Paramount is the legal owner of my toys, but I still say if they'd satisfy them more, they'd stop running to the pages of fanfic<G>
Feedback is welcome, as is constructive criticism, but don't critique my use of fluffy adjectives, or my lack of plot.......that's part of the therapeutic process of writing this stuff....and this is old, BTW, think i was afraid to post it at the time, but i did motify it today to meet an R instead of NC17 rating<BG>
"Do you want to get married?" Deanna leaned back on her hands and cast a sidelong glance to the man beside her. The heat of the camp fire warmed her cheeks, the light of the flames painting his skin with lights and shadows, distorting his bearded face with an almost boyish look of surprise.
"Is this a hypothetical question or a proposal?" The teasing smile he tried to mask by stroking a tongue over the inside of his bottom lip did nothing to disguise his cautious curiosity.
"Hypothetical." She answered, just so his shoulders would relax.
"Someday, maybe, when I've done everything else there is to do."
"I'm serious Will."
He shifted, tossed another log on the fire and repositioned himself to face her, "I guess it depends on who I'd be marrying?"
"Suppose you found the women you love more then life itself?" A chilly breeze rustled the trees and tickled through her shirt, grazing her warm skin with it's icy breath. A shiver traced up her spine, whether it was caused by the wind or the intense gaze he held her with, she wasn't sure.
"I already have....found the women I love more then life itself." he said it so calmly, so matter-of-factly she felt silly for challenging him.
"So what does that mean?"
"It means I love you," He said, leaning forward, taking her hand and kissing it lightly, "but it doesn't mean we have to get married ......why.. do you want to, is this important to you?"
She wasn't even sure why'd she'd brought it up, maybe that in itself suggested it was important to her. She studied his thumb as it stroked methodically against her hand, the familiar scent of him catching on the breeze and indulging her senses.
"I don't know, maybe it is."
"Maybe how.......You're still coming onboard with me tomorrow, aren't you?"
The thumb she'd been studying so closely stopped and pressed against her hand.
"Of course, I'm your ships counselor."
He brushed the soot from his other hand on his pants, taking both her hands in his. He drew them slowly, thoughtfully to his lips, kissed her fingers, then brought dusty gray eyes up to meet with hers, "Would it be different, if we got married......do you think I'd love you more?"
There was an innocence to his question, his sincerity almost tactile.
"What about children....do you want children?"
"Do you......do you want children, now?"
She opened her mouth to answer, then closed it, and thought for a moment, "Not yet.....but someday."
"Me too, someday." He looked away, his eyes leaving hers, moving upwards, staring into the clear night sky.
"Aside from children.....what else is it about marriage, is it the declaration of love in front of friends and family, because I'll make that my first order of business tomorrow," He cupped his hands over his mouth and spoke into them, sending an echo into the canyon below, "Attention Enterprise crew, this your captain, and I love Deanna Troi."
She smiled and listened to his commitment reiterate itself.....It seemed to mingle with the sound of the brook, take flight on the breeze that rustled through the trees.
"I'm sorry I asked this question Will Riker, it's obvious you've been planing your defense for years." She massaged her hands over his thighs, and leaned closer to him, pressing a kiss on his chin.
"It's not a defense Deanna, it's a reality......We can get married, or not get married, it won't change anything." He tossed some seeds onto the fire, they snapped and crackled with vibrant colors as rich as the conviction that sounded in his voice. "Do you believe in a supreme being Deanna, a divine power that controls?"
He crept his hand around her waist, and with a gentle tug pulled her to his lap.
"I don't know, I know I don't believe in death being an end to life." She leaned back against his chest, and rested her hand on his.
"See that star?" he asked, pointing his finger to the sky and lowering his face beside hers so that the breath of his question kissed her cheek.
"There's a million stars," She replied, turning her head towards him, her lips brushing against his beard.
"No, that one," he repeated, stabbing his finger more persistently, "I call it Imzadi."
She followed his finger, her eyes landing on a vibrant blue white star that pulsed faster then the others, that's light out shined the rest.
"That star.... that star," he continued, "has been throbbing, emitting an eternal pulse of light since since the first night I met you, hundreds of years before, and probably hundreds of years from now. At times a planet, Anaris, moves in front of it, blocks its light, but even then it continues to beat relentlessly against anything in its path......It's light has mapped an eternal path for itself, don't you see."
She stared at the pulsing light, then turned to face him, shifting her position so her legs straddled him.
"I see you've been rehearsing this for a long time and I'm willing to give you a reprieve." She smiled, rested her hands against his shoulders, a small push, throwing him willing back to the ground.
She pressed her lips against his tenderly, only teasing his mouth with hers.....At first he just laid there, blue eyes, dark, surprised and aroused looking back at her.....lips unresponsive at first finally reacted to hers; rich and hungry kisses tickled over her cheeks, her jaw, generating shivers as they devoured her neck, and throat. They followed the same heated trail back to her lips, a strong hand cradling her neck brought her closer to him as his tongue explored the inside of her mouth.
The same hand that had pressed her to him, gripped her hair, gently, but firmly breaking the contact between their lips.
She looked down on him, his eyes nearly black, his breath erratic has it left his parted lips.
"Deanna," He said on a low whisper, lush with desire, but embroidered with concern, "What do you want to do, do you want to get married?"
"Not today," She answered, using both hands to unbutton his shirt.
His grip on her hair weakened as she pushed the shirt open and ran her nails lightly, then more firmly over his heaving chest. She heard his breath catch in his throat as she drew her own shirt over her head and slipped her bra from her shoulders.
"Tomorrow?" He said, reaching a hand behind her back, unclasping her bra and tossing it aside.
"No," She gasped, then sighed as she watched his hands massage her breast, trace teasing circles around her nipples, grazing them far too lightly with his thumb.
"When then?" He asked, flipping her to her back, taking control of a situation he was already in control of, "You must have brought this up for a reason?"
He didn't allow her to answer, his mouth caught hers, the words she'd planed on saying, suffocated, not only by his thirst for her, but hers for him. His mouth, his hands, his thoughts engulfed her, encircled her in a ring of cool fire that muted and amplified the senses.....entangling their scents, their flavors, their breathless whispers as tangibly as their own bodies.
Her name spoken on an uneven breath reiterated itself with each thrust, his eyes a liquid indigo transfixed hers, reaching inside her soul, capturing it with the same reverence he seemed to have for her body. His thrusts deepened, became more erratic, his warm breath kissed her skin and the heavens seemed to sanctify their union. A cool rain fell, interment droplets baptizing their hopes and dreams, washing away the insecurities and fears that had plagued them. Her body shivered beneath his, her release consuming her with a white heat, and a spiral of light that forced her to close her eyes, abandon herself to the feeling of her body's contractions as his pulsed into her.
She drew her eyes open as his body stilled, his shudders subsided, neither willing to severe the intimate connection of their bodies. He continued to rock against her, cradling her face in his hands as his sated body covered hers.
"I love you, ya know." He said on a ragged breath, "and I do want to marry you," He dropped a kiss on the corner of her parted lips, then rolled off of her, breaking their physical connection, but still holding onto her soul.
"I love you too Will," She answered, turning towards him, wrapping her body against his.
"So, do you want to.....get married?" The lust had vanished from his voice, his question spoken with an almost boyish innocence that compelled her to raise her head from his chest to look at him.
"I think I would." She answered, listening and watching the barrage of emotions he was feeling play over his features and wrap themselves around her heart. They were all conflicting, all ever-changing; hope, doubt, fear, security, joy and sadness waxed and waned in his heart and in his eyes. But one emotion was constant, unwavering, as tangible as the lips she brushed hers against, as unending as any band of gold she could wear on her finger.
His increased breathing caused a smile to tug at her mouth, she ran a thoughtful tongue over her lips, kissed him again, and hoped he could feel her unshakable love as much as she felt his.
"You take command of the Enterprise tomorrow," She said, still masking the smile that was haunting her, "How about two years from Tuesday."
His serious expression remained for a moment, then evolved into a grin so bright it could eclipse the light of the stars above them.
"I don't know Deanna, it seems kinda far away, how about two years from Monday instead." He winked, and lifted his head off the ground to kiss her.
She drew back, eluding the kiss for a moment, instead focusing on the circle of love that surrounded her. A circle that was formed a hundred years ago on Betazed and had never ended, only been reinforced by the layers of time and growth they'd shared.
"I don't think it matters Will, today, tomorrow, a month, a year, or never.......You were right in one thing you said earlier in your carefully orchestrated avoid marriage speech...."
He opened his mouth to object, she pressed a silencing finger to his lips, "Marriage won't make our love stronger, or increase the commitment we have for each other.......I think it's perpetual, sanctioned by the stars and the rain and perhaps a supreme force...."
"You're getting fluffy Deanna." he interrupted, flipping her to her back and covering her mouth with his.
He fell momentarily into the kiss, the silk of her mouth, the heat of her skin, the combined taste of both of them tantalizing his tongue. He pulled away from her slowly, understanding the words he'd interrupted, the feeling that flowed through his veins, throbbed in his heart, and had resided in a sacred corner of his mind for as long as he could remember.
"I was thinking," He said, "I mean if you're done trying to put into words what we're feeling, because honestly I don't think you can....maybe it'd be smarter, more productive if we silently reinforced it.... after all we are engaged now, we should practice for the wedding night, wouldn't want one of those disastrous honeymoon memories."
"Mm," She answered, meeting his devilish grin with her own, "That only leaves us 730 days to study, I'm sure in that amount of time you'll eventually get it right."
His brows raised, his mouth dropped open in a guise of shock, betrayed by the smile that teased the corners of his lips.
He didn't return the snide remark she'd expected, instead he plied her body with kisses, brushed rough, unbridled hands over her skin, stroking, probing until she moaned in response to her impending climax ......His mouth and hands stilled, he looked up at her with a dangerous grin that stimulated her almost as much as his earlier ministrations.
"That was good?" He asked, stroking a tongue over his glistening lips, "Should I write that one down........Well... should I?" He asked again, deliberately avoiding the hand she was trying to snag him with. "I can't learn if you don't tell me."
"Yes Riker, write it down......I don't care what you do just finish what you started!"
"Fine, you don't have to shriek....Geeze, we've been engaged five minutes and already you're nagging."
She closed her eyes in frustration, not only with him, but herself for not realizing she'd be paid back for her earlier remark.
"OK Riker, heres the deal, you either get back to the job at hand, or the next sex you have will be ON our wedding night."
His smug grin faded, he rolled his eyes in mock disgust, "Oh fine, If I have to, but I feel so used."
"Get used to it Captain." She managed to choke as he resumed his practice, her body falling victim to him again.
He kissed his way back up to her lips, pressed his against hers, intoxicating her with the wedded flavor on his tongue. He drew away suddenly, she stiffened and readied herself for whatever he planed.
"I was thinking," He said, his face serious, his eyes dark and aroused, but almost pensive, "I think I have this sex thing figured out, I'm not sure I need any more practice, maybe we should move the wedding date up seven hundred days or so."
"Three hundred sounds better." She said, closing her eyes, basking in the uncomplicated, unencumbered feelings that radiated from him.
She wasn't sure how or why marriage had entered their conversation this evening, but she was glad it had....not because he'd marry her if she wanted him to, she'd always known that. But because she'd learned that his unconditional love and commitment to her rose above the conventional, never wavered on the rocky path they'd followed, and would only strengthen and solidify in the new future he was beginning as Captain of the Enterprise.......A future that's joys and heartaches would be shared by the two of them, ironically a future identical to their past.