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TITLE: Eternity's Children DISCLAIMER: Characters are the property of Paramount/Viacom, (Peter David) etc.. The ideas expressed herein are copyright by me. This story is not for profit and may be archived anywhere, so long as no monetary benefit shall be obtained for same, and proprietary/copyright information remains intact. SUMMARY: An accident on an alien world forces Deanna Troi to come face to face with a paradox which threatens to consume her soul. Meanwhile, a confused Commander Riker must come to terms with his own mortality, his longstanding friendship with the Counselor, and the path he's chosen to walk for nearly seventeen years. NOTES: This story takes place some time before "Generations" and likewise assumes none of the movies which followed. It does assume, however, that Mr. Worf is already out of the picture. The premise explores several concepts I've wanted to for a while. The first is a stronger Deanna Troi, with a few surprises up her sleeve. The second is yet another take on the Peter David version of the "Imzadi" link, which I twisted in some (hopefully) as yet still interesting ways. My thanks to Peter David for a great deal of inspiration and for the use of several of his plot-points to bounce off of, as I took them for 'Canon' in my universe. For those unaware, the character of Chandra is out of Peter David's novel "Imzadi" -- she was once Deanna's childhood confidant and they were the very best of friends. (((Thoughts cast by others are in triple parentheses)))
"Ow. Damn. " Deanna Troi swore under her breath, placing one hand against the front of her forehead, she drew it back gingerly. Blood. She knew she'd hit her head the moment her body tumbled to the rough surface of the cave floor, in the instant before everything went black. Now, some undetermined time later, she began to rise, her throat dry from the suffocating stillness of the air in the cave, her head pounding as though she'd spent the last four or five hours banging it against a bulkhead. "Will?" Her thoughts began to focus once again, she found herself thinking of him immediately. "Will, are you alright?" There was no answer. Temporarily disoriented, Deanna let the edges of her mind creep outward in hopes of brushing against his. It was something which was as natural as breathing for her . . . natural, that is, without a head injury to bar her progress. Wincing in pain, she withdrew her attempt, silently cursing the failure. She'd have to locate him physically, at least until her head stopped pounding. Pressing her hands into the dusty surface of the cavern floor, Deanna found the leverage she needed to stand and slowly rose to her feet, grasping at a nearby wall momentarily when the sudden rise in blood pressure caused her surroundings to spin. From the far wall - or at least, what appeared in the darkness to be a shadowy outcropping of rock several meters away - she heard a faint groan. "Ensign Parker?" Her voice carried, despite it's weakness, throughout the cavern; a hollow, bleak sound, even to her own ears. She cleared her throat. "James...is that you?" They'd beamed down to the planet's surface as a threesome away team. Herself, Commander Riker and Ensign Parker from Astrometrics. It was to have been a routine, if impromptu mission. A localised meteorological phenomenon which had the potential to harbour a primitive life form worthy of study. Rhesuvius IV was an M class planet composed half of dessert and half of rainforest. The Enterprise had been on their way to Deep Space 5 when they'd discovered the anomalous readings. Most of the crew had been looking forward to shore leave on the station once they arrived, so it hadn't been a surprise when, after asking for three volunteers, the Captain had decided to continue on the short one day journey to Deep Space 5 and have a skeleton crew rendezvous two days later with the away team once they'd finished their reconnaissance. Deanna had been looking forward to shore leave herself, once this assignment was over. She remembered Will's boyish grin when he'd invited her to join him in one of the intricate holodeck programs Deep Space 5 was famous for all across the sector. She also remembered the tiny thrill she felt, watching his eyes light up when she'd accepted. That seemed like such a long time ago now. Such a terribly interminable distance away. Glancing up at the jagged rock-face all around her, Troi sighed and tapped her communicator, knowing what the result would be this deep underground, with so many nameless mineral deposits doubtless riddling the cavern structure. She tried anyway. ={Troi to Enterprise}= No response. She repeated herself and was met with the same eerie silence. As she'd feared, it seemed that communication was impossible. Creeping forward slowly, Deanna made her way along the wall, inch by inch, mindful of the unevenness of the floor beneath her. Dimly she was aware that she should probably have been far more panicked than she actually was. Their situation was far from appealing. Having tumbled nearly 20 feet into a darkened cave after a rock slide, she was lucky to be alive. And so was Parker...if that was him she'd heard. And Will.... Suddenly assaulted with the full magnitude of the situation, Deanna almost tripped over a soft, warm lump on the floor. It was definitely a person. Leaning down, careful not to move too quickly and upset the tenuous balance her head held onto, she groped in the darkness until she'd managed to turn the figure onto his back. "No...Oh Gods...No...." He was dead. That much was painfully clear. A hollow emptiness greeted Deanna's tentative mind-probe. She didn't need to check for a pulse, she already knew. But she *did* check. She checked because it was protocol, and because protocol was the only thing that was going to keep her sane. Ensign Parker was most definitely dead. Pulling herself up too quickly, Deanna clutched the wall while she caught her breath and reoriented her balance. "Will? Will please...If you can hear me...say my name, anything...please answer me..." In the dark silence of the cavern, she was rewarded with a repeat of the soft groan she'd heard earlier. It was Will. It had to be. If he could breathe then he was still alive. There was still hope, even if he couldn't answer her just yet. "Hang on Will. " Deanna moved forward along the wall once again, this time more quickly than before, the pain in her head all but forgotten to the new crisis. "I'm coming. Can you hear me?" There was no response. How had she managed to survive intact while her two crewmates had been hurt so badly? The thought, fleeting and upsetting as it was, wormed it's way into her consciousness while she struggled forward. Several eternal seconds later, Deanna was rewarded with the soft sound of laboured breathing directly in front of her. A shadowy figure lay, in disarray, at her feet. From some place far up above, the tiniest ray of light filtered down through a crack in the ceiling and she could make out the silhouettes of jagged boulders laying around them, surrounded by an eerie ethereal glow. She dropped to her knees and placed her hand against Commander Riker's temple. He was bleeding badly, and murmuring something unintelligible. "Will?" She whispered, half pleadingly. "Will if you can hear me...don't' give up! You're not going anywhere, and I'll be damned if I let you die in some cave before we've had a chance to talk things through!" "...eanna" It was faint. Faint enough so that she might not have heard it if she weren't concentrating as intently as she was on him. If she hadn't re-established some semblance of her empathic abilities. She could sense his pain, and disorientation. "Shhh...Will, it's ok. Don't try to move just yet. You're hurt. " She brushed her fingertips over the edge of his temple, smoothing an sticky lock of hair from his forehead and swallowing the growing lump in her throat. "...re you OK?" Panic. Urgency. She felt fear as well. It filled her, as his emotions always did, and she pressed these aside, replacing them instead with warmth and comfort. He was worried about her...he was probably dying, but he was worried about *her*. "I'm fine. " She whispered softly. "Ensign Parker wasn't as lucky Will...he didn't make it. " Will Riker sighed, and if she'd looked carefully, Deanna might have noticed that he almost nodded, imperceptibly. She felt selfish. Selfish and horrible for feeling relief that it had been James who hadn't made it though...and not Will. It was wrong of her to feel that way, and yet she did. It filled her with shame. But it was true. Parker was dead, Will Riker was alive and Deanna shut her eyes to block out the paradox in her mind. It wasn't working. As if on cue, she felt Will squeeze her hand. "Help me sit?" His soft voice intruded into her thoughts, mercifully diverting her from what she'd been imagining. "I don't know if that's such a good idea. I think I should look for the emergency med-kit first. " She shook her head and Will sighed again, this time at length. "I had it in my pack when we fell. " Riker tried to shift his weight but cried out in pain instead. For her part, Deanna tried not to wince as she felt the rush of agony whiplash through his body. It was impossible. "I think I found it...here..." Moving just a short distance from where he lay, Deanna uncovered the plain, Starfleet issue away team pack and opened it, allowing it's contents to tumble forth onto the cavern floor. Several days worth of emergency rations, a blanket and a hygiene kit spilled forward, followed by her prize. The mission med-kit. It's instruments were smaller than those in a full sick-bay, and carried less power, but they were the only hope she had right now. Adjusting the calibration of the medical tricorder, Deanna returned to Will's side and ran it twice over his head. After the second attempt, she let the instrument take readings from the rest of his body, and then shut it slowly. "So what's my prognosis, Doc?" Will's voice, which would have been jovial if it hadn't cracked when he spoke, did little to lessen the tension in the air. "You're going to be just fine. " She smiled down at him, a smile he saw as a tendril of light from the ceiling caressed her cheek. That was when he knew. Letting out a shallow breath, he nodded. "That bad huh?" "Will..." Her voice was soft. He longed to reach up and brush the wayward strands of hair which hung over her face away. To feel the softness of her skin as she turned her face into the palm of his hand the way she used to, once...a long time ago. It was ironic that clarity should come at a time like this. If it could even be called clarity. He'd had feelings like this for her every day since the day he stepped onboard the Enterprise. Even after they'd agreed to keep things strictly friendly, strictly professional. Placing one hand behind him, he tried once more to rise. This time, she assisted him without comment, helping him lean up against a smooth portion of rock behind him, though every movement felt like a thousand jackhammers playing against his skull. Deanna reached behind her and wrestled with the nearly empty supply pack for several seconds before extracting an unbroken phaser unit, which she turned on several rocks in the far corner of the cavern and lit them, bathing the room in a soft, orange glow. When she didn't speak immediately afterwards, Will did instead. "So, how about a few hands of poker...?" He was kidding. Of course, yet the immediacy of his predicament allowed Deanna to find no humour in his words. She met his gaze dead on, and his jaw nearly dropped when he saw her eyes flash. Dark with...anger? It was then that he was hit with something so powerful it nearly knocked him senseless. He could feel her...everywhere, inside of his mind, inside of his body, his heart...it was like she was a part of him...never before had he ever felt so completely whole in his entire existence. Not even on Betazed when they'd first been together. That had been incredible. Unimaginably wonderful. But this...? This was equally incredible...yet...different, somehow. Without thinking, he opened his mind to her, the way she'd taught him all those many years ago, and he felt the final pieces of the puzzle slide solidly into place. Too late, he tried to raise the shield. Too late, he'd attempted to cut the connection short. In one instant, she was with him everywhere, and in the next...he found himself with her. "Imzadi..." He whispered softly, meeting her dark, intense eyes. "What have you done?" The remorse in his voice was unmistakable. He knew. She could feel it as surely as she could now feel every beat of his heart...as he could feel hers. "I can't let you die...Will, not like this.... I--" Deanna shook her head, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Deanna...you can't do this...please...." "I can! Will Riker. I most certainly *can* and I have. There's no going back anymore. " She swallowed hard and he shut his eyes, wishing in vain that he'd understood sooner, that he'd remembered...something he'd been told on Betazed a long time ago. Deanna had given him the most precious gift her people could give. It was sacred...something only two Imzadi could share, and only in a moment of absolute desperation. Something she and he were never meant to offer one another, according to their vows. She was sharing his life force, she was keeping him alive...with her own. And now...if he died, so too would she. "Gods...Deanna...NO!" He fisted one hand and thrust it against the rock behind him, welcoming the pain he felt...feeding upon it before realising that she shared that too, with him. He reopened his eyes, and saw hers looking down on him resolutely. If she'd felt the pain, she was refusing to show it. For several eternal moments, neither spoke. It was Will who broke the silence. "How long did I have?" His voice carried, softly into the cavern. Much stronger than it had before.... "Less than two hours, give or take. " Her whispered reply shook him far less than the image of her sinking to her knees next to him on the cold stone floor. Reaching out, he brushed his fingertips over her face softly.... "...And now? How long do *we* have?" He continued. Deanna shook her head, turning her face into the palm of his hand in a way she hadn't done for many years. She shut her eyes. "I don't know. A day or two. Three at most. " She swallowed, and when she opened her eyes once again, she saw the anguish in his eyes.
"Will...." Deanna whispered, wishing she could gather him into her arms and melt into his embrace. Desperately needing to feel him near to her, and not having the slightest idea how to allow herself the luxury. Or even if she should. Shaking her head in frustration, she continued speaking instead... "Neither of us knew how long we'd have. Every day aboard the Enterprise we accepted the fact that there might be a day when we didn't come back from an away mission, or a dangerous assignment...especially you. How many times did we have that same conversation? How many nights did we sit together in Ten Forward after you'd barely escaped in-tact from some new scenario? We've been over this before. " "That's exactly it Deanna!" Will shifted uncomfortably "...this was *my* time. Now. *Me* - not you. You had the rest of your life ahead of you! Hell, the Enterprise will probably figure out something went wrong with our communicators when they rendezvous at our pick-up location in a couple of days. You could have gone back.... Deanna...you could have..." While he spoke, Will's fingers absently brushed against her hair, causing her to shiver involuntarily. "Not without you. " She met his gaze sternly and cut him off before he could utter a retort. "You know as well as I do, Will Riker, that I could never leave you here to die, knowing that there was something I could do that might save your life...." "Deanna...." "...and mine. " She continued, this time so softly he barely heard her speak. Her final comment washed away his argument like a tidal wave. His piercing blue eyes met hers for yet another moment, daring her to elaborate. Whether it was out of fear, or some remembrance of the practised safety she'd grown accustomed to, Deanna found herself unable to give him that just yet. Instead, she turned away from him, feeling suddenly cold when the edges of his fingertips no longer rested against her skin. She turned towards their survival pack silently. It was ironic, really. They were linked in a way neither of them had ever experienced before. Held together by a force as old as Betazed, by a power which transcended either of their true psychic abilities, and though they shared so much of their souls, it was more difficult now for her to read his emotions than it had been before...almost as if the power which linked their spirits and kept his life force in tune with hers was taking up nearly every ebb of psychic energy they shared. Will's voice, suddenly resigned, murmured softly. "It feels like...like I can feel you...all around me. Inside of me. But it's different...than before. " Deanna nodded wordlessly, grabbing two ration packs from where they lay next to their survival gear, she sat cross-legged, handing him a newly opened package. "So what does it mean? What happens now?" It was the genuine curiosity in his voice which caused her to glance up at him. "I don't know. Will...This is all new to me as well. I wish I could tell you more, I wish I knew more, but I don't. I wasn't- I wasn't even sure that it would work, since I'm only half Betazoid and you're not at all. " "But it did work..." He sat forward slowly, placing the ration pack down next to him as he moved. Deanna simply nodded, glancing at the cavern floor. "Deanna...It *did* work. That means something doesn't it?..." "It means you've got more time. It means there's a chance for us...." She met his intense expression head on before continuing the sentence. "...to survive. " "Liar. " Will's mouth turned up at one corner and he regarded her for a moment, knowing her well enough to predict her response. When her head snapped up in surprise and indignation, he smiled fully. "Excuse me?...I am most certainly *not* lying...lest you've forgotten *Commander*, Betazoids don't lie. " Will shook his head. "No, you bend, fold, and dance around the truth like an Acturian ballerina, but you never lie. You're far too aristocratic to out and out lie. " This time, when Deanna's eyes flashed in genuine anger, Will knew he'd hit his mark. "Aristocratic!? You haven't called me that since I was twenty years old!! I should think you'd got beyond being small minded, Commander. Obviously I was mistaken. " Before she could turn her back on him and stand, Will reached out and stayed her movement with a hand against her arm. "So I was right. " His softly uttered affirmation caused Deanna to freeze in mid-motion. "*Imzadi* doesn't mean forever does it? Not without...." More suddenly than he'd been prepared for, Deanna rounded on him. "I'm not having this discussion with you, Will. Not now. " "When then? When would you like to have this discussion, Deanna...tomorrow? There may not *be* a day after that...so you go ahead and pick a time. " Will's voice was filled with such emotion that Deanna was forced to sit back down and meet his eyes. After several moments of uncomfortable silence, it was she who began to speak. "You know, it's a real pain in the ass to try and have a conversation while you're sitting there pretending that you don't have a broken leg, Commander. " Deanna winced half-seriously... Glancing into her bemused expression, despite the pain he knew she shared with him in that moment, Will Riker would happily (and insanely) have braved an Alaskan ice storm to take her into his arms and kiss her desperately. "You're the one with the regenerator, Doc. " He shrugged. She sighed in mock-exasperation and reached into the med-kit. "I suppose it serves me right for listening to you ramble on instead of attending to your injuries right away. " "Rambling on? Deanna...I do not Ramble. " Deanna glanced up at him as she moved the ReGen unit slowly over his fractured femur. "Will?" "Yes?" "Shut up. " Her voice was as serious as he'd ever heard it. But her eyes danced with laughter, and he couldn't help but join her, enchanted as he ever had been with everything about her. "There. " She sat back with a sigh. "That should take care of it. But I wouldn't put pressure on it for at least a couple of hours. These field med- kits aren't nearly as powerful as the ones we've got in sickbay, and you could aggravate the fracture if you move too quickly and disturb the knit. " Will nodded in acquiescence. "So tell me Counsellor, how is it that you know so much about knitting bones and fractures?" Deanna, for her part, merely shrugged. "I know a great many things that you aren't aware of, Commander. " She met Will's puzzled expression with an entirely sweet, entirely coy smile -- but before his could proceed with his interrogation, she cut him off, stating matter-o-factly, "You're wondering how someone who's as squeamish as I am about blood, could know what's involved in healing a bone fracture. " "Is telepathy included in the list of newly acquired...things...we're about to experience?" Will gazed at her wide eyed. Deanna laughed. "Don't flatter yourself Commander. " Her voice sobered, but only marginally before she continued. "Will, I've known you for almost twenty years, you don't *have* to speak half the time, the expression on your face is telling enough. " Riker frowned convincingly and Deanna leaned forward, placing both hands against the side of his face endearingly. "Oh, don't pout. I haven't told anyone yet..." When their eyes met an instant later, however, there was something far deeper in their silent communication than there had been in the playful exchange of a few moments earlier. Will felt a rush of such intense desire flood through his being that he nearly gasped out loud. She'd shared that feeling with him, she had to have shared it...it was something they'd both experienced. He found himself unable (or unwilling?) to look away from her dark gaze, her eyes were large and luminous, and he thought (not for the first time in his life), that he could easily and happily let himself drown in their depths. God she took his breath away every time he saw her... Time seemed to slow, the universe had all but stopped spinning and as their faces drew nearer and nearer, the rational side of Deanna's mind screamed that she was about to violate her own vow...while the rest of her fell deeper and deeper into the whirlwind of emotion which engulfed both of them, begging her to fall into his arms and... With a tremendous crash, the cavern above them suddenly exploded into a shower of rock fragments which rained down upon the incongruous couple. Were it not for a hastily erected force field, thrown up around their bodies from some unknown source, neither Deanna nor Will would have survived the fallout. ------------------------------------------------+ Losing her tenuous balance, Deanna tumbled forward next to Will. Billows of dust and smoke cascaded across the cavern, and Riker instinctively wrapped himself around her small body, shielding her from the blast, though it never actually reached their position. Even before the air around them had cleared, Deanna stiffened as she felt a familiar tingle wash over her body. In the instants which followed, she found time only to grasp Will's hand in hers before their linked bodies shimmered in the dim light of the cavern, and disappeared. * * * "Deanna..." Will lay his hand against her shoulder and shook her gently. "Deanna...wake up. " "Mmm?" Her muffled reply was followed by the slight movement of her body as she turned. "Will..." Her eyes slid open, ever so slowly, adjusting to the new sensation of an illuminated environment. "Where are we?" "I'm not entirely sure. " Will smiled down at her then, as if to reassure her that although he truly had no idea where exactly they were, there was no immediate danger in that. He was also smiling because he could *feel* her sleep-heavy disorientation. Not simply in the way she glanced at him several short times while she rose to a seated position, but powerfully, through whatever force it was which had bound them together since the cave. The only difference now was that...for some reason...their link was infinitely more consuming. In fact, her nearness to him seemed only to amplify the sensations he was experiencing and Riker couldn't imagine ever being more fulfilled...and frustrated...at the same time. "What happened?" As if sensing the same thing, Deanna suddenly sat bolt upright and surveyed their surroundings. They were in a luxurious suite...of sorts. Stark contrast to the bleak, cold cavern which their earlier accident had found them trapped inside. Several computer panels lined up like soldiers against one of the walls, directly adjacent to a replicator and a door which seemed the only entrance or exit to the room. There was also a desk, two of them in fact, and a large, luxurious bed. The entire ensemble resembled a Risaean holosuite, truth be told, and Deanna caught her breathe as understanding suddenly settled over her. "What is it? Deanna...you're white as a ghost! I can- I can feel how uneasy you are...what's wrong?" Will moved forward and gathered her protectively against him, his hand instinctively rising to caress her hair while he spoke. "Are you alright?" Troi swallowed a growing lump in her throat and slowly divested herself from his embrace, leaving a very worried looking 'Commander' to sit on the couch where she had been laying only moments ago. "I'm fine. Will...this place, you don't know, do you?" "Know what? I've never seen this place before in my life. Are you telling me that you have?" "Yes!...Well, not exactly. In a manner of speaking, I suppose. " Will sat forward and afforded her an expression of confusion. "I'm quite certain I've never been *here* before. Wherever here is, but this suite...Will..." Deanna turned towards him. "...It's an exact replica of the one you and I were given on Risa...the day before we were to meet, the day before we were going to be...." "...Married. " Will finished the sentence for her. He'd never actually seen this suite, because he'd never actually made it down to Risa. But she had. She had been there waiting for him, and been there still even after she knew he wasn't going to show up. "Gods Deanna...are you sure?" At her wordless nod, Will rose from his own seated position and moved towards one of the desks. He lay his hand across it slowly and then turned. "How in the hell is this possible?" His nearly whispered reply only caused her to shrug her shoulders. "Your guess is as good as mine, Commander. The last thing I remember is nearly being killed in a cavern...Will!" Deanna suddenly rushed towards him, her hand brushing quickly over his temple. "Your injuries...they're gone. " Touching the back of her own head next, she added, "...and so are mine. " Will caught her hand in his as she brought it back towards him to reaffirm her prognosis. "Is that why everything...I'm feeling is so much stronger?" Deanna let out a short breath and awarded him with a truly innocent smile. "I imagine so. " Her voice was soft when she spoke, and carried with it a youthful quality he hadn't heard in over a decade. "I told you before, this is somewhat new to me as well. There's a very big difference between reading about it...and experiencing it. " She trailed off then, and with a mixture of awe and longing, Will felt as well as saw her more familiar control slip back into place. The 'Counsellor' had returned. As if on cue, however, both he and Deanna seemed to realise simultaneously that he'd captured her hand in his and was now holding it nearly at level with her face. Instead of releasing it, Riker found that he was completely captivated by the intensity of what he felt from her through their contact. It appeared he had been right earlier, physical contact did seem to intensify the intimacy of the bond several fold. In his entire lifetime, Will Riker had never felt anything more incredible than what the simple touch of her fingertips on his was doing to him right in this very moment. Noticing her expression shift between their joined hands and his intense gaze, and with the curiosity of two children, Will and Deanna felt helpless but to explore what was rapidly becoming addictive to both of them. Far from being intrusive or bothersome, their bond; solidified and actualised in a dark moment of desperation, had begun to grow into a sharing of souls which felt like...completion. The closer they moved to one another, the caress of Will's hand on hers while she threaded her fingers in his, all of it brought more clarity to their beings than either had dreamt was possible. More than any spoken concept could define, it was as if the sharing existed on it's own, as though, now forged, it grew and lived between them and unto itself...no matter what the prevailing emotion became. A bond which transcended even their own willingness to know it. Even 'Love' by their understanding and definition of the word, would exist subordinate, yet as vital as breathing. *Imzadi* was a word used to define a force -beyond- definition. Deanna's mind flashed back to the first time she'd tried to put words to it, when even the sound of her voice had seemed inadequate, though she'd never have admitted it. And now...now she understood why. "To be Imzadi is to go far deeper than that...the first whose ever touched your soul. " Her own explanation echoed inside of her mind, and she knew that he had heard it as well. "In innocence, the final vow. In sharing, eternity..." Troi whispered out loud the phrase she had heard many times since her childhood, a gathering of words which until now, had always held little more meaning than the poetic beauty they engendered. Unaware that her lips moved, Deanna's hand finally came to rest within Will's larger one. Their eyes met, his understanding reflected back at her with such profound clarity that she nearly wept for the simple joy of it. She may even have allowed him to see her tears...had the door to their suite not suddenly hissed open, and an intruder, the likes of which neither one of them had ever before encountered, moved slowly inside.
As intensely as it had begun, Will and Deanna's moment of sharing shattered like so many shards of broken glass, cascading across their combined consciousness and freeing them momentarily, from the spell it had cast. At the sound of the door's opening, the two senior officers turned simultaneously towards their new guest. Or more to the point...guests. Two more figures entered the room on the heels of the first, and all three stopped just inside the doorway. Deanna's eyes widened, as her mind adjusted to a sudden and unexpected rush of images. She turned towards Will, and saw that he too had been taken by surprise and seemed even less comfortable with the barrage of communicative thoughts than she had been. Taking stock of their situation quickly, Deanna released Will's hand and faced their new 'acquaintances' directly. At best, Will had never known the confusion of unfocussed telepathic communication. In this instance, where distorted intangible messages scrolled by almost too quickly for even an experienced telepath to grasp all at once, she feared for his psychological integrity. Unlike herself, Will Riker hadn't been through the many years of telepathic disciplinary instruction required of all young Betazoid children. What seemed an uncomfortable inconvenience to her at present, was likely ripping through his mind at a far more unforgiving rate. As if on cue, Will turned towards her and his expression confirmed her fears. Deanna took a deep breathe and recaptured his hand at her side, without comment. She felt his fingers wrap around hers, the flushed warmth of them reminding her of how hard he was struggling against the confusion his own mind had suddenly become. Squeezing his hand gently, she slowly began the process of sliding a shield into place around him...for him, silently thanking the Gods that the Fifth House had always produced powerful telepaths. Despite her being only half Betazoid, there were still a great many abilities she had been able to master with as much strength as her mother, who was widely regarded to be one of the most powerful telepaths in generations. Inch by meticulous inch, with the practised consideration of the most experienced in the discipline, Deanna Troi called up every memory of her tutelage as a teenager, careful not to move too quickly since cutting Will off instantly might damage his mind as much (or more) than prolonged exposure certainly would, she patiently guided her mental block over and around him, weaving it like a fine cloth, tightening it's tensile strength while she concentrated. As Riker began to relax, she could feel the tension lift from his being. It was an experience unlike any other in her entire lifetime. Never before had she been linked this intimately with another person. In recognising his presence within her as well as separately from her, all at once, she found herself awe-struck by the inherent paradox which even now was allowing her to shield his mind from the (likely unintended) attack, while she herself continued to attempt to sort through the barrage of thoughts sent at them. Their hosts were trying to communicate something of great urgency. That much was painfully clear. Yet the speed at which they sent their message was dizzying, even for Deanna. Only when the final remnants of her shield fell deftly into place around Will, was she then able to focus her full attention on their new companions. Not surprisingly, her first thought was to beg for a cease fire. [[Please...you're sending too quickly, we aren't able to understand...]] She didn't have to ask twice. Instantaneously, the jumble of images disappeared, so quickly in fact that Deanna lurched forward in surprise. Shutting her eyes briefly, Troi allowed herself the luxury of catching her breathe...mentally. The feeling was akin to having run several laps of a competition track, never realising just how exhausted you were until the race was suddenly over. One thing was for sure, whomever these beings were, they weren't up to speed on telepathic etiquette. Even so, considering the rapid rate at which they seemed to be able to communicate, they may well have transcended the need for such niceties. Their level of telepathic ability literally soared. [[Thank you]] She sent back at them. Truly grateful for the reprieve. It was then that one of the beings began to move forward slowly. They were humanoid in form, though all three were garbed in shimmering hooded robes off of which a faint energy signature pulsed softly. The aura of the first being dimmed slightly in the instant before Deanna heard a new voice, clearly and singularly inside of her mind. (((You may remove the shield. We understand. ))) Deanna glanced at Will who hadn't been able to follow the conversation while her block remained to protect him from the earlier assault. She sighed. The request seemed sincere enough, that is to say, she was unable to sense any duplicity from them. However, their apparent telepathic skill level was more than ample enough for them to have projected virtually anything they chose. It appeared that there was suddenly an executive decision to be made on behalf of Will Riker. The thought of that made her smile, despite their predicament. As she did so, she found herself afforded a look of askance from her companion. He truly had no idea what was going on. It was that fact, coupled with her sense of his growing frustration which finally caused Deanna to give in to her own curiosity, as well as his. Ever so gently, she lifted her block from around the Enterprise's executive officer, allowing him to share her thoughts and feelings once more, and inherently those of their new acquaintances. "I've told them that we cannot accept telepathic communication that quickly. They seem to understand. " She spoke the words, rather than sent them to him, more out of force of habit than anything else. Will nodded and felt her hand shift in his, preparatory to her removing it; a state of affairs he wasn't ready to accept. Instead of allowing her the space she seemed to be asking for, he threaded his fingers with hers and met her eyes - though neither spoke. He was thanking her! Comprehension dawned on her while his eyes seemed to drink in every feature of her face. He was silently thanking her for what she had done for him, and even as he did, she felt a wash of still-new admiration flow over her, which nearly made her blush. The singular melodious voice Deanna had come to know earlier interrupted their silent exchange. This time, Troi was certain that Will could hear it too. (((We apologise for causing you pain. We were unaware. There is understanding now. Your ability was misjudged. ))) (((It will suffice))) A second voice now joined the first, and Deanna could sense Will's tension rise. "Suffice? Suffice for what?" This time it was he who spoke. (((You posses the ability to communicate without words, yet you choose not to?))) This time it was the third being who dimmed as it's thoughts tumbled forward into their minds. [[Our situation is...unique. ]] Deanna returned. All three beings flickered momentarily at her explanation. (((You are sharing one life force. Yet you are...two. ))) [[There was an accident. ]] Deanna explained, [[One of us was injured. ]] (((We felt the union. We came when we were called. ))) The first entity dimmed this time. "Called? By whom?" (((We are The Children))) "I'm afraid I still don't understand..." Will frowned and Deanna turned to him. "I don't think there is anything comparable in our understanding, Will. They're communicating telepathically, the closest thing our minds can interpret is 'The Children'. That may not be what they're actually saying. " (((Yes))) (((There is understanding))) (((We are The Children))) Deanna shrugged at Will's still-perplexed expression. [[I am Deanna Troi, and this...is Commander Riker. We were travelling on a starship called The Enterprise. We're explorers. We were only to be on this planet for a short while, but there was an accident, and we lost one of our people. ]] Her thoughts drifted to Ensign Parker whom, she shamefully conceded, she hadn't thought of again until just this moment. (((That one's lifeforce was no longer present))) The more melodious of the three voices carried with it a hint of disappointment and Deanna nodded sadly. (((Your shared life force was weakening. We were forced to intercede. ))) (((We came when we were called. ))) "I'm still not sure I understand. We were trying to contact our ship...." Will leaned forward as he spoke, a trait of his which Deanna had always secretly smiled at. "...our communications were cut off when we were trapped in the cavern. " (((Your devices are unnecessary))) (((There was sufficient energy))) Before either Deanna or Will had a chance to react or respond, the first being, who stood only two steps in front of the others, suddenly flickered. (((The learning is complete. ))) Raising it's arms, it slowly began to lower the shimmering hood from over it's head. When the task had been completed Deanna and Will nearly gasped in surprise. Standing before them, still illuminated by the not-unpleasant energy-pulse of an aura, was a very young, very beautiful...Betazoid female. Her dark eyes were almost as large as Deanna's, and tumbles of golden hair spilled freely over her shoulders like spun silk. Perhaps even more surprising than that, however, was the familiar musical quality of her voice...when she spoke. "Dee, I know this must be confusing but please do not be frightened. There is so much we need to impart to you, and I fear there is little time to do so. " Deanna glanced over at Will who shared a moment of stunned silence with her. It was impossible, yet the woman standing before them as tangible as a shimmering goddess...was none other than Chandra Xerx.
[[Ch-Chandra?]] Deanna stepped forward, only to feel the presence of Will's hand on her arm, silently warning her not to. (((In a way...Deanna, we do not wish to deceive you or Commander Riker. Chandra is a pleasing figure in your consciousness and therefore seemed the appropriate choice for an ambassador, don't you think?))) The younger Betazoid woman who now seemed to have Chandra's personality as well as her appearance, smiled brightly. In contrast, Deanna paled visibly. [[You created an image of her from my memories?]] Chandra laughed lightly, the musical lilt to her voice filling their room. It was a response so like Deanna's childhood friend that the Counsellor nearly choked. (((No. It's so much more than that. What you see is made possible by your *soul's* memory. I am not an image of Chandra, Deanna. I truly *am* Chandra, as you remember her, for as long as I hold this form. ))) The younger woman did look exactly as Deanna had chosen to remember Chandra. A youthful, magically happy woman in her early twenties, just the way she had been when Deanna left Betazed for Starfleet Academy. Of course, they'd spoken since then, exchanged birthday and holiday wishes -- even met up two or three times whenever the opportunity had presented itself, but in memory...Chandra would forever be the young confidant Deanna had missed so dearly when she left home. [[You look...so young. ]] Deanna couldn't help but send back. (((Time holds no meaning for our souls, Dee. ))) Chandra held one arm outward, as if beckoning to the pair before her, and then raised it slightly, curling her fingers inward. This time, Will gasped and took one step backwards, still holding Deanna's hand in his. It was then that Deanna herself realised what she was wearing. Her raven dark hair had been partially caught up with a gauzy white headband, still allowing it to spill over her shoulders and down her back, but creating the illusion of control. And her dress.... Deanna glanced first at 'Chandra' and then at Will, whose passionate admiration was impossible to ignore. Her dress...long and luminescent, cut into a deep 'V' in the front, tumbled down over every curve of her body. It was a Betazoid matrimonial gown, the kind traditionally divested right before the ceremony, in the instants before coming forward to accept the summons to marriage. It was, in fact, an exact replica of the one she'd had made and taken with her to Risa so many years ago. Without thinking, Deanna let her hand slide reverently over the fabric of the gown. Seconds later, as her fingertips brushed against the soft gauzy material, she suddenly stopped and lifted her hand, then brought it higher to light against her face. Turning towards Will, she noticed that he too was dressed differently, wearing a loose fitting tunic and pants, an ensemble which left little of his own physique to the imagination. He'd had an outfit like that aboard the Enterprise. One he often wore on shore leave, one she always loved to see him in. Yet perhaps more striking than even that, was the fact that Will Riker looked...exactly as he had the final day they'd spent together on Betazed. Some how, some way, the past seventeen years they'd lived since that fateful day had seemed to vanish, and though mentally they remembered every second of those years -- physically...it was as if none of it had ever happened. (((As your soul remembers, so too do your bodies))) As Chandra offered her explanation, the other two beings who had entered the room behind her, silently took their leave, slipping away almost unnoticed -- though she remained. [[Where is this place?]] Deanna tore her eyes from Will's, attempting to recapture reality. (((We are still on the planet you call Rhesuvius IV. ))) [[Then all of this?]] It was Will's thoughts this time, which begged the question. (((...is of your own making, Commander Riker. Yours and Deanna's. ))) Chandra smiled, anticipating his comment almost in the instant before he'd thought it. (((You are not prisoners here, Will. You may move about freely and enjoy all that we have. I will retain this form for the duration of your stay with us, so that you will better be able to communicate with us, and we with you. It has been so very long since we have had any others here. ))) Will and Deanna exchanged a glance before Riker began to speak. "May we contact our ship?" "Of course Commander. " Chandra musical voice filled the chamber, as though deferring to Will's unspoken desire to communicate with words. "Your communication devices are next to the bed. Please feel free to extend your exploration from this room as well. While most of what you see will probably seem familiar, it is *our* way to provide an environment...calming for our guests. " "Thank you. I'm certain our captain on the Enterprise will have much to discuss with you as well. " Riker smiled and inclined his head. "I'm afraid that won't be possible. " Chandra shook her head at Will's raised eyebrow. "You see, we were called, only to you. We would not invite contact with anyone else. " "I'm sorry, Miss..." Riker trailed off. "Chandra. You may call me Chandra, or, if that upsets you, you may call me whatever you wish. " "Chandra then. " Will stole a quick glance at Deanna who rewarded him with a half smile, indicating that she did not object. "Chandra...I can assure you that the Enterprise would never harm any...." "You still do not understand. " Chandra smiled. "We will teach you. But first, some time to yourselves...to explore. The first lesson, you must teach *yourselves*. " With a discreet nod, Chandra ducked out of the open doorway and was suddenly gone. For several eternal moments Commander and Counsellor stood side by side, digesting all that had just happened. Finally, Deanna let herself drop into a seated position at the edge of the large bed, and folded her hands in her lap. "I'd better give those communicators a try. " At Deanna's wordless nod, Riker turned and made his way to the opposite end of the bed, extracting the small metal comm badges from the surface of what appeared to be a night stand. ={Riker to Enterprise}= His suddenly 'official', baritone voice carried across the chamber. ={Enterprise here, Commander. }= Troi's head snapped up with the response and she met Will's eyes. Their gazes remained locked while he spoke. The voice on the other end of the comm link was a decidedly junior officer's, indicating that the ship had apparently already gone to skeleton staff after their stop at Deep Space 5. ={Ensign Davies, how long until the rendezvous?}= ={Approximately 48 hours Commander. Is there a problem sir?}= ={You could say that Ensign. There was a cave in, Ensign Parker didn't make it. We were rescued by a race of people who seem friendly enough but I'd like you to keep track of our position here just the same. Notify captain Picard of our status and please see to it that Ensign Parker's affairs are put in order with his family. }= Will felt a cold lump rise in his throat at the mention of the young Ensign. It never got any easier, no matter how long he served with Starfleet, or how many ranks he attained, the death of a crew member was never easy. ={Aye sir. We've established your current position. Weather patterns on the planet's surface won't give us a transporter lock until we're within range of the rendezvous point. Will you be at the scheduled co-ordinates in 48 hours sir?}= ={I'll keep you informed Ensign. Riker Out}= Troi stood then, and made her way quietly over to Will's position. "You couldn't have prevented his death, Will...you were nearly killed yourself. " Deanna placed one hand on his shoulder. "I know. " He hung his head for a moment. "The rational part of me knows, but..." "But the human part of you is having a difficult time wrestling with his rational side?" Sighing audibly, Riker shook his head. "Were you always this good a Counsellor?" "Even better. " Deanna half smiled as he turned to face her. "Deanna, I--" The words stuck in his throat when he finally came face to face with her. Despite everything they'd just experienced together, it wasn't until that very moment that Will realised just how incredibly beautiful she looked. The material of the dress flowing magically about her as though it were a halo, and she an angel. This time, it was Deanna's turn to blush slightly, having felt the full force of his revelation simultaneously. "You don't look so bad yourself, Commander. " Her smile washed away any embarrassment he may have felt and replaced it with profound sense of completion. "That obvious huh?" Will grinned ruefully at her nod. "This is going to take a little...getting used to. Sharing...everything this way, I mean. " Deanna suddenly adopted a pensive expression and turned from him. "Will-. about what happened in the cave. I realise I never asked you, and I never gave you the opportunity to choose.... I just- I-" "Gods Deanna..." Will approached her and turned her body towards his. "You gave up a piece of yourself to save my life. Don't ever apologise for that...you gave me a gift. The most precious gift anyone's ever given me. I could never resent you for that. " Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears and he instinctively lifted his hand to her face to brush them away. "Imzadi" he whispered, pulling her into his arms and rocking with her gently. "You have...the most beautiful soul, Deanna Troi. " Will whispered, even as he continued to hold her close. He heard her sigh softly. "You know, it's ironic. There was a time when I despaired of you ever seeing more of me than what was physically present. " At the sound of her voice, Riker smiled and allowed a particularly lascivious thought to drift across his consciousness. Deanna poked him playfully in return. "Alright, so maybe you aren't completely reformed. " "I seem to recall...I even asked you if you believed in love at first sight. " "Yes, you did. " She pulled away only slightly to meet his eyes. "...and I still do. " "With the right person. In the right circumstances, of course. " Will's face became serious. "Of course. " Deanna matched his expression and for a moment neither moved or even so much as breathed. "You know, we're missing out on a wonderful opportunity for us to explore a new life form. We should probably take a walk outside, don't you think?" Will slowly began to step away from her, reluctantly, but knowing that if he didn't move now...he might not be able to later on. She sighed, seemingly resigned, and he thought for the briefest of moments that he might have felt...frustration?...from her. But just as quickly it was gone and she had begun to move towards the doorway of her own accord. Stopping several feet away from the exit she gestured with one hand. "Lead the way, Commander. " He winced. It was going to be a very long 48 hours.
"Deanna...wait up!" Will called out to her, following down the long corridor she'd turned into. It was nearly two hours after their initial exploration of the area. They'd managed to run into 'Chandra' one more time since then as well, and the young woman had informed them of a gathering taking place a few hours later within one of the more breathtaking chambers they'd encountered. As a people, the Rhesuvians were very deferential. They seemed...genuinely curious about both Will and Deanna as well. Several more mentions of being 'called' and 'summoned' had come up, with as curious responses to their questions as ever -- it seemed either there really were no better 'words' to define their hosts' meaning, or else they were deliberately being vague. Either way, Deanna seemed to have no trouble fitting right in with the cultural experience. In fact, Will was almost a little jealous. She embraced their silent method of communication as easily as a child born to it, which, he conceded to himself, she actually was. It was probably only natural for her. The idea did little to make him more comfortable, however, and neither did the calm distance she'd treated him with since they'd left their room. Riker sped up and jogged nearer to the hurried Counselor. "You want to tell me why you're practically ignoring me? Or am I supposed to just figure that out on my own?" That brought her up short. Deanna suddenly stopped in her tracks and stood motionless, without so much as turning to face him. She wasn't going to make this easy. He sighed. "Alright, Deanna...look, about what happened in there-" "Did you notice that not one of them was angry?" The sound of her voice cut him off. "I beg your pardon? Deanna--" "No anger, no frustration, no anxiety...nothing like that in an entire population. " This time she did turn to face him. "Either they really are some form of supreme being, or they're hiding something. " Deanna crossed her arms over her chest and Will shook his head. He knew that stance. She wasn't going to be letting anyone in right now. "No, I hadn't really thought about it...but then again, I've never been able to 'sense' these things about anyone before. This is all very new to me, so I could easily have missed it just trying to figure out what *I* was supposed to be feeling. " His intense expression locked with hers. "We should ask Chandra. " Will stared at her a moment longer, perplexed. "She's one of them. " "Yes..." Deanna's voice trailed off and she frowned. "Do you think we have any reason to be worried?" This time, Will's voice was serious. No matter what else was going on with them personally...he trusted Deanna's 'hunches' with his life. "I'm not sure. I don't think so. Not yet at least. And I think we *should* ask Chandra. She's the closest thing we have to a diplomat here, and we should at least give her a chance to explain it to us. Perhaps there's a reasonable explanation. " "Perhaps. " Will's crystal blue eyes examined her for a moment longer. "Is that why you were headed down this hallway at warp 2?" Her eyes flashed at him, dark and...hurt? "Deanna...I'm sorry. " Will checked his sense of humour at the door and shook his head. "What I did in there...it was very abrupt and cold. Cowardly actually...I guess I- " "It's alright Will. You don't owe me an explanation. I shouldn't even be upset. " She sighed softly and Will stopped speaking, going on the hunch that she still had more to say. He wasn't wrong. "But I *am* upset...and that bothers me more than anything else, I think. After all this time- " She trailed off, and Will had a definite sense of frustration from her this time. Frustration and self reproach. "No...I think you're right. I think you and I have a lot to talk about . . . when we get back to the Enterprise. A lot of things, we probably should have said a long time ago . . . one way or the other. " He swallowed and she nodded silently, hanging her head. "But until then..." Will tried to smile. "How would you like to take a walk with me in that garden we saw earlier...The one that looks exactly like a park I once visited on Betazed -- with a certain beautiful young woman who wanted nothing to do with me?" When he saw the beginnings of a smile tip the corners of her mouth, Will's eyes lit up and he brought his arm up around her shoulder. Tentatively at first, and then when she didn't object, he pulled her closer. The two walked as one, the rest of the way down the lengthy corridor, until they turned near it's end and entered a vivid chapter of their history. * * * In the beginning, neither spoke. There was nothing that needed to be said, and nothing more profound in those precious moments than the simplicity of sharing long remembered experiences yet again. After nearly half an hour, Will suddenly stopped and brought Deanna around to face an incredible vista. Bright orange clouds drifted by on ribbons of sunlight while the fiery crimson ball descended into the distant horizon. "Remember this place?" He asked in a whisper. It was the first words either of them had spoken until then. "Yes . . . I brought you here once, I think it was after our first date, wasn't it?" She smiled at the memory and he awarded her a wry grin. "The one where your knee impacted with my stomach?" Deanna had the grace to blush, if only momentarily. "You still remember that?" "Lets just say you made a definite...impression on me. " Will tossed back at her, grinning widely. "Well I'm glad *something* did. You were incorrigible as I recall. " "I still am!" They both laughed at his anecdote and Will slid his arm from her shoulder, to take her hand instead. "Come on..." He pulled her gently towards a nearby rise, and once they finally arrived, he sat himself down on the grass, pulling her with him. "You remembered!" Deanna half whispered, half sang, sinking into a seated position next to him. "Well, you said it was one of your favourite places. I made a mental note. " Will shrugged, though his insides nearly melted when she awarded him with a brilliant smile. "And I quote..." He smiled back at her and noticed, not without a great deal of satisfaction, that her eyes grew wider with every word he repeated from their past, verbatim. "...to some degree, all of us are fractured souls. Cut in half. And we wander though life looking for the rest of ourselves.... The reason is that they're part of you. And you're part of them. You...fit. " "And once you've fit together...nothing can pull you apart unless you let go. " She murmured, nearly awe-struck that he'd remembered their conversation of seventeen years ago . . . word for word. Will suddenly caught her hand in his and turned it over, absently playing with her fingers and examining them at the same time. Deanna watched his fascination, but didn't intercede. It was plain he had something on his mind, even if she hadn't felt a rush of urgency from him. "I guess we let go, huh?" He glanced up at her briefly. "To assume that, would be to assume that we've always been soulmates, now wouldn't it?" Her voice was light, but carried with it a far heavier question. Slowly, his eyes rose to be at level with hers and he drank in every feature of her like too much fine wine. Intoxicated didn't even begin to describe the way he was suddenly feeling. No, the way he'd _always_ felt about her from the very beginning, before he'd become adept at bottling everything up for the sake of their agreement, and his sanity. "I've never doubted that for an instant. "
"Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. " Captain Jean-Luc Picard picked up the steaming mug of liquid and frowned into it. Normally soothing, the drink now held little appeal for the Captain of the Enterprise. He watched the shimmering reflection of the cabin lights dance inside the mug a moment longer, and sighed. ={Crusher to Picard}= ={Go ahead, Beverly}= ={I've been ringing your door chime for nearly two minutes Jean-Luc, are you alright? Or did you forget about dinner?}= He shook his head. It was damned irritating the way his single minded focus towards a problem could sometimes rob him of alertness. ={I'm fine Beverly, I apologise. Please do come in, I've disengaged the privacy lock}= At the soft hiss of the cabin door opening, Jean-Luc moved to meet his guest. Without comment, the Enterprise's CMO stopped short of her Captain and gave him an appraising once over. He had to smile. "I assure you, I'm perfectly alright. I was just thinking..." "About Will and Deanna. " "Umm. " Picard nodded absently. "...and James Parker. I sent them out there, you know. " "You sent three officers on an away mission Jean-Luc. Standard procedure. " This time he met her gaze. "Is it standard procedure for three officers not to communicate with their ship for nearly three days? We've done sensor sweeps of the planet's surface nearly a dozen times and there's no sign of them. It should have been routine..." "We'll find them. I haven't given up hope. " Jean-Luc softened at the determination he saw in her eyes. In many ways, he'd found over the years of their service together, that drawing from her strength was often his pathway to salvation. Perhaps...too often. "Neither have I. You know, Doctor, when we set course for Deep Space 5, I was looking forward to some long overdue shore leave. " The corners of his mouth turned up into a wry smile, which she returned, in kind. "We all were. Trust Will and Dee to muck things up for an entire ship on shore leave. " She smiled again and shook her head, before whispering softly, "None of us were prepared to discover that the away team hadn't met their rendezvous co-ordinates. " "What I can't figure out, Beverly, is what could have happened down there. There's no evidence of a storm or a struggle...no evidence of sentient life forms of any kind! It's as if they've just...disappeared. " He struggled with the last word, and didn't add the qualifier. To know of it's existence was enough. To grapple with the notion that if they hadn't just 'disappeared' then it was more than likely they were.... "There's got to be something we're overlooking. Something...something we should be looking *for* but we're not. " Beverly cut him off mid-thought and crossed in front of him, sitting down familiarly on his couch. "Agreed. We've gone over this numerous times with the entire senior staff. " "Data seems to think it's possible they've been trapped underground. In a cavern of some sort where our sensor sweeps would be ineffective. " "That's probably our best alternative right now. I just wish there were some way to prove or disprove it before I lose any more hair. " At his offhand remark, Beverly smiled mischievously, trying to lighten the mood. "I see your point. " "You know something Doctor?" Picard regarded her, amused. "I think I'm just about ready for that dinner. Will you accompany me to ten-forward?" Extending one arm, he couldn't help but feel the slightest bit more relaxed when she took it, and the two of them walked in companionable silence from the cabin. * * * Soulmates? He'd never doubted it for an instant? In contrast to the mood of the moment, it was suddenly starting to get chilly. Deanna noticed it first, pulling her arms around herself and rubbing them up and down. "It _is_ starting to be a little cool isn't it?" Will sat forward, removing the spring jacket from over top of his tunic and placing it over her shoulders, gently. "You're just as cold as I am. " Deanna countered, without refusing his offer. "I grew up in Alaska. " He grinned, and this time, so did she. The sky had taken on a deep crimson colour and the air picked up in speed almost imperceptibly. It was enough to lower the temperature several degrees, however. "Odd, isn't it?" "What?" Will shook his head. "If all...this...is a memory we share, then why is it suddenly so cold? I don't remember it being cold that evening..." "Now that you mention it, neither do I. " The two officers began to stand, Will managing the task first and extending his hand towards Deanna, assisting her to do the same. "Come to think of it, there's something...not quite right about this whole place. " She wrinkled her brow in concentration and frowned slightly. "In what sense?" "Well...I'm not sure...exactly. I can't put my finger on it. But I know there's something different about this environment. It's almost as if..." "Good Evening, Counsellor, Commander. It is time. " The crystal clear voice of their host interrupted almost on cue, and both Will and Deanna turned towards her. "Time?" "The ceremony will begin soon, I'm here to accompany you both into the Hall Of Voices. " "Auspicious name for a room, don't you think?" Will leaned over and whispered to Deanna, who shot him a reproachful glance. "I assure you Commander, no harm will come to you, or the Counsellor. " "I apologise. " Will sobered. "It's not always easy to remember when one is in the company of telepaths. That was very rude of me. " "Not at all Commander. I understand. " Chandra smiled at both of them and extended her arm towards the exit of the garden. [[You were right]] Will concentrated on sending to Deanna privately, just as she had taught him. There would be no way for another to overhear them without the intrusion being detected. [[How do you mean?]] He felt her voice fill his thoughts and the familiar sense of belonging that always brought with it. [[If that were really Chandra, she would have said 'Rabeem'. I remember when she and Gart Xerx tried to teach me the full nuance of the word back on Betazed the last time we visited with the Enterprise. The two of them claimed I still didn't understand it. ]] [[You don't. ]] Deanna sent back, mischievously. [[But you're also right. Even my own memory of Chandra would have used the word. It's always been one of her favourite expressions. ]] [[Well, we both know that isn't really Chandra. But I'm beginning to wonder if your earlier concerns about their honesty weren't justified. ]] [[I suppose we'll find out soon enough. ]] Deanna shrugged while she walked next to Will, only three or four steps behind their host -- they proceeded like soldiers down a long, narrow corridor. [[That, Counsellor, is exactly what worries me. ]] Riker sighed as he felt a tendril of comfort reach out to his mind from hers. An instant later, all further thought was cut off.
Amazing how such a tiny thing could touch a person's soul so deeply. Deanna's hand in his, Will Riker watched the majesty of the "Hall Of Voices" unfold before them, and was as captivated as a child in fairyland. Fairyland...giddy unreality. A surreal portrait of their minds and bodies separate, and yet not. Existing somewhere in amongst the tall alabaster pillars all around them, rising up into a mist so high above their heads, it could almost have been cloud cover. Long, winding columns of twisted stone and sparkling, luminescent walls between which the minds of a thousand Rhesuvians congregated...shared...something. How many were there? Will couldn't tell. The hum of constant connection to the life stream buzzed inside his mind, yet no uninvited voices threatened his control this time. Deanna turned her head and met his eyes, as wide and filled with wonder as her own. To imagine a perfection as unique as this would forever have been beyond either of them, until now. Feeling...emotion, raw uncensored, unfiltered innocence. Realisation struck Deanna as magnificently as any epiphany in her lifetime ever had. This wasn't a hall of voices, it was a hall of souls, each one a pure, brilliant energy on it's own. But if that were true, then.... [[Oh my god, Dee, are we...?]] Will's thoughts brushed against her mind. [[No...no, that's not possible...]] She shut her eyes, purposely blocking out the images surrounding them. This wasn't right. It was too real. (((Deanna...))) A new voice. She opened her eyes. [[Dalyn?]] Will's grip tightened on Deanna's hand while a new 'familiar' face walked towards her. [[You're not Dalyn, you're just like Chandra. What is this place?]] ((You're asking questions for which you already hold the answers, Dee)) Dalyn's darkly handsome features smiled at her. [[Who is Dalyn? ]] Will interjected. [[He's someone I knew...a long time ago. ]] Deanna offered no further explanation, and brushed aside Will's momentary frustration. She had to sort this out. Had to *think*, a feat which seemed nearly impossible with Will's emotions so vivid inside of her, and her own threatening to overcome her. (((Please, let me show you something. ))) Dalyn held out one hand, and Deanna found herself disengaging from Will to take it, almost without thought. Dalyn smiled, even as Will tossed him a suspicious glare. (((Do you remember what I taught you?))) Will's eyes widened at the other man's use of a very familiar question he himself had been asked -- only a few short years ago -- by Deanna. Dalyn smiled as he spoke and Deanna felt...odd. In a good way. Truthfully, she *did* remember the way he'd made her feel, a long time ago. In fact, she was remembering it now, perhaps a little more keenly than she'd have liked. [[You taught me not to be afraid. ]] She answered, without pause. (((You were always strong. It is your strength which set you free. You're still more beautiful than a summer's breeze.... ))) [[I was so young.... Dalyn, I didn't understand what I was feeling. ]] (((I've always loved you...my beautiful Dee...always.... ))) Dalyn slowly moved forward and took an unresisting Deanna Troi into his arms, her own hands remained limp at her sides as his face drew nearer and nearer to hers...and she *did* remember, she remembered everything.... "Just a damn minute. What the hell is this about?" Will Riker's suddenly serious, and very powerful voice asserted itself into her consciousness...barely. That was odd, Will's voice was usually quite a bit louder wasn't it? She couldn't remember... Will suddenly reached forward without warning and pulled her from Dalyn's embrace. Deanna felt the movement of her body, and her own frustration at having been torn away from the other man's warmth. "Deanna, please excuse what I just did, and by all means you can feel free to go back to...whatever it was you were doing a moment ago, I won't stand in your way. But to my eyes, you were about to kiss a man whom you haven't even known for more than three minutes...and forgive me for saying so, but you don't seem to be fully in control of the situation, either. " Will placed his hands on her shoulders and when she didn't respond immediately, he turned her in his arms, her long dress shimmering in the iridescent light of the chamber, and her large, luminous eyes reflecting that same light. Her emotions were impossible to discern. "Deanna? Dee, can you hear me?" "Will?" Her soft voice was barely a whisper, and she blinked slowly, as though unsure of where she was, or whom she was speaking to. "That's it. We're getting out of here. " Gathering her closer, Will turned and began to lead them both back in the direction they had come from. Except that there was no longer a door there, no longer an entrance...or exit...of any kind, anywhere to be seen in the entire chamber -- and the hum of voices was growing louder. "William, please do not interfere. There is no reason to be afraid. We were summoned by *you* and Deanna, and it is time to complete the joining. " Will started when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Chandra, and her face grew serious as she spoke. "What joining? What the hell is this place?" Riker instinctively pulled Deanna closer, and took no comfort in the fact that she didn't protest. "You've done something to Deanna..." "Your shared energy is very strong, Will. It is that which brought us to you. Here...time holds no meaning, and you will be welcome for all eternity. " Chandra's smiled once more while Will felt a chill rush down his spine. "You intend to keep us here forever?" "You will understand. We will teach you..." As Chandra spoke, Will and Deanna found themselves surrounded by a host of non corporeal beings. "And if we refuse? You'll forgive me for saying so, but we have a life of our own to get back to. Your hospitality has been very generous, but I have no intention of spending the rest of eternity here and I know Deanna wouldn't want that either. " "There is no alternative. We will teach you. " Chandra repeated in the same voice, and for the first time in his life, Will Riker fought down the urge to deck a woman. Without warning, as though making good on their word, Deanna was suddenly lifted from Will's arms and literally levitated towards the centre of the room. "Deanna!" Will called out to her, first vocally, and then with his thoughts...but there was no response. She was cut off from him, and he from her. "Let her go!" Will felt every muscle in his body tense as a wave of helplessness swept over him. In that instant, he knew that there was nothing he could do to stop whatever it was they were doing, but that one thing was also certain...no matter the outcome, he would lose Deanna...forever. * * * (((Her energy is stronger than his. ))) Will heard the voice in his mind, but could not place it. It was followed by a host of other, unfamiliar thoughts, probably progressing at the same break- neck speed they had that very first time in the cavern, and yet it was becoming easier for him to pull them apart. (((Their essence will empower the life stream for another millennium))) (((They will join with us))) (((Quickly, before the disturbance becomes any greater))) (((She is already weakened from keeping his life force strong))) Having nothing more to lose, Will shut his eyes and blocked them out. All of it, the voices, the energy which surrounded him; he concentrated instead on Her. On finding his way back to her, on re-forging the link which had been blocked. Filling his mind with thoughts and images of her, feeling he knew he might never experience again - he almost felt as though it was working - as though she was pushing back, towards him...he could feel her.... Suddenly, a torrent of frustration and anger cascaded over him an instant before Deanna's thoughts tore into chamber, echoing as though she were everywhere at the same time: [[RELEASE ME!]] Will nearly collapsed from the force of her demand, though he could have wept with relief simultaneously. As if on cue, the beings which surrounded her body shifted back several metres, leaving her suspended in the air by some invisible power; her long gown rustling against her body, giving her the outward appearance of an angel. And, Will thought, her powerful demand seemed to have surprised their hosts even more than himself. It was then that he realised what had happened. The Rhesuvians had not moved backward upon hearing her, they had been *pushed* away, by *her*...some how, some way, Deanna had suddenly become more than capable of freeing *herself*. Or perhaps she always had been? Will knew only a little of the Betazoid gossip surrounding the 'power' which the daughters of the fifth house had always seemed to posses, but Deanna had always shrugged him off when he'd pressed her for more information. She'd reminded him that she was only half Betazoid and asked him to drop the subject; which he had, until now. But perhaps it wasn't telepathy at all which marked the Betazoid power. Perhaps the mental discipline moved well beyond that, and into something far more dangerous? It seemed impossible to reconcile, especially in the scarce instants in which he found himself analysing the idea. For such a peaceful race to posses the ability to aggress on this level...the implications of that were, overwhelming to say the least. If it were true, it was no wonder they'd kept it a guarded secret. That they cherished their implied serenity as a people. The Federation would certainly be concerned, if they knew. Concerned...Will suddenly felt weak. So weak that he found himself unable to stand. It was as if there was no energy left inside of him, and a dark vortex was pulling him ever downward. As his legs gave way beneath him and his body tumbled towards the alabaster floor, Will Riker was certain that he felt Deanna's mind reach out to him; felt her warmth surround his thoughts, her...*love* begging him not to give up, and he knew.... In that instant, he knew that he was dying....
Dust. Sand. Darkness. Cold. Riker coughed and felt his entire chest cavity pulse in agony. "...get a...sig...lock...hurry!" Disjointed, unintelligible voices seemed to be coming from some place far away, but he couldn't open his eyes, couldn't move either. [[Shhh...don't try and move, Imzadi...]] Deanna? Was she here? Suddenly memories of their time together on the planet snapped sharply into focus. It was her voice he had heard. Her heartbeat he felt as keenly as his own. He was certain of it. [[Deanna? Where are you?]] [[I'm here. Please...hold on Will, you're going to be just fine. ]] He felt, rather than heard, the near desperate plea in her voice, and it scared him. [[I can feel you with me. Are you alright? I remember...what happened. I thought I'd lost you forever...]] [[You'll never lose me...]] A feeling of peace swept over him and Will relaxed. [[Deanna, I -]] "Got it!...Enterprise, five to beam up -- directly to sick bay. " That last part Will heard loud and clear. And he'd never even had a chance to finish his thought. * * * "Prognosis Doctor?" Beverly Crusher glanced up from her computer console, her long red hair spilling down over her face and framing it in a particularly fetching way. The Captain of the Enterprise thought so, at least. Picard waited for her to respond. "They're both awake. I've managed to heal all of Will's internal injuries, it was touch and go there for a while, but he should be just fine. As for Deanna..." Beverly trailed off, and frowned. "Jean-Luc, she should have been fine when we found her. I found no internal lacerations, no trauma of any kind except perhaps a few minor cuts and bruises. But she was nearly in as poor shape as Will when we brought them up, and then she recovered at almost the exact same rate as he did. I don't understand it. " The Captain's brow furrowed. "Do you suspect that there's anything to worry about, medically at this point?" Beverly sighed. "Medically? No, I don't think so. In fact, if I had to place a wager, I'd say this probably has nothing to do with their physical condition at all. But whatever it is, it might bear explaining, as soon as I release them from sick bay. " "Agreed. I'll speak to Will, if you think he's up to it?" "Oh yes. Commander Riker is quickly returning to his old self. Sense of humour and all. " She smiled and Jean-Luc couldn't help but return the favour. "I'll take that under advisement, Doctor. " The truth was, they were both relieved beyond words that Deanna and Will had finally been brought aboard. While the poignant loss of Ensign Parker still hung over all of them, there had been moments during their search of the past few days, that everyone had been sure it would be too late for all three of the away team members.... It was then that they'd picked up the energy fluctuations below the planet's surface. Finally being able to punch through the distortion field and send a rescue team down had taken them another two hours, but once they had, they'd discovered their arrival had been just in the nick of time. Both Will Riker and Deanna Troi lay unconscious within the cavern, their unmoving forms curled up together as though they had managed to find one another before succumbing to their injuries. Will's injuries at least. It was a miracle that he'd managed to survive for as long as he had with that kind of internal haemorrhaging. Impossible in fact, were Beverly to have been asked to offer a theoretical opinion on a similar scenario at any time before the incident. And yet here he was, alive. Here they both were. Thank the Gods. Beverly sighed as she watched Jean Luc walk from her office into the heart of sick bay, knowing he was just as anxious as she was to speak to both of them, and to know that they were alright. As he entered the infirmary, the Captain of the flag ship of the Federation regarded his first officer appraisingly and silently. The younger man was resting - as ordered by Dr. Crusher - with his head propped up against the back of the biobed and his feet still up on it. Beyond that, he remained in the same position for several minutes, at least as long as Picard didn't make his presence known. Will Riker sat, watching another nearby biobed in which the ship's Counsellor lay, unmoving. He never took his eyes from her for an instant, never that is, until the Captain cleared his throat softly and Riker glanced up. "Number One. " He nodded at his first officer, who nodded back at him. "Is she...?" "Asleep. I didn't want to wake her. " Riker glanced back at her and then returned his attention to his Captain. "No, I suspect not, you and she have been through a great ordeal I gather. I can only imagine..." "With all due respect sir, I don't think you can...imagine. " Will spoke softly, but the tone of his voice betrayed his sincerity. Jean-Luc raised one eyebrow in question. "Why don't we take this to Dr. Crusher's office, so we don't disturb her. " "Yes sir. " Will carefully hopped down from the biobed, and with one last backward glance towards Deanna's sleeping form, he followed his Captain into the other room. When they entered, Beverly glanced up from her PADD and smiled. "Will! Up and about again, I see?" "Absolutely. I've missed this place. " He grinned. Glancing at the Captain, and then back at Will, Crusher set her PADD down on a nearby table. "Shall I leave the two of you alone?" Beverly asked, as nonchalantly as she was able, but Picard belayed her question. "No, Beverly. There will be time enough for an official report later. I think, for the time being we should have a discussion...among friends. Off the record. " He tossed a look of askance towards Will who nodded and seemed to relax a little at the suggestion. Good. There would be plenty of opportunity for tension afterwards. It would come. He was sure of it, but the longer he could put it off, the better. Finally, long moments later, it was Beverly who finally began to speak. "Will...what happened down there? We were looking for you for six days. When we found you, Ensign Parker had already been dead for nearly that long, and you and Deanna were in some sort of a comma. It's a miracle that you survived as long as you did, actually. Impossible, really...with your injuries being what they were, but Deanna shouldn't have been hurt at all. I just don't...." "Doctor. " Will cut in gently. "Beverly. I'm not even sure if I should tell you without having Deanna here, it's...difficult to explain, and I'm not even sure how much of it I understand myself..." He shook his head, frustration plain on his features. "Does this have something to do with your...relationship with the Counsellor, Number One?" Picard sat forward in his chair when he asked the question, knowing it would make Will uncomfortable, but unable to hold off any longer. For his part, Riker merely met his gaze square on. "Yes, sir, it does. " "I see. " Picard sighed and Beverly suddenly looked more than a little uncomfortable herself. "I'm no expert on Betazoid relationships, Will, but...." "Neither am I sir. " Will smiled as he spoke, lightening the tension somewhat, and Beverly stifled a small smile of her own. "Indeed. Somehow I think you're more educated on the subject than I am, Number One. " Will nodded slightly. "Sir, what happened down there...is difficult to explain. Why don't I just start at the beginning. I'll leave out the parts I should probably let Deanna attend to herself, but as to the rest of it.... I'd have to say it all began when we made first contact with an alien race...." * * * "...I was certain I was about to die, and in a strange way, I wasn't even scared.... I felt...safe, somehow. It was the damnedest thing sir. And the next thing I knew, I heard voices and woke up here in sick bay. " An hour and a half later, Will leaned forward as he finished recounting (what he felt comfortable retelling about) their encounter on Rhesuvius IV. For his part, Picard sat unmoving and silent. Beverly let out a long held breath. "Gods, Will...that is incredible. Forgive me, but I just don't see how that would have been possible...the state you were in when we found you was the same state you were in immediately after the accident, there's no way you could have..." "I know doctor, I know. " Will stood and began to pace. "By rights, none of it should have happened, but it did. And Deanna will back me up. We couldn't have *both* shared the same dream in a comma. " "How do you know for sure, Number One?" "I beg your pardon, sir?" "You haven't spoken with Deanna since you arrived on the ship, she's been in recovery, how do you know she'll back up your account? Don't misunderstand, I'm not suggesting that you've fabricated anything here, however, the evidence does seem to suggest that perhaps you were indeed experiencing some form of...dream state. " "I just *know* sir. I can't tell you how, but once Deanna wakes up, she'll confirm the same thing. She was there, right beside me when it all happened. " "When what all happened?" Deanna's musical, albeit a little tired, voice carried into the office. "Deanna! You're awake, what are you doing out of bed?" Beverly leapt to her feet and moved to hug her friend who now stood framed in the doorway to her office. Troi smiled, accepting the hug without comment, her eyes met Will's across the small room and she saw something in them she hadn't seen in a very long time. Glancing away purposefully, she missed his answering frown. But she felt it, non the less. "Well, it's difficult to rest when the three of you are in here discussing me behind my back. " She countered in mock-reproach, but Beverly laughed her off, leading her instead to an empty seat next to Will. "We were doing no such thing. In fact, Will refused to discuss portions of what happened to the two of you down there, because he claimed it wasn't his right. " "Did he?" Deanna found her eyes drawn to his once again, and this time didn't look away. "Mmm. About your encounter with a new race, apparently. " Picard leaned forward. "I'd appreciate your insight as well. " For another instant, Troi's gaze remained locked with Riker's before she turned to the Captain. "I'm afraid I don't have any insight to offer, Captain. We were in an accident, but I don't recall there being any alien race. In fact, I don't recall much beyond the first day, actually. " Will's head snapped up and he tossed her an expression of utter shock. "Deanna...." "I'm sorry Will" She glanced away quickly. " I'm really not feeling very well, I'd like to be released to my quarters if that's alright. I'll file a report as soon as I've had a little rest?" Picard glanced at Beverly who nodded. "Of course, Counsellor. I'd like both you and Commander Riker to take the next 72 hours off and recuperate, after which I'll expect a full report from each of you. " The Enterprise's Captain watched as Troi rose from her seat, making her way quietly from the office and out into the corridor beyond. For several uncomfortable moments, no one spoke, until Picard broke the silence. "Well, Number One, it appears what you experienced may very well have *been* a dream. Deanna's medical scans showed no temporal loss of memory, and we all know that Betazoids don't lie, so perhaps there's another explanation entirely for what you believe happened. " Will listened as the Captain finished speaking and rose from his own seat. He heard his own voice respond to his superior officer but wasn't sure it was even he who spoke the words. "Yes sir. " Deanna's memory was in tact. And Betazoids didn't lie. But out of Doctor Crusher's office, walked one particular Betazoid, who for the first time in her life...just had.
Deanna sighed at her reflection in the mirror as she brushed out her long, dark hair. Though she'd performed the same ritual every night for the past thirty four years, it seemed impossible to untangle the uncooperative mass of curls which framed her face this night. With an exasperated breath, she finally tossed the brush down and spun away from the mirror. Impossible! It was all just...impossible! Her door chime beeped cheerily and she cast an icy glare in it's direction. "Who is it?" She called, finally giving in to the insistent cheep. "Deanna, it's me. We need to talk. " Troi shut her eyes and let out a long, slow breath. "It's late, Will, I'm exhausted and I'm probably not very good company either. Can this wait until morning?" "Counsellor, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me. " His answering challenge returned. "I beg your pardon?" Deanna shook her head, unwilling to relive the last time they'd had that same conversation, and too frustrated to even be intrigued. "Will, that's not funny. And I *am* tired. Please...just.... I need to be alone tonight. Alright?" "No, Dee it's not alright. It's been twenty four hours since we've been back onboard and you haven't said more than three words to me. Now I want to know what's going on. I think you owe me an explanation, at the very least. But if you'd prefer we had this conversation through your cabin door and out into the open hallway, then that's just fine with me, I've got nothing but..." Will was suddenly surprised by the opening of the door he'd been leaning on, and nearly tumbled into Deanna's quarters before being pulled the rest of the way inside by his arm as the door slid shut once again. "You're a nervous wreck. " Riker felt the words tumble from his mouth almost before he knew he had. Her feelings were almost overwhelming. Ever since their...stay...together on the Planet's surface, the link they shared had been enhanced at least tenfold. Ignoring his statement, Deanna turned from him and gazed out of her window. "You wanted to talk. So talk. " "Deanna...what is it? Have I said or done something? You can tell me anything, you know that. " Will took a step towards her, only to have her move two steps in the opposite direction without so much as glancing his way. Well, at least she could still sense his presence - and if the intensity of her nearness was affecting *him* this way, she _had_ to be at least as aware. The question was, what the hell was upsetting her this way? "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm tired. That's all, and I'm being kept awake having this...silly conversation. " Letting her arms fall to her sides in exasperation, Deanna sighed loudly and Will stiffened. "Alright Counsellor, you want it that way, that's fine with me. Why don't we start with the fact that you lied to the Captain? Or were you tired then as well?" Deanna turned sharply and fixed him with an icy stare. "Don't be ridiculous Will, I never lie. You know as well as I do that Betazoids don't lie. " "Maybe not, but humans do. " "I fail to see your point, *Commander*. " "I don't think so. " Will shook his head and advanced towards her slowly. This time, she held her ground, though he continued. "I think you have no trouble seeing my point at all. In fact, I'm so damn sure that you're more terrified than anything else right now, that I would bet every credit I own on it. And the fact that you wouldn't pull away if I took you into my arms right now. Deanna's eyes widened with each word Riker spoke. "That is the most arrogant, egotistical, self-important...impossibly *wrong* assessment you have ever made in your entire life, Will and if you-" Will seized the opportunity her verbal tirade had afforded him and closed the distance between their bodies. He caught her in his arms and captured one of her hands in his, lacing his fingers through hers and pulling her towards him. He'd been right. Whether from surprise or the still-new surge of impossible need he felt from her in that very moment, he was never sure, but she did not pull away from him. "If I what? My God Deanna...tell me you don't feel...this...this...." Will closed his eyes and leaned forward, brushing against her head with his own. "When I touch you..." He whispered..."It's like my soul is complete. Everything, all of it. Dee...it was never like this before, never and I've wanted you every day for seventeen years even so. What happened to us, down there?" "I don't know..." Deanna breathed, her own eyes closed slowly and she shivered without meaning to. "Will please...I don't want this..." She felt herself speak the words, yet could not force her body to act on them. Riker bent his head and murmured into her ear, softly. "I can feel what you're feeling Dee...I know that's not true. " "I don't *want* to want this Will...please. I just need to *think*. I need to-" Will sighed and did the thing which she could not bring herself to do. He separated from their embrace, though their hands lingered together until he had taken too many steps backward for that to remain possible. Riker held Troi's gaze for several eternal instants before she turned from him in silence, crossing her arms over her chest protectively. He dropped his head and frowned. For long moments, neither spoke. "Did I really dream all of that, down on the Planet's surface?" His softly spoken question was enough to cause Deanna turn and regard him, standing only a few short feet away from her, looking as miserable as she probably did. They were quite a pair. Always had been. She shook her head and almost smiled...almost. "What do you think?" The response seemed coy, even to her ears. "I think I'm starting to be worried that it *was* a dream, and that I'm going crazy all alone, here. " "Well, you may be a great many things, Will Riker. But crazy isn't one of them. " Their eyes locked, though Will merely nodded. "Then why?" It was a simple question really. Tell him everything and let things go back to some semblance of normal, or continue as she had been, and watch the person she loved with all of her spirit suffer the consequences. Her heart cried out for her to confess everything to him. Except that she couldn't. And knowing that was quietly tearing her apart. She shook her head silently, and looked away, unable to meet his eyes any longer. "I see. " "The Captain...." "Doesn't know. " Will returned, and began to head back towards the entrance to her quarters where a set of double doors dutifully slid open for him. He paused at the open corridor and glanced back at her one last time before continuing..."I must have hit my head pretty damn hard down there. " It was the last thing he said to her before the doors slid shut behind him, and Deanna let out along, slow breath she hadn't even known she'd been holding. Helplessly, she reflected on the hurt he nurtured at her inability to confide in him, coupled with his unspoken promise to remain silent about the paradox inherent in her indiscretion, even so.... All of it swirled together and filled her spirit like a rush of insanity as the carefully constructed walls of the past twenty four hours begin to crumble all around her. Broken, and filled with anguish, the Counsellor of the U. S. S Enterprise sank to her knees on the floor of her cabin, placed her head in her hands and wept softly.
Lwaxana Troi, daughter of the Fifth House of Betazed, holder of the Sacred Chalice of Riix, heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed...set down a PADD of Ambassadorial trivialities and switched on the blinking comm unit at her desk. "Why William! To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?" The older woman regarded the CO of the Enterprise momentarily. "Gods, this isn't about Deanna...she's not..." "Oh no...no, absolutely not. Mrs. Troi...I'm sorry to have even given you that idea. Deanna is fine, just fine. Physically. I-" "Well no offence Commander, but you are a nervous wreck. And I don't need to read your mind over thousands of light years to pick that up, either. So go ahead...out with it. Why are you calling me in the middle of your night? As fond as I am of you, I'm certain this isn't a social call. " Will smiled and tipped his head characteristically. "No ma'am it's not. " "Oh please...I think we can dispense with the formalities by now, Lwaxana will do. " "I think I'd feel more comfortable with Mrs. Troi, honestly. " He grinned. With a wave of her hand, the older Troi dismissed the comment and shrugged. "Well, whatever makes you feel better. " Then she fixed him with a look of askance and he swallowed hard. What *had* made him decide to call the formidable Lwaxana Troi in the middle of the night, again? Oh yes...Oh...boy. "Well, actually, I was hoping.... I have a question, several actually, which I-" "A question? A question regarding my daughter? Oh, don't tell me the two of you have finally come to your senses and decided to get married? That's wonderful news!" "Oh...no, no, Mrs. Troi, no, Deanna and I...we aren't-" "You're not?" "No. " "Well why in heaven's name not? What are you waiting for, you're still in love with her aren't you?" Riker groaned inwardly. He'd known this would be a difficult call to make the moment he decided to key in the Troi household's personal communication code. A number he surprised himself by even remembering, after so many years. Then he surprised himself even more by responding: "Yes ma'am, I am. " "You are? I mean, you *are*, did you just admit that you *are* in love with my daughter, Commander? I don't believe you've ever done that in my presence before. " "Well, I was a coward before. I made several mistakes which I don't intend to repeat. " His voice suddenly became serious and Lwaxana frowned. "That sounds awfully morbid, William. What's happened?" Riker took a deep breath and composed himself. She couldn't read his thoughts over a comm link, but the older woman always seemed to be able to make him as nervous as a school-boy even so. He finally decided to simply start at the beginning, and tell her...everything. Or almost everything. Some of it, he wasn't even sure *he* understood, but hopefully she could help him fill in the blanks which Deanna was unwilling to. He began with their first night together in the darkness of the cavern on an away-mission gone horribly wrong; he spoke of being on the brink of death, and the suddenness with which he had found himself filled with Deanna's presence. Recounting all of it, just as he remembered, Will Riker sat forward in his chair as the last words tumbled forth, and for the first time in his life, was met with the stunned *silence* of the Troi matriarch. For long moments, she simply stared past him, through the view screen of their comm link. A state of affairs which was more than a little unnerving for him. Deadly viruses he could take, hostile encounters with formidable new races, "all part of the service. "...but this...*silence* was killing him. "Mrs. Troi?" He finally began, tentatively testing the waters. She seemed startled for a moment, but quickly composed herself. "What-? Oh, I'm sorry. William, are you *certain* that your...link...to my daughter is stronger now? That you can feel her with you, all around you?" Will nodded somewhat dumbly. "I've never been more sure of anything. It seems to get stronger the nearer we are to one another, and when I touch her..." "I think I understand. " Lwaxana, if it were possible, seemed to colour slightly. "What I don't know...what she won't tell me," Will added with a note of audible frustration. "...is how it happened, or what this means...." "No, I imagine not. " Deanna's mother suddenly smiled. "Do you have any *idea* how rare it is for even Betazoid couples to experience this kind of sharing, William? It's almost a legend, it happens so infrequently. I'm sure you've heard bits and pieces here and there, " "Here and there. " Will confirmed. "But nothing which even remotely comes close to explaining what's happening to us. And to make matters worse, Deanna will hardly speak to me. She refuses to let me in, and does her best to avoid me whenever we're in public. I don't know what to think anymore, honestly. Of if I've done something wrong...? I was hoping you could tell me..." "Oh my boy..." She laughed. "No, no you haven't done anything wrong, at least in so far as I can tell. I think she's probably scared. You *are* human after all, no offence. " "None taken. " Will afforded her a wry smile. "And she's only half Betazoid, yet you're sharing an Imzadi link more powerful than almost anyone on Betazed has in the past century! I imagine that's somewhat difficult for Deanna to reconcile. Had the two of you spoken to one another...romantically, before the away mission, at all?" Riker cleared his throat. It wasn't in his nature to discuss his personal life with anyone outside of...well, his personal life. But in this instance, he had little choice. "No, not exactly. Actually, not at all. She and I have agreed not to cross that line so long as we serve together. To avoid complications. It's worked so far. " "It's made you both frustrated and miserable when you're not pining away for one another, that's what it's made you. And don't try and pawn off all of that overbearing "Starfleet" logic on me, young man. I invented intellectual decision-making, and I'm the first to admit that it's a total disaster when it comes to matters of the heart. " Riker was modest enough to glance downward briefly. "Well, to be honest, I have tried a couple of times. But Deanna isn't interested. I've accepted that. " "Pffft! Deanna isn't interested?! You must have hit your head harder than you thought Commander...and a lot of years earlier, if that's what you believe. " Lwaxana shook her head and sighed dramatically. "Well, she's told me..." "She's *told* you what she thinks is the right thing to tell you. I'll *tell* you something. She doesn't even know that I know this, but a mother knows. The next time you're in her quarters, take a look on the top right shelf of her wardrobe. " "Excuse me?" Will shook his head, perplexed. "Just do it, Commander. Then tell me she isn't interested. " Riker shrugged. "Will you tell me more about the bond?" The older woman nodded, relaxing back into her large chair for a moment. "Alright. But I really shouldn't be discussing this with you before I've discussed it with Deanna. She *is* my daughter. " "I understand that Mrs. Troi, and I've very grateful. " "Yes, yes...just do me one favour will you?" "Whatever is within my power. " Will leaned forward. "Oh this is definitely within your power. *When* you marry my daughter...do an old woman a favour and have a traditional ceremony? She keeps threatening to have Jean-Luc perform the ceremony with everyone in dress uniform, and while I adore Jean-Luc, I simply cannot abide..." "Wait a second. SHE has discussed *our* getting married with you before?" Riker nearly hit his head on the comm unit leaning even farther forward -- but Lwaxana merely smiled. "Now why would she do that Commander? She's not interested, remember?" "I remember, I remember. " Will swallowed and tried to contain his racing heartbeat. "But where was I? Oh yes, about the bond -- which, by the way, is going to make the two of you something of a celebrity planet side the next time you visit. " She winked at him and then, off of Will's stricken expression, added, "Don't worry I won't speak of it until everything's been settled on your end..." "...The two of you have joined your souls in more ways than one. It's no longer a figure of speech, William. Which is why it's so uncommon. Even the most devoted of Imzadi couples within a moment of desperation such as you and Deanna encountered rarely find their souls are wholly destined to be together. Now that your spirits have recognised one another, it's said that you will travel as one the end of time. A romantic notion, I agree, but judging by what you've described to me, you and Deanna are already sharing far more than most Imzadi ever do. " Will sighed deeply. "So Deanna forged the completion of the bond when she thought that I was dying..." Lwaxana nodded. "When you *were* dying William. And if you had died, just as you've probably heard already, she would have followed you there as well. But make no mistake, she could never have done it on her own. You had to have helped...and you had to have shared the same depth of feeling for her, as she felt for you, or even your spirits wouldn't have been able to pull you together. " She regarded him appraisingly for a moment. "I misjudged you Commander. The day I met you, I would never have imagined..." Trailing off, she let out a short breath. "Or, perhaps I didn't want to imagine anything other than my own designs. Even a Mother makes mistakes, you know. " "Well, I may not always have agreed with you were Deanna was concerned back then, but I have always admired your dedication and your love for your daughter. I wish I'd had a parent who cared as much for my well being as you do for hers. She's lucky to have you in her life. " Will pulled down on his uniform uncomfortably at the admission. These kinds of situations were never easy for him, and perhaps that too was a product of his misspent childhood. For several seconds Lwaxana Troi simply stared at the Commander of the Enterprise, and for a brief moment, he almost thought he saw the beginnings of tears in her eyes, but if they were ever there, they disappeared before ever being realised. Then she smiled suggestively. "There's something else interesting you might want to know about the history of this particular bond. Something...very special, and very unique. " Her eyes sparkled as she spoke and Riker was instantly curious. "Let me let you in on a little secret, William Riker...and afterwards, never say I wasn't on your side..." The older woman chuckled and leaned forward in her chair as she began to speak. With every word she uttered, Will's eyes grew wider.
"Honestly, Bev, I think it's just nerves. I'm probably experiencing latent symptoms from the accident. I'll be fine, really. " Deanna smiled. "Have you spoken to anyone about it yet? You know, sometimes even the Counsellor needs a little counselling. " Dr. Crusher pinned Troi with a thoughtful gaze. "No, I haven't. If it were interfering with my duties, or with my rationale, then you know that I would, but I simply don't feel that it's necessary. It'll take me a little while to get over the 'shell shock' of the moment, but that's far from abnormal. " "Have you been sleeping well?" "Of course. " "Nightmares?" Beverly continued, undaunted. Deanna sighed. "No, no nightmares. " "Dee...I've known you for years, you're one of my dearest friends. I can tell when something isn't right with you, whether you want to deny it or not. So I have to ask...." "I have a feeling I can sense what's coming. " "Good! That bodes well for a full recovery then, doesn't it?" Beverly grinned and Deanna rolled her eyes. "Why are you avoiding Will?" "Oh no, not you too?" Troi sighed loudly. "I'm not *avoiding* him, I'm simply...." "Trying not to be in the same place at the same time that he is?" Crusher finished helpfully and was rewarded with a tired shake of the Counsellor's head. "You could say that. But it has nothing to do with any kind of 'medical' condition, Beverly. It's personal. " "Really?" Beverly Crusher's eyes lit up and Deanna winced, feeling the implication immediately. "Not *that* kind of personal. I'd rather not discuss it quite frankly. " "Alright. Look, Dee, I didn't mean to pry or to make you uncomfortable, but all kidding aside? I'm worried about you. You've become reserved, almost, ever since we brought you back from the planet's surface. You don't even have to talk to *me* about it, in fact, if you weren't the ship's Counsellor already I'd suggest you talk with her, she's really very good. " Crusher winked and Deanna couldn't help but smile back. "BUT, since you're somewhat in a predicament here, I would strongly advise, as both your Doctor *and* your friend, that you do speak with *someone*. Maybe even Will..." "I don't think so..." Deanna shook her head adamantly. "Why not?" Beverly pressed on, undaunted. "Deanna, whatever this 'personal' thing is between the two of you, you and I both know that he cares very deeply for you. And, he was also the only other person who shared what you were going through down there. I'd say the two of you are long overdue for a heart to heart. " "That's exactly why it's impossible!" Troi blurted, without meaning to, and then turned away before catching more than a hint of Beverly's arched eyebrow. "I'd better get back to my office, I've got a patient arriving in half an hour. Are we through here?" The Enterprise's CMO let out a long, slow breath. "Yes, we're through. " But as Deanna began to walk quickly from her office, Crusher called out. "Deanna! Do me a favour? Take care of yourself...and whatever happens, keep an eye out for Will. I know you're upset right now, but he doesn't seem himself either, and I'm worried about him. He tends to build his walls even higher than you do. " Deanna thoughtfully regarded Beverly for several moments. Then, nodding wordlessly, she took her leave. Crusher stared at her computer terminal until the reflection of her own face in the empty screen seemed to mock her. Then she tapped her comm badge. ={Crusher to Picard}= ={Go ahead, Doctor}= ={Jean-Luc, I need a favour}= ={Of course, what is it?}= ={It's about an order I need you to issue...}= Picard raised one eyebrow. ={Explain. }=
Will Riker walked down the corridor at a professionally brisk pace, slowing only momentarily to smile or to return the greetings of junior officers who paused to express their salutations. This would be his last stop before the end of his duty shift, and he was looking very forward to some much needed down time in Ten Forward. He'd had two days to contemplate Lwaxana's words...Two days and he realised now more than ever, that while he understood the implications of what had happened far more clearly, he would never truly be able to reconcile everything until Deanna was willing to speak with him about it. All of it -- and the damnedest part was the waiting. Hell, she was acting like a complete stranger! Finding excuses to leave any room he entered, and unwilling to meet his eyes for more than a few seconds at a time when they found themselves forced to spend any length of time together. It was driving him crazy. And not just because the wholly irrational side of him always wailed in frustration every time she'd brush past him, yet never so much as touch him lightly, even the way she used to when they'd been friends. Now, with the bond so strong it threatened to consume what was left of his sanity, she held him at arms length. Refusing to either acknowledge, or disavow the feelings he knew, *knew* she was going through as well. It tortured him as surely as the thought that she was enduring as much, or more, of the same pain, all by herself. And there was nothing he could do to make it stop for either of them. Nothing she would allow him to do, at least. Will entered a Turbolift and turned sharply. "Deck 11". He barked, grateful for the solitude it offered him. The hum of the lift was marginally comforting. A steady pulse which alleviated a certain amount of the agonising need he seemed to feel all the time lately. It wasn't fair. Childishly, he allowed the stray thought to enter his consciousness. It wasn't the least bit fair. Without the amplification of the bond, without knowing how incredible if felt to reach out to her and quietly feel her spirit join with his, he might have been able to let things go. Had she been any other woman, in any other circumstance, he may have even found the strength to push aside the endless craving he felt for her and force himself to move on. But she wasn't, and he couldn't, and damn all of Betazed for forcing him to realise just how painfully addictive it could be when a soul fell in love. The lift doors were open. He had no idea for how long, for when a hesitant ensign gently tapped him on the shoulder, he nearly decked the young man reflexively. "Sorry..." Riker muttered, "Carry on. " He made his way down the corridor and towards his final destination. * * * "Geordi?" Will stepped inside of the Enterprise's galaxy renowned arboretum and was instantly assailed by the thickness of the moisture in the air. A faint mist covered every glass surface and even a portion of the titanium bulkheads which in this place, also doubled as a home for creeping flora of every description. "Geordi?" He repeated, glancing around, and finding no trace of the Enterprise Chief Engineer anywhere. "The Captain informed me that you need an access code? What's causing the lockout anyway?" Though his voice carried well into the vast jungle of plant life, there was still no response. Will began to make is way farther into the dense foliage, carefully picking a path which seemed previously worn. Sighing in frustration, he finally raised a hand to tap the comm badge at his chest when he suddenly froze there. He'd been preoccupied, that was for sure, thinking of everything and anything else, and yet there was no mistaking the way he felt right now. She was here...somewhere. He could feel her nearness like a narcotic, luring him forward. Glancing up, Riker noticed for the first time just how tall the trees had grown in the enclosed space, how vast the ship actually was...and how incredibly beautiful Deanna looked standing not thirty feet away from him, facing in the opposite direction. Her hair had been swept up only half way and held in place by a loose clip, and her casual outfit, more utilitarian than anything else, made him wish he could take her into his arms and feel the softness of the fabric against the softness of her skin. Irrational. Completely irrational, but vivid, non the less. "Dee. " He whispered. Knowing she could hear him despite the distance they stood apart. She'd known he was there. Just as he had sensed her presence earlier. She'd chosen to remain silent. Deanna shut her eyes and let out a slow breath. "Geordi isn't here. Neither is the patient of mine I came to see. I think we've both been misled. " Her voice was quiet, resigned. Will felt her isolation, her quiet sorrow -- and it nearly broke his heart. "You don't have to stay. I know you've been uncomfortable around me, lately. I'm sorry. I had nothing to do with this..." She turned then, reached up and pulled the clip from her hair, shaking it loose entirely. Her eyes were large and dark and...filled with conflict as she allowed the plastic ornament to slip through her fingers and tumble into the grass at her feet. She looked so fragile in that moment, that Will was almost afraid to breathe. "You were right. " Just a whisper, a faint trickle. Will watched her features until he realised she hadn't actually spoken, out loud. "Deanna, I should tell you..." [[I'm frightened. Will, I'm so desperately afraid of what I've done. And I'm ashamed. ]] Will felt his heart curl into a knot, but knew that there was nothing he could say which would assuage her pain. He met and held her gaze instead, feeling the undeniable strength of their connection swirl around them. [[And on top of everything, I stole your right to choose...I took it, and I *knew*.... I knew exactly what I was doing. What I did, was-]] [[For love. ]] Will finished for her, quickly tossing the thought in amidst her own before she'd had the opportunity to castigate herself further. He felt her train of thought cease abruptly, her resolution falter and her heart begin to race, just as his had been from the moment he saw her. [[Deanna I was there. I remember. And in case you've forgotten, I swung the door wide open and let you in. ]] Will felt, or rather thought he felt, the tiniest brush of her mind against his. He reached out instinctively to gather it back before the moment was lost, but she pulled away too quickly. [[You didn't understand. ]] "I understood. " He countered, this time with words. "I used you. " She murmured softly. "I'd give almost anything to feel you with me again, the way we were that night. " She raised her head found his eyes fixed on her. For a moment, all of the confusion of the past several days seemed to dissolve, and she knew only the purity of what she felt for him. For a moment, only. Then it became suddenly clear. [[You still don't understand!]] Deanna threw the thought back at him and turned away, moving down another wider path towards the arboretum doorway. Riker watched her for less than a second before shutting his eyes and letting out a long, slow breath. The words of someone far wiser echoed inside of his mind and he smiled, holding them private, even from Deanna. ****Let me let you in on a little secret, William Riker...and afterwards, never say I wasn't on your side...**** Clearing his mind from everything incidental, he focussed all of his attention on the woman who moved farther away from him with every passing second. He imagined her standing, just as she had been, before him; imagined he knew every nuance of her form and stature, every feature on her beautiful face and every curve of her body. And then he reached out to her...he reached out and.... Troi froze in her tracks, shivered and spun back around, wide eyed. It was as gentle as a breath of air, at first. Soft and compelling, entirely sensual. She felt his fingertips along her arm, and then the small of her back, causing her to shiver unexpectedly. [[How...??]] Her question tumbled against his thoughts, and seemed born more of surprise and instinct than anything else. [[You didn't know?]] He sent back, and imagined he was pulling her into his arms, pressing gently against her body and feeling the warm softness of her skin under his lips. Deanna's mouth flew open as she gasped for breath, her eyes fluttered shut momentarily and thought she struggled to regain what was left of her sanity, she knew that she was doomed in the instant that she felt his arms encircle her waist, and the softness of his breath against her ear as he whispered.... [[Imzadi.... ]] Helplessly, Deanna sank to her knees in the soft grass near the arboretum doorway and felt her mind instinctively reach out to counter the touch of her lover, in kind. Without pause, Will closed the distance between them and came to stand before her. So caught up was she in the newness of the moment, that Deanna barely had time to raise her head and acknowledge his physical presence when he too fell to a kneeling position juxtaposing her own, and took her face gently between the palms of his hands. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but he stilled her lips, brushing his thumb across them. "Shhh...stop thinking. Stop remembering. You're not alone. Let me share it. Please, Dee...let me in. " "I can't" She moaned softly, turning her head and feeling the tips of his fingers caress her jawline, not sensually, not with the touch of a lover, but reverently -- while his thoughts were filled with offered strength. "I - CAN'T!" crying out in frustration, Deanna raised her arms to grasp his wrists and pushed them downward, away from her face. Her tears flowing freely now, the Counsellor of the Enterprise struggled to rise to her feet, belaying Will's every attempt to reach out to her. As she finally attained purchase, Troi spun round and made it to the arboretum doorway, grasping at the doorframe while she quickly caught her breath. But when she took her next step forward, Will's thoughts tumbled against her own, and for the first time in her life, Deanna was completely unprepared for the profound note of desperation found within his message. [[Imzadi. Please don't shut me out. ]] Frozen mid step, Deanna clenched her fists and fought to bring her thoughts into focus, along with her body. She failed miserably. Blindly searching for escape, Troi pushed forward, leaving the arboretum behind, and Will with it. But in her wake, one final thought remained. On the other side of the bulkhead, surrounded by an incredible garden, Will Riker cursed and tore at the soft grass under him, tossing it aside ruthlessly. "Yes I do!" He called out to no one in particular, and then added more softly. "God help me, I *do* understand. And maybe it's time I proved it to you..." The buzzing of insects, and the slow steady hum of the Enterprise in motion seemed to pulse in agreement.
"Then perhaps it was simply a spatial anomaly?" Captain Picard furrowed his brow in concentration. "That theory does present a certain plausibility, Sir. " Data chimed in. "What I don't understand," Lieutenant Geordi LaForge muttered. "...is how we could have overlooked it until now. " "Indeed. " Picard glanced out the window of the observation lounge briefly. "Thoughts, Number One?" The room grew silent; the eyes of three officers trained on the fourth during what was to have been an impromptu troubleshooting session with only the four of them. "Number One?" "Enterprise to Commander Riker..." Geordi smiled as he watched the XO, literally, staring off into space. "*Commander*, are you with us this afternoon?" The cadence of the Captain's voice rose only slightly, as it ever did, when he became annoyed. Will Riker turned suddenly and met the bemused, curious and intense gazes of LaForge, Data and Picard, respectively. "I'm sorry sir. " The Commander knew there was no valid come-back for such daydreaming, Picard mused. But for Will Riker not to even bother to attempt one? There was something wrong with that scenario. "Alright. Dismissed then, we'll discuss this further if our primary two theories don't pan out. Mr LaForge, Mr. Data, keep me apprised. " "Yes Sir. " The two officers turned and left the room, while Will stood from his chair to do the same. "Commander, a word please. " Damn it. Riker sighed inwardly. "Sir?" "Number One, is something bothering you?" "No Sir. I just- didn't get enough sleep last night, I think. I apologise for my lack of attentiveness in the meeting, there was no excuse, it won't happen again. " "Will, as your Captain, I consider you a damn fine officer. " "Thank you Sir. " Riker knew the response was forced, but he hadn't much more to offer. "...But I am also aware that even a damn fine officer may be...affected...from time to time with personal issues. " "I'm glad you understand, Captain. " "...the trick," Picard continued without pause. "...is to see to it that those issues do not disrupt one's duties. " Riker stiffened. "Yes Sir. " Will nodded and turned to leave once more. "Have a seat Commander. " Riker sighed, this time audibly. "With all due respect, Sir, I'd rather not. " Picard nodded. "Objection noted. Sit down. " Wordlessly, Riker sank into one of the conference chairs. The Captain of the Enterprise walked over to the replicator and ordered his usual. "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. May I offer you something?" "No thanks. " Picard sipped his tea and came to stand at the head of the conference table. "Number One, we've served together for over seven years. During that tenure I've come to depend upon your counsel. I would hope, that you felt similarly. I consider you a friend as well as a first officer. " "Likewise Sir, I would just rather not discuss this issue with...anyone. " "But you'll have to eventually. " The Captain added, matter-o-factly. "Eventually. " Will conceded. "Now just...isn't a good time. " "I see. " For long moments, Picard was silent, and Riker shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He felt like a little kid in detention. Truth be told, Will hated when the older man pulled rank to iron out personal traumas; hated it, even though he knew it was a necessary evil and that he would do the same himself, especially with a friend. There was simply more to it this time than even the Captain was aware of. "You know, Number One, I do understand what it's like to wish things had taken a different road. " Riker nearly choked. "Excuse me, Sir?" "You're within your rights to keep your personal issues to yourself Commander. But as a friend, I am hoping that you'll find a way to trust *someone* and soon. " "Captain..." "Before someone gets irrevocably hurt, in a situation which could have been prevented..." Picard went on. "Sir, I-" "Someone who is dear as a friend, not only to you or I, but to the entire ship's crew. " "What is that supposed to mean?" Riker sat forward suddenly. Picard raised an eyebrow, but Will did not back down, instead, the two men locked gazes for an undetermined amount of time before Riker finally placed both hands on the table in front of him, stood and made his way to one of the expansive floor to ceiling bay windows of the suite. He remained there, gazing out into the stars for some moments without speaking. "I love her. " He finally whispered. For his part, Picard made no indication of whether or not he had even heard the remark. Which was perhaps, the most telling indication of all. "For a long time, for years, I shoved all of it aside. I told myself it was friendship, a deep abiding friendship and nothing more. I lived for my career, for this ship and her crew. I've done everything a good Star Fleet Commander should do. But all that time, I-" Will trailed off quietly, tracing an unseen shape in the window before him. Picard set his mug down and let out a slow breath. "Sometimes, Commander, Fulfilment *is* compromise. Our goals and dreams are not always achieved via the straightest or the most apparent route. " "I feel like I'm losing...everything. My control, my focus. " "Illusions. Both of them. Easily recreated. Perhaps letting go of them for a short while has finally allowed you to see past them, towards what really matters. " "And that would be?" Will smiled ruefully. "I'm sure you already know, Number One. At some point, we must, all of us, look back and discover what it was we made our sacrifices for, that which holds the most meaning in the sum of our fleeting existence. Travel through the vastness of space for long enough, as we all have, and one comes to feel a keener desire to discover that significance. " Picard thinned his lips. "To seek out new life, and new civilisation. Perhaps even...the road not taken. " Will didn't respond. But both men turned their gazes towards the stars, standing in companionable silence while the vastness of space bore the Enterprise ever onward.
"Is this seat taken?" "I'm not very good company, I don't feel much like talking tonight. " "Who said anything about talking? I'd just like to sit with the most depressed person in Ten Forward. " "Somehow, I find that difficult to imagine. " "Deanna..." "Will" She sighed. "I really don't want to do this again. " "Neither do I. Listen, there's something I need to show you. " He watched her expression transform into a familiar shade of dread and shook his head quickly, negating the response. "No, no...you have my word, we won't discuss any of those...other things that you don't want to discuss. Nothing even close. On my honour. But I *would* like to request your company and your Counsel this evening. As ship's Counsellor, that is. " "There's a first. " Troi smiled lopsidedly, nursing her drink. "Well then you should be proud of me. Admitting my own shortcomings. You said it would never happen. " "Oh, I am proud of you -- for the first part. But you haven't admitted anything yet. " "That's because you haven't agreed to come with me yet. " He countered, leaning forward and placing one elbow on the table in order to prop up his boyish smile. She rolled her eyes. "Alright, Commander. But the moment you attempt to turn this into something it's not-" "You have my permission to vaporise me with the nearest available phaser rifle. " He grinned. "How could I refuse an offer like that?" She whispered, smiling too sweetly for Will's taste. "So you'll come?" "I'll come. Where exactly are we going, anyway?" "Holodeck three. " He shrugged off her look. "Will...." "Hey, I promised didn't I? You'll just have to trust me. You'd know it if I were planning something different, especially now..." He trailed off, realising what he'd said. She had begun to smile but dropped the attempt as he finished his sentence. Swell Riker, make her even more uncomfortable than she already was. Brilliant thing to say. He sighed. "So how about we just go?" Troi nodded wordlessly and watched him rise across from her. Then he lifted her hand gently from the table and took it in his, trying to feign ignorance of the electricity which filled both of them at the merest touch. Riker listened to her let out a short breath. This was going to take a *lot* more getting used to if they were going to keep that 'invisible line' in tact. How was he supposed to continue to ignore the fact that in addition to emotions he'd already been grappling with for years, being near her now set his soul on fire...And touching her?...Touching her made him...insanely frustrated. There was of course, the alternative to insanity.... An alternative he was certain they BOTH knew existed. But she'd probably kill him for it.... Still, a few desperate...incredible kisses later...maybe life wasn't worth much more then that anyway? Quite suddenly, Deanna dropped his hand and crossed her arms over her chest, regarding him with eyes so dark, he thought he might drown in them. Oh, she definitely knew. "Lead the way..." Troi finally gestured for him to precede her out of Ten Forward. And only once he'd taken the lead, solidly moving towards the double doors ahead, did she visibly allow her body to relax, her shoulders to fall back into place, and her lungs to exhale a very long, very slow breathe of air.
There were young people everywhere. Twenty-something students hurrying back and forth along the sidewalks, pathways and park lawns of one of the largest university campuses in the Alpha Quadrant. All moving with a kind of happily studious urgency that Will Riker found himself almost envious of, for the first time in his life. Tall trees towered over the bluest sky he had seen since the last time he'd been planetside, and a light, scented breeze caressed his hair just as he remembered it had, long ago. Taking a deep breath, Will waited...waited for her to enter the past with him one more time. "Oh my..." Deanna stepped through the holodeck archway and raised one hand to her lips. "It's probably not very accurate...but-" "No, no, Will...it's *very* good, I can't tell the difference...it's...it's just...why?" She turned to face him just as the computer entrance to their holographic environment shimmered out of existence. "Well," Riker sighed the breath of a man on trial. But he was smiling when next he spoke. "...This is exactly the way I remember things being...the day we met. " Deanna crossed her arms and regarded him for long moments before responding. As if she were trying with her eyes, to take in everything there was to know about him, all at once. It was even a little odd, Riker mused. Because as far as he was concerned, she *already* knew everything there was to know about him. Or at least, he thought she had. But something she saw in that instant seemed to satisfy her further, for she nodded slowly and he felt, as well as saw, her entire being relax. She hadn't reached out, hadn't sensed his thoughts or even probed his emotions on the issue...simply regarded him visually, by all accounts, and discovered something new. He was sure of it. But damned if he knew what it was. "You know," She began, speaking somewhat more coyly than she had ever since they'd returned from Rhesuvius IV. "Technically speaking, this isn't truly where we met...though I suppose we weren't formally introduced at the time. " Her eyes sparkled with mischief and he couldn't help but grin. "Not formally..." He admitted, raising his eyebrows to punctuate the point. She laughed. Laughed and it was as musical and wonderful a sound as he had ever heard in his life. Gods it was so good to hear her laugh again; to see her beautiful smile. "Walk with me?" He extended one arm towards her, and she found herself taking it without hesitation. Of Course...there was nothing to be hesitant about, was there? Deanna tossed the errant thought aside and concentrated on the scenery instead. "You know what's odd?" Her voice was nostalgic, and yet somewhat sad at the same time. "What?" "Well...it's just occurred to me that I've never been here before unless I had a class to attend, or some place else I needed to be. Just being here now makes me feel a little guilty, as if I'm supposed to be somewhere, and for the first time in my life I'm about to cut class..." She smiled ruefully. "Silly. " "You mean you've *never* cut a class in your life?" Will turned her until she was face to face with him. "Mmm, mmm. " She shook her head and shrugged at his dumbfounded look. "Well, Betazoid students don't skip class very often, Commander, lest you forget. A few now and then may have done it, but they were in the minority, and besides, I never saw the point personally. I may not have even fully understood back then but certainly I understand now, how much thought and effort a professor puts into his or her lectures -- not to mention the kind of knowledge one would willingly be giving up in order to do something, probably meaningless, for a few hours - in the end, what would be gained?" "You never saw the point...?" "Are you going to repeat *everything* I say?" Deanna huffed self consciously. Will grinned. "Tell you what, Dee...pretend you *do* have a class today. " "What? Why?" She shook her head perplexed. "Because, Counsellor, we're about to skip it..." Riker winked, let go her arm and grabbed her hand instead, dragging her out into the open park, away from the rush of student bodies. "Will, this is silly. " She announced, as they came to a stop near a sparkling fountain. "So what? Deanna, it's a holodeck, don't worry, you're not going to get in *trouble*. " "Ha, ha, very funny..." Troi met his gaze square on. "...You know, I thought this was supposed to be about you. You said you needed to talk. " "I do..." "So why here? Why like this?" "Because I want to start again..." Will cut in, taking her other hand in his and meeting her confused expression with his intense one. "Start...? Start what again?" Deanna fought down the insane urge to pull him forward. To pull herself into his arms and kiss him desperately. She glanced quickly to where their hands were joined, but couldn't bring herself to let go. "Everything. Start from the beginning. Haven't you ever wished that maybe you could go back in time and take a road, just one pathway in your lifetime that you wish you'd taken a long time ago? Maybe not something which would change the entire course of your life, but even if it did, something that you *knew* was a mistake to leave behind, untried...haven't you...." Deanna's gaped. "Everything...? You want to relive the last 17 years all over again...in here?" When he didn't respond immediately, Troi took a deep breath. "Well, that was a good session, Will, the shortest session I've ever had with anyone before on record, but I feel I can safely and professional offer my diagnosis now. " Deanna regarded him sympathetically and leaned forward before whispering.... "I take back what I said the other night. You *are* crazy. " To her utter surprise and dismay, Will broke into a wide smile. "Probably!" She shook her head as if to clear it. "You *can't* be serious. " "Well, I'm not talking about spending the next 17 years in a holodeck Deanna, if that's what you mean. That was *your* idea. But I do want to..." "Deanna? Deanna Troi? Is that you?" A familiar voice interrupted Will's sentence, but before he could gather his thoughts, a wall of shock slammed into him from Deanna's general direction. Whomever the bearer that voice was, she couldn't have been taken more off guard. "Will, this isn't funny..." She turned to him, a ready rebuke on her lips, but it died almost as quickly as it had sprung to life, and all the colour drained from her face when she realised that Will Riker was now feeling and carrying a look of complete surprise not unlike her own. He didn't know...he hadn't programmed the intrusion...but the alternative was impossible, it couldn't be happening, it.... "Deanna, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend, here?" For the second time in far too short a duration, Deanna found herself uttering a name she'd relegated to the past more than twenty years ago. Her thoughts swam, her mind struggled for focus, and then she heard herself whisper, almost as an afterthought.... "Dalyn...."
"Computer, freeze program!" Riker barked. The figure which had responded to the name 'Dalyn' suddenly halted in mid stride and became little more than a photonic statue. Will turned to Deanna who appeared visibly shaken, but otherwise in tact. "Just a hologram..." He let out a breath he hadn't even known he was holding. "But how in the hell...?" "I think I know..." Deanna responded softly. "Well, *I* certainly didn't put him in here. Are you telling me you know who did?" "Yes. " "I'm all ears..." "I did. " "I beg your pardon?" Will gaped. "Not intentionally. It's...a long story. " She sighed and ran her fingers through the loose hair near her ear, more out of habit than anything else. "I'd like to hear it. " Riker ventured, and to his surprise Deanna nodded slowly and shrugged. "Alright. This is as good a time as any. " Will watched her cast a glance at the now-frozen holographic character one more time. "Computer, delete character 'Dalyn' and resume program. " And suddenly the breeze was back, the air was crisp and there was no sign of Dalyn anywhere to speak of. Troi tossed Will a thankful look but he frowned. Whatever had happened just now, it was tied in to Deanna's entire attitude of late. Her withdrawal, and her melancholy. Something had been terribly wrong ever since their accident several weeks ago, and it was going to continue to be wrong until Will could figure out a way to win her trust back once again. "I don't even know where to begin...." She smiled ruefully and sank to a seated position at the base of the fountain. Will followed her lead and sat quietly beside her, without interrupting. "Some years ago, when I was an ensign, one of my first tasks for Starfleet was to collect and categorise certain of the public journals of the Betazoid scientist, Dalyn Raan. Starfleet Command assumed that with my training, as well as my previous history with Dalyn.... I would be the most suited to creating as accurate a record of his life and work as possible. " "I take it to mean then, that you were personally acquainted with the man..." Riker interrupted and Troi nodded slowly. "My work on that database is now Starfleet's primary record of Dalyn's life. The computer, no doubt, recognised that he would have known me when I was still at home in university, it probably added his character automatically when you called up the recreation..." She frowned thoughtfully. "So, this...Dalyn...he was a teacher of yours?" "Not exactly. He was killed in a shuttle accident when he was only thirty years old. " "I'm sorry..." Deanna didn't respond at first, but when she finally did continue, it was with a statement which knocked the breath out of Will Riker as effectively as a battering ram. "Dalyn Raan was the first man I ever loved. " When Will stiffened, Deanna forced a sense of affected serenity over her mind with practised determination, trying primarily to separate herself from the tempest of his emotions. She turned to face him before qualifying her earlier statement. "I was a young girl the first time I ever met him, and it was a child's kind of love, a first crush, if you will. " She smiled nostalgically. "He was five years older than me, a son of the ninth house, so we often attended the same functions as children. " "He must have made quite an impact. " She nodded slowly. Somehow, despite everything, she found herself unable to allow Will to believe that she had loved another man in the same way that she'd loved _him_. And perhaps even more disquieting was her own revelation.... That on the contrary, his immediate sense of relief upon her qualification had only made her feel a tremendous sense of happiness. "Oh yes, a very intense young man, always. He was so profound sometimes that even Mother would become frustrated with him, though she'd never admit it freely. I think he looked at life...at the universe...in a different way than most of us do. " She sighed and fingered a strand of her hair thoughtfully. "He really didn't pay any attention to me, romantically, until I was 17 years old and he was finishing his graduate studies in Temporal Physics. " "A university student. You must have been in your first year of Psychology by then as well, right?" "Exactly. " Deanna shifted and crossed her legs, folding her hands in her lap before continuing. "...and I hadn't seen Dalyn in nearly three years before that. The day we ran into each other.... It happened almost exactly as you saw a few minutes ago. " Will sat forward. "He recognised you across campus?" She nodded. "Well, speaking strictly as a member of the male gender, that doesn't exactly sound like a guy who was never interested, Dee..." Riker grinned and was rewarded with the slight colouring of his Imzadi's face. "I suppose. " She murmured. "Anyway, we hadn't spoken in years, and then we were suddenly spending a lot of time together. We would spend hours talking, until, most often Mother would cast her thoughts across all of Betazed, reminding me of my 'responsibilities' at home. " "You mean your arranged engagement to Wyatt?" Will cut in, gently. Deanna shook her head as though still affected by the embarrassment she must have been caused in her youth. "Yes. You weren't the only 'suitor' my mother managed to turn away at the gate, Will. No one was good enough for me unless they'd been born from a house *above* our own. I love my mother dearly, but sometimes she can be very primitive and superstitious. " "I hadn't noticed. " Will grinned expansively, and Deanna felt herself utterly disarmed by it, as always. She rolled her eyes and leaned into him gently. Riker didn't need any extra encouragement, he wrapped his arms around her and turned their bodies so that she remained in the crook of his arm. Her head tipped against his shoulder as he gently brushed his face against the top of her hair. "I don't recall turning away at the gate, either. " "No...no, you were definitely persistent. " Deanna sighed, allowing herself to feel the familiar sense of peaceful happiness which Will's presence had always brought to her. She felt his thoughts reach out to her and couldn't keep herself from meeting him half way. A sudden sense of wholeness swept over both of them, and she closed her eyes momentarily. The bond was so much stronger now...she knew that there wasn't much time left. She'd have to tell him sooner than later, whether she wanted to or not.... But later won out over sooner, and Deanna willed herself to continue their conversation instead. Just a little longer.... "You can't deny that Mother had...a somewhat less than charming effect on you, even so. " She smiled. "I didn't mind. Her daughter was more than 'charming' enough to make up for it. " He gave her a gentle squeeze with the remark and felt her nestle more closely into him. "...and actually, I've developed a healthy respect for your mother. She's a remarkable woman. " He admitted. Troi was struck nearly speechless by the sincerity she sensed from him. "I'm sorry, I think I've misplaced Will Riker...he was here a minute ago..." Her playful tease received a lusty laugh from the Commander of the Enterprise, who gathered her closer in his arms, but Deanna suddenly frowned, sensing something from him which she hadn't a moment earlier.... "Is there something you're not telling me, Commander?" "Not telling you?" "There *IS*...Will, have you spoken to my mother recently?" She twisted in his arms to regard him fully. "Dee, do you really think your mother and I would have a social visit without her contacting you before *and* afterwards to discuss...at the very least...your life or mine?" It wasn't exactly a lie, he'd simply answered one question with another. She couldn't sense duplicity in that. He met her gaze, square on. Troi regarded him with narrowed eyes. It was suddenly very difficult to read him, and though she knew he was purposefully blocking her empathic sense of him for the moment, she also saw the logic in his argument. "I suppose..." She conceded. "...although...most of the time it's your life *and* mine she wants to discuss." "Together?" Will prompted helpfully. Deanna tossed him a tolerant smile. "So what happened?" Off her look, Will shook his head. "With Dalyn, Counsellor, I know what happened with *us*" "Well then you're one up on me." Deanna mumbled. "What was that?" She sighed. "When Dalyn said he wanted to see me romantically I was flattered at first, and completely swept off my feet. " "Hmm. " Will grunted, and Troi couldn't help but feel a certain amount of smug satisfaction when she sensed his automatic jealousy. "Well, he was incredibly good looking, intelligent, exciting..." She continued, still smiling. "I get the picture, Counsellor...." "I thought we'd be married..." "How old were you again?" "17. " "So why didn't it work out?" Will brought one hand up and began to caress her hair softly. Deanna shut her eyes and leaned further into his embrace. To hell with the story, being close to Will this way felt sooo incredible.... she was even beginning to allow herself not to care about the obvious effect their bond was having on both of them. Deanna tipped her head as his fingertips drifted across her neck and back into her hair. He knew she loved that.... "He fell in love. " It was a simple statement, though Troi made it on a slow exhale while Will Riker brought his face down, millimetres from her ear and whispered softly... "I thought you were already in love..." His warm breath tickled her sensitive skin. She shivered. The movement brushed his lips against the soft, yielding flesh just behind her ear and she moaned softly when he traced the tendon in her neck with his mouth. "I was..." She gasped as he nipped at the shell of her exposed ear. "He...fell in love with a colleague. They were Imzadi so quickly...and then it didn't matter anymore what I felt, even if it had been more than the crush of a teenager. " "Why not?" Will asked the question, holding his breath in anticipation of her answer, hoping she'd take the bait. She didn't disappoint. "Because a love between Imzadi is forever. " Deanna answered automatically with the stock romantic phrase she had sighed over in her younger years. It was such a quick response that she hadn't realised the implication of what she'd said until immediately after the words tumbled forth from her mouth. At that point, it was already much too late. To Deanna's surprise, however, Will didn't press the issue. Didn't force a confrontation or even so much as utter a word. Instead, she heard him breathe out softly. It was she who finally broke the silence between them. "Will, there is something...I need to tell you. " Uncurling her legs, she twisted into a kneeling position which brought her face to face with him, where he sat. She folded her hands in her lap. For his part, Will met her expression and merely nodded, encouraging her to continue. But where did she begin? If she told him everything, she threatened so much more than his trust in her. And yet if she withheld even a portion, she would forever feel as though she had deceived him, and perhaps he would as well. If there was one certainty in her existence, however, it was the way she felt for Will Riker. As confusing, frustrating and downright exasperating as their relationship...or lack thereof...sometimes was, underlying all of that was the deep, abiding love which their friendship had forged. He deserved no less than to know the truth. To know everything. And for that, she would have to begin...with the most uncomfortable of admissions. Deanna shut her eyes and allowed herself one long, slow intake of air; steeling her mind for what was to come, she found her focus and began to speak. "You were right. I lied to the Captain. " Her voice was calm, but Will could sense her nervousness, and he wished irrationally that he could simply fold her into his arms and make it all go away. At first, she waited for him to respond, and when he didn't, she felt her tight control begin to slip. His eyes were serious, but his expression was one of compassion, and expectation. Troi cleared her throat. "I was scared. Will, I still am scared. I think I need to admit that to myself...and to you. And when you find out why, I don't expect you to be able to forgive me. I just-- " Deanna trailed off, swallowed sharply and turned her head from him, regaining her equilibrium. "Dee..." Will began, reaching out to her with both his hands, and his thoughts.... Instantly, she shrank away from him and then immediately regretted the response when she felt his hopelessness carve a gaping hole where her heart had been. "Oh, Will...please.... I need to say this. And I can't let you promise to forgive me before you understand...." Will sat forward suddenly and took both of her hands firmly in his. "Dee, I know that what happened on Rhesuvius was real...all of it. " He watched her expression fill with apprehension, and her eyes shift from his face, to the ground, and then back again. "And I *do* understand. My God, Deanna, I understand that it wasn't something you ever wanted, or planned, but I also understand that you did it to save my life. What I don't get is why you couldn't trust me afterwards.... Don't you know by now that I would do anything for you? Dee, I--" "I killed them...." Her voice was barely a whisper, barely a breath of air, and as she raised one hand to her lips, her eyes filled with tears. "Will...all of those life forms, in an instant of panic...what have I done?" "What you had to do. " Riker forced her to meet his gaze and then continued in what was, perhaps, the most 'Starfleet' voice she had ever heard from him. "They were going to hold us prisoner forever, they were waiting for us to die out there so that they could harvest our souls for their energy source...Deanna...there was no time. No other way. " "No..." She shook her head. "I *wanted* them to die, Will. I wanted them to die so that..." "So that we could live. " He finished for her. "Dee...you are the gentlest person I know. But even the most compassionate and caring of us will protect our most basic right to survive. " "...I compromised centuries of my people's teachings to achieve that objective. I have betrayed everything I have ever believed in. " Her eyes were large, and dark and serious, as though she were daring him to contradict her. "How? In what way? Deanna, you had no choice. And as cold as this might sound, the universe is still spinning...we're both back home, safe on the Enterprise...what's changed?" "I have. And you have, now that you know the truth. " She sighed, sadly. "Is that so horrible? So unimaginable? That I understand a little more about you...about Betazed, and about your people? Deanna, I'm not about to broadcast anything across the quadrant. Hell, I have no intention of even speaking to the Captain about this...." She hung her head. "But not for the reasons you think. I have no intention of ever speaking of this again...because I think you're *right*. Your people have guarded their secret for thousands of years, Dee, and it wouldn't be my place. I could even cite the Prime Directive...." "This isn't about the Prime Directive!" She cried out in frustration. "For one moment in your life, Will Riker forget about Starfleet's rules and regulations and our *careers* and imagine that I am single handedly responsible for the destruction of nearly a hundred life forms! Whatever their intentions towards us, hostile or not, there is no magic code...no moral dictionary which can wipe away what I've done, *Commander*. And it isn't your *right* to grant me absolution for this. Not yours, not the Captain's and certainly not Starfleet's. " Pushing him away, Deanna rose to her feet and then spun around. "Computer, delete all characters in this program!" Suddenly the holodeck version of the Betazed university campus was plunged into an almost eerie silence, and only the breeze remained to whisper in their ears. Angrily, Will stood up after her and met her eyes. "What are you looking for here Deanna? What do you expect of me...of...*this*...." He gestured around them. "Why even confide the truth if you're unwilling to acknowledge that nothing can change what's been done?" Her eyes flashed at him. "Because there *is* a way...a way to reverse at least a part of this. The bond can be broken. " Will froze. She wanted to break their link? "It *has* to be broken, Will. " She pleaded. "It shouldn't have ever been forged to begin with. " There were unshed tears in her eyes when she spoke, but Will could sense the absolute conviction and sincerity of her admission. This was indeed what she truly wanted...and *that* singlehandedly...broke his heart. He turned from her and stood rigidly, composing his thoughts. Willing himself not to feel as though his universe was crumbling around him. As though some great claw had reached out and tore his still-beating heart from his chest. "The bond from the cave...." He whispered finally, still facing away from her. "...when it's broken, will that destroy..." "The Imzadi link will no longer survive, in any form. " She answered softly. "And that's what you want?" He went on. "That's what has to be. " Her voice shook from someplace far behind him, but his own emotions were so intense, that any hope of sensing what she felt became impossible. "I didn't ask you that. " Will spun around and faced her, locking his eyes with hers. "I asked you if that's what you want. " For long moments, she simply held his gaze wordlessly, until one silent teardrop began to trace a pathway down her cheek. She dropped her head and nodded slowly. "Yes. " "I see. " "Will...." "I'll inform Dr. Crusher, I assume she'll be required to make certain preparations or arrangements to facilitate the procedure?" Will cut in, his voice professional and devoid of emotion. Deanna simply nodded once again, her eyes shimmering with the imminence of more silent teardrops forcing themselves apparent. Before he lost his own tenuous grasp on control, Riker turned away from her and swallowed hard. "Computer, display arch. " A doorway shimmered into existence where there had been none before, and Will Riker stepped quickly through it, leaving his Imzadi...and his heart...behind.
"Oh, Will, are you sure?" "That's what she said, Beverly. She wants the bond broken, and since you know how that's done, I'm here to arrange it. " Will pulled down self consciously on his uniform. The CMO of the Enterprise sighed. "I'm not doing anything until I've spoken to Deanna...she *can't* mean this, she-" Will suddenly turned, his expression fierce. "I beg your pardon. Do you think I would march in here and demand that the *one* thing in my life which holds the most meaning for me be destroyed on a *whim*, Doctor?" "No- Will of course not..." Crusher took two steps towards him and placed her hand on his arm. It was so clear to see how much he was hurting, etched in his very expression was the face of a man whose heart had been utterly shattered. Will Riker never did take to expressing his emotions very openly, and yet in this moment, he must have felt the weight of a thousand galaxies if his feelings were this readily apparent for anyone to see. "I'm sorry. " He mumbled. "I guess I'm a little...jumpy. " Beverly made a gentle clicking sound and squeezed his arm gently. "It's ok for a Star Ship Commander to have feelings you know. Perfectly healthy...." "Somehow I don't feel very healthy right about now. " He answered, and his darkening eyes were a window to his soul. Beverly shook her head. "I guess I just don't understand, Will. Deanna told me what it meant for two people to be 'Imzadi' - I've never heard of anything more romantic in my entire life. Nor more permanent. I just can't imagine that breaking the bond is what she truly wants to do...." Beverly glanced up at him, her expression one of concern and empathy. "Maybe she's being forced or...or...God, I don't even know, but she would never willingly...." "How can you be so sure?" Will cut in, shaking his head. "What makes you think she hasn't just decided leave the past in the past? Hell, it's probably about damn time. " "Because," Beverly snipped, suddenly annoyed beyond words at his obvious blindness. "...any idiot can see that she's completely in LOVE with you!" She blurted. "That's funny. " Will quipped sarcastically, but the doctor hurried on.... "Oooooo...The two of you are the most exasperating, impossibly *frustrating* couple I've ever seen in my life!" She turned from him and grabbed a medical tray, sorting out various instruments on autopilot. "Doctor, we haven't been a "couple" for seventeen years. " She stared at him wide eyed for several long moments and then sighed loudly. "You know, it's a damn good thing Starfleet hasn't given you your own command yet. " "What is that supposed to mean?" "I'm not in the mood to elaborate. If you and Deanna still want that bond broken, be here at 0900 hours tomorrow morning. We'll start then, and I'll have Mrs Troi transported over for the afternoon to complete the process. " "Mrs. Troi? Lwaxana Troi?" Riker couldn't keep the edge out of his voice, and Crusher couldn't keep from smirking in response. "Oh, yes. You're lucky we're so near Betazed. Otherwise you would have had to wait weeks...she is one of the only telepaths on the planet strong enough to sever the connection. " Will frowned. "Are you sure that there's no one else who..." "Positive. Bet you didn't know that it was that strong, did you? It's amazing actually, I did a little reading up on the term 'Imzadi' after Deanna and I first spoke of it. It seems that once two people are brought together that way, very few forces in the universe can tear them apart. Unless they willingly let go. And even then they need a little extra help, most of the time. " She shrugged. For a long time Will said nothing, and Beverly began to wonder if perhaps she'd pushed him too far. His expression was distant, contemplative, and when he finally turned towards her and spoke again, Beverly would have sworn he sounded like a lost little boy. "Doctor...in your reading...did it say...how many times in the past people have had their bond - reversed - on Betazed? How often it occurs?" His gaze was so sincere that it nearly broke her heart. She hung her head. "Doctor?" He prompted expectantly. "Almost never. " She sighed, and then caught his downcast expression. "I see. " "But I'm no expert, I've only ever read-" "I'd better be going Doctor, I've got crew progress reports to finish up tonight. " Will cut her off and ducked out of sickbay too quickly for her to continue her sentence. "-a few articles..." She finished, and then let out a long, slow breath of air. "Oh, Will...."
Deanna sat at her desk, starring at the blinking comm signal indicating an unanswered transmission. When she knew that she could put it off no longer, she called for activation. "Mother." Her voice was flat, her expression unreadable. "Deanna! What in the Universe do you think you're doing, Little One?" Her mother always knew just how to start a conversation. No polite niceties, no chit-chat or otherwise ambiguous remarks, she yanked out her sledgehammer from the very first instant. Deanna sighed. "What it is my right to do, Mother." The same, collected, calm voice. Lwaxana scowled. "Your WHAT? Your 'right'? Honestly, Little One.. " "Mother! I have asked you for *years* not to call me 'Little One' and I'm sick of it! Why can't you for once in your life *respect* my right to make a decision on my own? Why must you always interfere, always feel compelled to tell me how I'm making some kind of...of...catastrophic error? Well I don't care! This time, Mother, I don't care about the Holy Rings, or the Sacred Chalice, or our HOUSE... if you won't help me with this, Mother, I will find someone else who will." Troi sat before her computer screen, nearly shaking with anger, while her mother sat too, a few thousand light years away, staring at her daughter in stunned silence. "Deanna Troi." Lwaxana began in a voice nearly as calm Deanna had started with, using her full name in a way she hadn't done since the Counsellor was a little girl. The combination of tactics threw the younger woman for such a loop, that for the first time in her life, she found herself unable to imagine what her mother was going to say next. She didn't have to wait long, however. "...I received a Starfleet communiqué this evening from the chief medical officer on board your ship." The older Troi raised her hand when Deanna's mouth opened as if to speak. She effectively silenced her instead. "...No, you will let me finish what I have to say, Deanna. And then you will tell me again, what is your *right*." Troi's mouth clenched shut in anger, but she did not argue. Years of compliance with her powerful Mother's authority carried more weight with her then she would ever have admitted, until now. "...As I was saying. Dr. Crusher informed me that you and Will had requested the severance of your Imzadi link. She asked for my assistance in the procedure. She also told me that you were refusing to elaborate with her about the issue, and that Will was... shall we say... far less than ambivalent." Lwaxana held her daughter's gaze for a beat before continuing. "...Now then. You may sit there, with all of your psychological reasons why this is the 'right thing to do' my dear. And you may even believe them to be true. But there is one piece of truth you are either ignoring, or have wilfully decided is unimportant. And for your sake Litt- Deanna, I would *suggest* to you that you consider my words in this." Of all the things Troi had imagined her mother might have had to say about the decision she had made, this...was not one of them. For the most part, Lwaxana Troi was a woman who never did anything in half measures. As formidable a political Ambassador for her people as she was mother, the older Troi almost always handled herself a lot more brusquely than she was in this conversation. That fact in and of itself shook the Counsellor of the Enterprise perhaps more than any screaming match or argument ever could have. That Lwaxana Troi had composed both her voice and her thoughts so calmly, meant that she was deadly serious, and that what she had to say, by nature of that very fact, must have been more important to her than the state of the entire diplomatic core. Deanna swallowed and waited. Suddenly feeling more like a little girl than she ever had *as* a little girl. "You are deciding the fate of *two* souls now, Deanna. Not just your own. When you and Will forged a link, for better or for worse, your souls recognised that you and he had always been two separate halves of a whole. We cannot choose whom we love, my darling. Nor can we choose who embodies the other half of our spirit." Deanna was crying now. Silent tears, without words. "Oh, my Little One." Her mother reached out and touched the vid-screen as though it were really Deanna. "There is only one Imzadi for each of us.. If we are lucky, fate, and the Gods move us to find that one. Dearest... whatever you want to call me, superstitious, old fashioned, conservative.." She trailed off and smiled empathetically when Deanna looked down somewhat shamefacedly. "I know I'm a proud woman, my dear. But I also consider myself an intelligent woman, an intelligent woman with a beautiful, intelligent daughter." Lwaxana's eyes caught and held her daughter's gaze once more. "..Have you ever given any thought to the fact that the entire Universe parted, thousands of light years and several hundred galaxies simply moved aside and got out of the way so that you might find your soulmate? Deanna... what are the odds? I mean, honestly- " Deanna suddenly sighed and shook her head. "Will and I have served on board this same ship for seven years, Mother. Seven years, and we are friends.. the best of friends. But I can't do this anymore. I can't wake up each morning and feel his presence so strongly that I feel as though he should be *beside* me, only to realise he's probably not even on the same deck! I serve with him each day, we work together, and each passing instant the bond grows stronger - while we grow farther apart!" Deanna knew her tears were falling in earnest now, but she found she hadn't the ability to care. "Mother, ever since the accident in the caves.. my actions are responsible for our link being ten times what it was. I can't fight it anymore.. ! I don't *want* to fight it anymore and I know that if we let things remain the way they are, I won't be able to-" "So *don't*. My darling, he *loves* you. It's obvious.." "To you, perhaps, Mother, you've been trying to get me married for years. But I know Will. I know him better than anyone else in the Universe. He is already married...to his career. I can't ask him to sacrifice even a part of that, it would force him to have to choose, and if he did, no matter what the outcome, he would always resent that ultimatum." She met her mother's gaze square on. "Neither will I settle for less than someone who truly wants to be with *me*." Deanna raised her head, the familiar, proud expression she had come to perfect over the years now readily apparent. Lwaxana frowned. "Alright. Why do you think it is that you wake up each morning and feel as though he's in the same room?" Deanna looked away. "You won't answer me because you already *know* the answer, don't you? I haven't let you go through life without at least a little knowledge of your own background." The older Troi huffed indignantly. "...You feel so close to him because *he* is also reaching out to you. In those instants, Deanna, if you'd truly wanted to, you could have found such fulfilment.." She sighed and Deanna blushed, slightly. "...Allowed yourselves to share every aspect of yourselves the way *true* Imzadi do. My goodness, child, that's what the bond *is*! It's no wonder you're both as frustrated as starving animals if you've only ever allowed yourselves a half-realised connection for so many years. You'd probably find that your days become far less agonising if you both weren't so damn stubborn." Deanna turned a deeper shade of crimson, and Lwaxana shook her head. "And don't feed me any more nonsense about 'the strength of your bond since the accident' either. You know as well as I do that the physical life-connection has already run it's course, there's no more danger of either one of you dying and taking the other with you. The only thing that's left is your *own* link. It may have been yanked to the surface for a while, ripped out of whatever dark, enclosed corner you've tried to banish it to, but make no mistake my dear, you and Will are feeling nothing more than the strength of your own bond. Remarkable actually, considering that he's human and you're only half-" "Wait a second, Mother, that's impossible. The bond was never this intense, not even in the very beginning, how could-" Lwaxana laughed. "Oh, my child. You said it yourself, you've been serving together for over seven *years*... what did you expect would happen? Keeping the link buried must have been an incredible mental feat ... for both of you, but it also masked the truth of what you should have been able to sense a long time ago." Deanna didn't respond. Couldn't respond. What her mother described made perfect sense. And she had been a fool. Yet none of that changed the fact that Will Riker was a career officer, first and foremost. Things were just as complicated as they ever were, and now perhaps, even more so. After a long moment of silence, Lwaxana spoke. "I've agreed to help your Doctor tomorrow." Deanna raised her head. "I thought you said that-" The older woman nodded. "I did. And I mean what I said, Little One." Troi bristled and Lwaxana frowned apologetically. "Deanna... everything I've said to you tonight doesn't change the fact that you were right about one thing." She paused. "The choice isn't mine to make. It's yours, and it's William's. And since Will has agreed as well.. I won't deny you your right. Only promise me one thing?" Deanna nodded, the sting of teardrops held at bay, for the moment. "Speak with William. One more time. There are a million opportunities to regret a thing once you have done it. But there is only one opportunity to prevent that regret." The younger Troi didn't respond at first, and then, as though lost in thought, she turned and caught her mother's gaze. "I promise." She whispered. Lwaxana's face disappeared from the vid-screen. Deanna leaned back in her chair for several minutes and placed her hands over her face, breathing in and out slowly. With a long sigh, she finally sat forward and tapped her comm badge. ={Troi to Riker}= There was a long pause...and then finally.. ={Riker here}= She shut her eyes. ={Will, would you mind coming over? For a few minutes.. I...I need to speak with you...please...}= She trailed off, knowing how trite the words must have sounded. In the ensuing silence, she felt his indecision, his hurt, a touch of anger, and finally an emotion which made her heart skip a beat. ={I'll be there in 5 minutes.}= Troi felt a wash of relief flood over her an instant before she realised he must have felt it too, and then she sent him something else...tentatively, though quite on purpose. ={Riker out}= He responded. She hung her head. Standing and crossing from her desk towards the centre of her living space, Deanna pressed the palm of one hand to her heart absently, and then sank slowly into a seated position on the couch. She waited.
Troi's cabin was dim. It had been nearly 10 minutes since her communication with Commander Riker, and she sat in silence, beginning to believe that he had changed his mind and would not be coming. She couldn't really blame him, either. In fact, the more she allowed herself to give it thought, she more began to realise that she didn't have the slightest idea what she was going to say to him if he *did* arrive. Slowly, she shut her eyes and allowed the steady pulse of the ship's engines, somewhere far beneath her, to calm her ragged nerves. And then she felt his presence. A gentle nudge against her consciousness at first, involuntarily on his part. She felt his trepidation, and another quick moment of indecision before her door chime sounded. "Come in." She called, smoothing her hands over the front of her legs as she rose to her feet. He stood, framed in her doorway for several moments, unmoving. The illumination of the hallway played in stark contrast to the relative dim light of her quarters, and made the entire scene seem almost surreal to her visual senses. But he stepped inside a moment later, and the door slid quietly shut behind him. "I wasn't sure you were going to be coming." She spoke softly. "Neither was I." He admitted, clearing his throat. "Would you like to sit down?" She gestured inside and Will shrugged, walking stiffly past her. He sank down onto the couch and folded his hands in his lap, glancing up at her expectantly, but without the usual light in his eyes he'd always had for her in the past. "I had a conversation with my mother tonight. And I know that you've already spoken with Dr. Crusher." She swallowed and then took a seat next to him on the couch. Riker nodded. "Everything's going as planned, I guess." "Will-" "Deanna, is there a *reason* you've asked me over tonight? Because to be frank, I'm feeling damned uncomfortable right now. And I thought we'd already said everything we needed to." His expression remained impassive, but Troi could sense the pain he felt inside as keenly as her own. "Yes." She whispered, and hung her head so tragically that Will found himself completely unable to retain any anger towards her. His heart filled with empathy for the pain and conflict she was obviously suffering - he reached out and placed his hand on hers, causing her to look up at him. "I was made to realise tonight that once again I am - robbing you of your right to choose. On Betazed, all of those years ago, I linked with you knowing that you hadn't the slightest idea what would become of our relationship. I was selfish, and young, and... I didn't want to lose you." Will opened his mouth as if to respond but she shook her head. "...I know, Will... I know that I could never have established the bond if it wasn't meant to be. If we weren't truly Imzadi. But that doesn't change the fact that I called all of the shots. And in the cavern that night, I was so desperately terrified that I would lose you again, this time forever...that I- forced us even closer. The thing is.." She glanced up at him, watching his intense, thoughtful expression. "I know how important your career is to you. And we've discussed our relationship more than once since we've served together onboard the Enterprise. I thought that this would be what is best for both of us.. there would be no more distraction for you, for either of us, and we could go on as we did in the past before-" "Before what?" Riker suddenly cut in, gripping her hand in his and twisting his body to face her. "Deanna..." He held her gaze and took a deep breath. "Dee...I've been in love with you for seventeen *years* ... I - I can't even remember what it's like not to feel your presence with me. I don't *want* to know what it's like." Troi's eyes filled. "That's just it! Will, how many more years can we keep going this way? We're both hanging on to something that each of us has *already* realised is an impossibility. And yet we cling to this....this.... unreality which we've managed to convince ourselves will sort *itself* out, in time. Well it won't, Commander. You know it, and I know it. What I *don't* know is why we keep torturing ourselves - " Her tears fell in earnest now, and he suddenly pulled her forward into his arms, holding onto her fiercely. Shutting his eyes, Will Riker pressed her body against himself. He felt her teardrops, warm and wet through the front of his uniform tunic and he rocked back and forth with her as her body shook gently. Burying his face in her hair, Will knew that his own battle with restraint was quickly being lost; he fought back the burning behind his eyes. "No." He whispered softly, and then pulled away from her, placing both his hands against her face, he gently brushed at her teardrops with his thumbs. "No, this is wrong." He repeated slowly. He felt her stiffen at his words and realised how they must have sounded. Standing quickly, and pulling her to her feet along with him, Will shook his head. "I have been...a coward and a fool for half my life." Riker smiled sadly, and it was all Deanna could do to keep the confusion from her face. "Starfleet can go to hell." "What?" "Starfleet... the 'Captain's chair' ... my *career*... I don't care!" He spoke the last three words with a kind of excitement, as though he'd only just made the realisation. Deanna shook her head, comprehension beginning to form in her mind as his emotions flooded over her. But she was still too afraid to allow herself to hope... "Will, how can you say that? You've spent the better part of your lifetime forging a career and a reputation that is second to none...you're practically a legend already...and.." "..And none of it means *anything* unless you're there to share it with me." His eyes captured and held her own. "You don't mean that.." She whispered. "The hell I don't!" He shot back, taking two long steps towards her, and pulling her gently towards him, he continued. "Don't you see? Deanna, when I look back on my lifetime, there isn't a moment of the past seventeen years that I haven't spent thinking of you.. in some way. Wishing you were with me to share some.. stupid triviality which made me smile, or late at night when I felt as though there was nothing in the Universe worth fighting for. You were with me.. always... and I came to take that for granted. Dee, this isn't some spur of the moment decision I've made just now. For *years*, I've been searching for some way to recapture what's been missing in my soul. An emptiness that I've known all along can only be filled by you... only I was too afraid of what you would say if I told you how I felt." He let out a short breath, and Troi regarded him soundlessly; her eyes shimmering with teardrops. "The self assured Star Fleet Commander!" Will proclaimed. "Give the man his own ship! Even though he's too much of a coward to risk the possibility that the woman who means more to him than anything else in the universe might tell him that she didn't feel the same way..." He paused for a beat. "So..I didn't rock the boat." Will whispered, running his hands through his hair absently. "I left well enough alone, and now, when I realise how many years I - *we* have wasted, pretending that what we were feeling was simple. That it was nothing more than friendship, when all along it's been.." Riker trailed off suddenly. "Deanna... " He sank to his knees in front of her and held her hands in his. "Imzadi...you are everything that's good and special in my soul. I need you, Dee... please don't give up on us." There. He had said it, walked bold faced into her cabin and poured out seventeen years of his feelings in one long, run-on-sentence. And she wasn't responding to him. For a moment, his heart leaped into his throat at the realisation. Her hands were trembling where he held them, and she pulled them free, only to press them against her own lips. Then, she too dropped to her knees, face to face with him, while reaching out simultaneously to touch his face. At the first brush of her fingertips against his skin, William T. Riker, second in command of the Flag Ship of the United Federation of Planets came to realise that there wasn't a moment before, nor quite possibly would there ever be in future, which would become more precious to him than the touch of her in that very instant. He shut his eyes. "I've never been very good with watching supplication." She smiled through her tears, lightly caressing the line of his jaw. Will felt as though his whole being were filled with her presence. Helplessly, he leaned forward, cupping the side of her face in his larger hand, he bent his head and brushed his lips across hers. Gently, at first, barely a whisper separated their mouths, though she shut her eyes and he felt her breath against him, warm and sweet. And then his lips closed over hers, demanding and insistent, she felt her body melt towards him, without conscious command. His arm circled around her and held her from behind, offering support though both of them were utterly swept away by the moment. Without thinking, purely on instinct, she opened her mind to him and felt the exact moment when his welcome presence surrounded her wholly, as she surrounded him. The feeling was so intense and intimate ... she nearly cried out for the sheer joy of it. [[Gods, I've missed you so much..]] His thoughts caressed her. [[Me too.]] She answered, in kind, wrapping her arms around his neck as though to emphasise the point. [[I love you..Dee, I've always loved you.]] He kissed her again, repeatedly, finding her just as responsive as he was eager, feeling the warmth and softness of her beneath his hands like a visceral narcotic. He couldn't get enough of her. Until, untold minutes later, they separated - both still pressed against one another, struggling to catch their breath. With his forehead pressed against hers, Riker suddenly smiled and kissed the tip of her nose, playfully. "So can we keep the bond, Dee?" She giggled, still out of breath. "You make it sound like it's a pet or something..." Will grinned. "Well..." He reached down and took her hand, pulling them both to their feet, before backing Deanna up against one of the floor to ceiling windows of her cabin. "I *was* kind of hoping we could play with it a little bit..from time to time." He felt, rather than heard her laughter, and then, leaning forward, he brushed his lips against her ear, gently. Troi took in a short breath when, in combination with his exploration of her neck, she felt the remembrance of his mouth on other portions of her body as well. "Will!" She gasped, a sound which quickly transformed into a moan when the effect of his ministrations became too pleasurable to bear. "Who taught you how to..." She whispered softly, while her fingers tangled themselves in his hair from behind. "You'd never believe me.." He responded, and then kissed her again, full on the lips. "Try me." She suddenly became serious. "Well, it was another woman truthfully. I won't deny it. A full telepath, actually." He grinned as he watched her expression transform simultaneously with her emotions... from surprise, to incredulity, to.. potent jealousy. Deanna's jaw dropped open, and Will couldn't help himself from stealing another kiss which robbed her of breath completely. "Will Riker I certainly hope you're going to elaborate?" She finally managed, after several gulps of air. Riker raised his hands defensively. "It was completely theoretical, I assure you. After all, I could never do this with anyone but you..." He reminded her gently, and was rewarded with a slight softening of her expression. "..even if I wanted to." He added, knowing the effect it would have on her, and grinning expansively when it did just that. "Dee.. there's absolutely nothing to worry about. It was a text book lesson, I swear." "With whom?" She challenged, unrelenting. Riker sighed and ran one hand through his hair. "Your mother." "My WHAT?!"
Deanna Troi was sitting on the couch in the centre of her living space, frowning at a decidedly smug Will Riker. "I still can't believe you went to my mother about all of this.." She muttered, absently plucking a clip from her hair and shaking it loose. Will watched her with a mixture of admiration and adoration. He loved it when she let her hair down... in more ways than one. "Well you didn't give me much choice, Dee. I had to speak with someone.. I thought I was going crazy." He shrugged and sank down onto the sofa next to her. "I was also afraid I was going to lose you.." Deanna turned to regard him for a moment, her eyes large and luminous. "I'm sorry." She whispered. "I shouldn't have shut you out that way. It was selfish and petulant of me." "I love you." He answered, suddenly smiling. She shook her head, smiling back at him. "You've said that to me more times in the past hour than in the past sixteen years." Will shrugged. "I know I just - I've wanted to tell you, so many times and I never did. And now I feel like I can't stop." "Well I suppose there are worse things.." She ducked her head and barely concealed her own smile. "I can't believe you just said that." Will beamed and then reached out, having remembered exactly where she was most ticklish. Troi yelped in surprise and pulled back, scurrying to the other end of the couch, where she eyed him warily. "*I* can't believe you remembered *that*" Her voice was haughty but her eyes were shining. He grinned back at her. "Something else your mother told me.." Will rose to his feet and moved to gaze at the stars through one of the large portals. "I'm almost afraid to ask.." Deanna began, shaking her hair out behind her and hopping to her own feet. "What do you keep on the top right hand shelf of your wardrobe?" He turned to face her just then and watched her eyes grow wide. "My *mother* told you what I-" "No.. no she didn't. She told me to ask, though. So I'm asking." His eyes grew thoughtful and Deanna sighed. "I can't believe she even knew about that. Much less told you.. who's mother is she, anyway?" Deanna shook her head, obviously annoyed. "It's nothing, honestly. Nothing important." "When I told her that I thought you'd moved on.. that you didn't care for me in the same way anymore. She laughed in my face, Deanna. She told me to find out what you kept on the top right hand shelf of your wardrobe, and then tell her the same." "Well I'll have to speak with her about that." Troi murmured, turning away from him. "So you'll show me?" "No." She sighed. "Will, trust me.. it's....a piece of the past. I shouldn't even have kept it." "But you did. So it must mean something to you. Dee...please...I promise not to judge you." Will came up slowly behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, parting her hair to one side, he dipped his head down and kissed her, just below the ear the way he knew she loved. Deanna shivered. She always shivered when she felt his warm breath against her skin, his lips pressed against her. "I hate you." She whispered, even as she reached up and found his head behind her, gently pulling herself around to face him and into a sensual kiss. "Then I can hardly wait to find out what happens when you finally fall in love with me." He whispered, smiling against her lips. "You wouldn't live through it." Her response, mixed with the nearness of her was driving him mad. She finally sighed and disengaged from his embrace. "This is so... odd." "What is?" He regarded her curiously. "This." She gestured. "Us. Will.. we've walked on eggshells around each other forever. Now suddenly, we're thinking and feeling things we haven't allowed ourselves in seventeen years." He nodded slowly. "True. Do you feel like we're moving too fast?" "No." She smiled coyly and took a step towards him. "I'm just going to have to keep beating down my rational side which keeps waking up and telling me this can't be happening." "To good to be true?" He ventured, closing the distance between them and pulling her gently into his arms. "Mm. Much." Her whispered reply was lost to the joining of their lips. "So while you're at it, can you beat your 'rational side' into showing me what you've got stored on the top right shelf of your wardrobe, too?" She sighed dramatically. "You're not going to give this up, are you?" "Not a chance." He grinned and she shook her head tolerantly. "Alright. But I've warned you, it's nothing, really." Riker's eyes lit up like a kid's and she laughed helplessly. "Come on then." Deanna took his hand and led him towards her bedroom door..
Will stood a discreet distance backwards as the tiny metal door to Deanna's closet slid open. She turned to him an instant later and shrugged. "Be my guest.." He followed her forward. The storage closet was one of two in her bed chamber, and a decidedly small one at that, not the walk-in kind which all officers had in addition to store their numerous articles of on or off-duty attire. Immediately as he stepped towards her, Will could see a small package on the top shelf of the tiny wardrobe. Wrapped in delicate white cloth, it sat conspicuously by itself, and had obviously been untouched for some time. He frowned, at first. Unsure whether this had been such a good idea to begin with. He felt as though he was invading Deanna's privacy. But she smiled at him just then, and so he reached forward to gently lift the package from the shelf, as though it were made of glass. Moving backwards, Will sat at the edge of her bed and set the parcel down beside him. "This lace.. it's very familiar... is it...?" Deanna coloured slightly and then nodded. "Matrimonial. One of the scarves from my gown, to be precise." She smiled sadly. "The rest of it is still being kept in my old bedroom back on Betazed. Mother refused to allow me to part with it. So we compromised." He met her gaze and she could see the regret in his eyes as plainly as she felt his shame. Without thinking, she went to him and sat down. "You know, that was a long time ago." Her soft voice jostled him out of his memories and he turned to look at her. "I know." He responded, resigned. "Don't you want to know what's in the box?" She asked. And he shook his head, marvelling at her ability to find the positive in every situation. Slowly Will began to remove the lace from around the smooth, decorated antique inside. And then he lifted it's lid... The first thing he saw was the poem he had written her, all those years ago when they were so much younger and time stretched ahead of their lives like a limitless eternity. It was tucked inside of a small, gauzy headband of the same delicate construction as the scarf. But it was what was beneath even these two items which caused him to pause and gingerly lift still another, tinier parcel from within. "Deanna...how?" His eyes flew to her face. "Your father." She whispered. Riker couldn't have felt any harder hit if a titanium bulkhead had slammed into his midriff. "He arrived the day before the wedding." She continued. "And later, when it became clear that you weren't going to be there... he left this with me. I don't think he quite knew what to do, or to say, honestly. He wanted to give it to you, Will. But then he made me promise I wouldn't tell you he'd been there.. I was so lost... I gave him my word without really thinking." She shook her head. "My father was there?" Will repeated, still disbelieving. "Yes he was." "The man I haven't been able to have a civil conversation with in my entire life, came to my wedding - and I wasn't even there." He stared down at the tiny package in his hands. Troi sighed. "It appears that I've managed to commit far more than my fair share of selfish, meaningless mistakes, haven't I?" He turned away from her, but it was too late. She'd already felt his self-deprecating anger, and seen that he was struggling against emotions far greater still. Reaching out, she placed her hand against his arm. "I didn't know if I'd ever be able to forgive you for breaking my heart." She swallowed, her own eyes shining in the dim light of the cabin. "And perhaps I still haven't." She continued. This time causing him to face her once more. He couldn't blame her, of course. There was no 'appropriate' or justifiable reason for his having stood her up on a day which was to have been one of the happiest in both of their lives. Nothing but the guilt of a past lifetime, and a young, brash Starfleet officer who'd never been more terrified in his entire life. "But *you*... Will Riker..." He felt her hand when it reached inside of his; her fingers when they threaded with his own. "You are not the same man I almost married all those years ago." He half laughed. "I'm not sure how to take that. The mistakes I've made were just as much mine back then as they are right now. I'll have to live with them for the rest of my lifetime, but I don't have to allow them to govern my future." She smiled. "You see? The Will Riker I once knew had only one dream.. one future... and it didn't include 'mistakes'. Whether he chose to admit it to himself or not. Mistakes were only a setback which I believe he felt was an intolerable compromise." Riker raised their joined hands, placed the tiny box down next to him and lay a second hand over top of hers. "And maybe he was also terrified when he realised that being in love with another person meant accepting...and sharing his own imperfections as well. Impossible." Troi's expression suddenly grew unreadable. "You know, when I saw you again on the Enterprise that first time, after so many years..." She began. "...I realised that you and I had spent the better part of ten years previous, growing up." He frowned, but she hurried on. "..And not simply in terms of our careers, or our professional objectives, though we had become infinitely closer to those objectives.. both of us." She grew thoughtful. "I think I can safely say that once we agreed to become friends, we came to know one another with an intimacy that I don't think we had before.. even as lovers." Deanna inclined her head just then and he smiled, reaching out to tuck a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. "I also knew.... the longer we spent time together, that even if we hadn't already been Imzadi... I was about to spend the better part of those next seven years falling in love with you all over again, Will Riker." Her eyes shimmered while she spoke. "You're my best friend, Deanna." He whispered, cupping her face gently in the palm of his hand and regarding her with a mixture of awe and reverence. She let out a short breath. "Whatever happens... you will always be my best friend." "Can we do this?" Her softly spoken question saw the beginnings of true teardrops form. "Do we dare?" She swallowed and Will shut his eyes momentarily. "I don't know." He admitted. "I only know that I can't imagine a life without you in it. And not just as a confidant or a casual friend, Deanna... I can't imagine not being able to share *everything* with you. Maybe I'm becoming a sentimental fool in my old age, but I don't want to give up on us." She held his gaze. "What about our careers, serving on the same ship?" It was a valid question. "I don't see any reason why we can't have both." He replied. "Serving on board the Enterprise all these years has taught me that there are a million ways to stay together... even have a family..." He trailed off and watched her duck her head, slightly. "Even have a family." He repeated, exhaling slowly. "But Deanna, there's no contest. You may be right about me, and maybe I'm not the same Will Riker you knew all those years ago because right at this moment, I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life. The only constant I would do anything to keep in my life forever... is you." Deanna released the breath she'd been holding, with an audible moan. Heedless of the tears in her eyes, she reached out to him with body and mind. [[Am I going to wake up and discover that all of this was a dream..?]] Her question merged with his thoughts, and Riker wasted no time in answering her. Leaning forward, he kissed her deeply; kissed her with all of the passion he felt for her in his soul. His hands found their way into the masses of raven dark hair which spilled down over her shoulders and he buried his fingers in their depths, just below the line of her jaw. He felt her body melt against him and each of them exalted in the power their sharing. *This* was where he belonged. Where she belonged.. Where *they* fit together. Some place between incomprehensible oneness and an almost magical sense of peace... true belonging. [[Imzadi]] He heard the word, felt it, knew it... and was never sure whether it was he who sent to her, or she to him. He understood though, even so. Perhaps for the first time, Riker truly understood what it meant to be whole. And as he welcomed her into his soul completely, as she welcomed him into hers.. there were no words beyond the quiet, profound epiphany that in that instant they had realised the completion of their bond. Come together.. and sealed their fate.
EPILOGUE They made love that night. Four, five times. Will had lost count. All he remembered was the nearness of her and the way their joining had sent each of them to the boundaries ecstasy and back again. When their bodies came together for the first time in over seventeen years, it had been almost as if they were making physical, that which they had already pledged of themselves. Will lay on his side and she on hers, facing one other. He watched her sleep. For long moments, Riker lay perfectly still, not even daring to breathe. He took in every detail; every nuance of her features until he could resist no longer and he had to touch her one more time. Reaching out, he gently traced the edge of her face, brushing back a length of long, dark hair which spilled down onto her neck. She stirred, but did not wake. Shifting instead, even closer to his body, Deanna pressed herself up against him in a way that left him breathless and near desperate with need for her. Momentarily, she opened her eyes, a slow smile spreading across her lips when she caught his darkening gaze. "That's a feeling I haven't woken up to in a long time.." Troi purred, pulling her body suggestively along his, she kissed him playfully on his lower lip. "It's a good thing you did wake up." He growled when he felt her lips at the base of his neck. "Or I would have had to ravish you in your sleep." She laughed, a deep and musical sound to his ears. "What time is it?" Her question caught him off guard, but he gathered his senses quickly. "0700, last I checked. We don't have to meet Beverly for another two hours." He winked at her but she demurred. "We probably should have told her last night. You think she'll be angry?" Troi looked genuinely concerned. He paused. "I hope not... or the Captain will be miserable for days.." She grinned at him. "You're wicked, Commander. You know that?" "I've been told, on occasion, by an extraordinarily beautiful empath.." "You're forgiven." She giggled, curling up even closer to him. Riker moaned audibly. "Dee, are you doing that on purpose?" He managed through clenched teeth. "What?" She asked innocently. "This?" Troi suddenly curled her fingers around him, under the covers and he gasped. She barely had time to laugh, however, before he suddenly turned and covered her body with his, kissing her deeply. Deanna moaned softly into the kiss, her body responding automatically to the touch of her lover, without hesitation, as though it were far better aware of what it wanted than she was. Will moved lower then, tracing a line of incredible exploration down along the tendon in her neck, and then over her collarbone. When his lips closed over the taut peak of a nipple, accompanied by a mental brush of his fingertips over the entire length of her body, she cried out in pleasure. [[Imzadi... *please*]] She urged him onward, wherever he was headed.. as long as he took her with him. [[I love you, Dee]] She heard him in her mind, in the instant before he entered her body and she felt herself swept away by the torrent of emotion which carried both of them closer and closer..to completion. "I love you too." She whispered back, this time with words, her breath mixed with his and then she was kissing him desperately, urgently; her body rising to meet him with every thrust. [[Oh Gods.. Will... yes..]] He felt her writhe beneath him, her movement less and less governed by conscious thought. A moment later, each of them was filled with a rushing sense of unimaginable truth... she reached out to him with her mind and found him already everywhere.. surrounding her...filling her. Will cried out incoherently, gathering her forward into his arms, he devoured her lips in the instant before his whole world exploded into a blinding flash of light, colour and... Her. They collapsed. Together. Breathing heavily, their sweat-soaked bodies still joined intimately so that even the smallest of movements caused Deanna to shudder beneath him. He disengaged from her slowly, still holding her close in his arms. Riker kissed her gently, next to her ear. She was warm, and salty, and he couldn't get enough of her. The way her hair clung stickily to her forehead, the way her dark eyes shut, lazy and languid; her body tucked within the safety of his embrace. "Gods.." She whispered finally, long moments later. Will gently ran his fingers over the length of her arm and she drew her hand across his chest, shivering slightly as her body began to cool. Then, drawing herself deeper against his warm body, she fit her head into the crook of his arm and sighed as he kissed the top of her hair. "We should get ready. If we're late, Beverly will probably come looking for us.." He murmured. "I know.." Deanna answered, but just as she was about to rise from her position next to him, Will pulled her back and kissed her soundly. "That's for later." He grinned and she tossed him a bemused expression. "What happens later?" "You'll see." Riker shrugged and then shooed her out of bed. Only once he heard the hum of the sonic shower, did Will finally rise. Reaching gingerly down into the night stand next to the bed, he extracted a tiny ornate box and studied it intently. It was a beautiful piece of antique workmanship, with the initial "R" carved into the lid; he'd have recognised it anywhere. Riker stared at it for a moment longer and then lifted it open, carefully pulling a beautiful, delicate latinum circlet from inside. A long time ago, his mother had worn this very same ring. An eternity ago... On Betazed, there was no such thing as a wedding band. But on Earth? Will closed his fingers over precious cargo and released a long, slow breath. He felt Deanna's mind innocently reaching out to him. Gently filling him with an inexplicably tender sense of belonging. "You'll see." He repeated with a smile as rich as his feeling for her. And the Universe felt like home again. -FIN-
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