Oh, it's good for him, Riker mused.
He
needs to relax and enjoy himself more.
"Jean‑Luc"
Crusher said sweetly "Is the Emperor ready to preside over the
ceremonies?"
Troi
shuddered and shook her head. "The
Emperor?"
"I
assure you all, I am ready to assume my duties."
Picard stated formally. "And
the prisoner appears to be
prepared."
Troi
took two steps back, but Riker caught her arm.
"Prisoner?" she tentatively asked.
"Yes,
prisoner." Worf replied.
"Prepare to meet with justice."
Troi
gasped as the holodek opened. The
setting was unmistakable to anyone who had studied earth history.
It was a coliseum, straight out of ancient Rome, complete with an
Emperor's throne, balcony seating over the main arena, and, down on the
stadium floor, there were, --- my God, Troi realized, LIONS?
Picard
settled into the "throne". "Bring
the prisoner forward!"
Crusher
and LaForge each grabbed an arm and turned her to face Picard.
Troi
was starting to laugh. Okay, this
was it. They were rewarding her
for her promotion. Most of the
time,
these
ceremonies involved a routine on an old sailing ship.
Apparently, they had decided on something
different
for her. Well, she chuckled,
relax and enjoy it.
"Emperor"
Picard began "Number One, please read the charges against the
prisoner."
Riker
produced a long, parchment‑like scroll.
"We, your friends and comrades, do hereby charge with the
following
crimes, both overt and heinous: You
have performed far above the call of duty on numerous
occasions.
You have been a constant source of wisdom and emotional support for the
entire crew. You
have
acted with great courage. Recently,
you have overstepped the previous bounds of your duties and
experience
and become a certified bridge officer."
Riker looked up from the scroll and grinned.
"And you
have
committed the most serious wrong of all --- being the best friend anyone could
ever have."
"How
do you answer these charges?" Picard demanded.
"I-I
don't know" Troi was laughing so hard she could barely speak.
"Number
One, add disrespect to the list of crimes.
And prepare the prisoner for the lions!"
LaForge
produced a length of rope. "Since
I'm the one you "killed" to get this promotion, I get to tie you
up."
Troi
wrinkled her nose and pointed at the rope.
"Is that really necessary?"
"Counselor,
I suggest you cooperate" Worf
warned ominously.
Still
grinning ear to ear, LaForge finished wrapping the rope around Deanna's middle
and secured her hands loosely behind her back.
Dead-pan,
Picard ordered her "Prisoner, prepare to meet your god."
The
lions began to pace and twitch hungrily.
"And,
since I had to put up with you while you taking that bridge exam," Riker
snickered "I get to toss you in."
He
scooped up the counselor and held her over the railing that marked the balcony's
edge.
Troi
knew it was all a joke, but she couldn't block fear totally out of her mind. Riker was holding her over a
six
meter drop, and those lions did look pretty hungry.
With her hands tied, she couldn't grab onto him, or
punch
him the nose either, for that matter.
"ONE!"
Riker swung her out over the railing.
Troi screeched. The other humanoids chuckled.
"TWO!"
Another swing, more screaming, more laughter.
At
that moment, Troi heard Crusher yell "Computer, change program, to Riker
number forty-four!"
"THREE!"
Her ropes disappeared, and Riker let go, sending her shrieking over the
railing, and plunging to
certain
doom.
SPLASH!
Troi hit the water butt first, and when she got herself back to the
surface, she saw that the arena
had
been transformed to what she guessed was a Roman public bath, except that she
had it all to herself.
Crusher
giggled at the soaked, toga-wrapped woman in the pool.
"Nice hairdo, Deanna! Mott
must have
worked
overtime on that one!"
Worf
licked his lips. "Betazoids
like water, I'm told. We hope you
appreciate the setting for your party."
LaForge
just kept on laughing. Data just
kept on observing.
Riker
could hardly stand it. Tears ran
down his face. "Worf's right,
Imzadi, you always liked a good swim."
Picard
said nothing. He simply leaned over
the railing and waved a taunting hello.
Well,
Troi thought, treading water and letting her robe float out around her, it could
be worse. I could have
REALLY
been thrown to the lions. Or, I
could have missed out on having friends like these people.
Troi
smacked the water in front of her in a futile attempt to splash the spectators
high above on the balcony.
"You're
all dead! I'll get every one of
you! When you least expect it!
You're dead!"
Deanna
Troi's colleagues and friends continued to laugh, hooting and whistling as she
flapped in the pool
below.
xxxxxxxxx