Eternity-
They say life flashes before your eyes. I think flash is too strong a word. It crawled before my eyes, tantalizing, teasing me with old memories that happened so long ago that it could have been someone else. But, it was me. It was my life. 'Was' is also the operative word. Prior to now I had life. Now, my last now, my last moment. Held forever in the eternal fermata that resonates through my brain. My soul.
Her hand was there. Centimeters, the tinest distance from my hand, but it was
parsecs of space, eons of time that we didn't, and yet forever had.
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His hand was there. It seems foolish of me to wish I had touched it. What is
one last moment of physical contact after a lifetime of knowing his soul? It
was something. Something I shouldn't be mourning now, but I am. I fear I wil
always carry this foolishness. I who was never interested in the physical, care
that I could not reach his hand before we died.
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Before we died we were so happy. So alive. I've always been more alive with
her. Hell, I'm more everything with her. I didn't know what life was without
her. Now I do. Now as I watch that bolt of energy grow larger so slowly on the
viewscreen, I will know death with her. And that is the greatest comfort. She
will not suffer without me. She will not be without me. We are together, and
for that reason I do not fear. What is left to fear?
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I expected to be afraid. To grieve for myself, to deny that it was happening,
that it could happen to me now, that it would ever happen at all. Life does
go on forever doesn't it? The light is blinding now, my eyes sting and I want
to blink them, to move my hands to block out the light. But even that though
will take more time then we have.
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We have all the time in the universe now imzadi. You see that don't you?
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I see you imzadi. I see you in every motion of my life. In the time that holds
us forever here I see you, and I have peace.
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Peace Deanna. That's all it is, all it was, and all it will be. It's so clear
now.
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Of course it's clear. What did you expect?
===
I expected the same thing you did.
Us.
-fin-