Waking Up

By: Gwen

Rating: PG
Codes: R/T

Disclaimer: It all belongs
to Paramount and Star Trek. I am simply borrowing
for fun not profit.

Authors notes:
This is the story I first wanted to write. It's a
song fic, yes. :) The first time I heard this song I
thought of Imzadi for some reason (and I heard it on
the radio, though I work at a movie theater I never
actually watched "DareDevil"). It took me a while to
get it down on paper though. This is written in first
person, multiple POV. Set – after "Insurrection".
Okay, enough babbling – hope you enjoy. Feedback is
adored as always.

Oh one last thing - song lyrics are set off by ***

"Waking up"

I didn't know until he kissed me again. I mean really
kissed me. I had thought that I had moved past it,
that we were friends, nothing more. I knew I still
had strong feelings about him of course, but not so
significant that it mattered. After all we had
matured past those young kids we once were. And I was
no longer so innocent. But I had forgotten what he
could do to my soul.

***How can you see into my eyes
like open doors.
Leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb.
Without a soul
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home.***

I fell in love the day I saw her. I am sure of this.
And we connected - for one brief moment until I let
pride, ambition and fear get in the way. I lost
something inside then and when we found each other
again... But she said not while serving together... We
can only be friends. I agreed with her. With a few
exceptions over the years. But recently... I've
started to remember.

***Now that I know what I'm without
you can't just leave me.
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life.***

I tried. We both tried I guess. To move on. To meet
new people. Sample life. Fall in love. I got close.
Maybe we both did. I even forgot for a time what it
was like to be that connected to someone. Which was
part of the problem. He had been my first taste of
love, and it was total. I couldn't settle for less,
so I settled for nothing. Because I couldn't have
total. That walked out when he did. When he captured
my heart and soul; broke my heart - and took my soul
with him.

*** Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.
Bring me to life.

Frozen inside without your touch,
without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead. ***

I spent years chasing something undefined. Countless
women, countless risk. Thinking I was looking
forward; though I turned down every chance. Every
offer of what I thought I was after. And she… she
became my best friend. Total. The only person to
ever really see me. And I forgot. Or tried. What we
were to each other. In another lifetime it seemed.
Wondering why I was still here. There were times I
wanted it to be different. There was a time I had
thought I could find love elsewhere. Until Baku
brought the past back and I wasn't able to push it
away.

***All of this sight
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me ***

I have been in love with him from the moment we met.
I don't think he even realizes that. I didn't – not
for a long time. After Worf, I finally let myself
realize that I could never love anyone but him. On
Baku I let myself feel it. I flirted, I teased. I
don't know if I even knew what I expected from it all,
or what I wanted. Only that something was happening
and that finally - maybe I was allowing it to.

***I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything.***

"Let my feelings out for some fresh air" That's a
good way of putting it. She flirted and I just fell –
hard. If I were honest with myself there had never
been anyone but her. These past few years I had begun
to live that. And now. I kissed her and … Time just
stopped.

***Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.

Bring me to life***

The end

Full song lyrics:

"Evanescence - Bring Me To Life"

From the album "Daredevil Soundtrack"
How can you see into my eyes
like open doors.
Leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb.
Without a soul
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home.

(Wake me up.
Wake me up inside.
I can't wake up.
Wake me up inside.
Save me.
Call my name and save me from the dark.
Wake me up.
Bid my blood to run.
I can't wake up.
Before I come undone.
Save me.
Save me from the nothing I've become.)

Now that I know what I'm without
you can't just leave me.
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life.

[Chorus]

Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.
Bring me to life.

Frozen inside without your touch,
without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead.

All of this sight
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me

I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything.

Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul

Don't let me die here
There must be something wrong.
Bring me to life.

[Chorus]

Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.

Bring me to life