She wanted to scream...and break things...and throw a temper-tantrum like
a spoiled child. He was the only one that had ever made her feel this way, and
that frightened her more than the feeling itself.
She crossed the room and in lieu of destroying her crystal opted to destroy her record three days of no chocolate instead. She let the sweetness envelop her; soothe her and calm her...calm her; funny how this, of all things, had always centered her more then all her mental practicing ever had.
Well," she thought, "That and a hot bubble bath." She dropped
the spoon into the now empty dish, enjoying the tiny tinkling it made as it
came to rest in what had been a very sinful bowl of chocolate ice-cream with
chocolate and marshmallow sauce.
"Oh well," she thought, "It's not the first mistake I've made today. Or the only thing I'll have to pay for tomorrow."
Now for a bath; to relax, she reasoned.
"I have to be ready for later." Her mind wandered as she ran the water, letting the steam fill the room.
She let the water caress her; more comforting than her lover's embrace, but still not quite as pleasurable. She laughed out loud at the thought, a wry, sad laugh. Funny how things were so clear when she was like this; it felt like being on the verge between madness and sanity.
"Best not to dwell to deeply, lest you find your closer to the former then the latter," she whispered to herself.
Hours later she listened as Worf's breathing slowed and softened as he fell asleep; and she turned away from him, inching a little closer to the edge of her bed and sighed. Closing her eyes she reflected on how impossible things had become and knowing there would be no balance this night.
As she fell asleep she did something she hadn't done in what seemed like forever; she sent to him.
"Do you dream of me?"
And in the darkness of Will Riker's quarters, he whispered, "Always, Deanna."
At that same moment Worf thought, "Gods, I HATE this time of the month!" and went back to sleep.