What Do You Do?

By: Gwen

Rating: PG
Codes: T(R/T implied)

Disclaimer: not mine, never will be

Author's notes: writing is cathartic to me and so the
following. Though it applies very much to my own
life, it also fits imzadi in a way. One warning
though, this is not a happy one. Feedback would be
greatly appreciated however...

What do you do?

What do you do, what is the right course of action
When everyone has answers but leave you with nothing
but questions
When your heart can be shattered in the blink of an
eye
And leaves you with no where to turn

How does anything ever make sense again,
How do you know that what you thought you were living,

could have been nothing more than a dream,
A lie you've convinced yourself of to spare the pain

What do you do when you just want to be held
And have someone tell you that everything is going to
be all right again,
that somehow the pain will go away,
because you know you don't deserve any of it,
though no hope for the future remains,
because you gave the best you had away,
And are still left alone in the end.
How now - when you have nothing to give,
could anything good ever be created.

What do you do when the person,
you want so much to talk to, to cry to, to run to,
is the same person who is breaking your heart
How do you ever deal with lsoing
your best friend at the same time as your love.

What do you do when you want to tell them about this
awful day you've had,
How you can't stop crying, and every new thought
brings new pain
How do you begin to understand, how someone can say
they love you
only to turn it around 2 days later
And why if they truly ever loved you - why they aren't
crying too
When you so desperatly want ot figure out,
what you could have done, could have said
to save yourself, or if you will ever feel safe again

How do you deal with knowing that you might be alone
forever,
that this could have been your once in a lifetime
What do you do when letting go is the hardest test,
even if they are never to return to you.

Gwen Slaughter
12/14/03