QDestinyy@aol.com
Timeframe: Post "Insurrection"; barely.
"I love him, Beverly." Counselor Troi dipped a well worn spoon into a steaming mug of cocoa.
"Wow," Doctor Crusher folded her hands in front of her. "That has to be the most pensive declaration of joy I've ever heard."
"Maybe that's because I never truly believed I'd hear myself say those words aloud again."
"Are you serious?
Troi's dark eyes lifted.
"You are serious." Crusher sighed. "All right. I'll admit, there was a point when even I'd begun to wonder whether the two of you might have to find each other again in your next lives," a smile touched the corner of her lips. "But it's hard to believe that you, of all people, would have been shocked when things finally did begin to evolve."
"To be honest, I was stunned." She dipped back into her hot chocolate.
"Now -that- I find surprising." The doctor sat forward in her chair. "You and Will have been dancing around each other for years, it's ship-wide gossip that the two of you have been secretly sleeping together since Farpoint..."
"What?" A short breath escaped Deanna's lungs.
Crusher lifted a hand. "Of course, no one's currently spreading that rumor."
Deanna's eyes narrowed.
"It wasn't me, I swear!"
"All right, then, if the entire ship seems to have been speculating on my relationship with Commander Riker at one point or another, why don't you tell -me- why I've been feeling so blind-sided by everything that's been happening these past few months?"
"Honestly? I don't know Deanna. The physiological effects of the Briar Patch wore off a long time ago. If you're telling me now that you have feelings for Will Riker, then I can only conclude from that, that you really do have feelings for him. You'd know better than anyone else what finally -did- change, between you. Maybe you just need some time to think. Or maybe you're thinking too much. The two of you have been spending a lot of time together, lately--even if you haven't made things 'official' for the crew yet."
"If you're asking me what's different this time, I'm not sure I can answer that." Deanna's wry look settled squarely on her friend's bemused expression. "The nature of the universe, perhaps?"
"Don't joke, I've considered that."
"I suppose, at first, it was a lot of small things," Troi shrugged. "He started showing up at my office after shifts sometimes. We stayed up talking later than usual on Thursday nights after dinner. Even the way he looked at me; one day I realized it was different."
Crusher's eyebrows rose. "Different... but familiar?"
"Too familiar." Deanna smiled. "What's even scarier was when I realized that I was thrilled by that. Moments when I'd always pushed him away in the past, for the sake of our friendship, I found myself suddenly flirting with him! And no matter how much I tried to rationalize my actions, or his, the truth was, I didn't really -want- the attention to stop."
"Deanna," Beverly flattened her palm atop the table. "It sounds to me like the relationship between you and Will just swung full circle, that's all. It followed its own course."
"Maybe." A thoughtful silence descended between them. "Whatever else has happened, Beverly, I've had this feeling for a while now that my life is about to change. And I don't just mean with respect to my relationship with Will. I can't explain it, really. It's something I can't articulate with words."
"Something to do with that 'link' between the two of you? Or just your regular, every day, run of the mill mid-life crisis?"
Beverly was obviously teasing, but Deanna looked out at the stars. "I don't know," she whispered. "If I had the answer to that, I might not be here brooding into my cocoa with you."
For a few moments, neither spoke. Crusher finally smiled. "Hey, what are friends for if not a little 'cocoa and brooding' now and again?" her expression sobered. "Deanna, maybe you should stop trying to figure everything out in advance. LIVE A LITTLE. Spend time with him, let yourself feel whatever you happen to feel and see where it takes you. You've turned a new corner, things are bound to look a little strange, even if you think it should all be familiar territory."
Deanna sighed. "I know you're right, I guess I'm just a little nervous... it's all been happening so quickly, and a part of me realizes that's because of how long we've come to know one another over the years. It's just that another part of me feels as though I've lost my sense of balance."
"Welcome back to being in love," Crusher smirked. "Have you spoken to Will about any of this?"
Deanna blinked. "No," she confessed, "I don't think it's really that big of an issue. If it becomes one, of course I'll talk with him."
"You're sure about that?"
"I am."
"Okay, you're the Counselor," Crusher nodded. "But you just sat here and told me that you're in love with him again. I have to ask: have you told -him- that, yet?"
Deanna looked down at her cocoa and smiled. "Yes."
"And what did he say?"
"Actually, he was the one who started the conversation. He told me, first."
"Huh," Crusher appeared thoughtful, "second surprise of the evening."
"That's one of the changes I was telling you about, Beverly," Deanna extended her hands across the table and took up her friend's. "He's so different than the Will Riker I remember falling in love with the first time. There are so many things--a lot of little things--that have changed. Differences I'd never anticipated, even though we've served together for so many years. The way he acts toward me. I thought I knew him better than anyone I've ever known in my entire life. Now I feel like every moment with him I'm discovering something new."
"Well that's good, isn't it?"
"Definitely endearing," Deanna smiled.
"Speaking of endearing," the doctor mused, "while you were down for the count last week with that Rigellian flu, he came to see me in the infirmary every day after his duty shift. I could set my office chronometer by his visits. I even felt guilty when I couldn't provide any more guidance than I already had. It was like he was desperately searching for some new recommendation I could offer him; something that would help him take better care of you when that fever hit. It was pretty charming, actually," she furrowed her brow. "His behavior, not the fever."
A rise of color filled Deanna's cheeks. "He really was wonderful through that. I didn't even know my own name for a few days, but one thing I did know was that he was with me. I don't think he realizes even now how much it helped, having him nearby like that. Every time I opened my eyes, I knew I wasn't alone."
"He missed the launch of the Omega retro-fit. I remember that, because I thought for sure he'd be brooding over it the next day, but when I ran into him on the bridge in the morning, he was all smiles."
"He missed the launch? Beverly, he was looking so forward to those tests..."
"Your fever broke," Crusher placed a warm hand on top of Troi's. "He was so worried about you, Deanna. I had staff volunteering to go to your quarters to check on -him- a few times that night."
"I can't believe he had to miss working on that launch. That's the sort of thing you can put on your record for future assignments."
"Yes, it is," the doctor agreed, "but you just said yourself, he's not the same Will Riker he used to be."
Troi sighed. "I did say that."
Glancing briefly at the chrono by the bar, Crusher rose from her chair. "I've got go, unfortunately, I have an appointment in five minutes," she looked down solemnly, "will you be all right?"
"I'm fine," Deanna waved her away, "really I am. I'm not feeling sullen. Preoccupied, I suppose. There's a lot in my life I have to think about right now."
"Can't argue there."
"Thank you," Deanna gave Crusher's hand a brief grasp as she walked around the table. "I always cherish our conversations."
The doctor smiled. "Me too. And hey, don't be a stranger. Things get busy around this ship, and it's easy to lose track of the time, but I guess we're all beginning to discover how easy it is to take the little things in life for granted. We should get together and talk more often."
Deanna nodded. "We will," she promised, watching her friend disappear from the Ten Forward lounge before she rose from her chair as well. "We definitely will."
-o-
Engineering was a bustle of mid-day activity. Officers traded work-stations and eager crew personnel vied for a look of commendation, or better still, a private nod from the Enterprise's Chief Engineer.
Setting down the hyper-spanner he'd been using to help LaForge and Data recalibrate their new sensor-array, Commander Riker turned his head from where he sat--wedged on the floor between a pair of offline computer consoles. He offered his lunch companion a mystified smile. "You want to tell me what's on your mind?"
"Not really." Deanna smiled back at him.
"Should I try and guess?" He furrowed his brow.
"It's not important, Will."
"I realize this wasn't exactly how we'd planned to have lunch today," he sighed, glancing tiredly--but eagerly--at the open panels all around him. "I guess I fell a little behind--"
"This is fine," Reaching out; she brushed her palm affectionately across his cheek. "I don't mind."
For an instant, he turned his face against her hand. But then her touch was gone. A crewman walked by with a stack of data-PADDs perched precariously in his overburdened arms, and when he acknowledged his superior officers, both Counselor Troi and Commander Riker appeared twin models of professional decorum.
As he walked out of earshot, Riker winked. "Close call."
"So, explain to me," Deanna ignored the innuendo, shifting on the floor toward the open console. "What exactly is it you're trying to enhance?"
"Well, you know they retrofit the sensors last week," Will's sky blue eyes lit with an almost child-like excitement, "but there's a point zero, zero two micron misalignment."
Deanna blinked twice. Even so, she couldn't help ribbing his obvious enthusiasm. "That sounds terrible."
Grinning at her tease, he grabbed one of her hands and laid it flat against the side of the computer terminal. "This one's still taking readings," he explained, "can you feel that?"
She closed her eyes and concentrated. "The hum?"
"Yes," he encouraged her, "feel the way the pulse is just a little bit off?"
For a silent instant, Deanna was sure she'd have to decline that analysis, but just as quickly as the thought had entered her mind, the sensation of the missing pulse pulled firmly into focus beneath her fingertips. "Yes!" she gasped, opening her eyes and beaming, "I feel it!"
"There you go," Riker smirked, "they say you haven't really lived until you've had an orgasm over the manual discovery of a sensor misalignment."
Laughing, Deanna grabbed onto his arm and leaned against the terminal. "That puts a lot of personalities into perspective on this ship, believe it or not."
"I believe it," he laughed.
"Including -yours- Commander."
"Something funny, Counselor?" Geordi LaForge rounded the console and smiled down at them.
Trading a pointed look with Deanna, Riker cleared his throat. "Do you remember the first time you ever heard a sub-micron sensor misalignment, Geordi?"
"Oh yeah," the Engineer sighed wistfully, "I was serving on the Kiersey. It was almost oh-nine hundred and--" he trailed off when both Riker and Troi descended into another helpless fit of amusement. "What's so funny?"
Lifting her hand, Deanna waved the moment off, slowly recovering her equilibrium. "It's nothing Geordi, just something silly Commander Riker was saying earlier, that's all."
LaForge regarded them both cautiously. "Why do I get the feeling I just ran head-first into something?"
"In the spirit of continued friendship, Geordi," Riker smiled up at him, "we're going to move on from this discussion and pretend we never had it."
Amused, LaForge shook his head. "Whatever you say, sir. But someday, I wanna know what just happened here," he stepped back between the consoles and offered them a final familial glance before disappearing down the Engineering corridor.
"Shame on you, Commander," Deanna chided, "pulling rank like that."
"Hey," Riker spread his hands, "I was just trying to preserve the peace."
"Trying to preserve your pride is more like it." She poked him lightly in the chest, but he caught and trapped her hand before she could snatch it away again.
"I think crewman Lyle saw that."
"Saw me admonish you for abusing your rank?"
"Saw you attacking me just now," he grinned.
"Attacking you? Please."
"I think that's a court marshal-able offense, Counselor."
Deanna expropriated her hand, swatting his aside. "I highly doubt that THAT, was worthy of a court-marshal, Commander. On the other hand, THIS might be." Reaching behind him, she tipped the edge of the console aside, detaching the tenuous support he'd been leaning against.
With a muffled exclamation, Riker grasped for her arm, and missed.
Scrambling out of his reach, Deanna watched with shameless amusement as he toppled from his precarious position, landing flat on his back across the unexpectedly open space. "Deanna!"
"Oops," she laughed.
Rolling into an upright position, Riker glowered at her. "I hope you don't believe you're getting away with that."
"Would you look at the time?" Deanna hopped to her feet, dusting a series of invisible particles from her uniform and beaming. "I'd better get back to my office, I have patients waiting."
"Counselor--" he warned, even as she'd begun to walk away.
"Yes, Commander?" she stopped. Several engineering officers milled past her in the open corridor and she offered them each a smile, turning back to him with a serene, professional expression.
Riker grinned. She was clever, that was for sure. But two could play this game. "I'll see you at twenty-one hundred?"
Appearing thoughtful for only a moment, Deanna finally shrugged. "I may have to work late."
"Of course," he nodded, still smiling, "well then, have a good night, Counselor."
"I will, thank you," she paused. "Oh, and Commander?"
"Yes, Counselor?"
"You should be careful, leaning against those consoles; I hear they're not very stable." She threw a saucy smile over her shoulder, turning back into the corridor.
Raising both eyebrows, Riker tipped his head back and laughed.
-o-
"So there I was--" Riker drawled, leaning casually over the poker table in his quarters. "--three Klingon warriors more than I'd programmed into the initial interface, and Mr. Worf here thought it would be -stimulating- to turn the safeties off!"
"Oh my God!" Beverly Crusher's mouth fell open, "what did you do?"
"He survived," Worf quipped gruffly, affording Riker a look of tolerant indignation.
"Barely," Riker grinned, "it was touch and go there for a while."
"I would not have let you die," the Klingon interjected, frowning at his poker hand in disgust. "Who dealt this?"
"That would be Data," Geordi LaForge spoke up, "and if you're ready to turn the safeties off on HIS next holodeck adventure, I'd be happy to help after this hand..."
"I do apologize, Geordi," Data said, "but I am quite certain the cards were sufficiently randomized."
"Ah, it's ok, Data," LaForge sighed, "guess it's just not my night."
"I'd be happy to take those chips off your hands right now, Mr. LaForge," Riker smirked, "if you're willing to concede defeat."
Worf narrowed his eyes. "Such a transaction would be... dishonorable."
Data's hand came down gently on the Klingon's bulky arm. "I believe that Commander Riker is ... only kidding."
"He knows that, Data," Riker smiled, "he's just giving me a hard time because he can."
"Someone must keep you in line," Worf looked up at Riker and smirked.
"Good for you, Worf." A lilting voice interjected from the doorway and everyone turned.
"Deanna!" Crusher beamed, "you made it."
"Well, I realized that if I wanted to, I could probably work late all night, every night and still never feel caught up." Pulling a chair from the corner of Riker's quarters, Deanna set it down between Worf and Will and sat in it. "Is he telling that ridiculous story about those six Klingons again?" her dark eyes settled on Beverly Crusher but Riker grinned.
"It's a good story," he defended.
"It would be," Deanna turned to him, "if four out of six of them weren't frozen in place at a time."
"What?" Geordi laughed, "I think he left that part out."
"Well it... wasn't really necessary to get the point across for the story." Riker flashed Worf an icy glare, "and how did she know about that, anyway?"
To his credit, the Klingon seemed discomfited by the attention. "I may have... mentioned something to her... at some point."
"At some point?" Riker's eyebrow rose.
"Oh come on, Will," Deanna swatted his arm cheerfully, "you should know better than anyone that it's impossible to keep secrets from me when I'm determined to extract them." Her pointed look lasted only a moment before Riker glanced aside and cleared his throat.
Crusher laughed, leaning forward in her chair. "This is more fun than the poker game."
"It's wonderful to see you all, again." Deanna sighed happily. "I know it's only been a week, but it feels like much longer. Actually, I wasn't sure any of you would still be here this late. Have I missed the last hand?"
"You're just in time," Riker threw her wry smile, "though for ruining my story, I should--"
"Oh just give her some chips and shut up, Will." Beverly Crusher shook her head, "if your tail feathers grew any larger, we'd all have to move out into the hall."
Trading a look between the two smiling women, Riker sighed. "Why do I get the feeling I've just been ganged up on?"
"Because you have," Deanna hooked her fingertips inside his uniform collar, pulling him gently toward her.
"What?" he asked, eyeing her circumspectly; all too aware of the potentially lethal grip she'd acquired on his throat.
But Troi said nothing. Instead... she kissed him.
Closing soft, warm lips over his, she coaxed his inevitable response, and for a timeless moment, everything else vanished. The poker game, the Enterprise, the entirety of the hallowed universe fell away and Riker lifted a hand to the side of her face, instinctively drawing her closer.
Smiling against his lips, Deanna reached around him and liberated several poker chips from his stack, shifting them across the table to create her own pile.
"I saw that," he whispered as they pulled slowly apart, still oblivious to the others in the room.
Deanna's shoulders rose and fell and the coy tilt of her mouth turned up at the edges.
"Help yourself," he sighed, shaking his head in defeat.
The quiet sound of Geordi LaForge clearing his throat brought them back to 'reality' and Will glanced affably across the table. When no one else had spoken, LaForge spoke for them all. "So, does this mean that we can finally, publicly, acknowledge the fact that we know you two are crazy about each other?"
Exchanging a meaningful look with Troi, Riker smiled tenderly at her. "Why not?"
Releasing his collar, Deanna smoothed the front of his uniform carefully back down. She slipped an arm through his and laid her head against his broad shoulder, echoing his smile. "I'd say it's about damn time."
Crusher grinned. Geordi nodded gamely. And Worf ... uttered an inarticulate, yet somehow affirmative, grunt.
"It would appear," said Data, gathering up a series of discarded playing-cards from the table, "that today may be your 'lucky day' after all, Commander." His android dexterity caused the tiny plastic strips to blur together with each subsequent shuffle as he prepared to re-deal.
Carefree laughter preceded Deanna's solemn declaration: "Ante up, everyone."
[end]