”Choices” – first person piece; Will’s POV

Author Pia Pedersen

Summary: Will reflects on his and Deanna’s choices, and on the consequences they bear.


Disclaimer: It’s not mine; it never was, and it never will be.






I smile back at her, returning the greeting as she steps into the turbo lift.


Her eyes shine - but not for me.


Never again will I be able to look into her eyes and know that they shine only for me.


She is mine no longer.


The admission is painful; I always had hope – I put my trust in fate, in Imzadi.


’Imzadi is forever’, I told myself, ‘she will return to me.’


But she won’t, I know that now.


I see it in her eyes.


She is in love – but not with me.


We exchange no words, for I am afraid that if I spoke, she would know.


I smile only to hide the pain.


She would know my heart is breaking … if I spoke.


So I keep silent.


I keep silent, when I should tell her I love her – tell her that my life is worth nothing if she is not in it. 


I should tell her, but I won’t.


 I can’t.


Not anymore.


She made her choice, and she chose another.


So I smile and act like my world is not crumbling.


She is my Imzadi.


I love her.


But she will never know.


Unless I choose to break down the walls between us …


 But dare I risk it?


I look at her, and my heart aches.


Dare I not?


“Deanna …”


She turns to me, nodding.


The lift stops; he is there.




“It can wait,” I say.


And I smile; still I smile.


Will the pain go on and on?


It can wait … 


That was my choice – to wait.


I waited; but I waited too long.


And now she is gone.