Personal log

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Personal log. Commander William T. Riker.

T for trouble I'm sure. If only stupid started with T, I'm sure it'd
stand for that too.

Sometimes I wonder if I could ever make a bigger crisis than the Borg
invasion. Well now I know it. In fact so does the whole of Ten
Forward.

Somewhere on this ship, the gossip express grapevine is doing the
rounds. The smirks in the corridor a few moments ago before entering
my quarters was enough to confirm it. The only thing to make it more
obvious would be someone striding past me with a rose between their
teeth. Ha. Oh well.

I guess Deanna did have a point. No agreement, no wedding. So here I
am sitting alone in the dark, starring at my computer screen typing
out my day's work of demolishing every little bit of respect I'd ever
earned from Lwaxana. A woman who takes at least four decades times to
get along with. Maybe she should seek a mate in the Trill society?

Roses? She had to be kidding...maybe not. She did wear that little
hauty frown that Deanna inherited when I joked..."Your not seriously
going to make me walk stark naked down an isle of prickly roses are
you?"...Guess she was. Voices rose between us. Rising right in front
of Deanna's quiet pose.

I should of realised that she was going to burst. The little things.
The little signs. The bond for one was a real obvious moment of her
silent anger. The sharp clang in my head rang out from her closing
the connection but still I ranted about Lwaxana's pathetic attempt to
take over Deanna's wedding for her own glorification. Glorification
for the benefit of her Betazed society circles. More bragging and
gossip for her, and a hellish ceremony for us.

So. Deanna. I'm nominating her a medal for the healing of diplomatic
misunderstanding. I mean negotiating between her mother and me wasn't
something I ever wanted her to have to do. But she did it. Stood up
right when our shouts couldn't become louder and Ten Forward sat
silent in awe of the battle before them. Her solitary statue pose
caught our words in our throats, right before I was ready to throw
something.

If Deanna had thrown a fork a cup or anything at me then it would of
been millions of light years better than the one sentence she
declared.

"This conversation is ended, the wedding is off."

Her retreating back a beautiful sight on most days, but today the
worst moment. Hundreds of groups of eyes either starred at me or
looked away in embarrassment for me. Guess the lack jawed look was
never my best facial feature.

Lwaxana had fled after her daughter leaving me to storm out of the
room by myself in front of the damn crew. I didn't have to be an
empath to feel their guilt for witnessing my own destruction of what
was to be the best time of my life. The final joining of my soul.
Huh. If I could smack myself for each careless word I'd said in front
of her I'd be in sickbay for weeks. Come to think of it I'm sure
Beverly will be placing me there once she finds out about my
hurtfulness to Deanna.

So here I am. Moping in the dark with a good whiskey Guinan gave me.
She placed it in my hands with a silent disapproval only a few metres
after leaving Ten Forward's quiet doors.

She knew it'd make me see sense. Batter down the Command barriers
that'd placed themselves errect once Lwaxana had mentioned how droll
Earth weddings were.

So Riker. Guess it's the lonesome road through the stars for you
tonight. No way would I attempt to mend the bridge now. Tomorrow
would be better. Her bond still closed to me no matter how much of my
scattered emotions are washing up on her shores.

I'll get down on bended knee and beg. What mere male wouldn't to such
a goddess like Deanna. Then there will be the apologies to Lwaxana,
the mother in law from hell, and the apology to the Captain aswell,
for the unbecoming behaviour of his first officer to a well
respected, and feared, Ambassador.

Oh Deanna if you were here I would kiss all ten fingers and all ten
toes with each regret till you bade me to kiss your knees, then your
belly button, then your lips.

The Betazoid who stole my soul to wear behind her onyx eyes as a
throne. A theft I was always proud to allow. A warm and beautiful
goddess who could only do my soul good. She'd treat it fairly and
love me tender for it. And I would do the same for her. Deanna.....

Here's to a new beginning and a new start regardless of Lwaxana's
meddling. And here's to the new dawn of my life with hopefully the
most exquisite Betazoid this quadrant has ever seen.

End Personal log