This is my answer to "The phase" challenge, thought
I'd join SJ and Izzy...so all I can say is I tried.
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all…and frankly after this
story…I’m glad they do…I don’t want it.
Rated: R (content..just to be safe)
This one took about 30 minutes to write….it’s not too
neat..and no beta…so be kind.
“Captain Riker are you all right?” Geordi asked the
Captain of the USS Titan who was sitting numbly in
ten-forward staring down at his drink.
“Uh?” Riker suddenly looked up as if he were startled
by his friends voice.
“Hey.” Geordi nervously laughed. “It’s me…are you
“Yeah…no…. Hell, I don’t know, Geordi.” Riker
exhaled as he quickly downed his water logged drink,
making a face as he swallowed.
“You seem to be light years away.”
“It may be better if I was.”
“Geordi…” Riker began and then as if he changed his
mind, his mouth clamped shut and he glanced down at
the table shaking his head. “Have a seat.” Riker
gestured with a wave of his arm.
“What’s on your mind?” Geordi asked as he sat down at
“Nothing.” Riker lied.
“You don’t think I’d understand do you?”
“It’s not that you wouldn’t understand…. Geordi.”
“Geordi, I’m married now.” Riker rolled his eyes.
“Well the only time I’ve seen you like this, it’s when
you’ve had women problems.”
“Okay, it’s something like that.” He stated almost
embarrassed to admit it.
“It’s Ensign Williams isn’t it? The one with the big
boobs and the small brain?” Geordi smiled at his
Riker returned his smile with a lopsided grin. Riker
knew that there wasn’t an Ensign Williams on the ship
and the lame remark was Geordi’s attempt to get him to
“It’s…It’s…” Riker began. “Oh hell, Geordi. It’s
Deanna all right.” He quickly blurted out in a
“The Counselor?” Geordi asked with amazement.
“She’s not pregnant again is she?”
You mean you and she…you’re not?” Geordi continued to
guess as he intertwined his finger together in an
unmistakable gesture meaning they were fighting.
“No…no we’re not bickering, no arguments nothing like
that. Hell, that would be easy.”
“So what’s the problem? I mean the two of you are a
couple and you’re best friends and you appear to be
happily married…you are happy aren’t you?”
“Oh yeah, I’m happy. Deanna’s perfect.” Riker shifted
in his chair and his face twisted and he made a
wincing sound as if he were in pain.
“Is there another woman?” Geordi asked ignoring the
look of discomfort on his friend’s face.
“No. Hell no.” The Captain of the USS Titan appeared
appalled at the suggestion of him cheating on his
“No nothing like that.” Riker lifted up his glass
towards the bartender motioning for another drink. He
shifted in his chair slightly and winced in pain again
as he adjusted himself in his chair.
“Yeah I’m fine. The chairs get hard after awhile.”
“The chairs are padded with plenty of cushion. I’d
call them plush, wouldn’t you?” Geordi didn’t believe
it for a minute and Riker knew it.
“Geordi, what’s a healthy sex life?” Riker asked the
question before he realized what he had said.
“Hell if I know.” Geordi laughed as the thought of
his dating experiences flashed quickly across his
mind. “You’re talking to Geordi remember? The last
time I revved up a lady’s engine….” He paused as if
he were remembering. “Oh yeah, I remember her name it
was…. The Enterprise.”
Riker smiled and waved to the bartender to bring
another round of drinks, afraid that he hadn’t seen
him the first time. After nodding back at the
bartender he turned it attention towards Geordi.
“The two of you aren’t having any problems in that
area are you?” Geordi asked.
Riker blushed slightly not really sure he wanted to
pursue the conversation any further or not. He
studied Geordi for a long moment, and then finally
decided what the hell and he continue. “No not at all
it’s great…it’s just that.”
“Deanna’s in the phase.”
“It’s a phase Deanna warned me about years ago. You
see all Betazoid women go through it, and their sex
“Quadruples?” Geordi repeated in amazement.
“Or more.” Riker stated soberly.
“Or more?” Riker felt as if Geordi’s eyes were going
to pop out of his head at any moment. “It’s that more
that’s killing me.”
“You did say she warned you?”
“Oh yeah she warned me all right, but I was young and
eager, hell more than eager and thought…. I can
handle it, never really gave it a second thought. Too
much testosterone and not enough brains I guess.”
“You are handling it aren’t you?” Geordi asked not
wanting to get too personal.
“Oh yeah, I can stay in the race, physically, mentally
and performance wise it’s fine. That’s not it.”
“Well, then…. I’m sorry but I don’t understand.”
“It’s getting sore.” Riker stated under his breath,
hoping silently that his friend didn’t hear him.
“What…? Did you say...Sore?”
Riker suddenly exploded in a whisper. “Yes, and if
you repeat a word of this….”
“Well, I’ll be damn.” Geordi sat back in his
cushioned chair once again.
“It’s red as a beet Geordi…. Too much friction and
too much action.”
“Friction?” Geordi couldn’t hide the smile that was
now beginning to spread across his face.
“Geordi, I’m not talking once a day…. Or even twice.
I’m talking ten to fifteen times a day, plus all night
long. And it’s been this way for the last four
months.” He whispered across the table making sure no
one overheard the private conversation.
Geordi remained silent and leaned forward and listened
“When I was younger I used to think that if I didn’t
have sex on a regular basis it would back up and I’d
die from pneumonia…And now the damn things got a red
nose and a fever…. And using it too much is killing
“Yeah, but what a way to die.”
“Hell, it hurts when I touch it. This damn tight
uniform is killing me.”
“Will, maybe you should see the Doctor.”
“Beverly? Like hell I will, she’s the last one I want
to know about this.”
“Yeah, I see your point.”
“If I tell Deanna no. If I refuse her…. She’ll take
it personal and be devastated. I can’t do that.”
“Maybe if you explain…”
“What? Explain that little Willie is inflamed and
Geordi could no longer hide his smile or his laughter;
Riker glared at him in fury.
“I’m sorry Will…I really am. I don’t mean to laugh….
It’s just that….”
[[Troi to Captain Riker]] Riker inhaled and exhaled
and rolled his eyes before he tapped the badge on his
[[Yeah, Deanna…. go ahead]]
[[Could I see you in my office, Captain?]]
[[On my way. Riker out.]]
Will quickly downed his drink and slowly stood to his
feet, tugging on his uniform pant’s leg he winced in
“She wouldn’t… In her office would she?” Geordi
“Do I look like I need therapy, Geordi? Of course she
Geordi watched as Riker straddled bow legged as he
exited out of ten-forward and he couldn’t hide the
huge grin that was now spanning across his face.
“Yep, give him a week he’ll be in Beverly’s sickbay.”
He stated to no one.