A little droozy drabble

By jester_ali18@hotmail.com

(Having a sentence in my head all day long I decided to make a drabble
during class. While my teacher was babbling I wrote this little
drabble from Will Riker's mind.)

As I am living here right now this is going nowhere. In these
quarters there is nothing to do, nothing to watch nor to hear
anything except for my breathing.

I am waiting for someone, but that person is not coming. I know that
deep in my heart but still I am hoping which I have every right to do.

Sitting here on my cushioned couch, holding a glass of whiskey and
nearby on the table a bottle of whiskey, almost empty offcourse as I
want to drown myself.

Will she come? If she wants she can sense my thoughts. My mind is
totally open for her alone. her caress is so gentle when she reads my
mind, but that is in the past. If I close my eyes I almost can feel
her again in my head, her laughter when she finds something amusing.

Her laughter.....I can't put her smile out of my mind. It was....no
it is still a very special one. Her laugh starts in her eyes, her
black eyes glitter a little and then her smile goes down into her
mouth. Her laughter sounds like a breeze in a summernight.

Still she doesn't come. I need her, I want her. My mind screams for

Finishing my drink, another night without her.

When will she come?

A little droozy drabble second little chapter.

I survived another day and a very long shift. I thought it never ended.

It felt that every person who was on the bridge was looking at me as if they
knew how I am feeling inside, how my soul is aching for the person that I

What a relieve it was for me that I could call that the shift was ended for
the alpha shift. I was on that shift as was she.

She took her time to get out of her seat. Walking to the turbolift took even
longer. It was almost as if someone used a remote to let everyone walk very
slowly. My mind was playing tricks on me.

Also an enormous headache was teasing me. The whiskey did that and tonight
it would probably be another bottle of whiskey.

Moving out of my seat to enter the turbolift next to her. She gives me a
quickly glance before looking at her padd which she is holding. Her perfume
smells incredible. Closing my eyes to inhale it and treasure the moment that
I am standing next to her.

While the lift is moving to deck eight there is no word spoken to each
other. Perhaps for the best.

The lift stops and I am letting her out first. She is giving me one of her
best smiles when she exits the lift. Beeing very kind she waits for me so we
walk together to our quarters which lay next to each other. I still believe
that it was faith that our rooms are next to each other.

We aren’t walking that fast but my heart beats so fast that I am scared that
it will pop out of my chest at any moment.

While she stops at her door I keep moving to my quarters and say goodnight.
Usually she replies with goodnight as well but today would go different.

A little droozy drabble third part

She is asking me if I would like to join her for a late night dinner.

My eyes close to just save this very moment…

She is asking me. For days…no weeks I am waiting for her to ask me to join
her but that never came until this moment. Is today a special day? Am I
forgetting something? Dear God, I hope not.

My mind is going way to fast and before I have anything to say into this my
mouth speaks his own mind by saying “No thank you, it’s already late and I
am pretty tired.”

Oh my, that must have sound like one of the lamest excuse in history, but
taking it back now would be to late. So I just smile faintly and turn around
to go to my quarters leaving a confused Deanna Troi behind.

Coming in my safe quarters I wait until the doors closes itself before
yelling NO! so hard that I think the glass vaze that was standing on the
table would break but it didn’t.

Letting myself drop onto the floor, leaning to the wall with my back I ask
myself why I did that, saying no to her. I spent countless of nights alone
here in these pathetic quarters waiting for her to ask me, and now that she
did I turn her down.

Then my mind goes back to the moment I say no to her in the corridor. I felt
a tingle in the back of my mind while I made the “excuse”. That was her, she
was trying to “get in my head”. Trying to figure out why I said no to her
because I know she knows that my mind screams for her.

I’m scared.

Perhaps for the first time in my life I am scared for a woman, but not some
woman. A special woman. She is my Imzadi. I had the privilege to touch her
soul for the first time and she mine.

Losing her broke my heart into pieces. It took me almost 14 years to get it
healed again. I am afraid that I have to go through that again for the
desame woman as in the past.

I thought I was ready for her but I guess not….

A little droozy drabble part four:

Four months later:

It’s almost Deanna’s birthday. Another 4 days to go. To make the perfect day
I decide to throw a party for her. Beverly is helping me to get everything
in motion.

To keep it a secret for Deanna is harder then I ever thought.

On her birthday we are at desame time at the bridge. I am trying to make
small talk without giving away that there is a party under the way as soon
as this shift ends.

At this time when we both are here on the bridge, Beverly is making the
final touches in my quarters. At first I  wanted a big party with all her
friends but Beverly talked me out of it and made the decision to make a
private little party for just Deanna and I.

The shift cannot go fast enough for me. My right foot can’t stop moving
while I sit on my chair and I can see that the Captain is getting annoyed. I
can’t help myself, this is a very nerve recking day for me. Today I am going
to face my fear. A whole night alone with Deanna, having dinner in my own

I feel like a young schoolboy again.

Looking at Deanna, she is so calm. Her eyes are fixated at the screen. She
shortened her hair….I haven’t noticed that before….oh well.
Her posture while she sits on the chair is of pride. She finally has been
allowed to wear a uniform like we all wear. And you had to see her face when
she got the yes.

Looking at the clock I see that we still have two hours to go.

Then all of the sudden Deanna looks at me with her head tilted. I give her
one of my assuring smiles but before she can say or ask me something she is
called away to one of her patients. That gives me some space to breath

At the end of the shift I almost run to her office. The light outside is on
what means that she has a patient in her office and doesn’t want to be
disturbed. I take a stand on the other side of the corridor, leaning against
the wall, waiting…

I don’t have to wait long to see a smiling patient as well a smiling
counselor coming out of the door. Her head tilts again when she sees me….oh
how I love that when she does that.

Without a word I carefully take her hand to intwine it with mine before
walking away taking her with me. Surprisingly she doesn’t say a word but
just walks with me. Now I know this is going to be the best night.

A little droozy drabble part five:

Sitting down at the table I carefully pour some wine in which I got from the
captain his own private stack. It took me some convincing but I finally got
a whole bottle of wine. Now the worst part is that I don’t even know if she
likes the wine or not.

But when she takes a sip she smiles at the taste and takes another.

No words are spoken to each other. There is none needed between us. Our body
language speaks on it’s own. Our meal is handmade by Beverly. It tastes so
fabulous, not better then my own cooking but quite good. We enjoy a Chinese
soup which is very light and a nice pre-course. Then we had some vegetables
I never saw before with baked potatoes. All through dinner I couldn’t keep
my eyes of her but still we didn’t spoke.

After I cleaned up the table you could see her waiting for something. I knew
why, she wanted desert…..chocolate preferably. So I walked to a little
fridge I got a few years ago to get the chocolate sundae, Guinan made that
specially for Deanna. and walked to the couch where Deanna took a seat. Her
eyes just lit up by seeing the sundae and still often I ask myself what she
sees in the chocolate. What is so special about it? I never asked her
though…I should do that sometime.

I handed the sundae to her and a spoon before sitting down right next to
her. feeling the little box in my trousers I get all nervous again. Watching
and hearing her enjoying the desert she suddenly stops eating and sets down
the sundae and gives me her full attention.


I had to smile at that little gesture. When it comes from her mouth it
sounds so important. Every word that comes from her sounds like it has a
bigger meaning.

In my head there are so many scripts running and I can’t decide which one to
pick. Every script is at the end desame but the beginning is different.

“Deanna….A couple of months ago I spent countless of nights of how it was
going to go tonight…and I forgot everything.”

I picked the box out of my trousers and held it for me so she could she it.
Her look was surprised when she saw it. The look was of remembering…she
remembered the little box. Offcourse, I showed it to her so many years ago.
The little box held a weddingring which was worn by my own mother. One time
ago I told her about it and she asked me to show it to her, that I did.

“Years ago I showed you the ring and I hoped on that day that someday I
could put this ring on your finger but as time passed I lost the hope day by

I took a deep breath so I had a second of time to gather my thoughts.

“We’re Imzadi. You told me that means the First. You were right at one point
that I didn’t understand what it really meant but I read and heard much
about from your own mother that I know finally understand it. It got me
scared in a way. But when I see your smile all my despair vanish and hope
reappears. We belong to each other Deanna…..I hope you see desame….So I am
asking you, will you let me be your husband?”
her eyes keep on staring at me as if that they are looking for something.
Then she finally looks away from me to stare at the ring. Carefully she
takes the box to take a better look when she looks up again.

A little droozy drabble part six:

There is silence in the room after I stop talking, only our breathing can be

What will she do?

She keeps looking at me as if she is trying to find something in my eyes but
can’t find it.

I relax myself and wait for her, I waited this long, a few more minutes
longer won’t hurt me anymore then before.

Her mouth starts to open, as I wait to for her to say something.

Her mouth opens but there is no word coming out, but in my mind I can feel
the word. After so many years she is sending a word to me again. It’s so
relieving to hear that just one word she uses.


My face slowly begins to smile at her, as does she.

Slowly I pick her up her right hand to slide the ring on her finger. She
starts trembling when she feels the ring on her finger. A quick look at the
ring, she hugs me very tightly.

As I close my eyes I can see us in the Jalara Jungle again, just like our
first time. Seeing myself, a Starfleet officer with a attitude who had the
desire to become Captain, but being on Betazed, my desires change although I
never admited it to anyone till now. Deanna now knows..

My first wish has been granted for me….

[I love you Dea]