This is extremely fluffy, but the story wrote itself. Nothing I could do
... I guess Im just in that kind of mood today ...
Bear with me! ;-)
*
I can feel your presence even before I see your face. When you do emerge
you look tired, exhausted, and there is nothing I want more than to go to
you and let you lean on me, let you feed off my strength. But instead I
watch silently as she embraces you, and you draw her just a little closer,
whispering some words I dont hear. Nor am I sure I want to. It looks so
perfect, so calm, and I cant bring myself to interfere.
When she leaves I watch as the doors slide shut, and we are left alone.
For a moment I consider speaking, but words would just get in the way, I
decide. It seems to be the pattern with us, and I have no wish to
complicate things even further.
This is only temporary. I smile at the thought, and I wonder, briefly, if
you know whats on my mind as we step through the doors of the shuttle-bay
and end up out in the equally deserted corridor. Somehow I think you do.
This is not one-sided, after all. The bond is mutual, and it connects on a
profound level, deeper than the spoken word could ever hope to express.
Welcome home, I whisper, and you lean in to let your lips brush
over my
cheek. Its so simple a gesture and yet so important to both of us.
Thank you. There is a moment of the all-consuming silence that
seems to
dwell between us quite often lately. And then you take a step back and
look at me, really look at me. I I try to remember the last time a man,
any man, looked at me that way. I can't, and that really is kind of sad.
So I decide to stop that particular train of thought. Instead, I return
your quick smile. Suddenly, I feel strangely helpless, and I take a deep
breath. Another one. It's seems it's all I do around you these days, but
it helps.
We dont talk, but that doesnt mean nothing is said. Words just
seem so
insignificant, so unimportant in the bigger scheme of things. We only have
these short moments now, before something will take you away from me again
before you will have to tend to duties
and before you will go
back to
the woman who shares your life. The woman I cannot fight, because I know
she is whom you need at this time.
When you are ready, you will come to me. I know you will, just as I know
that I will wait for you. Maybe that's wrong, maybe I shouldn't. But I
will.
"Ive been thinking about you."
"You have?" I cannot help but smile a little in satisfaction that
despite
it all, in spite of all the insecurities between us, and everything that
is left unsaid, I'm still in your mind. Maybe I'm also, in all honesty, a
little relieved at that fact. As strange as that may sound, all things
considered.
"Is that so strange?"
"What were you thinking?" I ask, instead of answering your question.
"I miss you," you say, smiling at your own words, "but you already
know
that, don't you?" You move a little to the side, and I follow you almost
automatically. "Deanna?"
"Yes," I tell you, "I know."
"Does it matter to you anymore?" you ask, and I find it sad that
you have
to. You ought to know, but maybe things have changed too much between us
for any of us to want to assume anything with regards to the other. That
possibility is heartbreaking, and it isn't true. It can't be.
"Of course it does."
The change in you is tangible, and I find comfort in knowing that whatever
you do, I will always have this power over you. It makes the waiting a
little easier.
"Then I have a question for you." You smile, and I'm just a little
surprised. Suddenly, can't seem to read you, and the look in your eyes
tells me that you are well aware of that.
A question?
I wait, and when you open up to me again I stagger slightly under the
weight of your emotions. There is nothing hidden now, nothing cloaked
under the pretence of friendship. Not that theres anything wrong with
friendship not at all.
But this is so much better.
Is it too late, Deanna?
I want to say yes. A part of me want to say that it is too late that
youve waited too long. But I cant do that. I waited for you, and
I would
have waited longer yet. No one knows how long this will last, there are no
guarantees. Not even for you and me. But for now, I am willing to take a
chance and trust that we really have come far enough, and that we wont
make the same mistakes a second time.
So, instead, I step forward and repeat the words I said only moments ago.
But this time I let the words flow through my mind to yours, effectively
linking us even stronger than we already are, and you smile as you bring
me into your embrace. The moment stretches into forever, and I respond
softly as you touch your lips to mine again.
It feels so right, so true ...
It was inevitable.
[-end-]