“Sudden Inspiration” TNG R/T (Insurrection Spoilers!)
From: imxfscully@aol.com (ImXFScully)
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Let’s see if I can be the first person with some Insurrection fic up on the
boards! What DIDN’T we see between that first kiss with Riker and Troi and the
bubble bath? These characters are the property of Paramount, etc. Feedback
would be dearly appreciated.
Sudden Inspiration
by XFScully
“Yuck?” Deanna repeated just after the doors slid shut. The man she’d loved
more than any other, the man she’d been caught in a platonic-yet-not cycle with for ten years, this man just kissed her, their first real kiss in years and
years, and all she could say was “Yuck?”
Not much in the way of inspiration.
Then again, she hadn’t meant it at all literally — she HAD kissed him since
he grew the beard, after all, on that long-ago night after a poker game when
they had nearly, so nearly, broken through to each other. And of all the
tumultous feelings that had cascaded through her when Will Riker kissed her
again — none of them could be remotely described as “yuck.”
She’d said it to buy herself some time. To think about what had just
happened — and what might be about to happen.
Deanna lay back on her own couch, aware of her nearly-subconscious reason for
doing so: she was, after a fashion, psychoanalyzing herself now. And she
couldn’t afford to make any mistakes. Not about this.
Did she love him? Of course she did — Deanna brushed aside this question
almost without thinking. She had accepted her enduring love for him years ago,
learned to live with it as a part of her life, even though it remained
unfulfilled. There had been dark days when she had suspected it was unrequited
as well; yet however often Will’s attentions might wander, he always returned
to her in the end.
Why had they never reunited before? This was what had kept her up nights,
years ago; this question, dark and confusing and unanswerable. In the
beginning, she’d had her own bitterness to work through. Also, they hadn’t
known each other — not as adults. They both still remembered the younger,
giddier people they’d been so long ago, when they first fell in love. But
after a year or so had gone by — once they discovered that maturity had only
strengthened their connection — why not then?
Oh, a thousand reasons — Will’s devotion to his career, his continued fears
of committment. And, truth be told, some of the fault was her own; she had
been too proud to pursue the issue. Being rejected by him again — it was more
than she could have borne. Their friendship might have been destroyed along
with her ego.
And so, she had carried on. Kidded him about his various girlfriends,
pursued her own relationships. But only Worf had come close to touching her
heart — and even that romance, enjoyable and fun and passionate as it had
been, could by no means be truly described as love.
How had she come up with so many explanations to justify living a life
without love?
“Stop talking in circles, Deanna,” she whispered. “Get down to what you’re
really worried about.”
Why now?
Why, after these years of excuses and bantering and considering, had they
suddenly thrown all caution aside? One day, they were reviewing personnel
files with the usual attending boredom; the next, she was doing that thing to
his neck — she couldn’t even believe she remembered the thing with his neck!
— and he was kissing her.
This — infatuation, that was the only word for it — had taken them both
over. Instantly.
Should she be cautious, or just give in?
For a moment, Deanna let her imagination wander. She remembered Will Riker
as a lover — oh, did she ever. But she’d fought the temptation of fantasizing
about him; as he was her coworker and friend, not to mention superior officer,
she hadn’t thought it wise. Of course, the odd flash of passionate memory
would surface from time to time — she couldn’t help that. And no woman could
be held responsible for dreams that woke her up in the dead of night, with her
breathing fast and her heartbeat pounding. Those were — accidents, really.
But deliberate, prolonged, savored fantasy — Deanna had declared that
off-limits, years ago, and had kept that declaration with astonishing
discipline.
Now, however, the walls she’d put up within her own mind crumbled. If she
hadn’t pushed him away — if he were still here, on this couch, with her —
they could be —
Ohhh, my.
Dangerous ground, Deanna.
He’s pushed you away, time and time again, every time you intimated that you
wanted something more serious.
He has never committed to you, and never suggested that he was ready for a
committment.
Until today —
Could two people go back in time? Could an old mistake be corrected?
For the first time, she really believed it might be true. Deanna actually
laughed out loud, the jubilation bubbling up inside her; she hadn’t felt a wave
of giddy optimism like this since she was a girl.
“Maybe we can,” she whispered. “Maybe we’ll get a chance to do it right
after all.”
But how on earth could she find out, for certain, that he was serious?
Marching into his quarters and declaring her undying love — she’d envisioned
that scenario before, and the mere thought of beginning was enough to terrify
her.
And if he said no —
No, that couldn’t be borne. She’d have to find another way of finding out
his true intentions: something playful, something that would leave them both an
easy out, if necessary.
And if not necessary —
Her eyes opened wide as inspiration struck.
Will Riker paced the length of his cabin. Let’s see, he thought. Go to
Deanna now, and try again? Wait a day or so, let her get used to the idea?
Damn damn damn.
He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and ran one hand over his cheek,
smiling ruefully. “Yuck?”
She couldn’t mean that, could she? Will hadn’t been so caught up in
indecision and insecurity since he was a teenager. How many years had it been
since he’d wondered whether or not a woman was attracted to him? Since he’d
felt himself ready to tear down the walls to get to a woman?
But of course, this wasn’t any woman. It was Deanna — his Deanna —
“Counselor Troi to Commander Riker.”
He actually jumped at the sound of his commbadge, then gathered himself
together to answer. “Riker here.”
“Will — I have an idea I’d like to run past you.”
“Go ahead.”
“Actually, I think I’d prefer to discuss this face to face. Can you come to
my quarters.”
Could he ever. “I’ll be right there.”
It normally took him about 6 minutes to get from his quarters to hers; he
made it in two. Will paused for a moment before her door, gathering his
thoughts. She hasn’t necessarily decided to take you back, you know, he told
himself. She may be about to read you the riot act for even presuming you
could just waltz back in here and kiss her, after all this time.
But it didn’t matter.
He loved her, dammit — and he was going to find a way to convince her that
now, finally, they ought to be together.
Will pressed the door chime, and heard Deanna call out, “Come in!”
She was sitting on her analysand’s couch, turning something over and over
between her fingers. He raised an eyebrow as he realized it was an ivory
handled blade. “How are you planning on using that?”
Deanna grinned. “Depends on the answer to my next question.”
“You have my full attention.”
“What you said earlier — about going back in time — Will, were you
serious?”
He nodded slowly. “Absolutely.”
“Prove it.”
It’s actually happening, he thought in amazement. She’s actually taking me
back. “How do I convince you?”
“The beard.”
“What?”
“It’s got to go.”
He paused for a moment; until this afternoon, he’d never once considered the
beard unattractive. Will rather liked the piratical air he thought it gave
him. But if that was all she asked — “It’s gone. I take it you want to do
the honors?” he asked, gesturing towards the straight razor.
“I’ll try not to hurt you.” Deanna rose slowly from the couch and walked
toward him, her dark eyes glinting with laughter and passion. “But we’re going
to need a lot of warm water and soap — don’t you think?”
With that, she stepped past him and hit the controls to her bathroom door.
It slide open to reveal a steaming bubble bath, illuminated by candles.
Will felt himself grinning from ear to ear. “I think I’m being seduced.”
“What tipped you off?” She cocked her head to one side, returning the smile.
She took his hand and led him into the bathroom; yet as the doors slid shut,
she felt a little of her girlish exhilaration leave her. This was serious,
now. This was real.
Deanna looked up at him, whispering softly, “Will — do you think we’re doing
the right thing? Giving into this — sudden infatuation?”
“I prefer to think of it as inspiration,” he answered, leaning down to enfold
her in their long-awaited kiss.
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