Violations Revisited

Will contemplates what his life could be life without Deanna...

God, look at her. She's beautiful even in her current state. Imzadi...
Beverly Crusher came in to check on Deanna, still in a coma from her mental assault by Jev, and was surprised to find Commander William Riker at her bedside. She made a move to go over to him, but stopped in her tracks when she realized he was talking to her, holding her hand, with his voice barely above a whisper. She turned back toward her office, her heart sympathetic, and let him have a moment before seeing to Deanna. Will stood with her hand in his, somehow trying to hold onto whatever life she might be holding onto. He surveyed her face with fond recollection. Everything was still as perfect as it was the first time he had ever laid eyes on it.
He sighed, and finally got the nerve to speak to her. "Deanna, I don't know if you can hear me, I've...I've heard doctors say that even when someone's in a coma, they may be able to hear when people talk to them. That it might help stimulate the brain...speed healing. In fact, I think you did that for me once, when I was in pretty bad shape. I just might help to hear a friendly voice. Even if you don't know you're hearing it.
We've been busy mapping the sector. It's been pretty routine. The most unusual thing we've seen is a binary star system. Let's see, what else. I finished the personnel review that we were working on. You can check it out...when you wake up. I miss you. Please don't stay away too long."
He made an effort to turn away from her, but there was something else he felt he needed to say. Will leaned in closer and whispered, "Hang on, Deanna. Don't let go. Don't let go yet. There's so much...I need to tell you. I don't think you realize how dependant I've become of you. Who else could give me the strength and inspiration you do? Who else could counsel me better than know me better than anyone...better than I know myself.'re my best friend. I need you to stay here with me. I need you to keep me a whole person...Because without you, I am so empty, Deanna. And I'd only admit that to you."
Beverly's footsteps could be heard from behind him. He let go of Deanna's hand, and made himself turn away. "I was just leaving, Bev." He started towards the door, but the doctor caught him. "Will... I'm going to take care of her. She'll pull through. I know she will." He smiled at her, looked back to his imzadi, and said, "I hope so." With that, he left sickbay, and headed for his quarters.
As Riker lie in his bed, he began his log for the day.
First Officers Log, Personal. It's been two days since Deanna's been in a coma. I worry about her constantly. Beverly still hasn't determined for sure whether she's getting better or worse. I feel so helpless. It's so frustrating not to be able to do something about this. Jev...that bastard. If I thought I could get out of a court martial, I'd kill him for what he's done. I can't even imagine the kind of torture he put Deanna through...and enough to put her in a coma! Damn him! He turned over let out a long sigh. As you can probably tell, I haven't slept much lately...not knowing that Deanna's life hangs in a balance. You would think that a woman who meant this much to me would be my wife by now, huh? Will let out a forced chuckle. But not even humor could bring him out of his current mood. I don't know. I love her. I know that. Without question. Why then, is our relationship so complicated? Another heavy sigh over took him along with the fatigue he was already experiencing. All I know is, if she it later tonight, tomorrow, or a few days from now...I'll be... I couldn't tell you what I'd be. A mess, probably. I've never lost anything that was this important to my life-and now that I think about it, I don't think I want to.