Of Warps and Men
By Mia


"Warp 3.5."

"I agree, Dr... 3.5."

"You really think so?... I wouldn't be so modest about it" Dr. Crusher and the lounge host, Guinan, turned to look at Counselor Troi wide eyed.

"Counselor, are you trying to tell us you have enough evidence to support your statement?" Guinan's white smile lit up the table, making Deanna cough nervously.

"Oh no! No at all, it's just that... well, don't you think the man deserves a 5.5 or 6 at least? Give him some credit please!"

Beverly Crusher looked at Lt. Barclay. Yes, he was slow and insecure of himself most of the time and yes, he was shy and always quiet, but that didn't mean he couldn't be a good lover. Suddenly, the old terran saying about quiet men came to her mind and smiled at what she then saw.

"OK, it can be 5.5... the man has potential," concluded Beverly taking another sip of her drink "Hey, Deanna you're right, these tequila's are fantastic!"

"Yes they are, they give you a ..." she searched for the correct words... "a much more open view of the universe and it's creations" she ended up bursting into laughter.

Geordi observed the three women from his position at the bar. The three of them were certainly very good friends, despite the age difference's between them. They were all seated, as usual, the same way every Thursday evening since they'd all returned to the Enterprise E, At the corner table, all of them looked to the rest of the lounge's occupants to be having some drinks, snacks, and most of all, a very animated conversation, probably about the week's events. Just the same as every other Thursday evening. What Geordi didn't know was that the two female officers and the lounge host were actually having a very animated conversation about their male comrades. Cataloguing and classifying them according to their manly assets. Or as they put it, according to their Warp Power.

"OK Deanna, who's next!" Beverly asked excitedly at seeing Deanna's mischievous smile.

"Lt. Cmdr. Petersson from Astrophysics!" all three women passed a quick hand on their hair to look sharp and smiled as the doors of the lounge opened and the gorgeous and athletic officer walked into the lounge.

"Oh my..." Beverly discretely admired Petersson and said to their friends "Warp 8 I'll say" All three agreed and joined their tequila shots in the air before sipping the contents. At that moment, Guinan saw Deanna's eyes opening wide. Guinan smiled inwardly before asking.

"OK, who is it?"

"No one" she replied nervously but the door opened revealing their former Security Officer who had come on board for a brief period.

"All right Counselor, this one's yours" Guinan and Beverly laughed. Deanna smiled briefly, hating the clinging sound of the shot's her friends had just joined in front of her, and hated even more, the silly smiles on their faces. "Come on Counselor, we're waiting…" Guinan pushed forcing Deanna to give them a defeated smiled.

"OK... 7.5 perhaps 7.8" she said quietly.

"Deanna! You certainly are a highly demanding officer." Beverly couldn't finish before exploding into laughter. But Deanna didn't care, her sweet vengeance came just in time, a sarcastic smile already drawn on her face.

"Well Dr. I think now it's your turn!" turning to Guinan, she lifted her shot "OK here it comes!" she just couldn't wait. Beverly blushed all the way down to her cleavage when she saw Captain Picard entering the lounge. "Come on Dr.... we're waiting."

"Yeah Dr. And please... don't be modest."

"Oh, shut up girls!"

"Hey! I had to score the Fedorian Prime Minister and his three escorts last week, and Deanna has just scored Worf!, now it's your turn."

"Well, according to what I've seen in sickbay..."

"Ooohhh come on!" Both Deanna and Guinan interrupted but Beverly insisted.

"According to what I've seen in sickbay I will say 7.5."

"Ohhh! My! Who would have thought so" Guinan orderer another round of snacks and a new "apple juice" bottle.

"OK here comes Data" Beverly saw the second officer coming in and took the opportunity to change the subject. "So, what do you think girls?"

"I think he's very attractive for an android…"

"You're right Guinan, he's been perfectly designed... I wonder if all of his body parts have been that perfectly designed too."

"Deanna!... you're the worst!" Beverly laughed.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you've never wondered about it."

"No, I haven't, but your smile tells me you have!"

"Well, Tasha and I were the best of friends."

"So?" Guinan didn't understand.

"God, I promised never to tell anyone this."

"Tell what?!" Guinan asked as she ate a snack.

"She and Data once..."

"Really?!" Beverly was shocked "What else she told you?"

"That he was definitely a 9.5." All three women remained watching the android for a while until Will Riker entered the lounge.

Riker saw the three women on their weekly routine and smiled at them, and when he'd seen the waiter Ben going to them with more "apple juice" he rolled his eyes smiling and walked away.

"OK Counselor, seems to me that tonight it's your call... but this time, don't let other feelings get in the way." Beverly smiled at her friend returning the quick ball from some minutes ago, but Deanna knew better.

"Dr. As I recall, you are also capable of giving us an accurate score here…" she was pleased to see her friend blush again but felt sorry for her and added "OK I'll start" and turned to look at the First Officer.

He was standing at Picard and Worf's table at the far wall, his leg leaned over the bench and his arm resting on his knee. His strong upper leg was stupendous. She remembered his strong arms around her and his big, but tender warm hands running all over her body making her skin burn. His kisses that could take her away on a wave of passion. His hairy chest and..."

"Deanna, hello?... Enterprise to Counselor Troi" Beverly imitated the computer's voice.

"OK, warp 9.8, but I'll check that for you girls if you want" she try to sound serene and smiled "Bev, what do you think?" Beverly remained silent..."Bev..." Guinan felt sorry for the good doctor, that hadn't been easy for her for most of the evening.

"Oh Counselor, why on earth did you have to get back with him?, now we won't be able to talk about his nice butt!"

FIN :)