From: mriana 

This one is depressing.  A real tear jerker.  Esp. if you are an only
child like I am, so I can guess how Deanna is going to feel even if
there were differences between her and the other.  Whoops, I forgot
about Barin, well most of her life she was an only, so let's just take it
from there and over look my faux pas, please.

Disclaimer:  Paramount owns all of the Trek Universe and I just live
here on Earth.  Don't own that either.  Actually, I wouldn't want such a
responsiblity, so they can have it if I can temporarily live in the Trek
Universe from time to time.  I promise not to pollute it.  :)

Feedback:  Please.

The Fourth Loss

Will and Deanna had moved to Alaska quite some time ago and she
found it was very cold.  Deanna sometimes felt she was cold to the
bone and was never ever going to be warm again.  Tonight was one of
those nights.  Only this time it felt different.

Will had gone to San Fransico for the day and was about to return
anytime now, so she knew that was not it.  The feeling had hit her
hard about five hours ago. She felt the coldest chill and shivered at
that time and warmth had not returned yet.  She could not put a
finger on it, but some how this cold chill was different.

She had put the children to bed and decided to light the fire place to
add more heat to the house.  It had it's own heating system, but she
felt it would be more cozy to have a fire tonight.  She felt an
emptiness inside her which made the feeling of the chill even worse.
Something was wrong, but Deanna could not figure out what it was.

She downloaded the day's messages onto a padd so she could sit in front
of the fireplace to read them.  "Maybe between the fire and news from
home or something will make me feel warmer."  She thought.

She walked with the pad in her hand and pulled a rocker over towards
the fire, so she could feel the warmth more.  "I feel more cold than
usual, tonight and I can't figure out why."  She thought.  "I hope I'm
not getting sick."

She sat down into the rocker and activated the pad.  A list of messages
popped on the small screen.  As another shiver of cold ran through her
body, Deanna scrolled through the messages.

Then she saw a message from Betazed.  Suddenly, she felt like ice.
Like an avolanch had buried her alive.  "I must be coming down with
something."  She thought.

The message was from Chandra, her best friend back home.  She tried
to smile as she started to open it, but the emptiness with in her
became stronger and she paused.  "What's wrong with me!" She thought.
"It's just a letter from Chandra.  I'm acting silly."  She thought.
"Deanna, get a grip on yourself.  This is rediculous even for you!"

She opened the message and read it.  Her face became ashened from
the news from back home.  For what seemed like an eternity to her,
Deanna stared out into space.  Unmoving, as images of her childhood
and adulthood passed through her mind.

Finally, her eyes weld up with tears and she began crying hard.  She
could not stop the flow of tears and she began shaking very hard.  Her
whole body trembled as she tried to read the rest of the letter on the
pad through all the tears.

Will walked into the house and saw Deanna sitting in front of the
fireplace reading what was on the pad.  He saw her crying and
shaking, so he ran over to comfort her.  As her knelt down in front of
her, she threw her arms around him for all the comfort in the
universe she could retrieve from him.  They were now both on their
knees holding each other, as Will tried to comfort her.

Deanna cried violently into his shoulder as Will said with concern in his
voice,  "Deanna, what's wrong?"

"She's gone, Will!"  She shouted through the tears.  "Gone!"

"Who is?"  He asked softly and gently rubbing her back to comfort her.

"Mother!"  She scream through all the shaking and tears.

"I'm sorry, Deanna."  He said as he continued to hold her and kissed
the side of her head.  "How?  Why?"

"I.. I.."  She sobbed.  "I can't read anymore."

Will gently and slowly pushed her back and held out his hand.  "May

She released him with one hand and handed the pad to him.  Then she
sobbed,  "I know she was getting on in years, but I hadn't expected this."
Then she buried her head back into Will's shoulder.

As he held her with one hand he read what was on the pad, aloud.

"Deanna, I know this will come to you as a shock, as it did all of us
who knew her.  I really don't know how to say this, for I've never had
to tell someone such news.  It really grieves me to even tell you."

Will took a deep breath as he tried to read the rest of it as difficult
as it was, but Deanna stopped him.  "Please, I don't want to hear this
again."  She cried.

Deanna felt her heart was in her throat as she cried.  The emptiness
was even greater than before and she clinged hard to Will, in hopes of
filling that void, as Will read the rest to himself.

"I don't know of an easy way to break this to you.  Not even if you
were not my best friend, but today around 1400 hours, according to Mr.
Homn.  He wrote it out to us all."

Will could tell Chandra had been struggling with writing this letter and
was stalling to find the words.  Will tried to choke back the tears as
he read.  A lump was growing in his throat as he read the rest of the
letter.  He felt the tears coming to his eyes and struggled to hold
them back.

"Anyway, your mother laid down to take a nap because she was feeling
very tired and had complained of light headedness.   Mr. Homn
apparently did not think a thing of it, for he went about his work as
he usually does.  Hours past and I guess Mr. Homn got concerned, so
at 1800 hours, four hours later, he checked on her.  There was no
response.  I have no idea how long it took for him to come to the
conclusion Mrs. Troi needed to be looked in on by a doctor.  He did not

Tears started to roll down Will's eyes.  With all the differences he had
with his mother-in-law, he still loved her like she were a mother to
him.  He could feel Deanna's pain as she cried on his shoulder.

"The doctor looked in on her and said she had died in her sleep.  He
could not contribute her passing to anything but natural causes.  Her
heart just stopped."

"Well, at least she went peacefully."  Will said to console himself, but
he knew he could not say the words aloud.  Not to Deanna.  Not now at

He continued reading through his own tears.  "Deanna, I am so sorry.  I
can't tell you how much I feel for you.  Words can not explain it.  I
have to go. Please call me soon, for they want you to confirm the
arrangements that were made for her.  I know that is probably very
hard for you right now, but it can't wait.  I have to go.  I'm very sorry,
Deanna.  Chandra."

"I am so sorry, Deanna."  Will said as he dropped the pad to the floor.
He held her in his arms and cried with her.

"Will."  She cried.  "You and the children are all I have now."

"Sh."  He said.  "It's OK.  We're here for you and will be for a long

Her violent shaking had subsided as Will held her and tried to comfort
her.  They grieved together in front of the warmth of the fireplace in
each others arms.

Will felt Deanna's pain at her loss and felt he could empathize with
her feelings of not having a mother.  He understood her statement of
him and the children being all she had left.  For now, she was the
oldest of the Troi family and now she had no mother and father in this

Deanna tried hard to fill the emptiness within her by hanging onto
Will.  She was greatful for his presence and his comfort, for she did
not know what she would do without her Imzadi at a time like this.  If
it were not for him, she would not have had anyone at this time in her

They sat in front of the fireplace way into the night.  Holding and
comforting each other.  Then finally, they found the strength to talk
about times with Lwaxana Troi.  Who, through all the arrogance, put
downs, and her odd sort of teasing and humour, they now missed very
dearly, but hoped she was resting in peace.