Author: Pia Pedersen
Rating: G or PG. It's tame.
Dedication: You know who you are. I hope.
Author's note: More of the Trilogy is on the way. Thanks for the reviews, they are much appreciated and, honestly, needed. It has proven to be more difficult than I thought it would be . anyway, I know I have a few works in progress, but this very short story has been on my mind for the last few days. I thought it was time I listened and wrote it. It is not a song fic. Is it Imzadi? Yes and no. It could be. I guess it's up to you to decide. Let me know what you think. Just keep in mind that it was written in the space of an hour and is unedited.
Disclaimers are here.
It has been a while now since we saw each other last, and as comfortable as we usually are with each other, something is not quite right. There is something in the way you look at me, something in the way you cast your eyes away and busy yourself with paperwork that is just . off. I know I could never explain how or why to anyone . anyone other than you, that is.
I step out of the lift in time to see you turn the corner. When did the wall become this high between us? How is it possible that the words on my tongue, just on the tip of my tongue, became so hard to say? Has the chance passed for me to hold on to you?
Should I even want to hold on? Why do I want to so much?
Questions. Always questions. I suppose it is only fitting. We are explorers, each in our own way, after all.
You've disappeared now, and I go on with what I have to do; I proceed in the direction I have to go, with or without you. But it is only a show, and I know it; if you turned to look you would know it, too. Lately, your presence is stronger in my mind than it has been before. So, wherever I go, no matter what I do, you are always with me, in one way or another.
It scares me, sometimes more than I want to admit, and sometimes I want nothing more than to hide, to walk away and stop wondering. Once in a while I wish I could just stop . feeling.
I am not supposed to feel this way, not now. Not so much. Not about you.
But I do. I do. Someday I will tell you, some day, when the time is right, I have to let you know.
I wish you would look at me now, let me see what's in your eyes, like you did before. I wish you would smile. Somehow it all seems less complicated when you do, for the both of us.
Maybe it's too much too ask, because I know it's cold outside. I know you are struggling, too, even though you do not tell me how or why.
Yes, it's cold outside. So cold, suddenly, I feel it, the icy wind cuts so mercilessly, and I fight to hold on. I have to; I need to face this day, and the next one, and the one after that.
And I will.
I just hope you will be there, because I need you. It's cold outside, and I need you to turn to.
Will you be there?