Title: I surrender
Author: Sunstar
Rating: G
Category: ST:TNG, R/T romance, Deanna's POV
Archive: my site, Imzadi everlasting
Summary: This story is too short for a summary, so just read it.
Disclaimer: No names, so I don't need one.
Spoilers: None

Author's note: I wrote this one in like an hour. Just a tiny fic.
This is based on the song I surrender by Celine Dion. I shamelessly
modified the lyrics to be used as my text in this fic. :P hehe
I'm adding the lyrics after the story. They're probably longer than
the fic itself. LOL

Story takes place…umm… lets say sometime during the first three
seasons of TNG.

Thanks to Pia and Angela for helping me.

All feedback is welcome and hoped for but please be gentle.

Copyright (c) 2004 Sunstar


I surrender
by Sunstar 7/2004


I looked in the mirror and saw a person who was scared; terrified of
the feelings she saw reflected on her face.

"That's not true." I tried to tell myself. "The mirror lies. That's
NOT how I feel!"

But the mirror didn't lie. I couldn't hide from what was within me
anymore.

I thought I had crushed the flame but apparently I hadn't done a good
enough job. It had been left to smoulder and now the fire had spread
too far. It was too late to stop it. The feelings and emotions were
running wild and getting so strong, so desperate, that soon anyone
would be able to tell.

"What am I going to do?"

I see him at work everyday and I run into him during off duty hours.
There is no way avoiding him and no denying the desire and the dread
that race in me every time our eyes meet and his mind touches mine.

There is so much life left to live and I have so many dreams. When I
watch him look at me I think I could find the will to stand for all
those dreams and give up the fear within.

But it is hard, harder than I ever thought possible.

I've said "no" so many times and turned him down more times than I
can count. I don't know if he wants me anymore.

And what about everyone else? What about mother? What would happen if
she knew that I had fallen for him, again. She'd be furious.

But I would surrender everything to feel the chance to live again.
The time I spent with him when we were younger was the best time of
my life, I truly felt alive then.

I don't want to spend another night away from him. I need him in my
life. That's something I have to accept. There is no better time than
now to break free from the fears and let my love guide me.

I must swallow my pride and take back the words I've said. "Not while
we're serving on the same ship." How stupid is that? How could we be
together if we were not on the same ship? When he is near I always
lose the ability to think straight. I must have said that to protect
our careers. But there are many other couples on board. If they can
make it work, why couldn't we? If I want my dreams to come true, I
can't let anything come between us, not our careers and not my mother.

Just the thought of being with him makes my heart beat faster and my
breath catch in my throat. All I have to do is reach out to him, tell
him I want to try. He must feel the same. There is no way the flames
within me would rise so high without someone fanning them, and since
I have been trying to squash them, it must be him doing the fanning.

I smile.

I know he can make my dreams come true. All I have to do is surrender.

And that's exactly what I do. Walking to his door I surrender.


The End

CELINE DION - I Surrender

There's so much life I've left to live
And this fire is burning still
When I watch you look at me
I think I could find the will
To stand for every dream
And forsake this solid ground
And give up this fear within
Of what would happen if they ever knew
I'm in love with you

'Cause I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender

I know I can't survive
Another night away from you
You're the reason I go on
And now I need to live the truth
Right now, there's no better time
From this fear I will break free
And I'll live again with love
And no they can't take that away from me
And they will see...

I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender

Every night's getting longer
And this fire is getting stronger, babe
I'll swallow my pride and I'll be alive
Can't you hear my call
I surrender all

I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'll make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'll make you give them all to me
I'll hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender

Right here, right now
I give my life to live again
I'll break free, take me
My everything, I surrender all to you

Right now
I give my life to live again
I'll break free, take me
My everything, I surrender all to you