By Lorien

Disclaimer: All belongs to the mighty Paramount.


I could've stopped her. She would've listened right?

She would've.


There's a thousand words that I could say
To make you come home
Seems so long ago you walked away
You left me alone
I remember what you said to me
You were acting so strange
And maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change

"Will, we need to talk."

"So talk."

Deanna calmly implied, "Sit. You need to sit."

"No, I don't. Tell me so I can be on my way."

Will was standing in her quarters, near the door, ready to leave.

The two had gotten into a discussion the night before about duty versus love and it turned into an ugly argument. Will stormed out and Deanna sat in her bed the rest of the night, crying.

After howling for quite a while, Deanna started to think about the whole career thing and came to a conclusion of her own.

"Will, I've accepted a position as head of Psychiatric at Starfleet, in San Francisco. I'm leaving next week."

Will turned around to face the one woman he realized he had ever loved and started to laugh uncontrollably.

He had to sit, and clutching his stomach, he told his very shocked Imzadi, "You're running away! You're doing the exact same thing that I did the night we were supposed to meet on Risa!"

Deanna was so infuriated she could hardly speak. That pompous, arrogant fool. How could he laugh at a time like this?!

Will calmed himself and replied.

"Deanna. Do whatever you want! I don't care. Our career in Starfleet is more important right? You said it yourself! Love can wait. Marriage can wait. We have all the time in the world!!"

And that was the end of it.

She left the very next week, with tears in her eyes and her shattered heart in his hands.


If I could just find a way
To make it so that you were right here
Right now

"Number one? Are you okay?"

Startled, Will came face-to-face with Captain Picard and the CMO, Doctor Crusher. They had found him, in Ten-Forward, again.

Getting up, Will replied, "Yeah, I'm alright. What happened?"

Beverly, who was never one to give bad news, told him, "You passed out in Ten-Forward. Again. Will, you've got to stop this."

Picard joined, "I agree. Ever since..."

Will glared at him.

"Well you know. I've come to a decision to grant you a leave-of-absence. You need some sleep and I'm restricting you to everywhere except Ten-Forward. I've also removed all beverages containing synthehol from your in-quarter replicator. Get some sleep. Have some fun in the holodeck. Do something! You need to get over this."

Picard waited for his reply, expecting something like, "No! I can go to work!", or "I'm fine."

But, he all he said was, "Agreed. I'll be in my quarters. See you in a week."


I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I'll try my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

Would she have gone if I stopped her? What if I had asked her to marry me and gotten on my hand and knees and groveled? What if I somehow saved her life and we made up, and then got married? Why hadn't we gotten married sooner?

Why am I so fucking stubborn?!!

I loved her, didn't I? I did. For sure. I did.

You're gone
You're gone
Baby you're gone
Girl you're gone, baby girl,
You're gone
You're gone

Would I still be able to talk to her? I could send her a subspace right?

Good idea.

I don't want to make excuses baby
Won't change the fact that you're gone
But if there's something that I could do
Won't you please let me know
Time is passing so slowly now
Guess that's my life without you
And maybe I could change my everyday
But baby I don't want to

[Subspace message delivered.]

Will put his head down on his arm in defeat, hoping he had convinced her enough to come back. She had to.

Or else he wouldn't be able to go on living.

Oh what I'll do
If I can't be with you
Tell me where will I turn to
Baby where will I be
We are apart
Am I still in your heart
Baby why can't you see
That I need you here with me


The next week, Will had gone back to being the all mighty, all knowing, first officer. Everything was back to normal.

On the Enterprise, that is.

In his heart, nothing would be the same, ever again.

So I'll just hang around
And find some things to do
To keep my mind off of missing you
And I know in my heart
You can't say that you don't love me too
Please say you do

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane wishing I could touch your
But the truth remains