”Different Choices I”

Author Pia Pedersen

Summary: Deanna is presented with a decision that could change hers and Will’s lives forever 

Disclaimer: It’s not mine; it never was, and it never will be.

******************

The laughter of the Enterprise’s officers has drawn me out of my self-induced solitude, and I find myself sitting among them in Ten Forward.

I have never felt so alone.

She’s here, with Worf.

Of course she is.

I can’t look at her, so I turn away from them.

Infinity – that’s what I see, looking at the stars out there.

Eternity is what I see when I look at Deanna, an eternity of love.

When I look at her, that’s what I see – even now.

I have to tell her.

I can’t keep waiting.

“I … “

Her voice … the softness of her words …

It calls me back, and I look at her, at them.

He’s on his knees, holding her delicate hand in his.

~ No! ~

I open my mouth to speak, to scream …to do something to stop this. 

And she looks at me.

She’s smiling.

***

I’m aware of him, of his presence, the way I always am.

The way I always have been.

He looks so sad, and he won’t look at me.

I miss him, desperately.

I must tell him.

Tonight.

I have to …

Worf is in front of me; he’s on his knees.

My mind is in turmoil.

He’s asking me to marry him.

~ Oh, Will, where did we go wrong? ~

“I … “

I know I must refuse.

I know there’s only one man I could ever marry.

In this moment, for the first time in forever, I hear Will in my mind.

I hear his plea, his desperation.

And I look at him.

He’s smiling.

***

I heard her, in my mind.

It feels incredible.

I smile.

I really smile.

It’s time to break down the walls between us.

Now is the time.

She turns to him again.

I hold my breath.

***

Worf deals with my answer the way he deals with everything else – with honorable stoicism.

I respect him very much - I love him, even.

But not like I love Will, never like that.

It’s time to make some different choices.

Now is the time.

I rise from my chair and cross to where he is.

I know everyone is watching us, but I don’t care.

I don’t want to wait any longer.

***

I see her coming my way and decide to meet her halfway.

That’s what I should have done years ago.

But I don’t want to focus on the past anymore.

From now on, I will look to the future.

I will focus on Deanna.

She is my future.

“Will,” she says, and I reach for her hand, unable to keep from touching her.  

“Deanna.”

She’s smiling, and I lose myself once again in the depths of her eyes.

“Come with me.”

She follows me out of the lounge, and I feel every pair of eyes on us.

It doesn’t matter.

She’s all that ever really mattered to me.

It’s time to tell her.

It’s time she knew.

[-end-]