The Way It's Supposed To Be

Author : trylikeafool@gmail.com
Rating : PG
Disclaimer : One Word - PARAMOUNT - I only came up with the story.
Storyline : basically everything changes so if you don't like change - then
either don't read this story or learn from it.

PROLOGUE
USS ENTERPRISE E
BRIDGE/READY ROOM
2377 (this is what the real year is right now on Trek in case you were
wondering)


"Sir?" Will slowly raised his head and met the eyes of his demise. They were
eyes that would carry him away from here. Away from his family, his friends -
his home. As he looked into those eyes, he saw such ambition and confusion. A
smile lightly touched his lips as he remembered all of those years ago when
he was young. He's thought that by this time in his life, he would know
exactly who he was and where he was going. He thought he'd have it all
figured out. Now, however, it seemed worse. He was still discovering what lay
ahead...and didn't even know about some of it yet.

He took a sniff of fresh air and unfolded his nervous hands. He looked from
the youthful ensign that stood in front of where he was sitting and turned
his eyes on the door. It was the door that would soon belong to him. Without
a doubt, he knew what the young officer was about to tell him. "He will see
you now."

Will nodded briefly to the ensign and watched as he walked off. He wasn't
ready to get up and walk into his impending future. He had endured many
trials in his lifetime, but this was going to be the hardest. Reluctantly, he
rose to his feet and took the first step. He was on his way.....he was on his
way to a new life.

The doors parted at his presence. He looked inside and saw the only man he'd
ever admired more than any one else....yes....even Deanna. "You wanted to see
me, sir?" It was a simple question that should have been followed by a simple
answer, but it had to be harder. That was the way it was supposed to be.

Their eyes met. Will's curious blue gaze struck a mighty force with Picard's
heavy one. Jean-Luc Picard nervously tapped his forefinger on the desk next
to where he was standing. "I'm leaving."

Will's heart began to beat like an African drum. He had expected that answer,
but expecting it and actually having it confirmed were two very different
things. It had been said, and now he had to deal with it. That's the way it's
supposed to be.

Will took the deepest breath he could and crossed his arms over his chest. "I
guess there's nothing I can say to change your mind."

Picard cleared his throat and then looked Will square in the eye, "No, there
isn't. It's time for me to move on, Will. I've been a Captain for nearly 35
years now. I was an officer long before that. I have to step down now. It's
your turn, Will."

Right now at this very moment, Will hated the man's guts. How could he do
this to him? For once, he had a family, someone who loved him, and someone
who could look after him like a father. Now he was going to be alone again.
"I'll never forget what you taught me, you know."

Picard smiled and pointed a finger at the larger man, "See that you don't. I
didn't put up with 13 years of you for nothing."

In his heart, Will knew the Captain was having some fun with him, but it felt
a lot worse than that. "I hope that I proved you a great officer. I just hope
that your last memory of me is better than the first." Will almost cringed as
he thought about that first day that he and the Captain had met...how stupid
he seemed to himself now.

Picard took a couple of steps in Will's direction and stopped a few feet
away, "You have no idea what my first memory of you is. I remember a young,
inexperienced first officer, loaded with all the potential in the universe.
And now, I see a truly remarkable man on the verge of realizing that
potential. It's funny, but you never seem to realize it until you're on your
own."

"Yea," Will whispered and looked down in the uncomfortable moment. "So, when
do you leave?"

"Tomorrow," Picard said quickly, getting it out of the way. "My resignation
will be effective as of 0800 tomorrow morning. I'll hand the ship over to you
then."

Will nodded his consent and started backing up toward the door. "Fine," he
said quietly. He turned to leave but before the doors could part, Will heard
Picard's voice.

"I heard about Deanna. I'm sorry, Will."

Will halfway turned around and then made his only gesture - a shrug. He
walked out of the Ready Room and began his new life, so help him God.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
END PROLOGUE

USS ENTERPRISE E
BEVERLY CRUSHER'S QUARTERS
2377


“You haven’t said a word since we started eating, Jean-Luc.” Picard gently
nudged his food around on his plate with the fork he held. He couldn’t figure
out why he wasn’t hungry. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast and now it was
dinner time. Beverly....was she talking to him? Looking up, he found that
indeed she was addressing him.

“I’m sorry Beverly. What were you saying?” He tried his best to pay attention
to what she was saying but was having the hardest time keeping his mind from
wandering.

Beverly sighed and slumped her shoulders, “Jean-Luc,” she complained, “What
in the world is going on in that mind of yours?”

Picard smiled for a brief second and tried to cover his true feelings,
“Nothing Bev, really. I guess I’m just a little anxious about tomorrow is
all.”

Realization dawned on Beverly and she folded her hands in her lap, looking
down respectfully. Tomorrow. That was the last thing that she wanted to think
about right now and here they were about to talk about it. “It’s going to be
hard. Other than Jack’s death, I don’t think I’ve felt this badly. I mean
it’s not bad,” she corrected, “It’s just...”

“Hard,” Picard finished for her. Beverly only nodded silently. “I’m worried
about Will too. I know that he will make a fine and capable captain, but
there’s....”

“Deanna.” Beverly nodded again and took a deep breath, picking up her fork
again. “You know, Will. He won’t even let you see how much it’s bothering
him. Only thing is, I know that it’s bothering him because he’s acting like
it’s not.”

Picard stood and began to pace, “Are you sure you tried to talk to Deanna?”

Beverly joined Picard and stood as well. She ran a hand through her long hair
by force of habit, “I talked and talked and talked and she listened and
nothing changed.”

Picard stopped his pacing and almost caused Beverly to run into him,
“Everything is about to change, Beverly.”

Beverly placed her hands on his chest and let a silent tear trail down her
cheek. She let it fall.

USS ENTERPRISE E
WILL RIKER'S QUARTERS
2377


He couldn’t walk. The clutter spread throughout his cabin made that very
simple movement impossible. So, instead he just stood there for a moment,
staring at the implications that this clutter created. Tomorrow, he thought.
Less than twelve hours away, he would be on his own with no one to share the
joys or sorrows with. No one would ever understand what all of this meant to
him. Sure, Data and Geordi would be here, but they would no more understand
what he was feeling than a child understanding why he couldn’t eat his ice
cream before dinner.

Riker reached down to pull a container up off of the floor when he heard his
door chimes enter the air. Not slowing his movements for an instant he
casually voiced, “Come in.”

The doors slid open at his request. Will stopped when he saw her. His trance,
however, only lasted a couple of seconds and he tore his eyes away from her
form to look behind him for something....anything. Deanna looked down briefly
and folded her hands in front of her. She could tell that he wasn’t in a very
charitable mood tonight. It was what she had expected, but she also knew that
Will would make every effort to cover his true feelings. He would even go so
far as blocking his emotions from her gentle probes along their link.

Nevertheless, it looked like she would have to be the one to talk first. “I
see you’re up to your shoulders in packing as well.” Whatever it was that he
had been looking for, he had found it and was busily inspecting its contents.
He was clearly determined to be more focused on his packing rather than their
conversation or even her presence.

Suddenly, he snapped the lid shut on the container he was holding and put it
aside, surprising her when he actually acknowledged her last statement. “I
thought that I should go ahead and get it done so that my new first officer
could get moved in when he arrives in the morning.”

Deanna relaxed a little now that he had said something. “Very thoughtful,
Commander. I’m sure he’ll like his new quarters,” she said, gesturing at her
surroundings.

Will began to place things in certain piles that he had created. “Well, if
I’m up to my shoulders in packing, you must be over your head.” He stopped
what he as doing and stared at her in disbelief. “Don’t tell me you’re done
already?”

Deanna shrugged and took a few more steps into the room....where she could
without stepping on something that is. She extended her arms slightly to keep
balance as she weaved through the mess. Finally she settled upon a spot that
had been newly cleaned. “I started yesterday so that I could spend
tonight....”

As if suddenly realizing what she was about to say, her voice trailed off.
Will allowed himself to look up and see that her face had drooped wearily and
she was on the verge of tears. He turned his head to the side only to see the
empty vacuum of space in the window. It alone served to remind him even more
of tomorrow. Will decided to help Deanna out and finished her sentence for
her, “Saying goodbye.”
Emotions gripped Deanna’s throat like the teeth of a vole. She hated crying,
but Will was the only person that she felt comfortable crying around.
Swiftly, she reached up and brushed away a lonesome tear that had liberated
itself from her eyes. “I really hate this,” she forced the words out of her
mouth, sounding a little shaky as she did so.

Her words left an unexpected lump in Will’s throat. All of his attention was
now focused on her. That was his weak spot. If a woman - especially Deanna -
started shedding tears, they had his undivided attention. It didn’t matter
what he was feeling anymore. He needed to give Deanna some kind of comfort
and tell her that it was going to be okay, no matter how much he couldn’t
believe his own words. His attempt at a smile looked more like a wince. But
he made no move toward her. He offered her words only.

“I know what you mean. But, hey, there’s a lot to be grateful for. You’re
finally going to get that job at headquarters that you’ve been talking about
for a few months now. Plus you’re going with Beverly, your best friend. Both
of you will be like two peas in a pod in San Francisco.”

Her tears had ceased. He was doing it. He was trying to be comfortable with
the situation when she knew that it was tearing him apart inside. She watched
him watching her. He wanted to know what her reaction would be to his words.
Unfortunately, she would disappoint him. “Actually, I’ll be leaving my best
friend behind.”

Will confronted her gaze for a few seconds, knowing full well the
implications of her words. He began fumbling with his clutter again,
separating things into their appropriate piles. Once again, he started
talking, neglecting her last remark. “I’ll finally be getting my dream post
as captain of the flagship. It took a while, but I finally got here.”

Deanna cut in on his ramblings before he could go any further. “Will,” she
said forcefully, “I didn’t come here to talk about our dream jobs. I know
what’s going to happen tomorrow.” Her voice became slightly louder as she
went on, “ I’m LEAVING tomorrow, Will. That’s what’s going to happen.” Again
she was fighting tears. She didn’t know if she would be able to stop them
this time.

Will halted his packing and lowered his head in resignation, shame, and fear.
“I know,” he uttered softly. “So, we better make this the last time we see
each other because I’m not coming to see you off tomorrow.” He could see the
hurt in her eyes. Her and Beverly’s shuttle would be disembarking early in
the morning before he took command and before Picard left. He knew that was
no excuse, but he was never able to say goodbye to her. Even when they saw
each other for the last time on Betazed when they were looking at that
painting, she had slipped away unnoticed by him. He never saw her leave and
he didn’t intend to this time.

For some reason, Deanna picked up on his thoughts and the expression on her
face cleared up a little. “I understand,” she said cautiously. “But lets
promise to never say goodbye to each other unless it’s for good.”
He gave her a melancholy smile, remembering. “Seems that you’ve always looked
upon good-bye’s in that way. Until next time then?”

Taking a deep breath and gathering her emotions, she returned his smile with
one of her own. She then pursed her lips and plastered all the courage she
could muster onto her face. “Until then, Imzadi.”

Will’s heart literally melted when he heard her use that sacred Betazoid
name. He finally had found the valiance to bore his eyes into hers. He had
faced the Borg and Dominion in combat, almost died several times, been
roughed up by Klingons - why was this so hard? A bitterness that he didn’t
know was still there began to prowl into his consciousness. He was thinking
about the would-have-been relationship with Deanna that didn’t happen after
they left the Briar Patch. For some reason, still unknown to them, they just
couldn’t hang on.

They had never really talked about it, they just seemed to drift away from
each other almost as easily as they had drifted to each other. Despite that,
he felt that one last thing needed to be said. “I guess it just wasn’t meant
to be.”

Deanna felt herself waver under his gaze and the consequence of his words.
But she regained her equilibrium quickly and reluctantly replied, “Apparently
not.” Somehow, those two words triggered something inside Will. It was as if
she had confirmed what he didn’t want to hear and sealed it for good. In all
fairness, she probably had.

With her jaw set determinedly, Deanna studied the acrimonious face
confronting her. Most of what she saw was fear, uncertainty, and anger,
emotions she could well understand. He wasn’t making things any easier.
“Will, don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

Something broke inside of Will. He was convinced that it was his heart. “It’s
hard, Deanna. No matter what,” he snapped.

Deanna was right, she couldn’t stop the tears this time. They flowed freely
from her eyes, but remarkably, her voice remained calm. “Will, will you just
give me a hug and a kiss before I leave?”

Will stared at her refusing to believe that she was about to walk out that
door. “No. I can’t,” he said hoarsely.

Heavyhearted, she slowly took a few steps to his position and hugged him
desperately even though he did nothing to return her affection. When she
lightly kissed him, it was a bittersweet kiss with a tasted of tears. Only
this time, she could swear that some of those tears were his also.

Deanna let him go and hastily made her retreat. He didn’t watch her walk out
of his quarters and out of his life. For him, the only evidence that she had
done so was the sound of the doors as they swished open and closed again.
------------------------------------------------------------
END CHAPTER 1

USS ENTERPRISE E
SHUTTLE BAY 2
2377


“I’ve spoken to Starfleet Command earlier this morning. They send all the
best to the Enterprise’s new captain and its departing one, of course.”
Picard readjusted the strap of his carrier and ran a hand over his bald head
self-consciously. Sighing rather loudly, he admitted, “I shall truly miss
her.”

Riker shifted his eyes from his soon-to-be former captain to the ground. He
kicked at some invisible dirt on the smooth, gray surface of the shuttle bay.
He knew that the captain had hidden a double meaning in his last assertion.
He looked back at Picard, but not directly. “The Enterprise or Beverly?”

Picard didn’t like what Riker was getting at. He and Beverly had never been
given the opportunity to admit their feelings, in a manner of speaking, which
was a huge regret that he’d have to take back to France with him. “Does it
matter anymore?”

Riker was surprised at the remark. That didn’t sound like his captain. Then
again, he had asked himself the same question when Deanna left. Only thing
was, he couldn’t bring himself to answer it. “It always has to you. Once
you’ve stepped foot on this ship, no matter for how long, you can’t forget it
and you miss it like hell if you have to leave. Furthermore, if there’s one
thing I’ve learned in my life it’s that if you ever get the opportunity to
see or meet that one special woman, you can’t help but miss her either.”

Picard smiled and let a nostalgic look spread across his features. “True
enough, I suppose. You know, it’s ionic in a way that I’m a purposeful
student of Shakespeare and in most of his works, the subject of love is
addressed in one way or another. With all the years that I’ve studied it,
you’d think that I’d have learned how to practice it properly.”

Riker chuckled and clapped Picard on the shoulder, “For all practical
purposes, sir, from what I’ve read of Shakespeare, the man’s writings aren’t
exactly the best examples to go by.”

Picard returned Will’s gesture and took a small step back. Pointing a finger
at Riker, he commented, “Quite right. However, I have come to the conclusion
that every man must find out what love truly is for himself. I guess
sometimes you don’t figure it out until it’s too late.”

Riker was unprepared for the rush of sentiment that hit him when he heard the
Captain’s words. Deanna. He couldn’t help but believing that they had still
waited too late. Perhaps if they had tried to be together as soon as the
Enterprise E was launched, or even before that, they could have been married
by now. But, it was no matter now. He knew that it was too late this time.
But, for Picard, time was on his side. “Who knows? It may not be too late.
You will, after all, be on earth with Beverly. You can always make amends.”

“I hope you’re right on this one, Number One. I can only wish the same on you
and the Counselor.” Stealing a look at the shuttle, he saw that the
passengers were boarding and it was about time to shove off. “It’s time for
me to go.”
Riker shifted his weight and forced his stance into a poster of respect.
“Very well, sir. I relieve you, sir.”

Picard mirrored Riker’s stance, “I stand relieved.”

The two men shook hands warmly. “Goodbye and good luck, Will.” He began to
walk off but stopped himself short, turning back around to Riker, “And don’t
you wreck this ship again.”

Riker held his hands up in surrender and smiled, “Not to worry, sir. Deanna’s
not here to take the helm.”

Picard just smiled and turned away, boarding the shuttle. Will watched the
shuttle, even though he couldn’t see the captain - or Jean-Luc. That’s all he
was now...a civilian. Riker still didn’t understand why Picard refused an
Admiral posting. But then, he was sure Picard didn’t understand why he had
turned down all of his offers for captaincy.

The shuttle began to lift off of the floor and it sailed smoothly into the
black space beyond. Finally, he was alone. There was no one left to guide him
anymore. He was to guide others. he only hoped his first officer would be
comforting enough to get him through these first few weeks of hell without
his closest companions. Speaking of his first officer, where in the world was
he?

A movement caught Riker’s eye and he found a dark-haired man standing there,
just watching him. When the man finally realized that he was being watched by
Riker, he flinched slightly and took a step forward, “Excuse me, sir. You are
Captain William Riker, sir?”

Riker studied the man and decided that he’d seen him in the picture files of
the new crew members coming aboard today. Almost immediately it registered in
Will’s mind who this man was, “Yes. You must be Commander Gefin Weller.”

Weller smiled and tilted his head respectfully, his hands behind his back.
“At your service, sir. I’m sorry, sir, but was that Captain Picard who just
boarded that shuttle?”

Riker was already surprised and impressed at how relaxed this man was. He
remembered the first time he was introduced to Picard on the Farpoint
mission. Back then, he was anything but relaxed. Deanna, however, had always
told him that he had a certain air about him that caused others to relax as
well. “It was.”

“He was a great captain,” the new Commander said with an awe in his voice.

Will said nothing, but silently agreed with the man. Riker had been saying
that about Picard from the beginning. But, for some reason, it seemed more
real today. “Mr. Weller, I’ll show you to your quarters and then I’d like to
see you in my Ready Room. Nothing important, just ship business.” Riker
clapped his new first officer on his shoulder, a gesture that he hoped would
speed their friendship along. Will had never seen himself having the kind of
relationship with his first officer like Picard had with him. He hoped to be
more of friends with Weller than a superior. He knew that it might complicate
things a little more, but their was nothing like a solid trust between two
officers....he’d learned that in the Academy. Besides, that’s they way it had
always been with his co-workers. It was his unique style that Picard and
Deanna had both praised.

“Yes, sir,” Gefin said with a serene smile and followed his captain out of
the bay.“I’ve spoken to Starfleet Command earlier this morning. They send all
the best to the Enterprise’s new captain and its departing one, of course.”
Picard readjusted the strap of his carrier and ran a hand over his bald head
self-consciously. Sighing rather loudly, he admitted, “I shall truly miss
her.”

Riker shifted his eyes from his soon-to-be former captain to the ground. He
kicked at some invisible dirt on the smooth, gray surface of the shuttle bay.
He knew that the captain had hidden a double meaning in his last assertion.
He looked back at Picard, but not directly. “The Enterprise or Beverly?”

Picard didn’t like what Riker was getting at. He and Beverly had never been
given the opportunity to admit their feelings, in a manner of speaking, which
was a huge regret that he’d have to take back to France with him. “Does it
matter anymore?”

Riker was surprised at the remark. That didn’t sound like his captain. Then
again, he had asked himself the same question when Deanna left. Only thing
was, he couldn’t bring himself to answer it. “It always has to you. Once
you’ve stepped foot on this ship, no matter for how long, you can’t forget it
and you miss it like hell if you have to leave. Furthermore, if there’s one
thing I’ve learned in my life it’s that if you ever get the opportunity to
see or meet that one special woman, you can’t help but miss her either.”

Picard smiled and let a nostalgic look spread across his features. “True
enough, I suppose. You know, it’s ionic in a way that I’m a purposeful
student of Shakespeare and in most of his works, the subject of love is
addressed in one way or another. With all the years that I’ve studied it,
you’d think that I’d have learned how to practice it properly.”

Riker chuckled and clapped Picard on the shoulder, “For all practical
purposes, sir, from what I’ve read of Shakespeare, the man’s writings aren’t
exactly the best examples to go by.”

Picard returned Will’s gesture and took a small step back. Pointing a finger
at Riker, he commented, “Quite right. However, I have come to the conclusion
that every man must find out what love truly is for himself. I guess
sometimes you don’t figure it out until it’s too late.”

Riker was unprepared for the rush of sentiment that hit him when he heard the
Captain’s words. Deanna. He couldn’t help but believing that they had still
waited too late. Perhaps if they had tried to be together as soon as the
Enterprise E was launched, or even before that, they could have been married
by now. But, it was no matter now. He knew that it was too late this time.
But, for Picard, time was on his side. “Who knows? It may not be too late.
You will, after all, be on earth with Beverly. You can always make amends.”

“I hope you’re right on this one, Number One. I can only wish the same on you
and the Counselor.” Stealing a look at the shuttle, he saw that the
passengers were boarding and it was about time to shove off. “It’s time for
me to go.”
Riker shifted his weight and forced his stance into a poster of respect.
“Very well, sir. I relieve you, sir.”

Picard mirrored Riker’s stance, “I stand relieved.”

The two men shook hands warmly. “Goodbye and good luck, Will.” He began to
walk off but stopped himself short, turning back around to Riker, “And don’t
you wreck this ship again.”

Riker held his hands up in surrender and smiled, “Not to worry, sir. Deanna’s
not here to take the helm.”

Picard just smiled and turned away, boarding the shuttle. Will watched the
shuttle, even though he couldn’t see the captain - or Jean-Luc. That’s all he
was now...a civilian. Riker still didn’t understand why Picard refused an
Admiral posting. But then, he was sure Picard didn’t understand why he had
turned down all of his offers for captaincy.

The shuttle began to lift off of the floor and it sailed smoothly into the
black space beyond. Finally, he was alone. There was no one left to guide him
anymore. He was to guide others. he only hoped his first officer would be
comforting enough to get him through these first few weeks of hell without
his closest companions. Speaking of his first officer, where in the world was
he?

A movement caught Riker’s eye and he found a dark-haired man standing there,
just watching him. When the man finally realized that he was being watched by
Riker, he flinched slightly and took a step forward, “Excuse me, sir. You are
Captain William Riker, sir?”

Riker studied the man and decided that he’d seen him in the picture files of
the new crew members coming aboard today. Almost immediately it registered in
Will’s mind who this man was, “Yes. You must be Commander Gefin Weller.”

Weller smiled and tilted his head respectfully, his hands behind his back.
“At your service, sir. I’m sorry, sir, but was that Captain Picard who just
boarded that shuttle?”

Riker was already surprised and impressed at how relaxed this man was. He
remembered the first time he was introduced to Picard on the Farpoint
mission. Back then, he was anything but relaxed. Deanna, however, had always
told him that he had a certain air about him that caused others to relax as
well. “It was.”

“He was a great captain,” the new Commander said with an awe in his voice.

Will said nothing, but silently agreed with the man. Riker had been saying
that about Picard from the beginning. But, for some reason, it seemed more
real today. “Mr. Weller, I’ll show you to your quarters and then I’d like to
see you in my Ready Room. Nothing important, just ship business.” Riker
clapped his new first officer on his shoulder, a gesture that he hoped would
speed their friendship along. Will had never seen himself having the kind of
relationship with his first officer like Picard had with him. He hoped to be
more of friends with Weller than a superior. He knew that it might complicate
things a little more, but their was nothing like a solid trust between two
officers....he’d learned that in the Academy. Besides, that’s they way it had
always been with his co-workers. It was his unique style that Picard and
Deanna had both praised.

“Yes, sir,” Gefin said with a serene smile and followed his captain out of
the bay.

USS TAHOMA
COURSE FOR EARTH
2377


Deanna's eyes were slowly becoming blurred as she continued staring at the
streaking stars going by out the window. She was so tired after an emotional
night, fretting about Will and then getting up so early to board the shuttle.
Her eyelids began to shut and she did nothing to stop them. The transition
from a ship to earth was going to be hard enough so a little sleep could only
help her right now.

"Deanna?" she jerked her head up at the sound of her name. It was Beverly who
had just sat down next to her. "I'm sorry, Deanna. I didn't mean to wake you.
I got us some hot chocolate....something to help ease the nerves so to speak."

Deanna smiled appreciatively and reached for the steaming mug that Beverly
offered her. "Thank you. You shouldn't be nervous you know, you've done this
once before."

"True," Beverly said between sips, "but I hadn't grown as close to everyone
as I have this time. It makes it a little harder. Plus there's the fact that
Jean-Luc had the most pathetic look on his face this morning when he came to
see us off. Which reminds me, why didn't I see Will?

Deanna lowered her mug and looked down, "He and I said good-bye last night.
It's a thing we do...actually we didn't say good-bye. It was more like until
next time. But I have a feeling that it will be a very long time before I see
him again."

"Well, I think you two are idiots."

"Excuse me?" Deanna said incredulously.

Beverly gawked and rolled her eyes, "Deanna, you two beat around the bush
more than any other couple I've seen. It's torture sometimes having to watch
you two."

"Then don't watch us," was Deanna's only reply.

Beverly snorted derisively, "Yea, not likely now, is it?"

Beverly noted the hurt expression that steeled across Deanna's face. It was
what she was hoping for. She hated having to accomplish her goals the hard
way, but whatever works.....

"That was cold Beverly," Deanna said brusquely. "Nothing has ever hurt more
in my life than leaving Will behind. Other than my father's death that is."

"Then why did you?" Beverly said softly.

Deanna sat a little more stiffly in her seat and cleared her throat. Taking
another sip of her drink, she found herself in a sudden quandary. "Because,
despite how much we care for each other, we just couldn't make it work.
Frankly, I don't think Will's ready to settle down yet."

"Ah," Beverly said with a hint of smile in her voice, "so it was all his
fault then?"

Deanna scowled, more at herself than Beverly. "I don't know," Deanna began
cautiously, "I mean...I guess I didn't make it exactly easy either. Maybe I
teased him one too many times and he finally gave up."

Beverly smirked, "Not from what you told me of when you first met. He still
pursued you after a relentless game of hard to get that you poured on. I'm
surprised the man didn't give up back then. And you're worried about a little
teasing? Please. Will Riker loves it and you know it."

Deanna sighed, "I don't know Bev. Maybe it's both of us. But whatever
happened, it was enough."

Beverly leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, "I guess we're just two
dumb women who don't know a good thing when we have it."

Deanna gave Beverly a wan smile, "Now who's lamenting over lost love? You and
Jean-Luc are just as bad. At least Will and I attempted a relationship. You
two just ignore each other."

Beverly set her hot drink in a cup holder and folded her hands in her lap,
"Lets get some shut eye before we get to earth, okay?"

Deanna stared at Beverly in disbelief, "You are awful...just awful. Fine, if
you don't want to talk about it, I'll leave you alone."

Deanna looked back out of the window to the stars, expecting to hear a reply
from Beverly, but all she heard were the sounds of soft snores.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
END CHAPTER 2

Chapter 3

USS ENTERPRISE E
LOUNGE
2377

The Enterprise's lounge was unusually quiet this evening. It was the first
time he had stepped foot in it since his promotion to captain. As he walked
through the doors he noticed a few heads turning in his direction. He felt
like he was growing two heads. The faces staring at him had smiles on their
faces, nonetheless, it was still a little awkward.

In reality, he could understand their curious glances, for Captain Jean-Luc
Picard would hardly ever show here. But, this was the one place where he
could come and relax, have a drink, maybe catch a conversation with a
beautiful woman. Most of all he came here to think. The view out of the
windows seemed to inspire the most wondrous conversations with yourself
inside your head.

He scanned the room, looking for an empty table. Commander Weller caught his
eye, however, and he rested his gaze on the young man. He was sitting alone,
nursing a drink, obviously doing some thinking of his own. Will decided to
offer his company and get to know the man better. Their conversation in his
ready room earlier had been strictly business and very rushed.

"Excuse me, Commander. I hope I'm not intruding," Will volunteered.

Weller smiled without looking at Will and set his glass on the table in front
of him. "You've been looking at me for nearly an entire minute, Captain. But
no harm done. Please, have seat."

Will could literally feel the room temperature growing warmer. "Sorry about
that. I guess I'm out of practice when it comes to politeness around
Betazoids."

Gefin chuckled lightly and finally turned to face Will. "Come now Captain,
Deanna's not been gone even a full day."

Will smiled at the man's good humor. He had the feeling that he and Weller
were going to develop a friendship easily. "Deanna. You know her so well that
you're now on a first name basis?"

Weller's face sobered a bit, noting his captain's confusion. "Deanna and I
grew up together, sir. I am a few years younger, but that didn't stop our
friendship from blossoming," he said half joking.

Will now had a full smile plastered on his face. "Let me guess, you chased
her around for several months before she would even give you the time of day?"

Gefin laughed outright, "It sounds like someone knows her routine well."

"You had to be grades behind her in school though...I could understand that."

The XO shifted in his chair and gulped down the rest of the liquid contained
in his glass. "Actually, something I left out of my file is that I was well
ahead of my classmates academically. I was in Deanna's grade and even
attended the University when she did before finally realizing that Starfleet
was calling me."

Will nodded and studied the man before him. Perhaps he had a little more on
his hands than he had bargained for. "But you were younger and
less...experienced."

"I was, in both categories. Her mother hated me. I used to come to her house
after school sometimes to either study or take her on a walk. Her mother
would always answer the door...not their butler guy - I never knew his
name...and she would glare at me with her hands on her hips and yell 'How
dare you, a low citizen of Betazed, step foot on the property of the fifth
house of Betazed! Now leave before I call the authorities and have you
arrested!'"

Both men were rolling with laughter, picturing Lwaxana Troi doing such a
thing. Will caught his breath, "Sounds like you had just as much luck as I
had. She answered the door every time I called on Deanna, and then either
attempted to mess with my mind, or she threw me off the doorstep the last
time."

Will suddenly realized that he was telling almost a stranger about his
relationship with the one person he'd ever loved. What was worse, is that
Weller was talking about Deanna the same way.

Weller fixed him with a serious and pointed gaze. "Don't worry, Captain. I
never loved her. I have nothing but the deepest respect for her. She's
accomplished already more than what most Betazoids do in a lifetime. She's a
leader on Betazed because of her willingness to let go of her duties there
and come out here," Gefin gestured to the stars in the window. "It was a
catalyst for my decision. I wasn't happy the way my life was going. On
Betazed, in the low society I guess you could say, I would've had to pick up
a trade...probably the family's which was gardening. They kept all of those
nice plants and trees you see lining the streets and parks looking proper and
well cared for. When Deanna left, a future ruler of the fifth house, people
paid attention. Something happened...and it was good. Otherwise, I'd probably
be pulling weeds right now."

Will smiled yet again, appalled at this man's story. It made him look at
Betazed and Deanna in a whole new perspective. "I'm really proud of Deanna.
I've never told her that before though."

"She knows. If I can feel your pride now, which I can, I'm sure she had no
trouble with it."

Will sighed and took the first sip of his drink that a waitress had set in
front of him some time during Gefin's story. "I find myself wishing she was
here right now to tell her that. She came from a huge comfort zone to an
insecure lifestyle, a dangerous one in the least. When I met her, she still
followed her mother's demands to the letter, whether she liked it or not. She
didn't even know how to hold a phaser right. I was surprised more than anyone
that she had the courage to stay with that Sindareen when she was taken
hostage. I remember covering that museum and when she was hauled out of the
building, her yes locked with mine and I've never seen someone so scared in
all my life. She was even ready to give her life in order to stop the
Sindareen from getting away with their plans."

Gefin let a respectful smile come over his lips and he looked back down into
is empty glass. "Sounds to me like you need to go get her."

"What?" Will asked, curious as to the man's intention.

Weller looked up and addressed his superior fully. "I said, sounds to me like
you need to get her and bring her back here before you drive yourself crazy.
A lot of men have liked her over the years, but I've never heard someone talk
about her with as much admiration as you, sir. Besides, you've been thinking
about her nonstop all day long."

"I've heard someone talk like that about her. You...just a minute ago. You
were going on about how she inspired you to join Starfleet. Now that's
admiration."

Gefin laughed briefly and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table.
"Admiration, yes. Admiration with love attached to it...no. You know,
Captain, on Betazed we don't beat around the bush with our romances. If a
woman on Betazed heard you talking like you just did about Deanna, she'd have
you married by now. One thing that's good about Betazed that I think you
cowboys from earth could learn, is that we don't look past the simple, yet
important things in life to satisfy the more superficial needs we have. I
only joined Starfleet because I hadn't met that one special woman yet.
Otherwise, I would have stayed and raised a family. We teach that our souls
need to be satisfied above all else...even a career. Not to do so would mean
a life of misery. We would wrestle with our souls forever until they were
complete. On Betazed, if you weren't meant to marry, you would find a special
nitch in society that would fulfill you. Or if you were to marry, you'd find
your Imzadi."

Weller studied the awe expression on Will's face and wrinkled his brows. "You
know about, Imzadi don't you, sir?"

Will nodded absently and barely whispered, "Deanna....Deanna and I...." he
trailed off, knowing his first officer would soon enough find out the truth.

"Ah," he finally said. "Rabeem." He paused for a moment and then said, "I
guess you're still a cowboy."

Will looked at him and then at the stars. "I want her to know that I'm proud
of her. I want to tell her."

"You can always send a message over the commlink. She'd get it in a couple of
days."

"No, you don't understand," Will said with frustration in his voice, "I need
to TELL her."

"I'm sure Starfleet won't mind if you leave on an away mission," Weller
suggested under his breath. "I could hold down the fort for a few days."

Will looked at him incredulously, "I was just promoted this morning, you
haven't even seen half the ship and if they ever found out where I really am,
they'd have my neck. Besides, Deanna's made up her mind. Her soul-searching
is over."

Gefin smiled, "So, your not going for soul-searching, you're going to tell
her how proud you are of her. Then you can work your way up from there."

Will stood like a man on a mission. He slapped his new first officer on the
back, "I don't know why the hell I just told you everything I did, having
only known you for a few hours, but thanks just the same. You sure you can
handle things here?"

Gefin smiled up at his captain like he'd just been handed a new toy. "Of
course. Although my previous captain didn't ever let me take command of the
bridge...even when he was just in his ready room. But I'm sure it'll be okay."

Will just stared at him blankly, "You're kidding right?"

Gefin laughed, "You don't think I made it here with a track record like that
do you? I'll handle everything here and you go tell Deanna how proud you are."

Will smiled, nodded his thanks to Weller and hurried out of the door. It
would be another three days before he reached earth. He could think of what
to say to her then. Will stopped by his quarters to gather his necessities
and send a note to Data and Geordi about his impending absence. He wanted
them to keep an eye on Gefin to make sure he learned the ropes of Enterprise
protocol.

The Enterprise would stop by Alpha-Sigma 6 in just a few minutes to restock
on supplies. He'd catch a transport there back to earth. Will smiled at the
thought....Deanna would sure be surprised when she saw him. Grabbing his
carrier, he rushed out of the door, his soul already feeling a little better.
-------------------------------------------------------------
END CHAPTER 3

Chapter 4

EARTH - SAN FRANCISCO
2377

Finding where Deanna and Beverly were staying wasn't that difficult for him.
Beverly had left her address with Picard before he'd left. Jean-Luc had
passed it on to him in a later transmission, at Will's request of course.
Deanna hadn't bothered revealing where she would be staying, but Beverly
would know.

It had been a long three days traveling on a cramped transport, avoiding
advances by beautiful women, and eating some of the worst food the galaxy had
to offer along the way. Worst of all, he still had no idea what to say to
Deanna. He wasn't sure whether to lay it all on the line at first, or wait a
while and work up to it.

Will kicked a loose stone on the sidewalk overlooking the bay. It was just
after sunset and the moon's reflection on the water cast a surreal glow about
the bay area. A gentle wind ruffled his hair a bit as he leaned on the rail
separating him from the water. Well, he thought, might as well hunt down
Beverly and find out where Deanna was hiding.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"You're getting home awfully late tonight." Beverly was stirring a homemade
cake mix in a huge bowl...no doubt it was chocolate.

Deanna stopped and looked at her friend carefully before plopping down on the
couch. "Are you cooking?"

Beverly turned around, shocked at the doubt in the counselor's voice, "Why?
Don't you think I can cook? I used to all the time before I went romping
through the stars on a starship. Jack loved my cakes, thank you very much."

Deanna sighed and closed her eyes. Beverly was quick to notice Deanna's lack
of enthusiasm for the evening. "Deanna, are you okay? You don't look good."

Troi opened her eyes and stood, walking to Beverly's position. She dipped her
finger in the cake batter and tasted it, "Not bad. I'm fine, Bev. I just had
a horrible day at the office. My coordinator just quit, I had two patients
who were not cooperative, and I have a bucketload of decisions to make by the
week's end."

"Sounds like you could use a break. I tell you what, you go on a walk and
I'll have this cake done and iced up by the time you get back. Even the head
of Starfleet Psychology needs to get away sometimes."

Deanna paced back and forth, growing restless, "I don't know, Bev. I really
do have an awful lot of work to do."

Beverly put down the bowl and pointed at the door, "Lets put it this way, you
are going to drive me crazy if yo don't leave, you're going to drive yourself
crazy, and three - it's doctor's orders. And I mean that," Beverly quickly
added before Deanna could protest.

Deanna let out a frustrated breath and declined, "Fine, I'll go. But you
better have that cake done when I get back."

Beverly smiled, "I promise. Now go."
------------------------------------------------------------
Will continued to walk down the bayside into a small complex of apartments.
They were used for Starfleet personnel who worked at headquarters full time.
He found the building that Beverly was staying in and started to go up the
steps to the front door. He stopped when he saw a woman open the door -
Deanna. So she was staying here too, he thought. Quickly he shielded his mind
so that she would have a harder time sensing him and he stepped behind a
large bush so she wouldn't see him.

He wanted to sneak up on her when she wasn't expecting it. He watched her
stop right in front of the bush and scrunch her brows like she was
concentrating on something. After a few seconds, she shook it off and
continued walking. Will let out a relieved breath. He waited until she
rounded the corner before he began to follow her. Will knew that she had a
sixth sense when it came to people so he was careful to stay a good distance
back.

A good ten minutes went by and Deanna settled on a park bench beside the very
same railing he had rested on earlier. She was facing the bay, her back to
him. He watched her for a few minutes, waiting to feel for the right time to
reveal his presence. He could see Deanna lean back and lift her eyes to the
sky, no doubt looking at the stars. Will imagined that she missed them. But
not just a couple minutes later, she buried her face in her hands. He saw her
shoulders shaking - she was crying. That broke his heart and this time he
didn't wait for the right time, he just went to her.

Deanna was so buried in her own emotions, she didn't even sense Will sneak up
behind her. She felt two large hands clasp over her shoulders and they began
to rub and ease the knots in her muscles. It felt absolutely fantastic. Only
one person in the universe massaged her shoulders like this and that was -
Will! Deanna snapped her head around and stood abruptly.

There he was, tall, dark, and handsome as ever. Deanna realized that she must
have looked awful at that moment. Her hair was all messed up from the wind,
her face was probably dripping wet from the tears she had just cried. She
just stood there looking at her best friend, waiting for him to explain why
he was standing there, not more than five feet from her when he was supposed
to be dozens of light years away.

She heard his voice, soft and gentle float through the air. "I never got to
tell you how proud I am of you before you left."

"What?" she said in a shaky voice. "You came all the way back here to tell me
that?"

Will smiled a shrugged his shoulders, "Yea, I guess I did."

Deanna let out a sniff and another tear rolled down her cheek. She couldn't
stand it any longer. She ran around the bench and practically jumped on him
with biggest hug he'd ever had. It was a tender hug, however, "I'm so glad
you did," she whispered in his ear.

Will wrapped his big arms around her and held her close. "You don't know how
much I missed you."

Deanna laughed through her tears and she loosened herself from his grip.
Wiping her eyes, she sat back down on the bench. Will joined her and they sat
there just watching the moon dance on the water. Deanna cleared her throat,
testing her voice before she spoke, "So, Will, why did you really come here?"

Will took her hand and held it in both of his. "I wanted to tell you how
proud I am of you. My first officer and I were talking the other day about
Betazed and stuff. Well, needless to say, you came up in the conversation. He
was telling me how you inspired his career and how you started this movement
on Betazed when you left. Actually, it surprised me that you two knew each
other."

Deanna's curiosity set in, "Who is it?"

"Gefin Weller. He said that he followed you around a lot. He was a few years
younger than you."

Deanna laughed out loud, "Gefin is your first officer? I can only imagine
what that's like."

"Hey, he's a very nice gentleman. It was interesting to listen to him talk.
Besides, I owe it to him for me being able to come here. I'm on an away
mission as we speak."

Deanna looked at Will incredulously, "You mean to tell me Starfleet has no
idea that you're here?"

"Nope," he answered. "But I had to come. I had to tell you, and I want you to
come back."

Deanna lowered her head and pulled her hand away from Will's. "I'm sorry,
Will, but I can't go back. My life is here now. As much as I miss you and the
Enterprise, I just can't do it....unless there was a very important reason
for me to do so." She paused for a moment looking at him, "Is there?"

Will couldn't respond. There was no reason other than the fact that he missed
her like crazy and that he loved her too much to let her go. He had to tell
her that, she had to know. "No, I guess there isn't."

The pain and sorrow was evident in his voice. She could feel his regret and
it caused her to feel the same way. Deanna was extremely disappointed. She
wanted him to give her a good reason to go back...to get her away from here.
But she couldn't go running back home with every problem that came her way.

Will sat there kicking himself for not telling her what his soul needed.
Maybe he was rushing it tonight. They both needed to warm up to it. "Deanna,
why were you crying?"

Deanna hid her eyes from him as if ashamed, "I, uh, I just have a lot of
things going on right now that are kind of overwhelming me."

Will put his arms around her and she quickly burried her head in his
shoulder. He felt her shaking again. "Sshhh. Everything is going to turn out
okay. I know that you can handle everything that life here throws at you.
That's why I'm so proud of you. I remember a woman who held her own against a
hostile Sindareen once. I heard about a woman who stood up to her overbearing
mother and left a comfortable home and lifestyle to join Starfleet and give
up all she had ever known. I remember a woman who battled the Borg and was
held on a Romulan ship saving the lives of others. To tell you the truth, I
am in awe of that woman and I've never admired anyone more."

Will was sure that the front of his jacket was soaked from her tears, but he
didn't care. After a minute or two, Deanna calmed down and she could feel the
love and admiration coming from the man holding her. Deanna lifted her head
from his shoulder and kissed him on the side of his neck. "Thank you, Imzadi.
You always know what to say. You're right. If I can handle all of that, then
I should have no problem handling the smaller things here. It doesn't seem so
overwhelming anymore."

Will kissed her on the forehead, "What are best friends for? Well, I've got
to find a place to stay for the night and it is getting late. Maybe we can
talk again tomorrow?"

Deanna smiled, "I would like that. But don't bother looking for a place to
stay. Beverly and I can make room for you. Plus, there will be a chocolate
cake waiting for us when we get back."

Will laughed, "Well, I couldn't miss the cake now could I?"

Deanna grabbed his hand and together they walked back to the apartment. The
counselor pondered why Will hadn't persisted on her coming back to the
Enterprise with him. He usually didn't give up so easily. She had the
distinct feeling that he wasn't done working on her yet.
------------------------------------------------------
END CHAPTER 4

Chapter 5

EARTH
FRANCE
2377

Will approached the Picard estate in LaBarre, France. It wasn't often that he
sought advice from his former captain, but this time he wasn't sure of what
to do. He knew that he loved Deanna and he knew that she cared for him as
well. But he also knew that no matter how much he pleaded with her, she was
not going to return to the Enterprise with him. Deanna was right when she
said that she had a life here on earth now. Yes, he had worked hard to obtain
his position on the Enterprise, but she had worked equally as hard to get the
head job of Starfleet Psychology. He loved her too much to pull her away from
what she had worked so hard for. That was the problem. If they were going to
be together, one of them was going to have to give up their life and change
it completely for the other person.

He knocked on the door of the large house and waited. A few seconds later,
Jean-Luc answered the door and froze when he saw Will. "What in God's name
are you doing here?"

Will smiled nervously, "I'm on an away mission."

Picard hesitated and then opened the door wider allowing Will access to the
inside of his house. "Away mission, huh? Clever. Surely you came here for a
better reason than that."

Riker sat down and accepted the drink that Picard gave him. "I came here to
see Deanna. She's not going back with me."

Picard wrinkled his brows and sat down gingerly, studying Riker. He took a
sip of his tea, "Did you really expect her to?"

Riker shrugged, "I don't know. She's always been independent like that, but I
could have sworn that she didn't want to leave the Enterprise when she did."

Picard thought for a minute, "Maybe you're imagining things, Will. Your
dream has always been to command a starship. What about Deanna's dream? Do
you even know what that is?"

Will was shocked. He really never had asked her. They had always talked about
him and what he wanted. He couldn't remember one instance in which she had
told him what her dream was. When Will didn't answer, Picard smiled to
himself. "Will, just like you need to change by commanding the Enterprise,
Deanna needs to change as well. That's how we grow. Think of it like a
college graduate still living at home. He's 25 years old, not married, and
still living off of his parents like a teenager would. Now, will he grow and
learn the things he needs to support himself and a family? Only when you
leave and make a life of your own do you learn and grow. Now think of the
Enterprise as a home. You are doing well there. You learned all that you
needed to in order to become Captain. However, Deanna wasn't going anywhere.
The only way for her to grow was...." he trailed off, letting Will finish.

"For her to leave the Enterprise," Will said slowly.

Picard raised his cup to Will, "Now you're catching on. Of course she didn't
want to leave. All of her friends were there, her extended family. She was
used to life on a starship and she knew how to handle situations and problems
there brilliantly. Now that she's left for an entirely new job, life,
friendships, she's unsure of herself. But it's only natural. To tell you the
truth, I was scared out of my mind coming back here. It will be almost 40
years since I've lived planetside. Quite frankly, I'm having a hard time
adjusting. But, it's time for me to settle down."

Will nodded absently, eagerly taking in what Picard had to offer. "I love her
Jean-Luc. She wants her life here and mine is in the stars. I finally got the
flagship under my command and she has to go off on the quest of the rest of
her life. This.....change is a lot harder than I expected it to be. I'm going
to be miserable without her."

Picard stood and walked to a window facing the vineyards. "It sounds to me
like you need to decide which woman you love most - Deanna or the
Enterprise."

Will sat there for a couple of minutes without saying a word. "I guess I need
to grow some more. What do you think, sir?"

Picard turned to face Will, "I think you need to hurry up and make a decision
before Starfleet finds you and makes up your mind for you. You're absolutely
crazy coming here, you know that don't you?"

Will smiled and stood, "I've been a risk taker all my life."

Picard shook his head in mock disgust, "Will, one piece of advice, don't ever
leave your first officer of no more than a day to command your ship for
several days. You'll be lucky if it's still in one piece when you get back."

"Who says I'm going back?"

"Deanna will, I imagine," Picard chuckled.

Will shrugged, "If she wants me to, I'll go back, but I don't intend to leave
without giving a good fight. Thank you, sir."

Picard acknowledged Riker's thanks and let him out the door.
---------------------------------------------------------------
EARTH
SAN FRANCISCO
2377

"Will!" Beverly threw her arms around Riker's neck and squeezed hard. "Deanna
told me that you had come here!" Will had to pry the doctor off of him in
order to speak.

"I don't think you've ever been this happy to see me, Bev."

Beverly took a step back and dropped her hands to her sides, "I still haven't
been, this is about Deanna."

"Figures," Will said as he walked into their apartment. "Is Deanna here?"

Beverly followed Will into the living room, "She's at the office. Too bad I
missed you last night...you know those medical emergencies can get pretty
ugly. One of my patients went into cardiac arrest and we barely saved him.
Where are you staying, Will?"

Will laughed, "Well, I was staying here until I found out that two cats had
taken over the place."

Beverly shook her head and laughed to herself, "Will, not all cats are as
mean as you claim Spot was."

Will frowned, "Face it, Bev, I don't like cats. Besides, I'm allergic to
them. They make me sneeze and stuff."

Beverly laughed, "The great Will Riker is allergic to cats? You know they
have medicine now that can prevent allergies...or are you still living in the
dark ages?"

Will rested his head on the back of the couch, "It's not like I have my own
cat, Beverly. I've never had any reason to take allergy medicine."

Beverly sighed, "Okay, fine, we'll drop it. Cake?"

Will held up a hand, "No thanks. So, tell me why you're so happy I'm here?"

Beverly sat down and stuffed a forkful of chocolate cake into her mouth,
"She's been driving me crazy, Will. You've got to settle things with her
before you leave. She's been moping around ever since we left...I've even
caught her crying a couple of times. I'm really worried about her, Will. But
I think that you are just the medicine she needs."

Will spread his hands, "What do you want me to do. Our lives are light years
apart. Everything I've always wanted is flying amongst the stars and....I
don't even know what she wants. She's never told me before."

Beverly leaned back and set her cake down, "I'll tell you what she wants. She
wants a husband and a family that she can call her own. She was raised in a
very family oriented environment. Yes, she lost a father, but her life was
very structured and she was raised properly like any little girl on Betazed
is. One thing that I've found is that no matter how you were raised, a little
part of that lifestyle sticks with you well into adulthood. You may go on to
a different life, but the longings are still there. Take you for example. You
practically raised yourself and you shied away from relationships because you
never had an example of a good, solid relationship in your life. Isn't that
the way you live now? Independent of others, being careful not to get too
deeply involved in a relationship...even your friendships are that way. When
you were a kid, either through fatherly influence or forced circumstances,
you were taught the life of adventure and unstable situations. Deanna's the
opposite. But she still thrives on what she was taught as a kid....she's just
hiding it real well right now."

Will still held his head back on the couch, "And you're saying that her dream
has always been what she was taught on Betazed?" Her soul, Will thought.

Beverly nodded, "I think that indirectly she wants those things. But, she's
making a good life for herself here and it would be a shame for her to quit.
She's really good at what she does, Will. She's already managed to shape up
the psychology department in the few days we've been here. And if you've met
the people she has to deal with - that's no easy task."

"I know," Will said. "I'm really proud of her for doing so well. I don't want
to hold her back, she needs to grow and become the person she was born to be."

Beverly regarded Riker for a few minutes and then questioned, "Are you
willing to change your life for her?"

Riker raised his head and looked at her, "Don't push me, Bev. I've been
wrestling with that question for several days now. I mean, I would have to
give up the Enterprise and move here, live on soil beneath my feet, have a
normal house with trees and plants growing outside. Doesn't it sound a little
boring?"

"Not if you stop wrestling with yourself. Deanna doesn't seem to mind. I
think it reminds her a little of home. I'm finding it hard to live a more
relaxed life here, so is Deanna. Who knows? I may not be here forever. I'd
like to get back in space sometime down the road... I need a break right now.
But that's me."

Will paused, "You think Starfleet could find a not-so-boring job for me here?"

Beverly smiled, "I'm sure something could be worked out. But you better talk
it over with Deanna first."

Will stood and walked to the door, "I intend to. I'll be in her office."
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END CHAPTER 5

Chapter 6

STARFLEET HEADQUARTERS
PSYCHOLOGY DIVISION
2377

Counselor Deanna Troi felt like lashing out with her fists. This was the
third time that she had lost a Starfleet patient. Why wouldn't the medical
department listen to her opinion? It made her feel like a failure to herself
and to her position. On the Enterprise, Beverly would have urged her to
continue as would have Captain Picard.

She had been seeing several mental patients who had lingering effects from
the war with the Dominion. These people had seen family members executed in
front of them, they'd seen their homes destroyed, and their children beaten
to death. These were all Starfleet officers. They were officers who had lost
best friends in fights and eventually, they lost themselves.

Deanna was outraged the first time when just three failed attempts to get
through to these helpless people triggered Command to send them to an insane
asylum. Of course, these asylums were very nice, orderly, clean, but
nonetheless, it took away their lives even more so than the war. Because she
was supposedly the leading psychologist in Starfleet, all or most of these
difficult cases had been assigned to her. But Starfleet was treating these
people like machinery...throwing it away because it is defective.

Deanna heard her door chime and she struggled to center herself before
answering. "Come in," she requested.

The man who walked in noticed the fake smile she had put on for show, but he
didn't bother to point it out. "Counselor Troi, you wanted to see me?"

Deanna took a deep breath and motioned for Admiral Spiller to take a seat. He
generously did. "Admiral," Deanna stayed on her feet for emphasis, "You are
the one who recommended me for this position. Correct?"

The admiral eyed her skeptically, "I did."

"Then you must trust me a great deal to handle the kind of cases we have to
deal with here at headquarters. Well, sir, I am doing the best job I can to
do just that. But, it seems that Starfleet has a different objective in mind.
Admiral Spiller, I cannot do my job if they continue to interfere with my
methods like they have for the last week."

Spiller put his hands on his knees and stood, "Perhaps your methods are not
in agreement with Starfleets. We do things differently here and you have to
learn how it's done. I take it you are referring to our war victims that you
have been counseling?"

Deanna's cheeks began to flush slightly from irritation. "Those...war
victims...are hurting people who need someone to depend on right now. They've
practically lost their entire lives. It's only natural that they be mentally
unstable right now. Most of them are the younger, less experienced officers
who had only seem that kind of action in a holodeck simulation. Some of them
were still in their first year at the Academy when they had to go fight hand
to hand with a Jem Hadar soldier. Putting them in an asylum will only worsen
their condition."

The admiral appeared to be thinking for a few moments. Perhaps she had
finally found someone who would make sense of her argument. "You feel that
you can bring these officers out of their predicament eventually so that they
can return to active duty?"

Deanna breathed a sigh of relief, "Yes, sir. It's only a matter of time."

"Starfleet disagrees. We can't have a reputation of having previously insane
people working for us. What if alter circumstance triggers their emotions
again. Are they going to turn and run to the nearest corner like children? As
much as I hate it, we can't risk it. To put them back on duty could even
jeopardize other people's lives."

Deanna was pacing, desperately trying not to lose her temper in front of the
admiral. "Then, they can be healed and go on to lead a civilian life. The
point is, Admiral, these people need to be healed and puting them in an
asylum is a cold way of doing it. I can help these people. It takes more than
three sessions sometimes to even get them to talk."

"We can't have former and insane Starfleet officers roaming the streets,
Counselor. Starfleet won't allow it. If they aren't bright enough to make
some progress within the first three sessions, they go. That's the way it is
and the way it will be. I don't want to here anymore complaints about it."

Deanna voice was shaken and extremely angered, "What you are doing is wrong."

The admiral made a move to leave, "I'm just following orders. And I suggest
that you learn to follow them, or you'll have to leave as well."

Deanna watched him exit and at the same time Will Riker walked through the
door. Will noted the angry expression on the admiral's face and saw the same
on Deanna's. "Something happen?" he asked.

Deanna didn't say anything. Instead, she walked to her window and looked out,
watching all of the different people go on about their day below.

"Will? Do you remember when Captain Picard was talking about how concerned he
was during the Briar Patch mission that something was wrong with Starfleet?"

Will walked over to her desk and perched himself on the edge, "Yes. He
thought that Command was corrupting the Federation."

Deanna turned back and looked at him. What Will see in her eyes almost made
his flesh crawl. They held a sincerity that he rarely saw in her eyes. "I
think he had a good right to be concerned."

This made Will stand up straight, "Why do you say that?"

Deanna sat down in her desk chair and swiveled it slightly back and forth.
"I've been battling with Command for the past week, nonstop. they've assigned
some difficult mental cases to me but only give me three sessions to do
anything with the patients. If Starfleet isn't satisfied with the progress
made, they send the patients to an inane asylum. I've already lost five
patients to that system, Will. They'll never be able to have a normal life or
even be able to get back on track."

"Have you appealed ot the Counsel?"

"I've tried everything, Will. The Counsel issued the orders in the first
place. Just like they issued those horrendous orders for the Ba'ku. I see a
pattern developing here and I don't like it. I can't get any work done
without them interfering."

Will began playing with a large marble that was lying on her desk. He twisted
it around in his hands, "Sometimes there's nothing you can do. If I could
help in any way I would. If the Counsel's got the rest of Starfleet
brainwashed on an idea, then there's no stopping them."

"But we were able to stop them in the Briar Patch. We should be able to do
something here."

Will put down his toy and stood, "Deanna, we can't exactly lead a starship
revolt here. This is something that is going to have to go through the
system. Maybe if every officer under Starfleet Medical lobbied to Command you
could get somewhere."

Deanna massaged her forehead. She felt a headache coming on. She seemed to
have those a lot lately. "All I know is that I can't work here under these
conditions. I don't want to be associated with people like Starfleet is
raising up. You know, it's so different in the stars, on a ship than it is
here. You know, out there you can do just about anything and get away with
it. Starfleet wasn't breathing down your neck, forcing you to do what they
want. Out there is where we really make the difference. All they do here is
play house and pretend to know what they're doing."

Will smiled, "That's why the best of the best are out there. It takes more
skill in the stars than it does here. On a ship, your in a frontier, away
from all of the mess that you find here. That's one reason why I like it so
much. It kind of takes you away from the problems. Sure, you encounter some
big problems, but at least you can solve them your own way instead of
listening to a bunch of fat guys behind a desk."

At that Deanna laughed, "I believe that's the best I've heard it put.
So....why are you here, and aren't you afraid of being seen here?"

Will shrugged, "The worst they'll do is put a reprimand on my record. Nothing
that hasn't been done before. Plus, I wanted to tell you that I'm going to go
insane if i can't have you with me. Deanna, I made a huge mistake three times
in a row for letting you go, either to another man or to another place. I
can't take it anymore and I have to know that you will always be mine."

Will held his breath as he stared into her wide eyes. She couldn't believe he
was telling her this now of all times. Deanna swallowed and began slowly,
"Will....you know I love you and you are my dearest friend."

"Then come back to the Enterprise with me. You said it yourself that you
couldn't work here. And if you want to stay, I'll make arrangements to stay
too. Geifn told me that on Betazed, they teach you to satisfy your soul above
all else and I've come to realize how wise that is. I'm going to literally be
miserable all my life if I can't have you. I need my Imzadi to satisfy my
soul. I need YOU, Deanna."

Deanna felt a tear roll down her cheek and wiped it away quickly. She said
softly, "You mean that?"

Will only nodded. "I do. What do you say?"

Deanna felt like laughing for joy. "I say, lets go home."

Will smiled and hugged her close, "This is the way it was always meant to be,
isn't it?"

Deanna's only response was to kiss the only man she had ever loved. The broke
and joined hands. The next morning, Deanna turned in her resignation at
headquarters and went home.
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END OF STORY