Title : Cell-ebrations
Series : TNG
Author : Sarajayne
Rating : ooo me aching head
Disclaimer : They own the characters and premise, but we sow the seeds
of imagination to improve our enjoyment ;-)


"Any idea how this happened?" Will Riker raised one eyebrow painfully before realising that moving anything was not a good idea.

Deanna Troi, the consummate Counsellor, smiled gently his way. "Well if you're asking about the cell we're ensconced within I can answer that, but if it's how we ended up naked, I'm not sure if you have the staying power." Watching as Will pulled his hand away from the back of his head, fingers still wet with blood.

"Heads killing me, but so is my curiosity." Slumping his head forward, to watch the sticky mess of blood that had dribbled down his chest from the back of his neck. One hand covering his modesty, while the other continued to cover the large cranial lump.

Across the small stone walled cell, he heard Deanna shift nervously. The room was only about 4 by 4 metres, obviously built to hold more people, but they were the only two present, and sans their clothes. Finally after what seemed hours, Deanna spoke up.

"Well it started with curiosity. Though why I ended up here due to your trespass I have no idea." The beautiful Betazoid counsellor had her hair down, no doubt they'd confiscated her usual hair accessories to halt their escape from their current confines, but he suddenly noticed something else.

"Deanna?" Waiting for her look his way again. "Is it the head blow or are you wearing my underwear?"

She laughed at the confused look he was giving her.

"Laughter is not fair." He grimaced. "Come on, share the information, my brain is going to burst." Finding himself suddenly swallowing back bile as he tried to shift his upright position on the cold wooden bench.

Deanna sighed, soon uncurling her legs, and moving from the opposite corner. She'd been facing him the last few hours, watching his reaction times. Head wounds were dangerous let alone when the injured was drugged prior to the blow.

Non fussed by her bare torso, breasts bouncing free, Deanna held onto Will's underwear and made her way to sit beside him. Immediately checking his head for herself. "Well I wasn't wearing any to the banquet, and so when they arrested us, they gave me yours to cover up with."

"Why?" He sucked in breath as she probed and got a reaction she was expecting, cursing.

Deanna blushed a little. "Well you of all men should know what a horrible sight underwear lines can be to a flattering dress."

Will grinned. "I knew why." A glint of mirth in his blue eyes. "What I meant was, how did you get mixed up in my antics and black briefs."

"So you remember the dare?" Sitting back after examining his wound.

"Dare? Deanna it was a Catarian ceremony!" He replied angrily till his throbbing head reminded him why he was stationary and not pacing the cell's confines. "Dammit!" He groaned, dropping his head to his now pulled up knees.

Deanna waited patiently, watching the crazy cracking of dried blood flaking off from his shoulder as he curled over. Giving in to intimacy, she rested a warm hand to his bicep and gently massaged it till he focussed on something other than bashed brains.

"It was a dare Will." She swallowed her embarrassment. Watching as Will rotated his gaze round to hers.

"Go on." Knowing he'd been had in more ways than one.

"The ceremony was real….we just made a few oversights." Biting her bottom lip.

The silence was deafening.

"They do eat naked at their ceremonies don't they?" Remembering a certain red haired doctor egging him on to join in when he'd first baulked at the offer from the dignitary to join in.

"They dance, sing, and think naked." She paused. "It turns out they just don't like fur."

"Fur. Deanna I wasn't wearing any…" he stifled a laugh. "My chest, they thought it was fur."

"A biased opinion based on the olden times when they fought the more hairsuite Catarians from the northern continent." Deanna replied, sounding incredibly like Data as she prattled off their likes and dislikes. "The Catarians, as previously mentioned in the briefing, are telepathically aware. When you made your blunder, they sought to arrest myself as well."

Will squinted a little, trying to make his brain think beyond wanting to fall asleep. "Hang on. They sensed our connection? The bond. The link?" Grasping at disorientated brain cells.

Deanna smiled, pecking him a kiss sweetly on his bruised cheek. "No. I guess my attempt to drag you free of the temple guards was my undoing. That, and the fact they knew I'd dared you to enter."

"The temple?" He added.

"The temple." She grinned. "A most honoured place that hairsuite men should not venture….especially with a hairless naked female."

Will looked at her in confusion.

"Will? Surely you remember…"

Will continued to look at her in confusion.

Deanna blushed brightly and lowered her eyes from his curious blues. "We were caught in flagrante upon the dais of the mother Ulcion."

Looking up she noticed his eyes wide open in disbelief. "I did what?"

"Well technically, we did." She smiled warmly, running a comforting hand over his cold and clammy chest. "I dared you to dance naked in the temple…and well we nearly did...the only thing was that when someone entered they thought you were a northern Catarian having his way with a pretty southern girl."

"So they called the guards." He nodded. Trying to ignore the throbbing flashes of pain behind his eyes.

"When they pulled you off, they realised you were a visiting dignitary, but still roughed you up a bit for unceremonious use of the temple. When they realised it was my fault they threw us both in here. You however sustained the worst of the bumps and bruises from resisting arrest."

Will sat back against the wall and breathed deeply, taking it all in. "How sober was I when I fell for your little 'dare'?"

"About as sober as I was." She grinned. "Well a little less I guess."

"And regardless of how we were found, they then found my underwear and gave it to you? But no other pieces of uniform?"

"Well it was the only pair they found so thought they were mine." Grinning when they first presented them to her demanding she cover up. "As for your uniform…Beverly stole it as a prank. You'll find it floating in a fountain somewhere."

Will started to chuckle until he added in a groan. "Why am I not surprised? Real alcohol, two women and a society very free with its emotions. Why the captain didn't see this coming I don't know why."

Deanna leaned into him, resting her head against his. "Think we'll be graveyard shifted?"

"I wouldn't worry about that. I'd be more concerned about whether he bothers to collect us." Will mumbled as the head injury started to take its toll on his strength.

Deanna watched him carefully; aware he was trying to slink off into a dangerous deep sleep. "I'm sure Beverly informed him immediately once the commotion started. Naked first officers taking out a whole squad of security guards can't be too hard to miss on a daily report padd." She supplied. Glad to see slithers of blue glance her way.

"A whole squad? Feels like a battle cruiser reverse warped over me." He groaned quietly.

Silence soon pervaded The naked duo still sitting side by side in deep thought. "Deanna?" Will spoke first.


"If my uniform is being eco washed in a fountain somewhere, where's your dress?" Will wondered, just before the brilliance of light washed over them both, blinding them until a figure blocked the glare.

Will squinted as Deanna straightened her posture and covered herself before her superior. His presence familiar enough, and his fuming anger understandable, for her to recognise.

"Sir?" Will surmised. The way Deanna had suddenly whip snaked into Academy stance didn't bode well for a happy greeting from their new visitor.

Feeling sick from the disappointment he'd caused in his superior, Will tried to stand to attention. Only to find himself flat back on his butt, with both the Captain and Deanna clinging to him to stop him hitting his head once more.

"I would have though explicit scenes in forbidden chapels were behind you by now Commander." The captain sighed, taking in the bloodied naked mess before him.

Looking to Deanna, Will cringed. "This is almost as embarrassing as when you devolved into a fish and I a woolly mammoth." Deanna sniggered despite the seriousness of the captain.

"Just be thankful that my CMO confessed to convincing yourself into being a teenager again…the both of you." He took in the counsellor, and her blushing cheeks, soon handing her the original dress that had gone missing.

Upon Will's queried looks, Deanna finally gave him the answer he'd been wondering about. "Beverly decided it'd be fun to take my dress while I was daring you. I guess karma works in friendly ways."

Looking away, the Captain focussed on Will's slow blinking while Deanna got dressed, the black briefs finally falling free from her slim waist. "I think we'd better get these back on you Will, before Beverly takes a holoimage." Sensing her friend nearing the cell.

Pants covered, wobbling and pale as a ghost, Will Riker finally stood tall beside his captain, and only just thanks to the strong shoulder Picard had propped there. "Beverly." He grumbled as the red headed fiend entered the room.

"I take it we've been given permission to take them home captain?" The CMO enquired nervously avoiding her best friends burning glare.

"All has been arranged doctor, now if you wouldn't mind. I have a distressed ships counsellor and a rather worse for wear XO. I would think immediate care would be the order of the day...unless you would prefer we asked Will who it was who suggested this whole prank in the first place." His no nonsense statement drawing her out of her stare.

The worse for wear couple looked like they'd been through hell, but somehow there was a smile plastered on Will's face. Performing a scan, and shunting a few hypos into them both, it wasn't long till the duo were progressing through the cell doors and out into the brightly lit corridor.

"What's so funny?" Beverly asked, as now, not only was Will grinning, but so was Deanna.

Will's grin grew across his face, eyes glistening with mirth as he took in Deanna's all too knowing smile. Memories floating back. "I guess the bear finally caught the salmon."

The captain seeing the inference, soon too joined in with a chuckle. "And if history serves me correct number one, we should inform the park ranger of a rouge bear taking out the salmon."

The quizzical look on Will's face was priceless.

"If you mean telling my mother about this incident, I'm sure she'd love to come on board to hear it personally." Deanna replied, hoping the threat of a visit from a fuming Lwaxanna would keep the captain from mentioning her daughters fling with a certain dashing beared officer.

"Well if you've all finished blackmailing each other, can we get out of here? My fishing tackle is getting cold." Will grumbled as a trail of goose bumps parading themselves over his body. The loss of blood finally failing to keep him warm.

Wandering into the large open are of the cell parade ground, Will took in the intersecting corridors of stone and damp air, seeing himself lucky to have escape with a little less dignity than when he'd arrived on the planet.

"Time to go home commander." Deanna purred quietly as she took her place beside him. Waiting for the captain to order their transport.

Will groggily smirked her way. "I won't tell you mother if you don't." he winked just as the transport beam started to zing musically around them.

But just before mortals became atoms, Deanna Troi has one last thing to say. "I dare you Imzadi."


Splish splosh the end