Regretting Decisions
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Chapter 1
Deanna Troi sat curled up on her luxurious four poster bed, and flipped through her photo album full of images documenting all the good times she experienced while serving on the Enterprise. It amazed her to think that it had been over four years since she resigned her post from Starfleet, in pursuit of an active political career on her deteriorating home planet. Four years since she had told William Riker, her imazdi, that she had an obligation as the Daughter of the Fifth House of Betazed to return to her home and do her best to save the planet. Four years since in desperation of leaving her beloved Will, she had begged him to come with her and be her political advisor, her friend, and her lover. She had told him she could not imagine her life without him. He had sadly told her he could not survive life anywhere other then within the stars.
She often wondered if he ever regretted that decision.
* * * *
Captain William Riker sat proudly in his captain’s chair, on his newly appointed ship the U.S.S. Excite. This was his first day, on his new ship, in his new position. A position he had dreamed of attaining since his boyhood. He was undoubtedly thrilled at the chance of being Captain, however, he was still lacking personal fulfillment, that made a life happy.
His mind inadvertently wandered to Deanna. He had yet to remember a time since she had exited his life, that he ever achieved the complete happiness and fulfillment that he so desired.
He often wondered if she missed him.
* * * *
Deanna reluctantly dragged herself out of the comforts of her bed and headed towards her closet. Today was the day she had promised Gavin Wettwo, a young prince from a wealthy neighboring planet, whether she would accept his marriage proposal or not. His proposal had many promising perks for the people of Betazed, including extensive funds to rebuild their war torn city and an alliance with a planet who had one of the most impressive militaries in the galaxy. However it had many drawbacks as well, like lacking love, the basis of a healthy marriage.
She felt her dark eyes being drawn back to her photo album that still laid open on her bed. Back to the pictures of her and Will.
“Can nobody ever fill his shoes?” She wondered.
* * * *
Will knew that it was his responsibility as the new captain that once he got off official duty that he ought to go on unofficial duty. Unofficial duty being mingling with and generally getting to know his new crew, in the Excite’s version of the Ten-Forward Lounge. However, tonight he just couldn’t bring himself to go.
Upon entering his quarters, Will immediately crossed his living room and went straight for his communicator mounted on his bedroom wall, an off-work ritual he had began the day Deanna had left the Enterprise,
“Computer, please connect me with Deanna Troi.”
The computer, being programmed of Deanna number ahead of time, easily dialed the access code to Deanna’s home on Betazed. The crackling connection noise began to come through on his speakers.
As Will heard this noise, he felt the familiar knot began to form in his stomach and his throat go dry. “Damn,” he thought to himself angrily, “everyday for four years I have attempted to make this call. And everyday, for four years, I’ve chickened out before she has ever answered.
Outloud he croaked, “Computer, hang - up.”
“Invalid Command.”
“WHAT.” Riker said, dread thick through his voice
The computer repeated, “Invalid entry.”
“Newer ship . . .newer commands, dummy.” Will thought to himself. He quickly grabbed the reference manual and flipped through it.
“Will, is that you?”
“Damn,” he thought, “to late.”
Chapter 2
“Hi Deanna,” Will said, beads of sweat running down his face, “it sure has been a while.”
“Stupid,” he thought miserably to himself, “nice come on line.”
“Yeah it has.” Deanna said with a plastered grin on her face. She began to clench her hands in a anxious fashion. “What’s up?”
“Not much, what’s up with you?” Will asked nervously, his heart pounding harder and faster the more he looked at her.
“Will, are you okay? You heart is racing” Deanna asked, her dark eyes flooded with concern.
Will shut his eyes to gather himself, and suddenly became aware of a small probing sensation in the back of his head. “Don’t you think your being awfully presumptuous, Dee. I haven’t spoken to you in four years and you automatically assume you have a right to pick at my brain.”
The sensation came to abrupt stop, “Well EXCUSE ME. I assumed something was wrong with you by your accelerated heartbeat and your excessiveperspiration. I do have a right to worry, don’t I.”
Will felt a flush creep up into his neck, “No, you don’t have a right to worry. You gave that right up four years ago, when you chose Betazed over me.”
Deanna bit her lip, tears stinging her eyes, “I’m sorry about the probing, it won’t happen again. However, need I remind you that you called me, so what do you want?”
“How in the hell did I get this off on such the wrong foot?” Will thought miserably, “I’m sitting here fighting with the only woman I have ever truly loved.”
“I just missed you and wanted to see how you were, that’s all.” Will gave her one of his famous Riker grins, “can we call a truths?”
The scowl on Deanna’s face made him gulp nervously, “I can’t believe in four years you still blame me for the breakdown of our relationship. I can’t believe you still blame me for coming back to defend my home.”
“Don’t you regret not staying with me on the Enterprise?”
“I regret you didn’t have the courtesy or the love to follow me. Will, I turned down numerous promotions, so that I could stay on the Enterprise with you. I just assumed that when I was needed to be somewhere, you would do the same for me.” The tears were freely falling now from her eyes. “It doesn’t matter anymore, I’ve gotten engaged and will be married in a week.”
Will immediately grabbed his chest, as he envisioned his heart breaking at those fateful uttered words. His mind wandered to the thought of another man laying next to his imazdi, loving his imazdi, and he felt his stomach turn sour.
“Married, to who?”
She shook her head violently, “it doesn’t matter Will. We were over a long time ago.”
“TO WHO” he screamed, his hand waving wildly in the air above his head, “I have a right to know who you feel would make a better husband then me.”
Deanna sighed, as she reached over to off button her communicator, “No Will, you don’t.” She quickly flipped off the communication before he could respond.
Chapter 3
Will Riker sat in his cabin, on his bed, in the dark, in a stunned silence.
“Why, why is she marrying someone else?” was the question that ran rampant in his mind.
<<Knock Knock>> came the rapping sound from his front door.
“Go Away”
<<Knock Knock>>
Reluctantly Will pulled himself from his sitting position and crossed his quaters to the door.
“Who is it?”
“Sir, it’s me Commander Detrix. Sir, you are being hailed by the Enterprise on a personal frequency. Would you like me to forward the message to your room.”
A groan escaped Will’s lips. The last thing he wanted to do was make any more communications with anybody this evening, however, he didn’t feel like alienating what little friends he had either.
“Go ahead and send them through.”
He heard the retreating footsteps of his first officer and then the image of Beverly Crusher appeared.
“Hi Will.” greeted Beverly.
Will took one look at the petite doctor and knew instantaneously why she had called, “Doc I already know. I talked to Deanna earlier today.”
Beverly gave Will a weak smile and diverted her eyes from his, “I know you know . . .that’s not why I am contacting you.”
Will pulled a chair away from his kitchen table to his viewscreen and sat down, “Okay Doc, you have my attention now. Why did you call?”
Beverly’s small body fidgeted nervously in her chair, “Will, Deanna has given an open invitation to anybody from Starfleet to attended her wedding. However, she wanted me to call and ask you, as a friend, to please not come.”
Will eyes widened and his body began to shake in his chair, “She doesn’t want me to be there. ME?”
“Will,” Beverly said, concern running thick in her voice, “you don’t want to be there.”
Will got up from his chair and pushed it away. “Yes I do,” he said defiantly, as he began to pace across the room. “Why doesn’t she want me there?”
“Will I don’t know for sure. It’s been a good four years since me and Deanna have sat down for girl talk.”
Will stopped his pacing and narrowed his eyes accusingly, “You may not know for sure, but it’s obvious you have a hunch, so spill it.”
“Will, I can’t.”
“Beverly please. Deanna is about to marry a guy in two weeks and has banned me from the wedding. I think I know why she did this, but I need to hear somebody else say it.” he searched her face for any kind of weakening, “Beverly I need to know if I am way off on left base to assume she still loves me.”
Silence.
“Please...” he begged
“I . .I don’t necessarily think you are off left base to think she may still hold feelings for you, but I do think you have to realize that you hurt her pretty bad. I think you have to realize that a lot of bad blood has passed between you both.”
“And then what Beverly, what can I do?”
A smile spread across the red-head face, “Duh Will! You have two weeks to win her back.”
Chapter 4
“Commander Detrix, I would like to see you in my ready room before I relieve you of duty.” Will Riker announced on his way onto the bridge of the Excite.
“Yes Sir.” Commander Detrix said aloud, silently the Betazed commander noted how energized his Captain had become over night.
The two men crossed the bridge and headed to the side door.
“Captain, it seems you got a good nights sleep?” Detrix asked, fishing for Riker to reveal what was currently on his mind.
Will Riker smiled as he took his seat at the head of the large oblong table, “Actually Commander I got no sleep, but I appreciate the compliment no less.”
He motioned for the boyish looking commander to take his seat next to him, “Commander, before we begin I want to thank you for being polite enough not to read my mind. I rarely have come across a full telepathic betazed who maintained enough respect for earthlings, by not invading the thoughts of each one that may come across their path “
Detrix met Will eye to eye, “I don’t feel that it’s honest of me to read my captain’s mind when he can’t read mine.”
Riker nodded, noting how much respect the boy earned from him by making that comment, “I would however like you read my mind now.”
“Excuse me?” Detrix asked, shocked.
Will reached over and grabbed the boys hand, “To make a long story stort, I’m going to ask you to help me do something that goes against what Starfleet would want me to do. I am going to ask you to help me bend a couple of rules.”
“Why?”
“I could tell you . . .but I don’t think you would fully understand how important this is. Please read my mind.” Will begged.
Detrix hesitated, “Are you sure?”
“PLEASE.”
Detrix nodded and mentally began tearing down the walls he had formed around his telepathic senses. He then eased his mind to Will, to begin his journey into the mind of William Riker.
While Detrix explored, Will sat in his chair. He silently prayed that Detrix would understand, and help him. He prayed Detrix would be able to recognize that he needed to stop this wedding . . .at all cost.
After about five minutes, Commander Detrix cleared his throat, “Wow. I had no idea that Chancellor Troi was your imazdi.”
“Well . . .Deanna and I are kind of at odds right now.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Yes you probably do. Will you help me?”
Chapter 5
“Deanna, some help would be nice.” Lwaxana Troi huffed, as she ran flittering around her daughers’ room, “I mean it is YOUR wedding.”
“Did you just say something mother?” Deanna asked distractedly.
Lwaxana Troi walked over to the chair where her daughter was sitting and brought her face inches away from Deanna, “Dear, I said I would like some HELP.”
“Sorry, I am a little preoccupied, today.”
“Yes, and he’s not worth it so get un-preoccupied.” Lwaxana ordered.
Deanna shrunk further into the over sized sweater she was wearing, as if she was trying to hide from her mother’s stinging words, “You used to want us together.”
“Yes I did. However, that was before you became Chancellor Troi and he remained Commander Will. That was before he chose to remain on the Enterprise and let you come back alone.”
“He is a Captain, Mother.” Deanna defended.
“Well pin a rose on his nose. I don’t care, if he truly loved you he would have come back with you. This was you destiny and he should be by your side to fulfill it.” Lwaxana gave her the look that silently said that was all she was going to discuss on the subject of Will Riker.
* * * *
“Well,” Will asked, staring deeply into the violet eyes of his first officer, “will you help me, help me win back the love of my imazdi.”
Detrix shifted uncomfortably under his Captain’s gaze, “Normally the answer would be yes, without thinking twice. However, this wedding means so much to the people of Betazed.”
“Damn it,” Will struck the table in front of him with a fierce blow, “I thought your people’s goal was to preserve the imazdi relationship.”
“Chancellor Troi’s marriage to prince Gavin will bring forth an alliance of the strong and the weak, Betazed being the weak. It will bring the people of Betazed wealth and safety beyond our wildest hopes and dreams.” Detrix looked at Will, “You are asking to much of me.”
Will covered his face with his hands, “Isn’t Betazed being a little unfair to Deanna? Doesn’t she have the right to marry for love? Compared to marrying for the safety of her planet?” He removed his hands from his face, and looked hard at Detrix, “Deanna doesn’t arrange your marriages for her benefit, why does she have to have an arranged marriage for your benefit?”
Detrix eyes shifted away from Will and focused on the window beside him, “I will not try to stop you, however, I will not help you.” he focused back on Will, “am I relieved from duty, Captain?”
“Yes Commander,” Will sadly nodded, “that will be all.”
Chapter 6
William Riker stood in the main engine room of the Excite, and stared long and hard at the ship’s engine. Would he be able to pull of this scam, he wondered, without getting caught? He slowly made his over to the ships main controller.
“Five . . .four . . .three . . .two . . .one.” he muttered under his breath.
Quickly he grabbed his blaster and fired at the engine’s coolant mechanism, scattering the mechanism into little pieces. He then dropped his blaster onto the floor.
“Oh no, look what my clumsiness done now.” he said innocently to the group of engineers gathering to see what happened.
“Captain, what did you do?” asked his Chief Engineer M’skea Dktle, who came running out from underneath the counsel she had been repairing.
Will looked innocently at his Chief Engineer, “I came down her to see what was going on, and I was looking at the engine, and then BAM, my blaster fell out of its holster, hit the floor, misfired . . and now we have the problem we have now.”
He anxiously looked around his crew to see if anybody would dare contradict his story. No one spoke up.
“Captain this is not good. Without the coolant the engine will overheat in a matter of hours. The excess heat will likely cause the engine to die out and we will be stranded.”
Will nodded, “If I could get us docked at a local planet, say Betazed, could you find the parts to fix it?”
“Yes of course.”
“Very good. I will contact the Betazed authorities immediately of our unscheduled stop.” he swiftly turned his back and headed out the door before the crew could see the smile that was spreading across his face.
* * * *
“Chancellor Troi, there is a Starfleet ship hailing us with an emergency signal.”
“On screen.”
William Riker’s face popped up on the screen and Deanna felt her heart stop in her chest.
“Chancellor, our ship’s coolant system has failed and within two hours are ship with be rendered dead. I have contacted you to make a formal request to have permission to dock and make all necessary repairs.” Will said in his proper starfleet etiquette voice.
“Will this isn’t funny.” Deanna shot back, raising her head in a defiant fashion, “I don’t want you here.”
Will’s insides felt like he had been socked in the gut by her hateful words, but outside he maintained his posture, “Chancellor, if you want, you may talk to my chief engineer or my first officer to confirm everything I have told you, but I should hope that you can put personal matter aside and be able to communicate on a professional level. Chancellor . . . Deanna, you are wasting my ship’s time. If you are going to deny us docking rights, please do so now, so that I may hail another planet before it is to late.”
Deanna looked at him, her eyes blazing with fury, “You will not ruin my wedding.”
“Deanna the sooner you let me down there, the sooner my ship may be fixed and my crew and I will be off your planet. Hell, we may be fixed and gone before your little farce of a wedding even takes place.”
“FARCE!?!”
“Do I have your permission?”
Deanna growled, “Yes, you may land.”
“Thanks, Excite out.”
* * * *
Deanna reached over to her intercom, “Zelda, I need to be notified twenty minutes before the Excite is to land. I believe it is my diplomatic duty to greet the members of the ship.”
“Yes ma’m” her assistant replied
“and also break into my honeymoon trunk and bring me that little blue strappy dress.”
Chapter 7
“Captain, we will be arriving on the Betazed in twenty minutes.” Detrix said, contempt running through his voice.
“Thank you Commander.” Will said, “would you terribly mind if I turn the bridge over to you, while I go freshen up?”
“Does it matter what I think?” Detrix asked.
“Frankly Detrix, no.” and with that Will happily retreated to his cabin.
* * * *
Zelda gave a low whistle, “My my you look H-O-T.”
Deanna smiled as she did circles in front of the full length mirror Zelda had brought into her office. The spaghetti strap tight on top flare bottom dress did do justice to her body, accenting all the positives, but what seemed so right to wear earlier suddenly seemed so very wrong.
“This is stupid, I don’t know what I was thinking. . . where is my business suit.” Deanna asked.
“It in the other room, but ma’m the ship will be here in fifteen minutes. If you want to meet him, you have to leave right now.”
“Oh what the hell, let’s go.” Deanna said, and grabbed Zelda by the arm and ran out the door.
* * * *
“Sir, we are here, and there seems to be a group of diplomats waiting to greet us.” Detrix called from the hallway door outside Riker’s cabin.
“Is Deanna there?” Will called from the batroom, where he was making last minute touches on his hair.
“Sir , I don’t want to be involved.”
The cabin doors slid open and Will peeked his head out, “I am not asking you to go out there and kidnap her, I am just asking . . . no ordering you to tell me if she is out there.”
“She is.”
Will smiled, “Good.”
* * * *
Deanna stood outside the Excite, systematically greeting each and every crew member that got of the Excite. She took a quick glance towards the ships door, but had yet to see Will.
“Which one is he?” Zelda hissed in her ear.
Deanna gave a condensdening look to her mousy looking assistant, wondering if she shouldn’t had confided in her about the past she and Will shared, “He hasn’t been out yet, and frankly I don’t care if he comes out at all.”
“Yeah, sure.” Zelda muttered.
Deanna shot her a look of death, and was about to verbally berate her, when she suddenly felt the hair on her arm perk up, “He’s coming.”
And sure enough the final two people to exit out of Excite doors were William Riker and his First Officer.
Will looked at Detrix, the hair on his arm also being to rise, “I forgot how intoxicating it can be to be so near her.”
Detrix grinned, despite the love-hate feeling he had towards his Captain, “The Imazdi relationship is always the best thing and the worst thing that can ever happen to a man.”
Deanna grabbed on to Zelda’s shoulders, “I don’t know if I can handle this . . .face-to-face.”
Zelda eyed her boss suspiciously, “Just remember why you hate him.”
“Deep breath Riker.” Will mentally coached himself.
“Captain Riker on behalf.” Deanna started, in her routine welcoming speech.
Will eyed her up and down, fully ignoring the routine speech, choosing to feast on the site of his beautiful imazdi instead. Her long legs that went on forever, her tiny waist, her chest, the thick dark hair, the eyes.”
“I welcome you.” Deanna finished, holding out her hand for the typical handshake.
Will took the hand, but instead of shaking it, used it as a tool to pull Deanna into an embrace. He tilted her head up, looked deeply into her eyes, and placed his mouth directly on hers for a long, deep, lingering kiss.
Chapter 8
Deanna broke away from the kiss with a dazed look on her face, “Will . . you shouldn’t have done that.”
Will smiled, “Why? Didn’t you like it.”
Deanna felt herself shaking her head yes, even though her mind was trying to convince her to say no.
Will mood brighten a hundred percent by her Freudian slip, “Good, because we have wasted to much time as it is.” He grabbed to embrace her again, but she stepped back.
“Will, I am engaged.”
“But Dee you don’t love him? I know you don’t.”
“Will,” Dee looked around to the faces of the curious crowd of Betazoid and Starfleet crew around her, “Can we go somewhere a little more private.”
“Your pad or mine?”
* * * *
Deanna inquisitively looked around her, as she and Will walked aboard the Excite. She had convinced herself during her four year starship hiatus that she did not miss being aboard a ship, however she was starting to think that through again.
“Oh Will, she’s beautiful.” Deanna gushed.
Will peered down at his imazdi, her kind words filling him with pride, “Not quite as flashy as the Enterprise, but not a bad, huh?”
“Oh Will, your to modest,” Deanna continually praised, as she ran her hand up and down the wall of the ship.
“Yes, well she could be both of ours.” Will hinted, trying to catch Deanna’s eye.
Deanna avoided his attempts, choosing to marvel at the latest technology in replicators instead. “Yes you truly deserve this Will, I am very happy for you.”
Exasperated, Will grabbed her shoulders and forcing her to look at him, “Deanna, I love. I’ve loved you from the first moment I saw you here on Betazed, and I haven’t stopped since. Please don’t force me out of your life again. Please.”
So conflicted with emotion, Deanna covered her face with her hands, as to shield herself from her pain, “Will, what are you saying. Are you saying you want me to give up everything I have worked for, so I can run away with you on your ship? Or are you saying you want me to break my engagement and we will have a long . . .long distance relationship. Gratifying my own needs in sacrifice of my people’s well being? Or are you saying you are willing to stay here with me, and be at my side.” She raised her eyes hopefully at that last statement, “If I had your expertise at my side I would not need Gavin’s help.”
This time it was Will’s turn to step back, “Dee I haven’t got that far yet. My goal was to get to you before your wedding, and here I am.”
Deanna shook her head sadly, “That’s not quite convincing enough for me to call off my wedding Captain.”
Chapter 9
“Captain, if I may be so blunt, she gave you the opportunity you wanted. All you had to do was agree to stay here with her and she would have called off the wedding.” Detrix took a swig of his betazed ale, “She gave you more of a chance then I would have given you.”
Will gave his first officer a dirty look, “Yeah, thanks. However, you must not forget she was not willing to make any compromises for us either. “
Detrix motioned the bartender for another round of drinks, “Sir, permission to speak frankly.”
Will took a quick shot of Betazed’s version of Tequila, and gasped, “Haven’t you been already?”
“Sir, you left her at the altar for your career, why should she want to leave her career to be at the altar for you. If she had left you at the altar on Risa, would you be willing to make any sacrifices for her?”
Will stared long and hard into the shot glass before him, intoxication becoming apparent in his voice, “She wants me to give up my ship. Me being a Captain is the only dream my father and I shared. It is the whole basis of our shaky relationship. This is the only time he has been proud of me. How am I suppose to give that up”
“And Deanna, what kind of common ground do you think her and her mother share? How proud of mother do you think Lwaxana is, having her daughter being the only girl of Betazed royalty to ever move up into the position of Chancellor?” Detrix asked.
“Detrix, I hate you for thinking so much for the both of us” Will said sarcastically with a groan.
“That’s my job.”
* * * *
“Zelda” Deanna sniffed, “can you cancel all my appointments for today.”
Zelda handed her boss a handful of tissue, “Already done.”
Deanna smiled weakly up to her assistant, “Thanks.”
“Do you still love him?” Zelda asked
Deanna’s head bobbed up and down, “I’m mad about him.”
“Then why don’t you just go with him?”
“Oh yeah, and what about Betazed?” Deanna asked.
Zelda rolled her eyes, “What about Betazed, Deanna? We survived before you took over, we can survive after you leave.”
Deanna sniffed again “Great, thanks for making me feel so important.”
Zelda gave her boss a hug, “You’ve done great work, and made personal sacrifices above and beyond what was asked. I just want you to know that because of all that, if you want to hang it up, you can.”
Deanna looked at her distractedly “Thanks.” she mumbled.
* * * *
Will sat alone, outside on a bench in front of the Betazed embassy, sadly watching the chairs and tables being set up for Deanna and Gavins wedding. He could not believe that it had been two weeks since he had the falling out with Deanna onboard the Excite. Two weeks since he had last spoken with her.
After the night at the bar with his first officer Detrix, he had realized that his life could not progress without Deanna, and had gone back to his ship with full intentions to call Deanna and say whatever it took to win her back. Even that he would give up his ship if she would become a permanent fixture in this life. However, to his misfortune, when he had arrived to his room there was a message waiting for him, from Deanna.
The message had basically said she was sorry that she had come on his ship praising it’s beauty and then turning around and asking him to leave it. She further said she had decided to marry Gavin, whether he had a change of heart or not, because it benefited the most amount of people. And finally, to his dread, she had said good-bye, good-bye to their relationship, friendship, and their love.
Now, little under two weeks since that fateful communication he sat alone, a crushed and broken man, watching the set-up for the wedding that should have been his.
“Mind if I sit down.”
Without looking up with absently nodded his head.
“Thanks. Looks like it is going to be a nice wedding, huh?”
Will rolled his eyes, “Yeah, I guess if you like weddings.”
“Will your not very encouraging.”
Will turned to the person who had sat next to him, and gasped in disbelief, “Dee!”
The woman, with the green baseball hat and the black sunglasses, held her index finger up to her lips, “Captain, how fast can you get your ship off this planet.”
Eyes still wide from disbelief, Will responded, “Twenty-minutes, why?”
“Oh . . .well in thirty five minutes Gavin is going to lift up his brides veil, and find an eager Zelda waiting for her kiss.”
Will bit his lip to hold back a laugh, “Are you sure you want to leave, what will Gavin say? Do?”
Deanna shrugged her shoulders, letting an evil grin spread across her face, “The contract I signed promised the Chancellor of Betazed to Gavin and . . .due to a small private ceremony earlier today . . . Zelda is the Chancellor.”
“But” Riker started, feeling guilty that Deanna was going to give up her dreams for him, again.
Deanna stopped him short by laying her lips squarely on his lips. Once the kiss was finally broken, she let her lips wander to ear, “If you are really feeling guilty, you can appoint me a nice cushy position as ship’s counselor.” she whispered.
Will smiled, enjoying the closeness of her body next to his, “I think that can be arranged . . .if you have the right qualifications.”
“Oh yes Captain,” Deanna said arching her eyebrow, “I have ALL the right qualifications.”
THE END