Disclaimer: Everything Star Trek will always belong to
Paramount. Got it? Good.

Author's Note: This is a fairly depressing piece, if
you aren't in the best mood in the world, I don't
recommend reading this.

I changed my mind.






Will sat in his chair as he watched the other funeral
attendees slowly file out with tears in their eyes and
grief in their hearts.

She was gone.

And she was never coming back.


What a cruel word.


As he watched her in the personal logs, his finger
slid over the image of her long, chestnut colored
hair. The images of the accident swept through his
head again, and Will put his head on his arm in defeat
and tears.

The reflection of the cargo bay accident repeated
itself over and over again in Will's head as he
thought of ways he could've helped her. It was really
no help. She was never coming back and he knew it in
the back of his head despite his efforts.

{I love you...Imzadi...}

Her last words were said in sickbay, while he was on
the side, watching the CMO rush here and there,
getting this and that, only it was too late. She had a
violent seizure and died before anyone could do
anything else.

Just by the thought of it, fresh tears formed in his
eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat and went on
with packing the things that Lwaxana might've wanted.

Still, the image kept on haunting him.

What happened was simple. A box was misplaced on the
top floor, on the balcony ramp. It fell, but Will
didn't really worry at first. He thought it would fall
on the floor, and some minor lecturing would have to
be done. But it really wasn't that simple at all. His
eyes slid down to what he estimated where the box
would land, and there she was. Standing beautifully in
that special way that turned him into mush, Deanna
unsuspectingly smiled at Will, not knowing what was
about to happen. Not knowing that that was the last
smile she would ever give him.

The door chime went off and Will swallowed the newly
formed lump in his throat.

"Come in."

Surprisingly, Worf strolled in, with his heart on his
sleeve. The two senior officers exchanged pained looks
as if it were a competition to see who was suffering
the most.

"I just came to say that...I mean, I want to tell

"Don't. I know. Come help me pack, will you?"

"She died honorably."

"Worf, please, I am really not in the mood for all
that. Can you just help me sort these out?"



He woke up the next morning thinking about her, and
how incredibly happy he was, now that they were back
together. He slid his hand over to her side of the

It was empty.

And that was when reality stabbed him in the back.

[It is now 0600 hours.]

He got up and started his morning ritual with fresh
tears falling down his cheeks.


Work was even worse.

In the captain's ready room, Picard's voice was
reverberating off the walls.

"Don't you see Will? We're all hurting! She was a
wonderful person, and a damn fine officer. Don't go
blaming yourself for her death! There was nothing you
could have done!"

Will's pained expression was still there.

And it was still there when the two highest-ranking
officers of the USS Enterprise felt the unexpected
jolt that rocked the ship.


Power-walking onto the bridge, the captain walked up
to Data while Will took his seat.


"No casualties reported, intruder alert on deck 12.
Female, adolescent. "

"Mr. Worf, take an away team to investigate."

Will immediately stood up to follow Worf.

"Will, stay on the bridge. You are in no shape to be
battling intruders. Go to your quarters and get some
rest. I am temporarily granting you a leave-of-absence
until further notice."

"Sir, I know I look burned out, but please, don't take
this away from me. Not my career."

Eyeing him, Picard soon gave up. The man in front of
him looked so tired that he was being over-dramatic.

"Fine. But as soon as Mr. Worf reports any unusual
behavior from you, you will be released of duty and
recommended for counseling."

"Aye sir."


What was wrong with these people?! Deck 12 was the
same as it ever was, people casually walking here and
there, without any thought to the fact that there was
an intruder.

Will grabbed the nearest civilian and asked, "Have you
noticed anyone around this deck with any unusual
appearance of some sort?"

"No sir, I can't say that I have."

"Alright. Thank you. "

After walking around with their phasers in hand, then
were about to give up. A crowd passed by when Worf
spotted the intruder immediately. It was actually
pretty easy. It was like seeing a ghost.

It was Deanna.

Well, it was 16 year-old Deanna, who had no memory of
Will, the Enterprise or even Starfleet.

In sickbay, she looked incredibly frightened and she
was constantly asked, "Do you know who I am?"

Will couldn't take his eyes off her.

And frankly, it was a little creepy for Deanna.


That night, after being poked and prodded, Will showed
her to her quarters and left for the emergency meeting
he was abruptly called to.

As he entered the observation lounge smiling, everyone
had already arrived except him.

Immediately, he knew what the meeting was about and
his smile faded.

"Will, I see that you've arrived. Sit."

He sat.

"Sir, if this isn't important, I would like to catch
up on some work."

Picard's face looked perturbed. "Will, you know very
well why I have called this meeting."

He gave up.

It was no use hiding it anymore; he didn't even know
why he tried.

"Why is she here?"

Data stood up and explained with illustrations on the
front screen.

"It seems that the anomaly is a time rift of some
sort. I have not reached a conclusion to why it is the
counselor, but I do have a theory."

To Will, it didn't matter why or how she was here, all
that mattered was that she was here now, and that was

"What is it Data?"

"It must have been detected somehow the amount of
grief surrounding the counselor's death. There may be
other individuals involved in this incident."

To Will, it was more like fate. It sounded corny, but
it was the only explanation he could give himself for
the moment.

"Alright. Dismissed. Will, Beverly and Worf stay."


The captain wasn't too pleased with Will's reaction
when he told him he had put Will on a temporary
leave-of-absence. He threw a tantrum and nearly had to
be dragged out by Worf. The three of them- Worf,
Beverly and Will- weren't too pleased with the idea of
not attaching themselves to the adolescent Deanna, but
they knew they had to try their best.

Deanna, however, knew what was going on. She did her
own investigating, and found out about her own recent

The door chimed and she called out, "Come in."

And there he stood. It was hair-raising that he could
make her feel that way. That special way, with
butterflies in her stomach and knees turned into

"Hi. "


"I thought I'd just drop in to see how you were

"I'm supposed to be dead. How do you think I'm

Something occurred to her. She was 16! He looked
around 30 or 35. It would be wrong to act on her

"You look fine."

"Lets just skip to the REAL matter at hand. We are
obviously related in some way."

"You could say that."

"Well what is it?"

"I'm not allowed to say, I'm sorry."

"Fine. Get out."


"If you're not going to tell me, then get out. We're
just wasting time. Time that could be spent on me
getting back to where I'm supposed to be. I miss my


This bothered her. He called her name like he said it
all his life, like he knew her so well. And yet, she
knew nothing of him.

"What do you want?"

Will was taken aback. He wasn't used to Deanna being
so mean to him. They had their arguments, but still,
she was totally differed against him.

It was kind of cute.

"I'll tell you the whole thing if you can calm down."

He knew something after all.


Letting himself to the couch, Will started his story
with a question. "Have you ever heard of the term


For the next few weeks, it was as if she had never
died. Like she was taken from the dead and brought
back to life.

Picard was afraid of this. He knew that Will would get
too close. He could understand where he was coming
from, but it was no reason for a Starfleet commander
to be so out-of-control.

He knew that the two were only trustworthy best
friends, but it was still enough to cause some doubt.
It would be wrong to take it away from Will. The
shadow that was cast over him when the real Deanna
died had disappeared and Will was now Will once again.

That was the problem.

"Picard to Riker."

=/\= Riker here sir. =/\=

"Will, meet me in my ready room."

=/\= Understood. Riker out. =/\=


The captain was very straightforward with his first
officer. "You're getting too close for comfort."

He immediately knew whom he was talking about. "No I'm

"Dammit Will! It's been so obvious!"

Will tried to take it in, but it was so hard to
believe that he had lost control. He loved her so
much, and all he wanted was for her to come back to
him. In any form or shape, as long as it was her.

Sitting down and facing his captain- and friend- he
apologized. "May I speak freely sir?"

"Please do."

Will broke down. "I'm sorry. It's just so hard to be
without her. One minute she's there, and the next...I
mean, I saw her. I saw her die, I saw the whole thing
happen, and yet..." Will's eyes were becoming moist
with fresh tears. "I couldn't do anything to help. I
didn't even try. I just stood aside like some retarded

It was a little disturbing to see his first officer so
weak and vulnerable. He was usually so collected and
upbeat. It was difficult to see him reduced to a weak,
miserable man who thought he had nothing to live for.
The decision he had to make was so obvious and yet, it
seemed wrong, yet fitting.

"Will, I am willing to give you a choice. Either get
some counseling, or I'll have to ask you to never see
Deanna again."

It was an obvious answer, he knew. But it was the
right thing to do.

"I'll get counseling. But I need to deal with the
young Deanna."

"Consider it dealt with. Data and Goerdi have already
thought of a solution to get the young Deanna back to
her own timeline. Get some of the your problems off
your chest, is that understood?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Get back to work and your counselor will
contact you after your shift."

"Thank you sir."

"You're welcome."


The next morning, Goerdi and Data were ready in
transporter room 3 with the young Deanna, Picard,
Will, Beverly and Worf. They had all come to say
goodbye and make sure she got back to her timeline

First, it was Picard.

"I wish we had more time to get to know each other,
but I know how much you want to get back to your
timeline. I'll leave it at that."

"Thank you sir."

Giving him a hug, Deanna didn't seem to want to make a
big fuss about saying goodbye. It felt like a dream,
somehow, like she had more than enough time to get to
know her captain in the future.

Then it was Beverly's turn and then Worf and finally,

"Don't forget me."

"I won't. How could I forget the first person to call
me Imzadi?"

"Deanna, now that you know how you pass away, there's
no doubt that you will live your life differently. All
I want you to do is don't get too paranoid about it,
and remember to apply for the academy."

"I'll see you then."

"You will. You already have."

The two of them gave each other a tight hug and Deanna
stepped onto the platform.

With a glow and a smile, she disappeared and it was

Fate had its hand in the events that happened those
past weeks, and at least, Will was grateful. He had
gotten to see his Imzadi again like he wanted to, and
she knew how he felt.

It was all that he ever needed.