The Good, The Bad and The Furry

Author - Leanne

Rating - PG13

Disclaimer - Except for the story idea none of it's mine (gee I wonder why they never thought of this).


From his semi asleep state Will Riker shuffled to get comfortable. For the fifth time in two minutes he heard something or someone scratching around the bedroom. "Deanna," he mumbled, hoping it was her and they hadn't been taken over by some alien life form. It was only his first week in command of the Titan, the last thing he needed was psychotic rats tearing up their quarters. "Deanna," he shouted louder this time, frustrated that she hadn't answered.

His new wife entered the bedroom and walked up to the mirror, finishing off her hair. "I have an appointment in ten minutes Will and you need to be on the Bridge in thirty."

"What's that noise?" he asked ignoring her subtle hint about him getting out of bed.

She turned to look at him, listening intently. "I can't hear anything, I hope you weren't referring to me talking as noise." Her eyebrows rose and the corner of her mouth curved up in a grin.

Will sat up and returned her smile, "Imzadi, everything that comes out of your mouth is pure poetry."

Deanna erupted in laughter and sat down beside him on the bed. "You can be so adorable sometimes." She placed a quick kiss on his lips, resting her hand on his chest. "I have to go."

He gently touched her nose with his own and sighed in contentment. "Right now?"

"Right now." She answered, sweeping the covers away from his body. "Out of bed Captain."

There was quiet for a moment as neither moved, and then Will heard the scratching again. In seconds he was on his feet scouring their bedroom, "Can you hear it?"

"Will, there's something I need to tell you."

"What?" He continued to move furniture around the room and pulled out a chair that had his clothes sitting on it.

"Will." Deanna said urgently and Will looked up at her.


Before Deanna could open her mouth to speak Will yelled out in surprise as something came hurling towards him. He fell onto his backside as it clawed at him, and it was in between it's thrashings that Will recognised the golden coloured fur. Grabbing hold of his attacker Will held it at arms length. "Spot! What the hell is Spot doing here?"

He looked up at Deanna, who bent down to take Spot out of Will's hands. "There was nowhere else for her to go and I couldn't just give her away she was Data's cat, his friend."

Will got to his feet and flinched as Spot hissed at him. "Deanna you know cats and I don't get along, especially this one. Last time I looked after her I nearly lost my head."

"Awww is Captain Riker scared of a little pussy cat? And here was me thinking I'd married the most courageous and understanding man in Starfleet." Deanna continued to pat the new addition to their quarters, trying to keep the grin from her face as Will backed away from her.

"Don't play games with me Deanna, surely someone else will look after her, what about Geordi?"

Deanna watched as Spot jumped from her arms and wandered into the living room. "Geordi said he had problems with her last time he minded her for Data."

"Like that's a big surprise."

"Will I don't have time for this now, we'll talk about it tonight." She walked out of the room leaving him sitting on the bed. He heard her talking to softly Spot, moments later the door to their quarters opened and the rooms were filled with silence.

Will got to his feet and walked to the doorway. He saw Spot sitting beside the couch and when the feline noticed him stared back with an equal intense glare. "Here five minutes and already got me in to trouble." Will mumbled. He could've sworn she was smiling back at him and he turned away from her in disgust heading towards the shower. Before he'd barely had a chance to take a step Spot had run past his legs and jumped up onto his and Deanna's bed. Lying down in the middle she looked exactly like a lioness completely in control of her kingdom. Riker merely continued on to the shower, several scenarios of how he could make it to the Bridge unscathed running through his mind.



A short time later Will stepped out of the shower, dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his waist before walking into the bedroom. His uniform was laid out on the chair just as Deanna had left it a short time ago, the only difference being the breathing ball of fur that now sat on it. "Off, Spot." Will walked up to the chair, waiting for Spot to get the hint. Spot however had no intention of moving, she stretched her front legs out and clawed at his uniform before finding a comfortable position and lying down. "Move it!" Will said a little louder and reached forward to pick up his clothes. He hadn't even touched his uniform when his feline foe had taken a swipe at his hand, leaving the Commander with several deep gashes in his palm. "Ouch! Damn cat!" Will drew back his hand but still stood within striking distance for Spot to take another swing.

"I don't have time for this you fur ball from hell, get off the uniform or I'll throw you off."

Spot still didn't get up, her only movement the slight twitching of her mouth in the hope of taking a chunk out of Riker's arm should he approach her again. Will sighed, making sure his towel was still held securely in place. The last thing he wanted was for it to fall down and leave the Riker lineage wide open for an attack. He moved back a step but leaned forward with his hands outstretched so he could grab Spot and hold her away from his body. Staring down at her Will quickly snatched the cat off the chair, but just as swiftly Spot began throwing her limbs around carving up Will's arms with every thrashing of her claws. He yelled out in pain, stretching his arms up and out more as Spot struggled against his hold all the while meowing in anger at him. She flailed about in his hands trying to break free, causing Will to stagger around the room.

Temporarily loosing his balance Will fell backwards and onto the bed, Spot landing on his head. She slashed at his face and it only took Will seconds to roll off the bed and seek out a retreat in the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He walked over to the sink, scowling as he washed the blood off his arms. As the red fluid continued to flow from the numerous cuts Will looked up in to the mirror. A large gash ran down the length of his right cheek and over his top lip, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. His forehead also demonstrated his loss against an opponent less than a tenth of his size. A cut ran parallel to the one on his cheek, down over his forehead and into his eyebrow, a steady stream of blood leaving a trail down his face and collecting in the hair on his chest. He splashed some water on his face and patted it dry with the red tinged towel that had remained in place around his waist.

With cuts still raw and seeping Will walked to the door and opened it slightly scanning the room for his attacker. He groaned when he saw Spot sitting back on the chair which was covered with his uniform. Unsure of what time it was he guessed that nearly half an hour had passed since Deanna had tried to get him out of bed leaving him with only one alternative.

"Riker to Troi."

<Troi here, how can I help you Captain?>

Will rolled his eyes in annoyance, there was only one reason she had called him Captain, she had someone else with her. Unsure as to how he could ask her to come and save him from his captor he sought for an answer that wouldn't make him look uncaptain like in front of one of his crew. "Counselor I need your assistance with something immediately as I'm needed on the Bridge."

There was a few moments of silence before Deanna answered. <Yes Sir, where are you?>

Will lowered his voice slightly so whoever was with Deanna wouldn't hear. "I'm in our quarters." He said quickly while glancing out the door to check if Spot had moved.

<Will I'm with a patient, this isn't a good time.>

"Damn it Deanna!" he snapped, "this stupid cat has got me hold up in the bathroom will you come and sort it out."

He heard Deanna sigh and almost felt like doing the same himself. <Will, she's a cat, you're a man, all you have to do is walk out of the room.>

"I would but she's sitting on my uniform, I've already got cuts all over my body." Will walked out of the bathroom and approached Spot again. She lay comfortably stretched out the length of the chair and right in the middle of Will's clothes.

<Just pick her up gently and move her.>

Doing as he was told Will reached out for Spot. While on the other end of the Comm. Deanna heard only silence at first, and then abruptly it was interrupted by the sounds of Will yelling and Spot's screech's.


When Will didn't answer the second time she called for him Deanna was out of her office and into the turbolift within seconds. The door to their quarters opened on her approach and she walked in. The first thing she saw was Will's feet and legs lying across the floor, the nearer she got to him the more of his body she could see. He was lying flat out on his back with Spot sitting on his stomach, his uniform tightly clasped in his hand. "Got my uniform." He said sheepishly looking up at Deanna.

Deanna shook her head, noticing the scratches all over Will's body. The fact that he'd taken on Spot wearing only a towel, which now barely covered the assets she knew he'd tried to keep unscathed, made her wonder what exactly had gone on since she'd left. She smiled as Spot began to lick one of the scratches that ran down the side of Will's stomach. "Are you two having fun?" She bent down and picked Spot up and with little effort had the cat purring in her arms.

Will struggled to his feet, clutching the towel around his waist and inspecting the fresh set of cuts that covered his body. "I'm sorry Deanna but either that fluff ball finds new quarters or I do." He watched as Deanna looked away from him and at Spot, momentarily stunned that she seemed to actually thinking about it. "Just remember that Spot can't provide you with one of the vital ingredients for having children."

Deanna laughed. In a matter of minutes he'd gone from cowering at a cat to thrusting his chest out at her and making claims as to his masculinity. "Maybe not, but then Spot doesn't interrupt my appointments when she's scared of something less than half her size."

Will threw his uniform down on the bed, removing the towel from his waist while Deanna still had a hold of Spot. "I never said I was scared." He began to dress, wincing each time the material scrapped against his bloodied skin.

"You should go to Sickbay." Spot jumped out of her arms and went to sit back up on the chair leaving Deanna to help Will get dressed.

"I should be on the Bridge."

She could tell he wasn't happy about being late. They'd only been married a few weeks and on board the Titan a matter of days, this was the last thing he wanted. He finished getting dressed and walked into the bathroom to clean up his face. "I love you Deanna and I loved Data as my friend but that cat is not staying here."

"What happened to having a choice?" She smirked at him from the doorway.

"You're telling me if you had the choice you'd pick a temperamental furry animal over companionship, love and passion?"

"That depends, both those choices sound like you." The corner of her mouth curled up and she saw Will fighting back his own snigger. He kissed her as he walked past and leaned down to growl in her ear. "That sounded more like a wild beast rather than a cat." She said with a slight tremble in her voice, something that didn't go unnoticed by Will.

"Does Spot do that to you? 'Cos I'd be a little worried if she did." He laughed, walking away from her, out through the bedroom and into the living room. "I'll be on the Bridge should you need to tell the temperamental furry beast that the moody neurotic cat has a new owner."



That night, the door to his and Deanna's quarters opened as Will approached. He put his head through the door looking for signs that Spot was still there. When he saw the living room was all clear he walked in still scanning the room. Deanna hadn't called him during the day to say that she'd found somewhere for Spot to stay, but he doubted she would've given him the satisfaction of knowing he'd won. She'd want to mess with his head a little first, make him squirm about it all day. "Deanna?"

After receiving no reply he walked further into the room. "Computer, location of Counselor Troi."

<Counselor Troi is in her office.>

"Damn it." There was no way he was going to disturb her after this morning. It was then from the corner of his eye that he saw Spot stroll out in to the doorway of the bedroom. She sat down in his path, looking up at him. "Sorry Spot but you've outstayed your welcome." He claimed kneeling down in front of her. With a forced smile and gritted teeth he reached forward to pick her up. "Just let me pick you up and I'll give you the grand tour of the corridor." Spot, much to Will's surprise remained still even after he had placed his hands around her middle. "Then I'll introduce you to the nearest airlock."

As if Spot had somehow understood what he'd said she began to thrash in his grasp. Will let go but fell backwards onto his backside, his eyes closing in defeat as he let out a sigh of frustration. After a few deep breaths he opened them again only to find Spot's face hovering over his, before he had the chance to move a golden paw had taken a swipe at his face. With lighting speed Will had covered his face but Spot continued to claw at him, and with a new set of bloodied tears in both his clothes and skin he quickly got to his feet and stumbled to the bathroom yet again to escape.

Slowly peeling off his clothes he inspected his wounds which made him look like he'd been in a battle with an Alaskan grizzly rather than a mere house cat. Grimacing as he stepped in under the water of the shower he let it flow over him and wash away the fresh blood that stained his skin.

After standing under the pounding of the water for a short time he turned off the shower and stepped out. Silently hoping that Deanna had come home he dried himself off before opening the door and once again scouring the area for any sign of Spot. Just as he'd expected she was sitting outside the door waiting for him to come out. Will bared his teeth at her in a mock growl and she hissed back at him.

Fed up with spending the majority of his time in the bathroom he dropped his wet towel on her head. This proved to be a big mistake as it left his fully exposed naked body open for attack and Spot came out from under the wet towel with paws swinging. Will had no time to think as she slashed across his groin, his strangled yell of pain scaring Spot and sending her scurrying from the room.

Looking down all Will could see was blood over both himself and the floor. A small gasp escaped him and he reached blindly for something to hold him up, but as the room began to spin there was nothing for him to grab onto as he collapsed to the floor. The image of Spot cowering from him but with an odd sense of achievement on her face the last thing Will saw before blackness.

He awoke to find Deanna staring down over him and although he'd wanted words to come out of his mouth his response to seeing her was instead a twisted moan.

"Will calm down the Doctor is on his way."

Will nodded and fumbled to find her hand. "Where's Spot?"

"She's hiding behind the couch, I think you scared her." Deanna smiled lightly and Will returned the gesture. "Lieutenant Barclay is going to take care of her." She smoothed back the wet hair that clung to his clammy forehead wiping the sweat off with her uniform sleeve.

Will let out a sigh of relief just as the chime rang indicating the Doctor's arrival. "Remind me to give him a promotion for taking on that damn hell cat."

Deanna let the Doctor in and he rushed to Will's side. "What happened?" he asked.

"I came in and found him sprawled out on his stomach, unconscious, blood everywhere." Deanna said worriedly, not letting Will get a word in. "At first I thought he'd slipped and hit his head and that's where all the blood was coming from."

The Doctor continued to nod his head the whole time Deanna spoke, running his tricorder over Will. "Well it does look like he's taken a fairly nasty knock to the head but that's not where the blood's come from."

"No, that would be my groin." Will said sarcastically as if the Doctor didn't already know where it had come from. He ground his teeth in agony and looked at Deanna pleadingly, hoping she would make the pain go away.

"Is he going to be alright?" Deanna asked. "That is a rather sensitive area, there won't be permanent damage will there?"

The Doctor got to his feet, closing his tricorder. "I can heal the open wound easily enough but he will be quite sore for a while and he'll need rest to recover from the blood loss but he should be fine in a few days."

"A few days! I'm the Captain of this ship I've got things to do"

"I see Doctor Crusher was right." The Doctor mumbled but was still loud enough for Will to hear.

"What has that woman been saying about me? You know I thought it was bad enough that my new First Officer knew about my confrontations with a cat, is there no such thing as respect for a senior officer anymore?"

Deanna laughed as she helped the Doctor sit Will up to give him a drink of water. "It's not that they don't respect you Will," she said sweetly "it's just that sometimes you are your own worst enemy."

"Let's get you to Sickbay and get you cleaned up." The Doctor interrupted before Will could respond.

"Wait!" Will yelled a little louder than he'd meant. "Everything's okay? We can still have children right? And I can still.well you know?"

Deanna saw it as a good sign when his embarrassment brought a bit of colour back into his cheeks and she felt both her own and Will's relief at the Doctor's response that after some rest everything would return to normal.

"Good," Will sighed, "that's good, now I just have to try and not walk like I have extra baggage in my pants."

Both Deanna and the Doctor sniggered. "Maybe you should check his head first, it seems that he hit it harder than we thought." Deanna rolled her eyes at him, the next several days were certain to be painful for both her and Will.



Two days later

Stretched out on a bed in Sickbay Will Riker watched the Titan's doctor with impatience, waiting for the final sign of approval that he could return to the Bridge. "Doc, I'm fine really."

"It looks like the scarring has healed but I'm guessing you're still a bit sore right?" The Doctor, human and only a few years older than Will looked at him with a hint of mischief in his eyes.

"I'm still a bit tender if that's what you mean but that won't keep me from doing my job." Will sat up facing away from the Doctor hoping to make a quick escape whether the doctor gave his authorization or not. But before he had chance to even stand up the path for his getaway was blocked by none other than Reg Barclay, who stood in the doorway holding a very placid looking Spot under his arm.

Will flinched at Spot's appearance and wriggled back further on to the bed. "I just wanted to check on you Captain," Reg said slightly nervous "and thank you for giving me the honour of looking after Spot."

"No problem Reg, believe me I should be the one thanking you because I don't think I could survive another confrontation like the last one."

Barclay hadn't had the chance to answer when Deanna walked into Sickbay accompanied by the Titan's First Officer. Troi looked at Reg and Spot with urgency, surprised that Barclay had actually brought Will's most feared foe to see him just as his old wounds had started to heal. "Reg," she said placing a hand on his arm and at the same time noticing the apprehension in Will's eyes "I'm sure the Captain appreciates your visit but it might be a good idea to take Spot back to your quarters."

Barclay, for the first time since arriving looked up at Riker and realised the Captain's uncomfortable posture. Reg had had his fair share of dealing with the sweaty clenched hands and tensed up body to know that it was time to take the Counselor's advice and return Spot to his quarters. He nodded his head to Deanna and took several steps towards the door before turning around to face Will again. "Thank you Sir." He said, and then he was gone.

Deanna watched Will's body slump in relief and moved to stand by his side. "That was nice of him to come and see you."

"Mmm." Was Will's only response as he slid to the edge of the bed and looked over to the Doctor, who had been watching the scene play out in front of him with a look of amusement on his face. "With your approval Doctor I'll return to the Bridge."

"You have it, but no away missions or," he winked at Deanna "anything strenuous for the next few days."

"Fine," Will said absentmindedly as a strand of cat fur floated past his face. He swiped at it with his hand as he eased himself off the bed. Missing the fur in front of him he noticed there were larger clumps circulating throughout the room. "And you think it's difficult cleaning up after me." He said to Deanna.

She smiled sweetly back at him. "Yes but the difference is my dear Captain is that you are capable of cleaning up after yourself and yet somehow your dirty clothes and dishes always seem to accumulate into a massive gaseous ball of filth that could be shot out into space to form a new star."

Will turned to his First Officer, O'Connor, for support but to his disappointment she stood behind Deanna, a huge grin plastered over her face. "Good to see I have my crew's support." He murmured. He knew that news of his run in with Spot would have gone completely ship wide by now, after spending the last two days confined to quarters he was about to walk right into whatever rumours had been circulated.

"Sir," O'Connor stepped in front of Will, her closed hand held out to him. Slowly she turned over her hand and opened it, inside lay a gold medallion with small writing inscribed over its surface.

"What's this?" Will said, smiling for the first time in two days.

"It's a medal of valour Sir, from the crew, in honour of your battle with such a fearless enemy."

Will's smile vanished as he turned to stare at Deanna "Oh really? and here was me thinking it was a medal for surviving Deanna's ribald jokes." He looked at the three of them in turn, his anger perfectly hidden behind his best poker face. "I'll be on the Bridge."

Walking past them, his movements a little awkward and uncoordinated he stopped as he stepped out into the corridor to scratch his nose and wave more fur away from his face. Before the door had chance to close Deanna, O'Connor and the ships Doctor could only look on in pain at the unmistakable sound of Will Riker sneezing followed by his reactional scream of agony as his groin adjusted to the jolting of his body and he fell to his knees, his hands clamped firmly to his crotch.

"Counselor to sickbay, the captain needs assistance.again." Deanna giggled in mirth with the Doctor. So sure of an exit the Captain once more was brought in by his wife and Doctor, whispering an oath over and over again. "Damn that cat! Damn that cat!"

The End