Asking for Trouble 2
All right, all right, Im coming. Thomas called out toward the living room door.
Oh its you. He said as his shoulders fell somewhat.
Expecting someone else? Riker asked smiling.
Yeah, two naked ferengi dancers and a Klingon cross dresser.
Lets go out for a drink.
Because I need to talk to someone. Riker said, Deanna and I had a fight.
Your stupid shit or her stupid shit?
Lets go for a drink.
Its too damn cold to go out. Thomas said, I swear this is the coldest night ever, its the coldest in Alaskan history. I was outside earlier and I damned near froze my hands off.
Riker stepped through the doorway. You have anything to drink?
Is Alaska cold in the winter time? Thomas replied with a sly smile, and a boyish glitter to his eye.
Thomas poured two drinks, and both men sat at the table. So what did you and Deanna fight about?
I dont want to talk about it. Riker answered, downing the entire contents of the glass down his throat.
You said you did.
I lied. He stated simply, refilling his glass. You sure you dont want to go out to a bar?
No, its too damn cold outside. Thomas said, chugging down his drink as well. Im glad you came over though. So what did the two of you fight about, Deanna catch you in bed with another woman?
Riker looked at his brother in confusion and then rolled his eyes. Hell no.
Didnt think so, but I had to ask.
Why in the hell did you have to ask?
Because Alaska is weird, it isnt anything like it was when I grew up here.
How so? Riker asked, pouring himself another drink.
I was supposed to have a date tonight, but, now get this--- he said leaning closer into his brother. She, meaning Synthia sends me a communiqué that states, She cant make it, not tonight, not now, not ever. She heard that I was married and then she starts ranting and raving and calling me a son of a bitch and a few other colorful words, really started to piss me off.
So are you?
Am I what?
A son of a bitch?
Well of course. Thomas chuckled, But I sure as the hell am not married. Thomas got up from the table, brought back a bottle of lemon juice, and sat it on the table. Synthia plucked her eyebrows, I dont know why in the hell she did that, and it made her look like she was thinking about something serious all of the time. So what did the two of you fight about?
I said I dont want to talk about it. Riker reiterated. What in the hell is that for? He asked referring to the lemon juice.
Put some in your bourbon.
Oh come on, its good.
No its not.
I met this woman in town the other day, and she told me about it. She said to put a teaspoon of lemon juice in bourbon, so I did. It was good.
It was good, or she was good?
It was good. Thomas answered, pouring a capful of lemon juice into his shot of bourbon, She of course was married, but hell who cares if their married or not. I dont.
My wife is married, youd better care.
She doesnt count. Thomas stated, making a twisted face from the lemon juice in the bourbon.
What the hell does that mean? Riker asked, snatching bourbon bottle from his brother and filling up his glass.
I mean I used to fantasize about Deanna. I used to dream about her all the time, and then all of a sudden I stopped. Damn, those were awesome dreams; she had the best-looking ass, she still does actually. . .
Hey! Riker cut in. Do you mind?
Thomas snapped his head towards his brother, Im sure the last thing you want to hear about is sex. Thomas shrugged, Who knows . . .your little fishing boat may be in dry land for a while.
My fishing boat is none of your damn business, and youre not talking about sex, youre talking about my wifes ass.
Im used to being docked.
Youre about to be decked, if you dont stop talking about Deanna.
Okay, I swear this is the last time Ill bring this up. What in the hell did you and Deanna fight about?
Will you shut up about that fight?
I will when you wipe that Deanna and I had a fight look off your face. Thomas said, pouring a capful of lemon juice into Rikers glass. This will help get rid of it. Try this.
Riker downed the shot of bourbon down his throat, his face twisted, and Thomas smiled at Riker reaction. Damn, thats disgusting, Tom.
Thomas broke out in a full laugh, when the laughter faded, Riker asked, Remember, Betsy Ryan?
In third grade, that Betsy Ryan? Thomas asked, his mind recalling the skinny, blonde with knobby knees, freckles and buckteeth. Of course I remember her. Why?
I saw her the other day.
At the market. Shes got grand-kids, knobby kneed, freckled faced little-grand children.
Damn, shes a grand-mother? Thomas said shaking his head, he stood to his feet and made his way to the couch. Were getting old, Riker.
Are your neighbors nice?
How in the hell would I know, I dont know my neighbors. Thomas said, wondering just what his half-drunken brother was getting at.
Youre the one who said you were old. All old people know their neighbors. Riker laughed.
Yeah, I know. Im a mess. Riker laughed making his way to the couch. Suddenly Riker looked down and lying on the floor in front of Thomas was Virgil, Toms dog, and perhaps one of the ugliest dogs Riker has ever seen.
Are you sure Virgil is a puppy? Riker asked, picking up the small dog and examines it. He looks old. The small animal that Riker would have sworn was a genetic mistake looked directly at him and wagged its three haired tail. Hi, whatever in the hell you are.
Dont make fun of my dog, Will. Thomas answered looking up towards his brother.
He still shit on the puppy pads?
Can I tell you something?
I got Virgil because he was so unattractive, and just plain god awful ugly, but Ive grown used to him.
Its pissing on me, Thomas! Riker shrieked, immediately putting the puppy down on the floor.
They do that when they are scared. Thomas shrugged, taking another mouthful of bourbon.
That little bastard didnt look scared to me, he looked like he was happy, and all the while he was pissing on me. Riker said, his face full of disgust. Im going to go wash off. Riker walked into the kitchen and began to wash himself off the spot on his leg with a cloth. You sure you dont want to go out to a pub?
Im not going out with anyone that smells like dog piss. Thomas yelled out towards his brother. Then he began to mumble to himself. That dog piss freeze on you, then you know its cold outside.
Hey, Ive got a message. Thomas stumbled to his feet. Yeah. He said, sitting down to the vid-screen.
Thomas is Will there? The image of Deanna appeared on the viewer.
Yeah, but hes wiping dog crap off of his leg.
Its not dog crap. Riker sounded from the other room, throwing the towel in the garbage, he made his way towards Thomas and stated through clenched teeth, Its dog piss.
Will? Deanna stated his name in almost a whisper.
Yeah. The tone of his voice matched hers.
You dont mind eating late do you?
No. he whispered, he cant help his mind from thinking just how truly beautiful her face was.
Im cooking supper if you want to come home. He voice sounds nervous and unsteady.
Id like to come home.
He cant drive the land rover. Hes drunk. Thomas butted in, his eyes bloodshot and his voice slurred.
Deanna laughed at that, It figures. She said, Thomas would you like to eat dinner with us?
Me? Thomas asked looking from Will to Deanna and then back towards Will. Sure. Can Virgil come?
Hell no. Riker answered a little too fast.
Ill be over there in about fifteen minutes to pick you two up, all right?
Deanna? Riker stated, looking at the vid-screen. Im sorry for being such a jackass.
She didnt say anything she simply smiled, and he knew that he was immediately forgiven. Thomas, you can bring Virgil. She said and then the screen faded to black.
So what did the two of you fight about? Thomas asked, as he looked under the couch for the small animal.
It was stupid really.
I understand stupid. Thomas said, standing to his feet. My best drinking buddy is stupid.
She was talking to a fellow doctor today and I got a little jealous, all right.
Who? Couldnt be an old boyfriend, because theres none around here, but me. And the Gods know Im harmless.
Harmless, my ass. Youre dangerous. Riker laughed, And also insane. Youre putting a damn coat on your dog, for Christs sake.
Its too cold for Virgil without a coat.
That's pathetic, why in the hell do you do pathetic things all the time Tom? Anyone ever tell you you're pathetic?
Who was it?
Just some, handsome, tall, young, sophisticated jack-ass.
You kick his butt for putting the moves on your wife?
No, Deanna would have kicked me out for good for doing something stupid like that.
So everythings fine now?
Yeah, I think so.
You still drunk? Thomas asked.
Yeah, I think so.
Deanna still a lousy cook?
Yeah. Riker smiled.
The drunker we are the better it tastes, right? So we take Virgil over to dinner and feed him under the table if we have the misfortune of sobering up. Thomas stated, his blue eyes glittering with mischief. After a moment of silence, Riker displayed the same mischievous smile.
You get the bottle. Riker said, Ill get Virgils hat.