By Louann
Rated: R

They don't belong to me but Paramounts had they're fun now its my turn.
R just in case


The light faded gently as she sat on the narrow ledge overlooking the village she had come to call home.
Swirling mists of colours reminded her of the artwork of her native home and a specific piece she had stood before what felt like lifetimes ago. It had been another life, another time, another place.
She allowed her mind to wander to that time, that place, a luxury she would only allow herself here away from prying eyes and minds.

His face swam through her mind, the sound of his voice and the feeling of his hands rushing burning tears to her eyes and swelling emotion to her throat the intensity of her reaction still had the ability to shock even after all the years past.
It had been a lifetime since she had last seen his face or heard his voice but branded on her heart it still remained.

She had built a life here in this foreign place and lived that life knowing all she had left behind the part of her soul that she had cast out to remain here….with him.
Another face swam before her eyes and the rush of love still made her catch her breath. Strong, beautiful and loving he was the very essence of the man she'd imagined him to be. Then he was there beside her as if she'd called out.

"Its time isn't it"
Her lips curved into a sad smile as her hand reached for hers.

"We both knew the time would come. It will be hard for both of us but it was never to be forever."

"I know that. I always knew."
The simple sadness in her voice struck the man who had been the boy who had stolen her heart.

"Its time Mama. You need to go back. You need to fulfil your life."
The wisdom of the man he had become made her smile once again

"you remind me more everyday of your grandfather. "
The realization she would never again have that pleasure burned in her heart but she knew he was right. She had lived a lifetime here but her life still waited back in that other time in that other place.

He bent and placed a soft kiss on his mothers forehead.
"Thank you Mama for loving me, for showing me how it should be. I will always be watching over you but our lives will never together again. Go home Mama and live the life you were meant for."

Her smile faded and tears ran freely down her face.
"My angel you gave me a life here and I have no regrets, not one. I just…"

He silenced her with a look of such knowing that she suddenly remembered that he had been an ancient life before he had become her son.
"Your soul needs to go home.. to be complete."

"How will I?" She asked her voice barely above a whisper

" The same way you came except that this time there will be no return. I will take you home."

"Home." She breathed and closed her eyes. Once again se felt his arms around her and then all was as it had been… almost


The silence was a presence in the room where he stood.
Mocking his life it screamed of his failure of the emptiness that now filled every moment.
Placing his hand against the frigid cold of the window pane he stared up at the stars that once had held such pleasure for him they now seemed as worthless as the rest of this place, the place where he had created a home in the hope….. the hope that one day.
He drew a long breath and closed his eyes that hope was dead now, ripped away before he had even realised that was what he'd longed for all along.
The rush of anger and fear burned through his heart, it had been five years and that alone was the one thing that made him feel alive.

Coming here had been Beverly's idea. Medical leave. "Go home. Get some rest. This is your last chance to save your career."
Once those words would have been enough her warning had been stark.
He had known she was right, his career was in tatters but right now he could not have cared less. He hadn't cared for five long years.
At first he had been consumed by the need to find her or at least to find out what had happened but that had long since turned to a deep despair that he would never know.

Everyone else had moved on had learned to cope with her loss, let her go Even her mother albeit through denial insisting that her beloved daughter was still alive that she would have known if….
Even now that IF stilled his heart.
There had been no real alternative. They had searched for weeks and there had been no trace of her. She had vanished. One moment there the next gone. He had searched every corner of that damm ship and the quadrant they occupied and come up with nothing not one trace, not one clue.
She was just gone and with her everything that had made him the man he thought he was.
Desperation and anger had his constant companion he'd alienated everyone else. He couldn't bear their acceptance however reluctant sure they all had been devastated but gradually had moved on, something he just couldn't bear to do.

It had been five years but every day he felt as though a decade had passed. His life was leaving him behind and he could do nothing to stop the momentum.
He knew he had choices to make but standing here now in the darkness of this room all he could think about was the certainty that no choice he could ever make would make it right would never make him whole again.


Jean luc Picard the commander of the most powerful ship in the fleet, a man accustomed to making life and death decisions in the blink of an eye was at a loss.
He gazed at the fish bowl in the corner of his ready room waiting for the answers to jump out and hit him smack in the forehead.
The past five years had been achingly difficult period of his command. The whole crew had been tested on a number of levels but no more than his first officer.
He had thought there would never be a circumstance in which his faith in the one he called `Number one' would be lessened but lately that faith had been shaken to the very core.
Will Riker had become withdrawn and bitter performing his duties as if it were a daily penance. The ship and crew had never been at risk but lately he had found himself studying every decision the man made, watching for the mistake before it came.
Making the decision to send him on ordered sick leave seemed like the least detrimental option but he hadn't even the courage to face Riker with the news but hid behind Beverly while she fired the shot at a dying man.
He'd expected anger, a defensive attack but a blank acceptance had accompanied Crushers orders.
A wave of trepidation had rushed through him as he'd sat facing will Riker suddenly realising that it mattered very little to the man before him where he was in the universe, here or there made no difference.

His resignation had been an expectation he'd prayed wouldn't be fulfilled but it had arrived across the light years to twist the knife of guilt in his gut a little harder.
His comm badge activating broke him from his contemplation.

"Worf to Picard"

"Picard here, What is it Worf?"

"We have an intruder sir."

"On my way."
So welcome for the interruption Picard bolted from his chair and headed for the bridge.

"Situation Mr Worf?"

"A security team has apprehended the intruder Sir. Shes requesting to speak to you."


"Yes sir. She asked the team to escort her to sickbay and requested your presence."

"Did she now?"
He started to make his way to the turbo lift

"You have the bridge Mr Worf."

Arriving at sickbay the captain was more annoyed than intrigued. An intruder on the federation flagship making requests for an audience with the captain himself still he reasoned it had to be preferable than dealing with what lay waiting on his desk.
Entering the double doors as he spotted the back of Beverly Chrusher's lab coat.
He froze as the individual before came into view.
Long ebony curls and luminous eyes swam into view. Chills ran up his spine and the breath caught in his throat as her melodious voice called to him.

"Hello captain."