What Is Wrong With Me?


Disclaimer: I don’t own TNG. I’m not claiming to. So find someone else to sue.

Note: During ‘Insurrection’. It’s my favorite Star Trek movie. I never saw the TNG series so I don’t know a lot about the characters, but I like what I’ve seen, so here goes nothing.


Deanna woke with a start. She looked around. ‘Oh no.’ she thought. ‘What have I done?’ It was Will. He was next to her. ‘What have I done?’

She laid back down, hoping not to disturb him. Deanna searched her mind for the day and night’s events. She could remember. She knew exactly what she did. She didn’t know why she did what she did.

Deanna could remember how she felt and what she felt. She still felt it know. She was observing the situation as if she was looking at another person, she had been taught to view situations like that.

‘What is wrong with me?’ Deanna couldn’t understand it. A long time ago she told her self she would never do this again. It hurt too much in the end. It hurt too much all the time. Was that what she was doing? Was she trying to stop the pain?

Deanna thought for a moment. She thought about how she felt and what she did. No. She couldn’t believe that. This wasn’t about pain. This was about him. This was about her. This was about them.

Deanna then realized something that she had not felt for a very long time. She felt young. She didn’t necessarily “old” normally. But she felt young. She felt exhilarated and excited. She had felt like this before. But that was a long time ago.

‘This is now,’ she thought. ‘This is happening.’

She was glad that it was happening. But she was afraid of what would happen, what always happens. It felt different this time. It felt exactly the same, but it was different.

‘Is this going to happen?’ Deanna looked at Will. He looked to peaceful. She had seen him sleep before, but this was different. It was exactly the same, but it was different.

“Should I?” she whispered to herself quietly. Deanna knew what would happen, what always happens.

‘On this ship, anything’s possible.’

She had said that. It was her. Anything is possible. Anything. ‘Even this? Should I risk it?’

Her head said no. Her heart said yes.

When did she ever listen to her head? At least he didn’t have a beard anymore.