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I can't believe I pushed him away. Oh sure, I giggled about it as I
pushed him out the door, but inside I was shaking like a leaf! Will
had kissed me, more than once, and my Gods...I just didn't have a
clue as to how to react. I knew intellectually that his new-born
urge to "chase" me was probably the result of the emanations from the
Briar Patch, but try telling that to my heart!
I was so confused, not to mention excited. The look in Will's eyes
as he dove for me on the loveseat...the way he smelled...and the way
his lips felt when they finally touched mine...well, let's just say
it was more than I was prepared for. I had to push him away, had to
get him out of the door, otherwise I knew I'd fall into his arms and
we'd make love right then and there in the library.
I can almost hear the young Will I met years ago teasing me about
that...about never giving into my feelings...about analyzing things
to death. But how could I have done any differently? We'd been
strictly friends for so many years that our old relationship seemed
to be just a wonderfully warm memory that we happened to share. How
could I chance ruining things between us by allowing myself to
respond to him?
And yet, that night when I was lying in bed alone, I couldn't get him
out of my mind. I wanted him. Physically. But more than that, I
loved him. I knew it the second he touched me. It scared me,
feeling those old feelings again, not knowing if they really came
from the two of us or if it was some hormone-induced phenomenon that
would disappear the moment we left this area of space.
I must've tossed and turned for hours; one moment absolutely certain
that nothing must ever happen between us, the next, positive that
this might just be our second chance. Gods! I nearly drove myself
insane with the debate until I heard a familiar voice inside my mind.
My heart fluttered and I bolted upright in bed. <<Will...?>>
I could almost sense him grinning. <across the ship. Are you trying to keep me awake or what?>>
I giggled softly, then curled back down against the pillows.
<<That's exactly what I was trying to do. How did you know?>>
<<Because you're the only person on this ship I can communicate this
way with. Now why don't you come to my quarters and we can talk
My heart really began to flutter at that. He wanted to talk. About
us. Oh boy. <<I'm not sure if that's a good idea, Will. I'm
<<Deanna...Imzadi...tell me you didn't feel what I felt earlier. Tell
me you're not obsessing about it right this minute? Tell me you
don't want to try again...to see where this is headed?>>
I felt tears rise in my eyes at his words. Of course I did! I loved
him. I never had truly stopped. I was just...scared.
<<Don't say a word. I know what you're thinking and it's not just the
planet's effects, sweetheart. I love you. I still love you. Oh
hell, Deanna, I've always known it. It just took being here with you
this way to remind me, to bring it to the surface.>>
I was crying in earnest now, all of the years of suppressed love and
longing rising up in my heart like a tidal wave. I DID love him, and
I realized he was right. It was more than the Briar Patch, it was
us. It was our bond. It was Imzadi.
<<Can you...will you...Damn. Why is this so hard?>>
<<Say no more. I'll be right there.>>
Our link broke and I felt the most intense feeling of relief wash
over me. He knew exactly what I needed but was unable to say
In a few moments my chime rang and I called for the door to open. He
stood there, dressed in his blue bathrobe, looking adorably sleepy.
Looking like the beautiful man that I was crazy about.
I stood, dropped my lavender robe and went into his arms.
We made love all night long, and through it all there were no words
spoken between us. There didn't need to be. Everything we'd ever
felt, ever thought, ever wanted was expressed with our bodies and our
hearts. It was the most beautiful night of my life. It was filled
with the promise that our very first time had held so many years
before, and I felt as though my heart had been knitted up; healed for
the first time. Finally.
When it was over and we lay in each other's arms, I looked into his
eyes and smiled. "Why did we wait so long, Imzadi?"
He stared down at me with such love in his eyes that I felt a warm
glow spread throughout my soul.
"I don't know. Maybe we weren't ready for this until now. All that
matters is that you're in my arms and you love me. Deanna, you have
no idea how much I've wanted this."
"Oh, I think maybe I do."
We lay there, staring into each other's eyes, newly astonished by the
power of our feelings for each other. I felt as though I were
dreaming. After a long quiet moment, he kissed me again and then
said, "So, would you like to do it again?" The wicked twinkle in his
eyes made me laugh, it was so damned sweet and wonderfully familiar.
"Oh yes...yes, yes yes!"
"Before we do though...I have a suggestion..."
"Well, there's a hot tub in my quarters...maybe you and I could make
use of it? I haven't gotten to try it yet. What do you say? You,
me, some champagne, and lots of bubbles?"
"I'll race you."